Talk Me Down (19 page)

“So we’re okay?” she asked.

He wanted to say no. No, of course they weren’t okay. She didn’t trust him any more than she trusted anyone. She was still keeping secrets, revealing things only when forced to, hiding behind a wall of humor and distance.

But he couldn’t say that when she looked at him with those lonely eyes. “We’re okay,” he said instead and resisted the need to gather her in his arms and hold her. “So tell me everything.”

Of course she didn’t. But she told him a little.

Ben called Kasten’s superior officer to confirm what he could, and then they were right back where they started: uncertain, possibly in danger, and soon enough, back in bed.

She should have told him everything from the start, then they could have eased into a relationship with all the cards on the table. But they hadn’t, and now she was in love, and she didn’t know where to go from there.

She’d never been in love before. Never. And now there was a very good chance she’d have her heart broken before she even got a chance to enjoy the little pink stars floating above her head.

In the four days since Cameron had invaded Tumble Creek, Molly had buried herself in her work in an attempt to avoid making a decision. And she did have to make a decision, she knew that. She just couldn’t bear it. She’d either have to break it off with Ben or tell him the truth. And if she told the truth and he turned his back on her…oh, that was going to hurt like hell.

Her stomach hurt just the way it used to when she’d been a kid and her brother had—once again—gotten the highest GPA in his class. Molly knew now that she had been smart enough to make any parent proud…any parents but her own anyway. But she’d been a girl, and both her parents had been raised on ranches where girls were expected to be useful. So her modest intelligence had never compensated for her innate silliness. Her time on the debate team and her interest in the arts had been nothing more than a waste of time. Her sense of humor and love of reading and night-owl hours had been a constant irritation to her mom and dad.

Quinn was the smart one—the really smart one. The one whose studying was offset by a healthy dose of athleticism and seriousness. Molly had just been…not what they’d wanted in a daughter. Flighty, too loud, messy, always asking for attention. Not a girl who’d make a good, hard-working wife and mother. Not good enough.

Just like she wasn’t good enough for Ben. She was flighty, too loud and really good at creating a mess that would draw attention. And it hurt just as much as it had when she was younger. But the hope…the hope that he’d be proud was still there, too. And that was worse.

She needed to tell him the truth, and it scared the devil out of her, so she just kept writing and pretending that everything was fine.

At least on that front, everything
was
fine. She’d finished
The Wicked West
and sent it off. It was done, and it was good, and that was something to be proud of. So she had talked Lori into driving to Grand Valley for dinner and a late movie, but not before Molly stopped by Ben’s office for a farewell kiss.

After carefully locking her house, Molly clomped down the hill in her favorite stacked-heel leather boots and her hottest pair of jeans. She was an award-winning writer, an expert at erotic titillation and a master at turning on one stuffy police chief; she deserved a hot night out on the town with her girlfriend. After tugging open the heavy door of the police station, she sashayed in with a grin on her face. And ran smack into the wall of ice that was Brenda Hamilton.

Ouch.

“Hi, Brenda.”

The woman’s lowered eyebrows sent a message of thick, dark hatred. “Ms. Jennings.”

“Is the chief in?”

“He’s busy. If you’d care to leave a message, I’d be pleased to convey it.” Pleased as a serial killer bent on torture, if the tone of her voice was any indication.

“Brenda, I’m really sorry about that scene the other day. I’m sure Ben’s already told you, but the truth is that Cameron and I were over a long time ago and he’s been causing me some problems. I’m sorry it boiled over here in your office.”

Instead of answering, she swept a cold look over Molly’s outfit, ending with a pointed sneer at her boots.

Molly sighed and shrugged. “Look, if I could just see Ben for a minute—”

“Chief Lawson is busy. Perhaps you don’t understand the meaning of a good, honest day’s work, but he does. So either leave your message or get out of my—”

“Brenda,”
Ben’s voice rang out, startling both women into a little jump.

“Chief,” Brenda wheezed, but she quickly recovered herself. “I was just explaining to Ms. Jennings that you were on the phone with the State Police and couldn’t be disturbed.”

Using some of that discretion no one seemed to think her capable of, Molly kept her thoughts to herself, and Ben proved that he didn’t need her help. He looked straight at Brenda with his cold cop eyes and didn’t show a flicker of sympathy.

