Taking Chances (24 page)

“
She
is
right here, and nothing happened. I just need to take a nap. If you guys are
done treating me like a child, I'd like to get to that.” I pushed past him and
headed for his bed.

It wasn't
either of their faults, and they really didn't deserve to have me snap at them.
But I was frustrated with how rapid my awesome feeling had turned into barely
being able to keep my eyes open and practically drooling at the thought of
taking a nap. I climbed into Brandon's bed, fully clothed and was out before I
could consider taking my shoes off.

The rest of the
weekend consisted of me feeling fine, and Brandon and Bree fluttering around me
like I was going to collapse at any given moment. I breathed a huge sigh of
relief when Sunday came and went. Bree, Claire and I had a girl’s day since
Chase bailed on family day again, and Monday I was back in class. Things were
already calming down with Bree and Brandon since there were no more weird
episodes, and I was certain they'd get over it completely if I made it through
the day. And get through it, I did. I'd had so much energy that day, I
practically skipped to each class and Bree had to hold me tight enough to keep
me walking. Thankfully, Brandon seemed to be completely over the fainting spell
too, because when I got back to his room that night, he immediately tossed me
on the bed and attacked my mouth and clothes. I hadn't had one of these steamy
sessions with the love of my life since Wednesday, and it was long overdue.

“
S
o Chase isn't
here again.”

“I know, Mom
and Dad have to be getting annoyed with him. He's missed the last few family
days.”

He has missed
five, not like I was counting or anything. I haven't seen him once since over a
week ago when I passed out, and other than that I'd only caught a glimpse of
him three times since our goodbye one month and two days ago. I know, I'm
pathetic. “Maybe I shouldn't come to family day Bree. I might be the reason he
doesn't come around anymore.”

That made her
finally look up from her laptop, “Why would you say that?”

“I don't know,
maybe he doesn't like that I'm intruding on family time.” My heart ached for
him, and I wish it didn't. I wanted to marry Brandon, it finally hit me two
weeks ago and I'd never been more sure of anything in my life; so the fact that
Chase still had a hold on me at all frustrated me to no end. Since the night
Brandon had come back from Arizona, I'd never once regretted my choice in
choosing him. I don't know how to explain it, but when I thought about my
future, he's the only man I ever saw. But I needed to say good bye to Chase for
good, I just didn’t know how to do that yet.

“You're not
intruding,” She huffed a laugh and went back to some video she was watching, “I
swear you fit in this family better than he does. I wish I had another brother,
I'd make you marry him so you could be my sister.”

I choked on the
chip I'd just put in my mouth and walked out of the pantry to gulp down some
water. When I got it dislodged from my throat, I hopped onto a barstool and dug
into the bag again.

“You're eating
again Harper?”

I paused for a
second, then shoved the handful of chips in my mouth. “Yeah?”

“You just ate
two burgers not even thirty minutes ago.” Bree was looking at the bag with
disgust. “I've never even see you finish one.”

“I know,” I
sighed and rolled up the chip bag, “I'm just so freaking hungry these last two
days, I think I'm going to start soon.”

“No you're
not,” She said sure of herself, “We still have a little over a week.” Bree and
I were together so much, we had synchronized. And trust me it wasn't a fun week
for anyone.

“You sure?” I
swear I felt like it had been forever since I had one.

“Mhmm.” She
burst into laughter and started clicking on the video again, “Oh my God Harper,
come watch this.”

I stood next to
her but didn't register what we were watching, I was too busy trying to
remember when my last one had been. Bree had to be wrong, because I don't
remember having our monthly chocolate and romance comedy fest lately. I hated
them and she never let me get out of that, but when was the last time we'd had
one? I had to go find my phone, I had a calendar on there where I tracked my
periods. I unconsciously started eating the chips again thinking about times
when I avoided anything other than chaste kisses with Brandon. It didn't hurt
his feelings, he knew what was going on when I got in those moods.

“Well look who
decided to join the party. Mom and Dad are already asleep.”

