Taking What's His (Entangled Brazen) (13 page)

“Jesus, Lyd. What more do you want from me? A signed confession?”

She came closer. “Kiss me.”

“What?” He stumbled backward. “No way.”

“Prove to me that you can kiss me and not care.” She fisted his shirt and tugged him closer. “
Kiss me
.”

He shook his head, but didn’t speak. He wasn’t sure he trusted himself to. With an unsteady grip, he cupped her hips, his heart pounding in his ears.

Resting her hands on his chest, she pleaded with him. “Tell me this is some kind of heroic attempt to set me free, or some other ridiculous crap like you read in the romance books, or see in the movies.”

“It’s over, Lyd. It’s that simple.”

She nodded once. “Then kiss me. Prove you feel nothing. What will it hurt?”

Everything
. His heart twisted. She was fucking killing him. Why couldn’t she just leave already? Anger at himself, and at the whole fucking situation, hit him hard. He didn’t want to do this, but he was. And, yes, he knew that long distance relationships were a possibility, and that they could maybe make it.

But he knew nothing about love or relationships in the first place, and the last thing he wanted was a fucking long distance one hanging over his head. Or hers. He’d only hurt her in the end.

So he might as well do it now instead.

Cursing under his breath, he smashed his mouth to hers, forcing himself to keep his mind and heart detached.
Think of war. And pain. And all the death. Anything to stop your heart from warming even more under her soft touch.
After he counted to five, he ended the kiss and let go of her instantly, as if he couldn’t wait to move on.

As if he couldn’t wait to forget all about her.

Hell, he even ran the back of his hand across his mouth as he stepped back. “Life isn’t a fucking romance book, and it’s not a movie. It’s just cold, hard reality. And we’re
done
.”

“I…I’m…” She clutched her coat as if she clung to it for dear life. Her eyes filled with tears, and she nodded. Without finishing, she whirled on her heel, and she didn’t look back as she ran out of his house. He stood there, staring at the closed door. Alone.

He’d won. He’d sent her running so she could live out her life. Find a guy who didn’t have a history like him. Get married and have cute fucking babies with happy fucking smiles in a pretty fucking house in Delaware. And he’d be here. Alone.

Funny. That didn’t feel like winning to him.

Snarling, he picked up the crystal bowl that he’d found in the attic when he’d bought the place and chucked it at the closed door. It shattered into a million fragments. Next, he picked up the matching vase, which had nothing in it, and threw that, too.

It still wasn’t enough to dull the pain piercing his chest.

Chapter Sixteen

A week later, Lydia stood in the shadow of the trees, a glass of spiked punch in her hand and a sunhat shielding her face. It had been seven days since Holt had broken it off with her and she’d made a fool of herself in his living room. She’d been so sure he was making some sort of noble gesture to save her or something. That it had all been an act.

But then she’d seen the empty way he’d looked at her, and felt the passion missing from his kiss, and she’d realized how wrong she’d been. He didn’t care, and he never had. All those pretty words he’d said about caring about her, and wanting to take a chance on opening himself up to her, were a lie. Maybe he’d felt them at that moment. Maybe he’d thought they were true when he’d said them. But if they had been, they weren’t anymore.

Anything he’d felt for her was gone.

If he ever felt anything for you at all,
a small voice whispered in the back of her head.

Steven came up to her. They were at the house of a friend of his, a brother of a coworker or something along those lines. A small part of her had almost backed out when he’d told her it was a work friend, but she refused to cower inside her apartment in fear of seeing Holt, refused to avoid him because he’d broken her heart.

If he could forget about her and move on, so could she.

Her heart would be fine.

And if she happened to see him here, she’d lift her chin, smile coolly as if he hadn’t broken her, and act as if he was no one to her. Even if it killed her.

Besides, Gianna had come, too. So she had back up.

“Hey, come here,” Steven said, catching her elbow and dragging her along without waiting for her to reply. “I want to introduce you to someone.”

She followed him. “Oh. You’re talking to me again?”

“Yes. I still think you’re an idiot for not taking that job, but I get it. At least I know it’s not because of some guy now, since you’re not with him anymore. But I still think it’s a bad move.”