“Brenda, your shift is now officially over. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“But—”

“Tomorrow. Shut down and go home.”

Brenda’s face reddened to a mottled crimson. “Fine. But that girl is nothing but trash and everyone knows it. They’re laughing at you, Chief.”

Though his face was quickly approaching the same shade as Brenda’s, Ben’s voice held its cool tone. “Out. And don’t come in tomorrow if you can’t keep your professional behavior elevated above your personal bias. Is that clear?”

Brenda’s muttered “yes” belied the pure fury on her face, but she stood and rushed into the hallway toward one of the back rooms.

Ben took Molly’s arm and led her in the other direction, out the office door into the cool evening air.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” she started, but he jerked back as if she’d smacked him.

“No,
I’m
sorry. Christ, that was terrible and completely uncalled for.”

“Oh, not completely,” she laughed, though her insides trembled just a little with adrenaline.

“Molly,” he said, his mouth a flat line. “I’m pissed at her on a personal level, but more than that, I’m furious as her employer. That was unprofessional and unkind.”

“Well, I am a citizen of this town.”

“Exactly.”

Okay, she’d been kidding about that, but the man took his job seriously.

“I’m sorry, Moll. Not a nice start to your evening. Are you on your way to Lori’s?”

“Yep. She says my car is ready, but she wants to do a longer test drive to be sure, so we’re taking her truck.”

“Good.” His eyes stayed on the station door. “There might be a few flurries tonight. Be careful.”

“Okay.”

“She’ll drop you off here?”

Molly lost her patience with discretion. “Ben, I think Brenda’s in love with you,” she blurted.

That got his attention. “What?” His wide-eyed gaze collided with hers.

“She’s in love with you.”

“She is not!”

Rolling her eyes, Molly considered, not for the first time in her life, that men were truly dense creatures. “Brenda has been very strange to me since the first minute I moved back to town, and now she’s practically frothing at the mouth. She’s jealous.”

Ben was shaking his head through her whole speech. “No, Brenda and I are friends. She thinks she’s looking out for me, that’s all.”

“Put on your police cap,” she whispered when the station door opened. Brenda, bundled up in a long down coat and thick cap, hurried out. Her head jerked back a little when she saw them standing a few feet away, but she kept moving, veering away to rush down the sidewalk toward her small house. Ben stared after her.

Molly leaned in a little closer. “It could be Brenda,” she ventured, expecting him to shoot the idea down.

He watched as Brenda disappeared around the corner, her long coat flapping ungracefully in her wake. “Her prints are in the system. I would’ve gotten a hit.”

“She works at a police station, Ben. I’m sure she’d know to wear gloves.”

He turned troubled eyes back to Molly. “It can’t be Brenda. Actually, I’ve been thinking about Miles again. Maybe he’s gone over the edge. Maybe he’s trying to create his own stories now.”

She waved his idea away. “You want it to be Miles because you hate him. It’s clearly Brenda.”

“No way. I’ve known her my whole life. And she’s not in love with me!”

“Why else would she hate me?”

“Don’t women have little tiffs like that all the time?”

“I barely even know her!” Molly insisted. “Just think about it, okay?”

“I’ll look into it, but it seems highly unlikely. That first night, you said it was a man you saw on the hill, not a woman.”

She crinkled her nose at his logic. “Well, not to be rude, but Brenda is a tiny bit, um, stocky. I wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley, especially in her current mood.”

“I’ll try to keep an open mind,” he promised, running a hand through already mussed hair. “I’ll check her schedule for the past month and try to recall any suspicious actions. But she’s not in love with me.”

“Uh-huh. I make dinner for random men all the time. ’Cause that’s normal.”

“Isn’t it time for you to get over to Lori’s?”

“Aw, you’re blushing. I can’t imagine Brenda’s the only woman in this town with a serious case of unrequited love for you. Man in uniform. Stoic loneliness. Steady strength. You’re a thirtysomething’s wet dream, Chief Lawson. Hey…” She got up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “You haven’t been picking any other women up with those big, strong arms, have you? Because, personally,
I’d
kill for that.”

“No.”

She dropped back down and gave him a suspect look. “You’re sure you haven’t slept with anyone else? That Jennifer who manages the grocery store is pretty cute.”

“Well, that
is
all it takes.”

“Exactly.”

