She smiled and laughed as a tear trickled down onto the pillow.
‘He’s off the respirator and his lungs are good,’ Michael went on. ‘So’s his heart. You know, he looks a bit of a backchatter to me, and he’s not keen on the ICU so they’re moving him to the intermediate ward.’
She swallowed hard. ‘He’s doing that well?’ she said.
He nodded.
‘Does he have a name?’
‘Not yet. I was waiting for you. But I told him this morning that if he didn’t stop acting up I’d call him Jasper.’
Ellen laughed.
‘He doesn’t like me,’ he stated, ‘because I’m not very good at feeding him. Well, that’s not true, I can do it, but he doesn’t like the frock and mask I have to wear while I’m doing it.’
Ellen bit her lip as more tears welled in her eyes. ‘I want to see him so bad,’ she whispered. ‘I want to see you feeding him in your frock and mask.’
‘Don’t worry, you will,’ he assured her.
He turned round as her parents came into the room, then stood back to make way for her father.
‘Hello Dad,’ she rasped, as he took hold of her hand.
The big, brusque Nebraska farmer tried to speak, but for the moment was too overcome to get any words past the emotion in his throat.
Michael looked at his mother-in-law, who smiled and squeezed his arm before stepping forward. ‘Hi honey,’ she said, her tired face showing so much relief it seemed to lighten her by years. ‘How’re you feeling?’
‘OK,’ Ellen answered. ‘A bit of pain, but not much. I just want to see the baby.’
Nina smiled. ‘You’ve got a fine son,’ she said. ‘Dad and I are real proud.’
Michael put a hand on his father-in-law’s shoulder as the old man began quietly to sob.
Ellen tightened her hold on his hand and cried too. ‘I love you, Dad,’ she whispered.
He nodded, then nodded again. They all knew how precious she was to her father, his only child, the daughter he loved so much he had been too terrified to allow her out into the world for fear of something like this.
‘Come on, we don’t want to tire her now,’ Nina said.
Frank got to his feet, but Ellen held on to him. ‘Don’t go home yet,’ she whispered. ‘Please stay in LA for a while.’
‘We’re not going anywhere until you’re out of here
and
at home with your baby,’ her father assured her.
Ellen turned to look up at Michael. He came forward and took the hand that Frank released.
When her parents had gone she continued to cry, tears running from her eyes as she clung to Michael’s hand and tried to speak.
‘It’s OK, darling,’ he whispered. ‘Take it easy now. Just take a breath. It’s going to be all right.’
‘Oh Michael, I’m sorry,’ she choked. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Hey,’ he laughed. ‘There’s nothing to be sorry for.’
‘I should have told you,’ she said. ‘I should have told you as soon as I knew the baby was yours. You deserved to know. You’re his father, and I didn’t tell you right away. Oh Michael, I’m sorry.’
‘Sweetheart, it doesn’t matter now,’ he said. ‘All that matters is that you’re here and so’s the baby and you’re both going to be just fine.’
‘I should have told you about the phone call too,’ she said. ‘Someone threatened me. I don’t know who it was, but he told me to back off the movie. I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to worry you. You had so much going on with everything else, and you were going to lose everything … Oh God, I made such a mess of things and I love you so much.’
‘I love you too, and you’re a fool not to have told me. You should have known that you’d matter more to me than anything. But it’s in the past now. We can’t change it, so let’s just look forward.’
Her eyes gazed up into his and stayed there for a long, long time, looking at him, loving him and wanting so much to hold him. In the end she drifted into sleep, her hand still holding on to his.
He stayed with her until a nurse came and told him gently to go. He needed some rest too, and, though she didn’t say it, probably a shower and definitely a shave.
*
Chambers took a cab in from LA airport, not sure this time how long he’d be staying. Presuming his hotel bill would no longer be picked up by World Wide, he checked into a room at the Four Seasons rather than a suite and ordered the belongings he’d left in storage to be brought up by a porter.
It was early evening. He was tired, hungry and in desperate need of a drink and some company. But he knew he wouldn’t go in search of any, for he was still too bruised and shaken by the events of the past week to want to venture far from this room. Besides, the only person he really felt like talking to was Michael, but with so many issues between them right now, that call would have to wait. At least Ellen was pulling through, or so it had said on the news, but the first few months of doubt over the baby, and the collapse of the movie, were matters that he and Michael would have to sit down with sooner or later.