She tensed. “It never had anything to do with him. I wanted to stay here, with my family and friends. With
you
, you idiot.”

“I know that now.” He stopped walking. Awkwardly, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her. “I’m sorry that I acted the way I did, but I have something to make up for my bad behavior. A present, if you will.”

She pursed her lips. “It’ll make up for you not talking to me for seven days?”

“Don’t exaggerate.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’ been a week since—”

“Fine.” He sighed heavily. “It’s been six—I called you last night to invite you here, after all.”

“Whatever,” she murmured, scanning the crowd for Holt.

So far, he hadn’t shown his face, but she saw Gianna in the corner of the field, talking to one of Steven’s coworkers. His boss, Cooper, stood nearby, too, with his arm around his fiancée. They made quite the pair.

“Okay, smile pretty,” Steven muttered, leading her up to a group of four people. Two of them were obviously siblings, since they had the same exact shade of eyes and hair. The other two, she could only assume, were their significant others. “Tyler, this is my sister, Lydia. The one I told you about.”

“It’s lovely to meet you.” Tyler, it turned out, was the man on the left with dark hair and bright green eyes, and he was devastatingly handsome. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lydia said politely. “I can’t say the same. Do you work with my brother, too?”

“No, I don’t. I’m a doctor.”

Lydia froze. “O-Oh.”

The redhead next to him jabbed her elbow in his ribs. “Oh, and excuse me for my rude manners. This is my fiancée, Christine. Next to her is her brother Jake, who does work with Steven, and his girlfriend, Tara—who also works at Shillings Agency.”

Her head swam a little bit with all that information, but she forced a smile and nodded as if she’d actually kept track of who everyone was. “Nice to meet everyone,” Lydia said, smiling at the group.

“So, anyway, I hear you’re looking for a position.” He glanced at Steven, who smiled. “I happen to be looking for a good OR nurse. Think we could make an appointment to have a formal interview?”

This was the second time that her brother had hooked her up with a potential employer. It had to stop at some point. “I’m very happy to hear this, but please know I’m not in the habit of using my brother’s friends to land interviews.”

Tyler’s fiancée smiled. She was gorgeous, with red hair and blue eyes. “Oh, I like you even more now,” she said.

Tyler laughed. “If it helps, I’m not friends with your brother. I never met him until a few minutes ago.”

“Well, then, I’d love to chat. Especially since you’re not friends with my brother.” She shook hands with him, grinning when he laughed again. “May I ask one more question, then?”

“Sure,” Tyler agreed.

“Is this position in Maine?”

Tyler blinked. “Yes.”

Sold.
“Great. What day works best for you?”

The rest of the conversation passed quickly, and they settled on a time Monday morning to meet. After they’d changed topics to Jake and Tara—who had the most interesting story of how they fell in love—the hair on the back of her neck stood up.

She quickly found Gianna, who nodded once. It was official. Holt had joined the party. Lydia stood completely still, afraid to turn around. What if he looked at her with cool detachment, or looked resigned to see her, as if she was the one ex he couldn’t escape? What if he hated her now, because he couldn’t avoid her?

Even though she nodded and smiled her way through the conversation, she’d stopped listening. All of her senses were tuned into Holt, and his arrival at the party. Had he seen her yet? Would he say hello, or turn the other way?

Unable to stand another minute without knowing, she scanned the crowd…and found him. He stood with another man, talking, but he stared at her as if he’d seen a ghost or something equally horrifying. And his stare was anything but empty.

Oh my God.

He had bags under his eyes, as if he hadn’t been sleeping. And beneath the haunting pain she could see even from this far away, she saw a spark of life underneath—something that made her think, for a second, that he’d missed her as much as she’d missed him. But that was ridiculous.

He’d broken it off with her, after all.

They stared at each other from across the field, the distance seeming to disappear, and she felt as if she’d been punched in the chest. She’d thought she could stand there and act cold and casual? She’d been wrong. They might have only been together for a short time, but in that short time, she’d fallen for him. Legitimately, head over heels, truly fallen for him. And he’d wanted nothing to do with her.