I slowly turned
to look down at Bree, was she talking to me? She had paused the video and was
leaning back in the chair, arms folded across her chest, shooting daggers
towards the living room. Following her line of sight, I dropped the bag when I
saw him standing there.

“I was busy,
Harper can I talk to you?”

“Uh,” I glanced
back at Bree's annoyed but confused expression, “yeah. Yeah I guess.” I took
two steps before gripping the counter, “Whoa.” Crap not again.

“Are you okay?”
They both rushed to me and I held a hand up to stop them.

“I'm fine, I
just got dizzy for a second.” I took a calming breath, “Thought I was going to
faint again.”

Bree tilted her
head to the side and looked at me curiously, Chase was in a fight with himself
on whether to help me stay standing or not touch me at all.

“How do you
feel now?” Bree questioned.

“Fine, I guess.
That was really weird.”

“Chase, maybe
now isn't a good time.”

“No I'm good
Bree, I'll be right back.” I followed Chase out to the driveway, and though I
wanted to close the distance between us, I stayed a few feet away. “Hi.” I said
pathetically. How would I ever tell him goodbye if I was already struggling
with myself to not kiss him?

He blew out
through his nose, “Hey Princess.”

“Where have you
been?”

“Working a lot,
classes, surfing. That's about it.”

I nodded my
head and looked at my feet, “Your family misses you.”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do
Chase.” How could he think I didn't?

“Harper I've
given you more than enough time. I can't stand to stay away from you anymore, I
need to know who you choose.”

“You're really
going to do this now? Bree could be listening from the front door!”

“Yes, now. I
need to know.”

“Chase how can
you even ask me to choose between you two?” I hissed through my teeth and met
his glare, “You left me, like you always do. You expected me to think you still
wanted me after you've completely avoided me for a month?”

He threw his
arms out, “I was giving you time! You asked me to give you time!”

“I didn't want
you to avoid me like the plague, I wanted you to fight for me. To show me that
you loved me like you said you did.”

“I do love you
Harper, and that's why I gave you that time to think about things without me
interfering.”

I took a step
back and he matched it, after a few silent moments I finally answered him, “I'm
sorry Chase, but I can't.”

“No. No, no n–”

“I can't be
with you. I love Brandon, I'm sorry.” I whispered.

“Baby don't say
that. I will fight for you, I will. Please just give us a shot.”

“A part of me
will probably always love you too, but I can't take chances with you Chase.
You'll leave me one day, and it will kill me when you do.”

“Wha– No! I
wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't.” He reached for me then and I let him hold me.

“You can't stay
with any one girl, that's just how you are. And that's fine Chase, it's fine.
You're with different girls every night, but when I think about love I think
about forever. You can't give me that, so I'm not going to hurt myself by only
having you for a short time.”

He lifted my
face and stared into my eyes, his were filled with unshed tears and the sight
of it almost knocked me off my feet, “I haven't been with anyone but you since
you started dating Brandon. I knew then there would never be anyone else like
you, and I wasn't going to waste time being with someone else.”

I wanted to
believe it, and truthfully I did. He was never with girls anymore, but that
didn't change anything. Chase had left me again. No matter what he said, he
would always leave me. I gently kissed the corner of his mouth and stepped out
of his arms, “I love you Chase.”

“Baby please,
don't do this!”

“I have to, I'm
sorry.”

He held onto my
hand, “Why? Why can't you be with me?”

I didn't
answer. I'd already told him everything there was to know about why I couldn't
let myself be hurt by him.

“Are you
sleeping with him too, Harper?”

“Why does that
matter?”

“Please,” he
closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “just tell me if you are sleeping with
him.”

I wanted to
tell him it wasn't his business, but of course that didn't come out, “I've only
been with you.” He let go of my hand then and I made it half way up the drive
before it hit me. Oh. My. Word. My eyes went wide and I sucked in a startled
gasp. Oh God, oh no.

“What? What's
wrong?”

“I have to go.”
I almost shouted as I ran for the house.