Done with her, Ben crossed his arms and narrowed his gaze. “Have fun with your girlfriend tonight. I’ll see you around eleven.”

She made sure to give her ass some extra sway as she twirled around and stepped past his truck and into the street.

“Molly,” he said almost immediately.

Her grin gave away her self-satisfaction when she turned back around. Ben stepped off the curb and took a few slow steps toward her. His finger brushed her chin and sent little sparks skittering down her neck.

“Don’t talk to any boys.”

“Mmm. If I do, are you gonna spank me?”

That chased the worry from his brown eyes and made them glitter as his eyelids dipped low enough to make her melt. The edge of his index finger returned to stroke the skin just under her jaw. “As long as you’re good I won’t have to.”

“But you know how much trouble I have being good.”

He tilted her chin up, feathered a tiny kiss over her bottom lip. “I do.”

Molly shivered when he let her go, wondering if she’d be able to make it across the street without stumbling. He sounded as dangerous as her dark sheriff, and all the hours she’d spent on that story had left her feeling edgy and on fire.

“Try to be good now, Molly girl,” he murmured, and she vowed to talk to as many boys as she could find.

“Well, how the hell am I supposed to help you with no details?”

“You’ve got the info you need. Secret career that Ben won’t like. Nothing illegal or immoral. How should I tell him?”

Lori took her hand off the wheel long enough to wave it around. “That’s not information. I need some good stuff here.”

“Nope. Sorry. It doesn’t matter anyway,” she sighed. “I know I just need to tell him straight out and I don’t want to.”

“If there’s nothing wrong with it then he’s not going to break it off. Why are you worried?”

“It’s sort of tailor-made to fit neatly into all his issues. Privacy. Fear of sexual scandal—”

“What do you
do,
you little hussy?”

“I mean, I guess if I worked for the
National Enquirer
that would be worse, but…”

“Ugh,” Lori groaned. “Just tell him already, so you can tell me.”

“Good Lord, you’re the soul of selflessness, you know that?”

“Yeah. Hey!” Lori perked up. “Did I tell you that Juan ran out of gas about thirty minutes south of town yesterday?”

“No, but that
is
fascinating tow-truck-driver gossip.”

Lori snorted as they bounced over a dip in the road. “Bite your tongue, girl. The interesting part is who he was with when he ran out of gas.”

“Who?”

“Helen!” she shrieked, already laughing.

“Nuh-uh. Are you serious?”

“Oh, my God, you should have seen Helen’s face when I pulled up. She actually tried to slouch into the hood of her coat so I wouldn’t see her. And poor Juan looked like he was going to cry from embarrassment that he’d run out of gas on their date.”

Molly gasped. “Did he call it a date?”

“No, but he was wearing nice pants and a button-down shirt and it was nine o’clock. I’m thinking Helen didn’t want to go to Grand Valley, so they went to that lodge restaurant down in the canyon.”

“Good for her! Helen’s getting her groove back.”

“Let’s take her to The Bar this weekend and get all the details. I live vicariously through others.”

Molly slanted a look at her friend. “I thought that waiter was giving you the eye.”

“He was nineteen if he was a day.”

“But he had big hands, did you notice?”

“Maybe,” Lori muttered.

“Not as big as Ben’s,” Molly added just to be cruel, and Lori groaned as if she were being roasted over a pit fire. “Has it really been that long?”

“Sooo…” her friend crooned, tossing her curls a little as she shook off the question. “You really think the stalker could be Brenda?”

“Maybe. So either you’re a virgin—” she elbowed Lori in the arm “—or you had sex recently with someone totally inappropriate. Which is it?”

“I’m pure as the driven snow.”

“Oh, my God, who was it? Was it Aaron?”

“No! It’s no one you know and it was months ago anyway. But you could be right about Brenda. That woman’s wound tighter than a…well, you don’t know what a valve spring is, but trust me. And her mother is a judgmental old biddy and Brenda lives with her. That’d be enough to drive anyone to desperation.”

“Ben’s doubtful.”

“He’s a man and she’s female. Plus he wouldn’t like to think he’d been deceived so thoroughly.”

Molly winced at that. Yeah, that would really hit him where it hurt.

As they began to ease into the lights of Tumble Creek, Lori sent her a worried glance. “I’m not taking you to your house, am I? You’re still staying with Ben?”