He toyed with the idea of trying Sandy’s London apartment again, but didn’t imagine Nesta would welcome being woken up at three in the morning. He’d tried earlier, during the stopover in Miami, but neither Nesta, nor any of Sandy’s colleagues at the agency, knew where she was. They hadn’t heard from her in over a week, but Nesta had been hopeful that once Sandy heard that the Colombian threat had now been dealt with, she would surface from wherever she was hiding.
Tom certainly hoped so, for he was anxious to let her know that he was no longer mad at her for disclosing his plans – if anything, as Gómez had pointed out, he wanted to thank her for saving his life. He wanted to see her, too, for, in a surprising kind of a way, he was missing her.
But any catching-up they had to do would have to wait until she decided to come out from wherever she was, and in the meantime he would take a solitary dinner in his room, sleep for at least twelve hours and
then
try to start piecing together some kind of plan for the future. That wasn’t going to be easy, for what had just occurred in Colombia was bringing back Rachel’s loss as though it had only just happened. He knew there was a good chance it would pass a lot quicker than before, but for now the memories, the pain and the longing were welcome, for it was all there was to hold them together until such time as he was ready to let go. And he’d do that soon, he was sure of it; and he prayed to God that when he did he would be able to find some kind of peace at last, and maybe even a life that felt worth living.
It seemed everyone was smiling at Michael as he made his way along the sixth-floor corridor to where Ellen had now been moved into a private ward. He smiled back, and was so euphoric that he might have shaken everyone by the hand, and even embraced them, had he not been so overloaded and in a hurry to get to Ellen.
She was holding down solids now, could manage the bathroom unaided, and the small infection that had concerned them a couple of days ago was all cleared up. In fact, there was a very good chance she’d be home by the weekend, which was going to be an event it would be hard not to celebrate with fireworks, brass bands and magnums of champagne. But since she wouldn’t be up to that, both their mothers were planning a small family dinner which had already turned the kitchen into a no-go zone, unless you had the courage of a madman. And since neither Michael nor Frank quite qualified there, they were left either to starve, or eat out.
Spotting Michael coming towards her, one of the nurses got instantly up from her work station and went to open Ellen’s door.
Ellen was sitting up in bed, the baby cuddled in her arms as she fed him his formula and gazed adoringly into his cute little face. There were no IVs or monitors
cluttered
around her now, just a TV set perched high on a bracket, a nightstand full of flowers and a pretty good view of the Santa Monica mountains from the window. And of course her son, who had been discharged from the hospital the day before and had been left here earlier by Michael while he went off to get her a surprise.
Hearing the door open she turned to see who it was, then immediately started to laugh as she saw Michael struggling with a pot plant that was on the fast track to becoming a tree.
‘It’s not from me,’ he told her, manoeuvring it in through the door.
Ellen frowned curiously, and was about to ask when Michael put a finger over his lips for her to stop.
‘OK. Surprise!’ he called.
Ellen looked at the door, then gave a sudden gasp of joy as Robbie’s little face peered anxiously round the corner. ‘Oh my darling,’ she cried, holding out an arm for him to come to her. ‘What are you doing here? When did you arrive? Oh, let me see you. I’ve missed you so much.’
More certain now of his welcome, Robbie looked at his dad, then went sheepishly over to the bed. ‘They wouldn’t let me bring Spot,’ he said, looking sideways at the baby.
‘Oh, never mind,’ Ellen laughed. ‘I’ll see him soon. Do you want to jump up here, next to me? You can see the baby better then. He’s your brother, you know.’
He nodded, then lifted his blue eyes to Ellen. He looked so solemn and worried that she glanced at Michael to see if he could explain it.
‘I’ve got to go talk to the doctor about the insurance,’ Michael said. ‘I’ll be right back.’
Surprised by his abrupt departure, Ellen turned back to Robbie. ‘You going to climb up?’ she offered.
He nodded, and tugging on the blanket he hoisted himself up next to her.
‘Can I give you a kiss?’ she asked, as he gazed down at the baby.
Again he nodded, and hugging him close she kissed him hard on the head. ‘I’m so happy you’re here,’ she told him. ‘It’s the best surprise ever.’
Robbie kept his head lowered, apparently entranced by his new brother.
‘Do you like him?’ Ellen said softly.
Robbie shrugged. ‘Yeah, he’s OK,’ he said.
She smiled and hugged him again. ‘So when did you get here?’ she asked. ‘I’m so glad you kept it as a surprise, and my plant is wonderful, by the way. Definitely the best one I’ve had. We can probably put it in the garden when we get home.’
