Taking Chances (12 page)

Her father hadn’t left them for a shinier family, but
he hadn’t fought to stay with them either. Thinking about the brother she now had
a chance to get to know filled her heart. On the edge of her senses, dark shadows
still lingered telling her to be careful. Her father had loved them, and still
he hadn’t stayed. Sometimes even real love wasn’t enough.

With a heavy heart she got ready and rushed to the L,
the directions crumpled in her hand. She hadn’t called Jake to let him know she’d
be a few minutes late. She needed to see him, needed to be in his arms again. She
concentrated on getting to him. When the train arrived at her last stop, she
wasted no time and ran from the station and around the corner stopping only
when she hit an imaginary wall.

Gina walked out of the club, her brows pinched tight,
and her lips pressed tightly together made her look grumpier than ever. Lydia
didn’t want to deal with her and tried to hide in the shadow.

“It’s about time you showed up, but you’re too late.”
Gina stopped, efficiently blocking her way, and crossed her arms. “You think a
guy like Jake’s going to sit around and wait for you? Shit, he only had me for
one night before he looked somewhere else.”

Lydia tried to turn her ears off. She knew Gina
didn’t know a thing about Jake. Without acknowledging her, she continued on to
the club.

“I’ll save you the time. He already left.”

“What?” Lydia said, confused.

“I told you he wouldn’t wait. He left with Anne
earlier.”

“Are you making this up?”

“Nope, it’s the truth.
Surprised me,
too.
Guess she’s tired of waiting as well.”

“Thanks for your concern, Gina.” Nothing was
stopping Lydia from walking into the club tonight, not even Gina’s mean tricks.

“Suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Lydia walked to the unmarked door and pulled with
both hands. Jake had said it was heavy. She took a tentative step and reached
for the velvet curtain. A moving wall met her fingers, and she pushed it aside.

A dark and almost empty foyer greeted her. She knew
the room would be dark, but she feared she was missing something. Sometimes, an
enemy can do the most damage by simply telling you the truth. She had a sudden
desire to talk to Anne. They’d had a couple of nice chats this week, and each
time Lydia had come away more sure and ready for the next steps.

She walked to the reception desk armed with a plan.

“I’m supposed to meet Anne tonight. Could you call
her for me?”

“I would, but she’s already left.” The massive man
behind the desk stared at her. “What’s your name?”

“Did she leave with Jake already?” Her arms came
around her middle.

“Yes, what did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t.” She backed up, confusion stabbing
through her. “Oh shoot. I guess I’ll meet her another night.”

She stumbled back, danced around the curtain, and
into the cold night. She’d had enough for one day. There was only so much she
could process. Whatever was going on she’d figure it out tomorrow.

Unfortunately, the truth was simple. He was no
longer at the club. He hadn’t waited for her.

Maybe if she had called him earlier? Maybe she
should call him now. No. She wasn’t going to maybe herself out of this hurt. She
knew all along this could happen. If you put yourself out there, you can get
hurt. Somehow the orgasms had gone to her head and made her forget everything
she had learned in life.

You couldn’t count on love.

Lydia wandered aimlessly away from the club. An
onslaught of emotions overrode her senses hindering her from making a decision.
She felt raw from all that had been revealed today, and she didn’t want to deal
with it anymore.

The dark shadows would never leave her feeling this
vulnerable. She wanted the pain gone. Even if there was a reasonable explanation
for Jake and Anne leaving together, she wanted her shadows back and locked down
tight. There was only one place she could think of to go, a place to reset. The
place she wanted to go this morning. The one place she had always wanted to
explore.

The ravine.

She arrived just as the sun set and relaxed across
the fallen tree. Too bad she hadn’t thought to bring a blanket or a flashlight,
but the quiet night held her in a cool embrace. Minutes rolled by, and the
rhythm of the forest began to grow. Leaves rustled to her left and behind. A stick
snapped far away, and above her head she watch tree limbs moving as an unseen
animal made its way along a branch. The noises of the forest soothed her achy
nerves, and her soul got comfortable once again.

The dark of the forest helped her to put her dark shadow
back into place. Loving Jake still felt right, and a part of her longed for him,
but she needed to shut down the rest. Lydia wasn’t meant to have a happy
ending. She still had her mother, her career, and it looked like a brother. She’d
forgo the rest.

The explanation made sense to her hard heart, and
yet tears fell freely down her cheeks.

****

Jake sat outside Lydia’s mom’s house scratching his
neck. Where the hell was she? His phone rang, and hope surged through him. It
was the club.

“Is she there?” Jake said as soon as he answered the
call.

“She might have been. A woman matching her
description came in asking for Anne. She left without giving me her name once I
confirmed Anne left with you.”

“Okay, thanks for letting me know.” He ended the
call.

He dragged his hand through his hair. If that had
been Lydia, why did she ask for Anne and not him? He’d wring Gina’s neck if she
had anything to do with this.

After checking Lydia’s apartment again, he drove
aimlessly until he figured out he was going to work. It was where he’d met
Lydia, and if he couldn’t be with her, he at least wanted to feel close to her.

The building sat eerily quiet when he walked inside.
He wandered first through the conference room and finally to his office. He made
his way to the window and looked out at the ravine. He tried to remember what
it was Lydia had said that first day. It had only been five days ago.

Sometimes
things should be left alone.

She was right, of course. Disappointment and frustration
filled his veins, and still he wouldn’t accept he’d misjudged her. He hadn’t
been ready for such strong feelings again, but he accepted the fact love tended
not to work on your timetable.

