Talk Me Down (14 page)

“I haven’t looked you up, asshole. If I want to know how many people you’ve shot or how many tourists you’ve pulled out of the river, I’ll ask you.”

“And I’d tell you!”

“That would be your choice.
Your
choice. Leave me mine, Ben, please. When I said…” She shivered again and Ben, cursing, took off his coat and threw it around her shoulders. She hugged his warmth to her and swallowed back the tears it thawed. “When I said you didn’t have a right to anything, I just meant I wanted you to respect
my
rights.

“You knew me when I was child, but I have a whole life now and reasons for how I live. Can’t you show some respect for that?”

He stared at her, still cool, still silent, but he was closer now and she could see the tension around his eyes, the slight tic in his jaw. Hands on hips, he dropped his head and stared at the floor.

Molly wrapped his uniform coat tighter around her, breathing in the smell of worn leather and Ben’s soap. He’d had enough. She’d known it was coming, had even told him so. But, God, she just wanted a little more pleasure before they became polite neighbors. Just a little more undiluted Ben.

He sighed, a great heaving of his shoulders, and raised weary eyes to meet hers.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but she didn’t know what he meant. Sorry for what he’d done or sorry he had to end it? Molly felt as though she might pass out and bounce down the last two stairs.

Ben rolled his shoulders as if an ache had settled there. “The secrecy has been eating at me and I stepped over the line. I apologize.”

“Really?” she sniffed. She was trying to hold back her tears because she didn’t even know why she was crying, but the more she tried to hold them back, the more teardrops rolled into her nose. She didn’t want to cry, but she also didn’t want to drip liquid out of her nostrils. She sniffed again, harder.

“Molly, no,” Ben said, stepping closer. His hands framed her face and when she tried to wipe her nose, his arm was in the way.

“My nose is running!” she wailed.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. I’m naked and snotty!” She finally managed to knock his hand away to swipe at her nose, but she’d forgotten she was wearing his coat. Oops.

“If I get you a tissue, will you stop crying?” Instead of waiting for an answer, he darted toward the kitchen, reappearing within two seconds with a giant wad of paper towels, which he immediately thrust into her hands.

Molly crushed the whole thing to her nose, then dabbed delicately at the arm of his coat. “Sorry.”

“Don’t cry.”

“I’m just…I don’t know. It’s late.”

“You want me to go?”

His words brought another rush of tears and Molly swiped futilely at her nose. “Do you want to go?”

Ben shook his head, eyebrows arched at an incredulous angle. “No, despite all my big words. Apparently I’m an idiot with no pride and very little self-control, because all I really want to do is hustle you back upstairs and throw some more wood on the fire.”

She managed to look indifferent instead of victorious. “You haven’t had your snack yet.”

“I seem to have lost my appetite. But I will join you in a cup of wine if you’re willing to share.”

Molly finally let herself smile, but just a little. He had conceded only temporarily. This would be over soon. She was damn sure going to enjoy it now.

“I’ll share with you,” she said as she turned to go back upstairs. “The cups are above the dishwasher. Meet you in the bedroom?”

By the time she’d snuggled back under the covers, she heard Ben’s footsteps on the stairs. He entered with two juice glasses filled to the rim with white wine.

“Your, uh,
box
is almost empty, fancy pants.”

“There’s another box in the pantry. And I’m not wearing any pants.”

“Yes, I seem to recall that,” he drawled as he sat on the bed next to her and handed her one cup.

“So…Is this a truce?”

Ben tapped his cup against hers and raised it in a quick salute. “Truce. I’ll leave it, Moll, but only for a little while. At some point you’ll have to decide—me or your secrets. I can’t offer more than that.”

“I never expected otherwise.”

They both sipped quietly until the tension in the room began to soften and melt.

“Let me get you something to eat,” Molly offered, but he shook his head.

“I’m tired. I just want to get some sleep.”

“Really?”

Her alarm must have been crystal clear, because Ben chuckled. “No, not really. I was just looking for an excuse to take off these clothes and join you.”

“An excuse, huh? Hey, I’ve got an idea! How about we have sex?”

“Darlin’, you’re a genius.”