“Until I tell him the truth and he kicks me out. Another good reason to put it off for a few more days. If you’ll drop me at the station, he should still be there.”

“Look, Molly, I was just kidding about needing to know everything. You don’t have to tell me, but Ben…He’s a good guy and he’s serious about you. Tell him. Whatever it is, he’ll get over it.”

Molly drew a slow deep breath. “I didn’t mean to fall for him. I really didn’t.”

“Yeah. Well. You’re totally screwed. And you’d better make it work, or this town’s going to get really small for the two of you.”

“Thanks. You’re like a little angel baby sent from heaven to cheer me up.”

“That’s me.” She pulled to an abrupt stop about two inches from the bumper of Ben’s SUV. “I should have your car ready tomorrow by noon. I’ll give you a call. Until then, please be careful. If it is Brenda, she’s probably freaking out right about now. Don’t go checking out strange noises in the backyard by yourself.”

“Duh. Ben checks the backyard. I take the basement.” She stepped out of Lori’s truck and Ben was already there, reaching for her hand. “Bye, Lori!”

Ben eased his warm—and big—fingers between hers and angled his head toward the station. “Andrew’s already here. You ready to head over to my place?”

Turning into his body, she leaned up for a kiss that started out simple and sweet, but quickly devolved to her tongue in his mouth and his hands in her hair. Yes, she was ready to get to his place. And he didn’t seem in the mood to talk, which suited her just fine.

“I was a very naughty girl,” she whispered against his mouth.

Ben stood straighter so that she couldn’t reach him. He jerked his head toward his truck. “Get in.”

Thoroughly wet already, Molly jogged around to the passenger side and leapt in. He was already turning the key in the ignition.

“Take me by my place first? I forgot my bag.”

“Naughty
and
irresponsible.”

“I’m a total delinquent.” She reached across the space to rub her palm over his thigh and then farther, and by the time he pulled into her driveway, he was hard as steel.

“You’re not wearing a skirt,” he rasped. “Another infraction.”

Giggling, Molly hopped out of the truck while Ben stepped more stiffly to the driveway.

“I’ll run in. It’s right on the kitchen table.”

“I’ll come with,” he countered, clearly inviting no argument.

But that was fine with Molly. Maybe they wouldn’t even make it to his place. Maybe they’d do it on the kitchen counter, half-dressed and loud with lust. She’d never done it on the kitchen counter before.

Her little plan took on new hope when she reached to unlock the door and Ben stopped her by putting his hands to her waist and turning her to face him. Molly leaned willingly against the door and watched him from beneath her lashes. He wouldn’t do anything nasty right here, surely. But he
could
do something subtle. Something discreet.

He did.

Leaning one arm against the wood above her head, Ben curled around her, not touching, but surrounding. His lips brushed the barest kiss against the crown of her head, and she was suddenly breathing hard.

“Molly…” he started.

“Yeah?” Oh, yeah.

“I thought maybe we could go up to my cabin this weekend. It’s nothing fancy, but there’s a small kitchen, a bathroom.”

“And that hot spring?”

“Yes.”

She raised a doubtful eyebrow. “I’d love to. But you said…about the cabin.”

“Yeah.” He dropped his head a little, and his forehead touched hers as he dragged one calloused finger down her temple, along her jaw, over the sensitive skin of her neck. That precious stroke curled through her until it squeezed her heart into mush. “I’d like to be alone with you, just for a little while. Even if you won’t admit to being my girlfriend. And it would help to clear my head a little, think through this Brenda thing.”

“So you are taking it seriously?”

“Of course I am. I’d never dismiss anything to do with your safety just because I think it’s ridiculous.”

“Ha! I’ll bet you it’s her. Hey! How about a real wager? If I’m right, you wear your cowboy hat for me. Just your hat and a whole lotta nekkid.”

“My official uniform hat? I don’t think that’s an authorized use. But since you won’t be right…fine. And if I’m right?”

“How about I put on a private show for you…costarring Little Blue?”

“That’s a fucking deal.” He winked down at her. “Better buy some new batteries.”

Snorting in amusement, Molly spun around to unlock the door, but her hand froze with the key in the lock, her nerves protesting her casualness.