‘Dad said that,’ he responded. Then he turned his head to look at her. ‘I’m sorry I was nasty to you,’ he suddenly blurted. ‘I didn’t want you and Dad to be unhappy, and for you to go and leave Dad on his own and I know it was my fault, but Dad says it’s all right now and that you’re not angry with me …’
‘Oh Robbie,’ she cried, pulling him to her. ‘It wasn’t your fault, honey. None of it was your fault, and you mustn’t think it was. And you weren’t nasty to me, you were just confused – you wanted your mom, which is understandable, because she loves you very much and I know you love her too.’
His eyes continued to search hers, as though he were taking a while to digest what she was saying. Then he nodded and said, ‘I love Mummy.’
‘I know you do.’
‘And I love you.’
‘Oh, I love you too,’ she said and kissed him again. ‘You’re my big boy, my best boy. And this is my little boy, and my other best boy.’
He turned back to the baby. ‘Can he sleep in my room?’ he said.
‘When he gets a bit bigger, sure he can. And when you
get
fed up with him we’ll put him in the room Gran’s using now, shall we, because he might get in the way when your friends come over.’
‘Yes, he might,’ he agreed. ‘I think Spot will like him.’
‘Oh, I hope so,’ Ellen said.
‘So how are you doing in here?’ Michael said, coming back and sitting on the edge of the bed. ‘Did you say what you wanted to say?’ he asked Robbie.
Robbie nodded, and snuggled in closer to Ellen as Michael ruffled his hair. ‘So what do you think of the baby?’ Michael said.
‘He’s good,’ Robbie answered. ‘What’s his name?’
Michael and Ellen looked at each other. Then Ellen turned back to Robbie.
‘I know, why don’t you choose one?’ she suggested.
‘Steady on, remember the dog,’ Michael muttered under his breath.
‘Oh God,’ Ellen mumbled.
‘Shut up, Dad,’ Robbie said. ‘I’m not going to call him Spot.’
‘Oh, well there’s a relief,’ Michael commented. ‘So what do you want to call him?’
‘Ummm, I know, what about Mervin?’
‘
Mervin!
’ Michael cried in disgust. ‘I’m not calling him Mervin.’
Robbie turned to Ellen, who wrinkled her nose and gave a quick shake of her head.
‘I know,’ Robbie cried excitedly. ‘Why don’t we call him Derrick after the …’
‘I’m not calling him Derrick either,’ Michael declared.
Ellen leaned forward and whispered in Robbie’s ear.
‘Oh, yes, yes,’ Robbie responded, clapping his hands together. ‘Let’s call him … what?’ he said, twisting back round to Ellen.
Michael glared at Ellen. ‘This is cheating,’ he accused.
Ellen was laughing as she whispered again.
‘Galen?’ Robbie repeated in a whisper.
She nodded.
‘I never heard of that name,’ Robbie said.
‘Precisely. Whoever heard of such a ludicrous name,’ Michael agreed.
‘It’s Irish,’ Ellen said.
‘So’s Connor and that’s a much better name. Don’t you think?’ he said to Robbie.
Robbie looked at the baby, then up at Ellen.
‘Connor McCann,’ Michael said, pushing it home. ‘It’s got a great ring, don’t you think? Not like Galen McCann. That doesn’t work at all. They’ll call him Gay. Or Len.’
The baby farted.
Robbie burst out laughing.
‘See, even he agrees with me,’ Michael insisted.
Ellen was laughing too. ‘What do you think?’ she said to Robbie. ‘Galen or Connor?’
‘He’s going to say Galen to keep you happy,’ Michael protested. ‘Tell her you prefer Connor. It’s a good name.’
‘Do you prefer Connor?’ Ellen asked him quietly.
Robbie looked up at her. ‘I think so,’ he said.
She smiled. ‘Then Connor it is,’ she declared, and they all burst out laughing again as the baby let go a loud, healthy burp, as though to endorse his brother’s decision.
A little later in the day Michael’s and Ellen’s mothers came to collect their two grandsons, while Michael, though he desperately didn’t want to, returned to the office.
Since the shooting he’d barely seen anything of Ted Forgon, wasn’t sure if the man had sent Ellen any flowers, or even remembered that there was a baby involved. He couldn’t see Forgon concerning himself with such minutiae, but that was fine by Michael, as Ted Forgon was the last person he wanted getting into his family life. The question now, however, was how the hell to get him out of his professional life.