He was half-undressed before ten seconds had passed, though he had to sit back down to tug off the boots. “Condoms. I want to be prepared this time.”

“Just like a Boy Scout!” She pointed at the table next to his leg, and he tugged it open.

Though he started to reach in, his hand jerked back at the last moment. “What the hell is that?”

Molly rose up on her knees to look over his naked shoulder. “Oh, that’s Little Blue.”

“It’s not so damn little.”

“Well…no. That would be kind of silly, wouldn’t it.”

He poked a finger gingerly at the sex toy, setting it rocking side to side. “So…You, um, use that thing?”

“I’m afraid so.” Her face was growing warmer by the second, so Molly pointed at the box of condoms. “Just get the protection. The board meeting’s starting in two minutes.”

“Mmm.” But he just looked down at the open drawer, then looked at her and back down again. “Can I watch?”

“
Watch?
Watch what?”

He reached in and picked up the vibrator, saying, “Never mind,” but when he turned to her his grin was wide and wicked. “I’m not big on just watching.”

His thumb nudged one of the buttons and the toy buzzed to life. Ben’s eyebrows twitched in surprise, but the grin didn’t budge.

“Lie down, Molly. All work and no play makes Ben a dull boy.”

“Wait a second, you pervert!” Her squeals of laughter faded quickly into a gasp and even more quickly into helpless moans as Ben tried out different angles and settings, thoroughly concentrating on the task at hand.

Molly’s last coherent thought was that it was always the quiet men who surprised you. And Ben had clearly been living years in absolute silence.

An opportunity had seemed to present itself soon after they’d gone in. Apparently the sex had been quick and dirty, because the front door had opened before half an hour had passed, the edge of it just visible from the blackness of the big mugo pine at the edge of Molly’s property.

A shadow had moved in the light that spilled from the entryway. Voices drifted across the dying lawn, not quite audible, but edged with anger or distress. The sex was done and they were sick of each other, it seemed.

If Ben Lawson had left then, there’d have been the whole night to explore that bitch’s house, decide on the best way to spook her, chase her away. But the door had closed, muffling the voices inside. Eventually the whole house had gone dark.

But that was fine. He would leave tonight or in the morning, and then Molly would be alone again. Vulnerable.

The coyote howling on the other side of the ridge seemed to take joy in the idea. Then a whole pack sent their voices up to the cold night, a warning of danger that Molly Jennings wouldn’t even recognize.

He was.

Molly had been right. He’d been sneaky and underhanded, obsessed with her secrets. The information she was willing to give him might not be what he wanted, but she’d been honest about it from the start. Sure, she’d lied about the ex-boyfriend, but she hadn’t been involved with Ben at the time, hadn’t been anything but an old acquaintance.

If he wanted this relationship to go somewhere, Ben needed to back off. So did he want it to go somewhere?

Concentrating on his shaving, he tried not to meet his own gaze, but the tactic didn’t work. There was no denying his feelings. He was halfway in love with a woman he knew nothing about.

Except that he did know her. Knew her past, who she’d been born and raised to be, knew her parents and friends. He knew the honesty in her eyes and the truth in her passion. But it just wasn’t enough.

He needed more from her, and she’d never trust him and share her secrets if he didn’t give her space. Maybe he’d leave her alone for a couple of days. Send some flowers like a normal man.

But when the phone rang while he was wiping the last of the shaving cream from his face, her name popped up on the ID screen, and Ben knew he wouldn’t leave her alone for more than twelve hours. Just the fact that she was calling sent his heart into overdrive.

“Good morning,” he answered, trying to keep the thrill out of his tone. “Are you finally up?”

“Hey,” she said, and that one cautious word made the hair on his neck stand up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“When you left this morning, did you go out the back door?”

“No, why?”

“My back door is open.”

“Are you sure it was locked?”

“No, I mean it’s
open,
did you—?”

“I was in the kitchen this morning, Moll, and it was closed. Where are you?”

“In the front hallway.”

“Okay, put on a coat and wait for me on the front porch, all right? If you’re scared, go to a neighbor’s house. I’ll be right there.”