Ben was right about her. She joked about everything, tried very hard not to take anything seriously, but she could be serious if she wanted. She was sure she could, even if she’d never done it before.

So Molly left the keys dangling and turned slowly back to Ben to commit herself to doing the right thing.

“This weekend,” she started, not quite able to meet his eyes. “This weekend when we’re alone…we’ll talk, okay? I mean, I’ll talk. To you. About me.”

She stared at his throat, at his steady pulse, while her own heart pattered in rising panic. She’d do it. Tell him this weekend. And it was kind of brilliant, actually. If she spilled the beans when they first arrived, he’d have time to adjust to it before he ever had the chance to read her work. She’d ease him into it just as she should have done from the start.

“Molly,” he whispered, drawing her gaze to his. His eyes melted to sweet chocolate as she watched, so sweet it hurt her deep inside. His cheeks flushed a little, pink rising up his jaw. “Molly, I love you.”

Oh, God. Ohgod, ohgod, ohgod. “Ben, I…I…”

“We’ll talk this weekend, Moll. There’s no rush. Honestly.”

Her hopes overrode her fears for the first time in days, weeks, months. Something loosened inside her chest, making her want to sob with relief. But she smiled past her tears and nodded and turned to unlock the door. She couldn’t say it yet, was scared to say it, but she’d show him how she felt as soon as they got to his house. Or to her kitchen. Or anywhere outside the reach of the porch light.

She was floating on his words and his touch as she pushed open the door. High on Ben.

They were both inside before she heard it. A strange, low mumbling. Ben’s hand snaked around her and he pressed it flat against her breastbone to pull her back against him. As he eased her backward toward the open door, Molly saw that a faint light glowed from the wide doorway of the dining room, and a distorted shadow moved across the floor in jerky motion. It looked like a devil, she thought, dancing out its fury to silent music.

Molly’s heel caught on Ben’s shoe and she gasped. His mouth was right against her ear, breathing out the barest whisper to be quiet, but it was too late. The shadow passed just then, and stopped dead at the sight of them. Ben pulled her back more quickly, but a gun rose in that shadow hand and froze them both.

“What are you doing here?” a cracked voice sobbed.

Molly heard the barest intake of his breath in her ear and then Ben murmured, “Brenda?”

“What are you doing here?”
she screamed in response, the sound of an animal in pain.

“Brenda, put the gun down so we can talk about this.”

His hand was steady against her, which was a good thing. Despite her earlier words, Molly was still shocked enough that she might fall right down to the ground. And that was before she noticed the scrawled black writing on the walls behind Brenda, who was now waving the gun instead of putting it down.

“Oh, we’re going to talk,” she sneered. “Close that door.”

“I don’t think—” he started, but Brenda gave a high-pitched scream and pointed the gun straight at Molly’s chest. Ben shut the door.

“Get your hands off of her,” Brenda ordered. “You don’t know anything about her. She’s nothing but a whore.”

Molly muttered, “Jeez,” which prompted Ben to dig his fingers into her chest just before he let her go. She moved slowly away, mouthing
I told you so
over her shoulder, but the look he gave her could’ve singed rock.

Come on,
she wanted to say.
Brenda is not going to shoot me or she’d have to shoot you.

Ben held up a subtle hand to let her know she’d moved far enough away, then twitched his fingers to get her moving backward instead of sideways. “Okay, Brenda. What do you want to talk about?”

With the door closed, it was dark, but Molly could see Brenda more clearly now in the glow of the desk lamp in the office. In one hand she held the gun in an unwavering grip. In the other she held a…marker?

“This woman,” Brenda rasped, her eyebrows beetling down to a crooked line. “This woman is not good enough for you. She’s a liar and a pornographer.”

Oh, shit.

“Brenda, come on.” Ben’s voice was smooth and low. Totally calm. “We’re friends. I have no idea what you mean, but let’s just go get a beer and talk about it.”

“I don’t drink,” she spat. “I don’t drink and I don’t wear slutty clothes and
I don’t lie to you.
Not like
her.
”

His big hands rose in a reconciling gesture while Molly tried to slide invisibly closer to him and nearer the door.

“It’s okay,” he soothed, but Brenda shook her head in furious denial.

“Do you know what she does? Do you know how she earns her filthy money?”

Ben’s eyes shot toward Molly for a brief moment, but Brenda didn’t give him time to answer.