Talania - a Trip Down Memory Lane... (7 page)

“Oh. No. I. Did. Not.” I get out, wheezing through each chuckle.

“Oh yes baby, you did. The best part is coming up,” he says.

Drake is done pissing on Tristan’s leg because Tristan waves at the camera. “Ev, come here baby,” I lean towards him with the camera.

“You know I love you right? I could have died. I just wanted you to know I love you.”

I must fall to the sand stunned, because the camera and I flop backwards. It’s silent for a minute before my voice screeches again.

“You jackass! You just told me you loved me after your brother pissed on your leg!” I scream, picking up the camera and turning it off.

“I told you. You had a dirty mouth back then.” He winks at me.

“Uh, that’s not what I got from the video,” I whisper.

He loses his smile. “I know,” he whispers back.

We fall asleep watching more home videos from our first summer together.

I wake up stretching. I smell bacon and smile. I get up and walk towards the kitchen.

“Good morning,” a shirtless Tristan grins at me and I gulp.

Holy cow. Helloooooo ripped V and eight-pack abs. It is nice to meet you!

“Good morning,” I croak out.

“Want some bacon, eggs and toast?”

“That sounds yummy. We still have two videos left from the first summer. I would like to watch them.” I bite into my first piece of bacon.

“Okay,” he says sadly.

“Is something wrong?”

“No,” he says as he shakes his head. “The first one is when we finally get together and the second is when we’re saying goodbye until Thanksgiving.” He shrugs.

“Oh, I can watch them by myself if you want me to,” I add.

“No, no it’s not like that. Having you back, Ev is like a double miracle. You know, you survived cancer AND you came back to me, to us,” he says.

“We were that good together?” I ask, taking a bite of my eggs.

“The best. We still have two more summers and holidays to get through. I haven’t even mentioned photo albums and memorabilia yet, so yeah, we were that good together.” He grabs my plate and walks it to the living room. “Well come on Ev, we’re gonna do this thing.” He gestures towards the couch.

I giggle and prance over to the couch. “Thank you,” I whisper as he hands me my plate of food so I can continue to eat.

This man can cook!

“No problem babe.” I can tell he means it.

He puts DVD number twenty-three in, sits back and pushes play.

My young face appears on the camera.

“So things with Tristan and I are getting very confusing. We hold hands and we touch, but I don’t understand what we are? I wish I knew. Can you be in love at fourteen? I don’t know if you can, but I think I love him. I mean, when I think about going home in a week, my heart literally aches knowing I will not see him again until Thanksgiving break. Sure, there’s the phone and texting and stuff, but what are we?” I sigh into my camera. I can tell I am sitting on a dock of some sort. A throat clears in the background and I swing the camera to the sound of Tristan’s voice.

“You know what I think?” He says. “I think I hold your hand and touch you every chance I get because I love you too. I believe you can be in love at fourteen and fifteen. And I’m going to miss you like fucking crazy until I see you again at Thanksgiving break.” He strolls up to the camera. “So this is documented because my crazy girl loves filming everything. It is August 12, 2005; the day I told this crazy girl I love her. ” He takes the camera from my hands, places it on the dock railing, pointing it towards me, and then strolls over to me.

“I love you,” he says before pressing his lips to mine. The kiss looks magical. I wish I could remember it. The kiss goes on forever before we pull apart and words come out of my mouth. “I love you too.”

The camera shuts off and I find myself tracing my lips.

“Wow,” I breathe, tears streaming down my face. “I can’t remember my first kiss. I can’t remember anything.” I take off running towards the bathroom.

Tristan knocks on the door. I open it because I know he is worried. What I find breaks my heart even worse. He looks devastated. His eyes are rimmed with red. That’s when it hits me hard.

“Can you give it back to me?”

He cocks his head, looking confused.

“Can you give my first kiss back to me? You know, let me relive it so that I can keep it this time?” I whisper.

He doesn’t answer; he just pushes off the doorframe and strolls over to me, pressing his lips to mine. Tears are streaming down both of our faces. His tongue flicks my bottom lip and I moan, opening up for him. He slides it in and I whimper. Fireworks are going off in my head. My body is on fire. I am grasping his arms tightly like I did in the home video. It’s a hungry kiss that goes on forever.