Ben tried hard not to panic as he threw on clothes and his gun belt and sprinted out of the house. Déjà vu, but last time had turned out just fine. Nothing dangerous or sinister. And this time…She’d probably left the door unlatched and the wind had simply blown it open. He’d left only an hour before, and it was a bright, sunny morning. Molly was fine.

Still, he hit the lights before starting the truck, and had it in gear before he’d even slammed the door. Thirty seconds. Sixty. Ben turned off his street, drove one block down Main and took a hard right onto Molly’s street. Two minutes flat and he was screeching to a halt and jumping out.

Molly stood up from her front steps, arms wrapped around her middle, face pale.

“Are you okay?” he demanded from halfway across the lawn.

“I’m fine, just freaked out.”

“Did you see or hear anything inside?”

“Nothing.”

Ben radioed the station and got through to James to explain the situation. He wouldn’t need backup unless he found something suspicious, but it wasn’t smart to enter a situation without touching base first.

After making Molly promise to stay on the porch, Ben drew his gun and started his walk-through. Second floor, then the first and finally the basement. No one inside, nothing suspicious and the lock on the back door looked clean as a whistle. He opened the front door and waved her in.

“Is there anything missing?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“I want you to take a careful look around and let me know.”

He stayed with her as she studied each room. When they reached the dining room, Ben took his own time looking around. This was her office, uncluttered, yet still slightly messy with pens and sticky notes and a few books. A big armoire stood off to one side, but when he quietly tried the door it was locked. Two massive bookshelves held tons of paperbacks and a few thick hardcovers. The laptop sat open and dark on top of a small desk.

Seated at the desk, Molly looked up at him with troubled eyes. “Did you look through my desk this morning?”

“Of course not.”

“Sorry, I just…This bottom drawer was a little open.”

“Anything missing?”

“Nope. It’s just a few files and some printer paper.”

Ben moved closer and tried the top drawer. “This one’s still locked.”

“It’s always locked, otherwise it slides open.”

“So maybe the other slid open, too.”

“Maybe. But my laptop…when I turn it off, I close it. You didn’t open it?”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

She shot him a doubtful look.

“I didn’t look through your things! What is going on here? I’m trying not to pry, Molly, but you’re going to have to be honest and tell me why someone would want to break in and search through your desk.”

“I don’t know!”

“What do you do and who exactly knows about it?”

“This has nothing to do with my work. No one knows what I do. No one but the person I report to.”

Ben ran both hands through his hair in frustration. “If you’re involved in something dangerous, you have to tell me. I am not screwing around this time. This isn’t a game.”

“Listen to me. I am not a spy or a cop or…whatever you’ve got in that head of yours. I’m self-employed in a completely danger-free profession. Even my family doesn’t know what I do. This is
not
about my work.”

He had no choice but to believe her, so he dropped it and moved on. “Did you change your locks when you moved in?”

Her eyes widened in shocked realization. “I didn’t.”

“Okay, that’s the first thing to do. I’ll call Carl and have him come out with some good quality locks. And dead bolts. They’re only usable when you’re in the home, but I’m more concerned about your safety than your property. Next, you need to make arrangements for an alarm system, but that could take a little while. Call the—”

“Whoa, there. I’m not ready to burrow underground just yet. Of course I should have had my locks changed. For all I know my aunt has given out keys to every repairman and delivery boy in the county. I’ll have the locks changed, have dead bolts installed and we’ll take it from there.”

“And see if you’re raped or killed before we move forward?”

She yelled, “Freak out much?” and Ben realized he was scaring her, probably because he was scared himself.

Molly took a deep breath and stood, holding up her hands. “If I were a normal, everyday citizen you weren’t sleeping with, what would you advise?”

He thought about guns and attack dogs, bars on the windows, motion detectors, video cameras at every door, but if he mentioned those ideas there was a chance she’d see through to the overreaction beneath. Being a disciple of logic, in the end Ben surrendered to it. “Change your locks.”

“Anything else?”

“If you have a reason to be particularly concerned, you might consider getting a security system.”

“But?” She raised one eyebrow and tapped her foot.

Shit. This honesty of his really was a problem. “But it’s probably some kid looking for a credit card or a bank account number.”