Stop thinking he wants you. He doesn’t.
Shaking her head, she broke the eye contact and said, “I’m sorry, please excuse me. I have to go.”

“Are you okay?” Steven asked, his forehead wrinkled with concern.

“I’m f-fine,” she said quickly. A quick glance in Holt’s direction showed him making his way through the crowd, toward her, and she had a mild sense of déjà vu. Here she was, at another party with her brother, trying to escape the same man.

She’d been a fool for coming here.

Steven frowned. “But—”

“I’m
fine
.” Spinning on her heel, she took off for Gianna.

She’d only gotten halfway across the field before Holt caught up to her, grabbing her elbow and hauling her behind a tree. His simple touch hit her like an anvil. “Lydia, wait. Why the hell are you here?”

She spun on him, glowering. “Don’t touch me. Just leave me alone.”

“No.” His grip on her flexed, but then he let go. “We need to—”

“We don’t
need
to do anything.” She crossed her arms tightly, backing up a step. “I’m sorry I came and disrupted your party, but Steven invited me.”

“I’m not upset because you’re here. I’m upset because you’re
here
.”

She threw her hands up. “That makes no sense.”

“Yes. It does.” His nostrils flared. “You’re not supposed to be here. You were supposed to go. You’re supposed to be hours from here by now.”

“Where the hell was I supposed to go?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips. Over his shoulder, she saw Steven talking to Gianna. As they spoke, Gianna pointed at her and Holt, gesturing. “You know what? Never mind. Just go away. Steven is watching, and he’ll be on to us.”

“I don’t give a damn who the hell is watching us. Not anymore.”

“Typical man.” She snorted, gripping her forearms tightly. “Too little, too late.”

“Lydia.” He grabbed her hand, his touch faltering slightly. He looked so damn tormented, she couldn’t help but freeze. He looked so…so…
sad
. “Please.”

She swallowed hard, not pulling free. Steven was
really
studying them now. “What? What do you want, Holt?”

“What I want and what I can have are two different things,” he said. He caressed her cheek with his knuckles. “You weren’t supposed to
be
here.”

Her heart wrenched. Steven scowled, and he stalked over toward them. It was only a matter of time till he reached them. “I have to go. Steven’s coming over.”

“Fine. Let him come. Why aren’t you in Delaware?” he asked, his jaw ticking. “You had till five to accept the job, and Steven said you would.”

“
Steven
isn’t my voice,” she said. “If you wanted to know whether or not I accepted the position, you should have asked me.”

“Shit,” he said, paling and dragging a hand through his hair. “I was too late, wasn’t I? You’d already turned it down?”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, confused as all heck. “Too late for—wait a minute. How did you know about the job?”

“I…uh…” He floundered for words, and she forced herself to wait, even though she wanted to pounce on him and demand answers, to fill the words in for him. “Steven told me about it.”

She shoved his shoulders, rage making her see red. “You son of a bitch, you knew, didn’t you? You knew what I’d been offered, so you broke it off.”

“I—” He tugged on his collar. “Why didn’t you take the job?”

“Answer my question first.”

He shook his head, locking gazes with her. “No. You.”

“I’m leaving,” she snapped.

He cursed under his breath, caught her around the waist, and pressed her against a tree, cradling her the whole time to make sure the bark didn’t hurt her. “Damn it, Lyd,
yes
. Yes, I knew, and yes, I lied. I lied to you so you’d leave, but you didn’t do it. You stayed. Why did you stay?”

“I didn’t not take the job because of you, you pompous ass. I didn’t take it because I didn’t
want
to. It had nothing—I repeat,
nothing
—to do with you. And even if we’d stayed together, it still would have had nothing to do with you. I make my choices based on me, and me alone. Not a guy I’m sleeping with. Who do you think you are?”

“Lydia—”

“Don’t. Just don’t. You ruined everything. And you—”

Without giving her a chance to finish talking—and she had
so
much she wanted to say—his mouth punished hers with a harsh kiss.

It was as if everything he felt, and wanted to say, was in that kiss. And it hurt, emotionally, to feel it all. Because he’d let her think he didn’t care, when he did. Because he’d taken the beautiful thing they’d had, and ruined it. Because…because…

Because he was too late.