I pull back, breathless. “Thank you,” I pant.

He rubs our noses together, sighing.

“I’m sorry I can’t remember.” I feel like I have to keep apologizing to this man. Apparently, he still loves me and always has.

“You’re here and you’re alive,” he whispers, his lips grazing mine.

“I’m here,” I whisper back.

A throat clears in the hallway beside us. I turn to see Drake and something in me snaps. I push away from Tristan and run towards him. I hug him tightly. “I can’t remember, but Tristan is showing me,” I whisper into his chest.

“It’s okay Sunshine. It’s really okay,” he croaks. I pull away.

“Don’t cry Drake,” I wipe the lone tear from his eye and wipe mine too.

“I forgot my phone charger. I am going to head back out. You two need this time.” He nods toward his brother.

“He’s leaving because of me?” I turn around and ask Tristan.

“Oh no, it’s not like that babe. He just wants us to have space while we go down memory lane,” he says and smiles.

“But he’s on memory lane too,” I say, confused.

“Yes, but our memory lane is more intense. He is just giving us privacy babe. ” Tristan takes my hand, dragging me back to the living room.

“Okay, sit. We have one more video of our first summer, and then you can shower and we can start on the holidays leading up to our second summer. Sound good?” He pulls me into his lap on the couch. Oddly enough, it feels right.

I run my fingers through his hair and it feels familiar. So many things about Tristan feel familiar. I am thankful to be alive. Thankful I beat cancer, but I am also still angry for losing so much.

While lost in my thoughts and gazing off into space, Tristan pushes play.

“Okay, so this is us three saying goodbye for three months. Gah!” My voice whines in the camera, causing me to laugh. “Drake, come give me some sugar before you start walking away! Yes, I am talking to you. Stupid boy thought he could get away without saying goodbye.” I shake my head in front of the camera.

“Sunshine, I don’t want to say goodbye, damn it!” Drake whines in the camera.

“You don’t want to say goodbye to your Sunshine?” I ask in mock horror to the camera, making Drake laugh.

“C’mon, give me a hug Sunshine.” The camera moves in and out of focus. “Love you Sunshine.”

“Love you too Stupid boy.”

“Wow, that shit’s rough watching,” Drake clears his throat.

Tristan pauses the DVD and I look down at my hands, mumbling stupid boy. I look up at Tristan then to Drake and smile.

“Come here Stupid boy, give Sunshine a hug goodbye,” I gesture with my hands.

“No more goodbyes Sunshine, only hellos, but I will give you a hug.” He walks over to me and squeezes me tightly.

“It’s good to have you back Sunshine,” he whispers into my hair.

“I’m thinking it’s good to have some of my memories back Stupid boy,” I mock, letting him go.

“Alright you guys, have fun. Call if you need anything,” Drake says as he waves and walks out.

I watch as they embrace and my heart pounds. So far, so good. I let out a breath.

“It’s good to have you back Sunshine,” he whispers into her hair.

“I’m thinking it’s good to have some of my memories back Stupid boy,” she mocks before letting him go.

“Alright you guys, have fun. Call if you need anything,” he says as he waves and walks out.

“So you ready to watch us leave?” I whisper.

“I think I’m ready. Is it sad?”

“I think it’s more bittersweet,” I say as I hit play.

Drake walks away from her camera.

And this is when my heart pounds out of my chest for real, because I know what I’m about to do.

“So I have no idea what’s taking Tristan so long,” she sighs into the camera. “He knows I have to leave soon. Wait! Is that a guitar?” She asks the camera. I come onto the screen playing ‘Don’t Take the Girl’ with my guitar. I serenade her with my awesome fucking voice and guitar skills. “Tristan baby, I love that song, but your voice is made for rock music.” She giggles into the camera. “But I am glad I got it on film.” She films me sitting the guitar on the dock.

“Ev, promise me, promise me, we’ll talk every day and you won’t forget me.” My voice cracks.

“How could I forget you, my own personal ogler? Three months Trist, we can do it. And you have to hunt down band members so you won’t miss me that much.” She laughs.