Her shoulders fell, slumping with relief. “Okay. Thank you. And I’m sorry I keep panicking and calling you and—”

“First of all, it’s my job. Second, give me a fucking break, Moll. Now, listen. This is a small town, but it’s not the same small town you grew up in. Things have changed in the world. Methamphetamines, Internet porn, prescription drugs. These are huge problems in rural America right now. We haven’t had big trouble here, but I’ve had to be vigilant.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful. Really. Haven’t I panicked at every given opportunity?”

“Yeah, so keep it up. It makes me feel big and useful.”

She finally cracked a smile. “Good. But…” The smile turned a little sickly.

“What is it?”

“I was just thinking…if it was just a thief, they probably would’ve taken my laptop.”

Ben had been thinking the same thing, but despite his earlier panic, he didn’t want her living in complete fear. And as a cop, he knew bad things could happen, but he also knew that the simplest explanation for a crime was almost always the right one.

“If I put on my ‘boyfriend who’s not really dating you’ hat, I’d say that it’s weird. But I put on my cop hat at your insistence, and my cop hat says that laptops aren’t exactly easy to unload up here and you probably came downstairs and surprised him before he could think straight. That’s why the door was open. He left in a hurry.” He glanced at the little clock on her desk. “You usually don’t get up until, what? Ten? Twelve?”

“Nine! Sometimes. And I’m getting better.”

“Regardless, anyone who’s been paying attention would know you’re not an early riser, and anyone watching would know when I’d left.”

“Okay, so…Call Carl.”

“Call Carl. I’m going to file a report. Why don’t you come to the station with me? Just for a little while.”

He wasn’t happy when she shook her head. He couldn’t exactly drag her around in his truck through his whole shift, but it seemed impossible that he’d just leave her here alone for eight hours.

He glanced at his watch. “I’ll be back in about forty-five minutes to dust for prints around the back door and your laptop.”

“Oh, that’s good. I didn’t think the police usually did that for something so minor.”

“Not usually, but I don’t like this pattern. I’ll take prints just in case.”

“Thanks, Ben.”

Done with being a cop, he reached for her and pulled her into his arms. “Are you okay?” He breathed in the sweet citrus scent of her hair. “Really okay?”

“I think so.” Her body slowly relaxed into his, her arms snuck under his coat to tighten around his waist.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

She sighed, “Me, too,” and nuzzled her mouth against his neck.

“Why don’t I trade shifts with Frank today? We can go to Grand Valley. Have lunch. Act like normal people.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think anyone would buy it.”

“I would.”

When she leaned back, Ben thought she was pulling away, but instead she framed his face with her hands and tugged him down for a kiss. He gladly gave her one, kissing her until she pulled away with a loud sigh.

“I’d love to spend the day with you, but I’m going to lose a lot of time this morning what with the pacing around, waiting for the locksmith, wondering if I was safer in the big city…So this afternoon…I’ll have to…you know.”

“Work.” He made very sure to sound neutral.

“Yes. But maybe tomorrow? Are you working?”

Yesterday he would’ve given her a hard time, but today he was being reasonable, mature. “I’m off tomorrow. How about we go out for dinner and a movie?”

She narrowed her eyes and frowned.

“I won’t call it a date.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“That old movie theater’s still open?”

“Still showing only the best of the month-old movies.”

She looked him over, measuring him before she smiled and nodded. “Yes, I’ll go to dinner and a non-date movie with you.”

Pulling her back into his body, Ben leaned in to kiss her neck just below her ear. “I’ll bring condoms,” he whispered, just to make her shiver against him. “You bring your blue friend.”

“Ohmigod,” she laughed, pressing her palms hard to his chest to shove him away. “Shut up.”

“What? I might need backup. You’re kind of an insatiable beast once you get going.”

“Shut
up.
” The blush bloomed over her cheeks, spreading in a slow stain of rose pink until Ben had to kiss her again.

He moved his lips to her jaw and worked his way back to her ear. “I think there’s really a good girl underneath all that naughtiness.”

“Dream on.”

After pressing a quick kiss to her nose, Ben turned and headed for the front door before she made him forget he had a job. Plus he didn’t want half the police force breaking down the door to rescue him when he failed to report for duty. And after the past week, he had no doubt that was exactly what would happen.