There was no way a woman such as Lydia would be
placed right before him and he wouldn’t reach out to her. She was his match in
every way—except now it seemed she was hiding from him.

“Where the devil are you, woman?”

He searched the forest floor, like he could find her
from his office in the sky. Something was on the fallen tree. What was that?
Who…

“Lydia,” he shouted.

Anger and exhilaration threw out his frustration, and
he ran from his office, stopping first to get some reinforcements from Keller’s
office.

Chapter
Nine

“You look comfortable.”

“Holy Jiminy!
Where
did you come from?
Gees.”
She clasped her hand over
her heart.

“I’m sorry, no wait, I’m not. What the hell are you
doing out here?”

“Trying to savor what’s left of this sorry evening.
I’ve always wanted to sit out here, and tonight seemed like the right night.”

“I’ve been looking all over for you—”

“You can stop right there, Jake. You don’t need to
explain. I understand perfectly.” She resettled on the log and shut her eyes,
trying to will the peace back into her body.

“It would seem, sweetheart, you don’t understand a
thing. When you break a date with someone it’s common courtesy to let them
know.”

“I was a few minutes late, and I am truly sorry for
that, but you were the one that left. You were the one who abandoned me.”

“So, that
was
you at the club tonight.” He took a step closer. “Look, you left me no other
choice. I wasn’t going to give up.”

The need to find a happy place flew away, because
now she had something more exciting to do, and she knew she could do it. Lydia had
stood up to her brother, and now she’d put some of her newly found strength
right in Jake’s face. She climbed off the log and stormed over to stand within
an inch of him and jammed her finger in his chest.

“How could you walk away after the week we’ve had?” She
pushed her finger further into his chest. “I trusted you.”

Since tears filled her eyes and threatened to
overfill she turned away. She wanted to hide from him, hide the mess she didn’t
have enough strength to stop.

Her whole life she’d fought against inevitable hurt.
It was the number one reason why opening herself to feelings was off the table.
One handsome man pushing her buttons was all it took. She had thrown her rules
out the window, and all she had to show for it was another broken heart.

He stopped her from walking away any farther by
taking hold of her wrist. “You won’t turn your back on me, and I told you not
to poke me again.” He pulled gently on her wrist. “I warned you, remember?”

His words stopped her. She wasn’t going to turn
around though, not with the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I haven’t forgotten the week we’ve had. It’s quite
the opposite in fact. You’re all I can think about.” Jake tightened his hold. “I’ve
been worried sick. Why didn’t you leave your name at the club? Why didn’t you
contact me?”

“I figured the bouncer would be covering for you.”
She attempted to pull her wrist free, but his grip only tightened. “Let go of
me.”

“No. Answer the question, and please … turn around.”

Her resolve lay in tatters, but more importantly she
needed to be honest. She did as he asked, simply because they both deserved to
have this conversation face to face. They both deserved the truth.

“Thank you. I only left once you were officially
late. I needed to find you. I couldn’t just stand there anymore. I had to find
you.” His thumb caressed the back of her wrist. “Before we finish sorting out
what happened tonight, please tell me about your day. How are you? Your mother
seems to be doing okay now.”

“You looked for me?” Her eyes widened, and her
breath froze. She’d had it all wrong. “Wait, what? You talked to my Mom?”

“Yes, when I couldn’t find you, Anne got her
address. Your mom’s a nice lady. We had a quick chat. She’s expecting us both
for Sunday dinner. Why are you looking at me like I’ve got two heads?”

“I’m sorry.” She shook her head, but was unable to
release the confusion pumping through her. “Anne gave you my mom’s address?”

“Yes. Is that all you have to say?”

“No. You left the club to look for me?”

He took a step forward eliminating the space between
them. His hand caressed her face and then wrapped around to take hold of her
nape. “I missed you today. It frightened me not to know where or how you were.”

“I missed you, too. I went to call you a dozen
different times.” Something familiar nudged her line of thought.

“Why didn’t you?” He brushed her hair behind her
shoulders.

“I’m not used to leaning on someone.” It was a true
statement, but she’d hidden her day from him. Hiding was her father’s way, and it
kicked her in the gut to know she’d inherited this ugly trait.

As tempting as it was to look down, she stopped
herself. He had looked for her. She gazed into his concerned face. He hadn’t
run off with Anne. He’d been visiting with her mom while she sat tearing
herself apart, effectively cloaking the truth from both of them. Not him,
she
was the one standing in the way of
her happiness.

“I was feeling pretty raw by the time we finished
with the agent. When I got home, my brother stopped by. I thought it was you at
the door. I was shocked to see him, but we had a good visit.”

“What agent, and why were you shocked to see your
brother?” His hands roamed her body.

“Well, because I only talked to him once, and it was
years ago. Today, he came to tell me a few things about my father. It’s been
hard to take it all in. It seems my father was worse and better than I imagined.
More importantly, it turns out my father loved me … in his own way.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”
He took
hold of her hands and squeezed.

“I’ve never experienced love before. Well, except
from my mom. All these years, I believed my father and my brother didn’t care about
me, didn’t love me. As it turns out, they just didn’t love me enough.” She let go
of his hands and turned to examine the fallen tree. “My brother wants to put
the past behind us.”

“Will you?”

“Yeah, I think I will.”

“And me, what about me? Will you let your past go and
let us move forward?”