This couldn't
be happening. I took the stairs two at a time and rushed into Bree's room
searching frantically for my phone. I ignored the text from Brandon and pulled
up the calendar. She hadn't been lying, I was supposed to start in a week and a
half. I flipped back to last month and saw I never put in when I'd started,
because I hadn't. There on the calendar were the ovulation days, and smack dab
in the middle were the two days I'd been with Chase. I shut off my phone and
cursed when Bree came into the room.

“Are you okay?
What did he say to you? I swear he's such an ass!”

“No-nothing.
It's not him, I just feel kind of dizzy again.”

“Well what did
he want, he left after you came flying in here like a bat outta hell.”

Think Harper,
think. “Um, he was just...asking about a tattoo Brandon wants.”

She stood there
staring at me for a minute, she didn't believe me and I didn't blame her. “Is
there anything I can get you?”

“I just need to
go to sleep.” And freak out for a while without your knowing eyes on me.

We decided not
to go back to the dorm tonight, and got ready for bed there. I buried my face
in the pillow and chanted over and over again that I was wrong, this wasn't
happening, it was just a dream.

Waking up the
next morning, I jumped out of bed and hummed to myself while I was in the
shower. I had just been stressing last night, and forgetting about my period
from the previous month. I would have freaked out when I originally missed it,
and I hadn't so I was just making it seem like I could be – nope not even gonna
say the word. Bree said she was going to start breakfast, and after I got
dressed I skipped down to meet her.

“You look like
you feel better.” She grinned while she poured the egg yolks into the skillet.

“I do! I don't
know what was wrong with me last night. Probably just too much junk food.”

She grunted,
“That's an understatement. I've never seen you eat that much.”

I laughed but
stopped abruptly. What in the world? “What is that smell?”

Bree stepped
away from the stove and took a few hesitant sniffs. “I don't smell anything but
the eggs.”

“Ugh, are they
bad?” I opened the fridge and looked at the date on the carton. They still had
a week and Bree and I had picked them up just yesterday for Mom. I shut the
door and walked to the cabinet to get a glass. When I stepped behind Bree I was
assaulted again by the smell of the eggs. I barely made it to the kitchen sink
before throwing up everything from the night before. Aw hell.

Bree held my
hair back and got me a glass of water when I finished. When I finally looked up
at her I was surprised to see her pissed off. Her mouth was mashed into a
straight line, arms folded over her chest, an eyebrow raised. She wasn't
stupid, she'd put it together.

“Are you
kidding me?” She screeched, “You didn't even tell me you'd had sex with him!”

I started
shaking and fat tears were falling down my face, “This can't be happening.” I
sobbed and slid to the ground, “I'm just sick, right? This isn't happening!”

She sat on the
ground in front of me and pulled me into a hug. “Shh, it will be okay.” She
rubbed her hands over my back in comfort, “Have you taken a test Harper?”

“No, no I
can't,” I sobbed, “I can't be.”

Heaving a sigh,
she stood up and pulled me with her. “Well then maybe you're not.” Her sad
smile told me she didn't believe that for a second, “But we're going to find
out. Come on,” she grabbed two large water bottles out of the fridge and handed
them to me. “Start drinking these, I'll drive.”

We didn't say
anything the entire drive to the drug store. When she pulled into a parking
spot I just shook my head and handed her my card. Five minutes later she came
out with a bag full of boxes and handed them to me. I stared at the bag, and
after a minute started reading directions.

“You knew Bree,
didn't you.”

She sighed and
grabbed my hand, “I figured.”

“How?”

“A lot of
things. You've been eating a ton, last night wasn't your first dizzy spell. You
get out of breath when we walk to class, and you refused to leave Brandon's
side when
I
was having our week of hell last month. I kept thinking it,
but every time I brought up sex, you told me you still weren't ready. And then
today...well it was just the final piece of the puzzle.”

I didn't say
anything else, just continued to down the water and try to stop my entire body
from shaking. When we got back to Mom and Dad's she waited in the bedroom while
I used a stick out of each of the four boxes. If I was going to find out, I
wanted to be sure. Bree held me while I bawled my eyes out later from the
results. There had been a smiley face, a 'Yes', a plus sign and a 'Pregnant'.