Talon (Ashes & Embers Book 4) (25 page)

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. "I'm trying."

"Do you want to come over? I'm just hanging out doing some work. You're welcome to come over anytime."

"I'd love to, but I have a ton of work to do myself. I really appreciate the offer, though."

"Okay, but I mean it. You can call me or come over anytime. Even in the middle of the night. If you're feeling worried and need to talk, you can call me."

"Thank you. You can do the same. I'm always here. It sounds like you and Storm are over this strange jealousy period, though, and you're not having hourly meltdowns like I am."

"I think we're better now, but we were definitely there not long ago."

"Hopefully I'll get over this soon. Maybe if you hear from Storm, just make sure everything is okay with Talon and send me a text? Just don't make it obvious that I asked, if you can. I really don't want Talon to think I don't trust him."

"No problem. I'll text you later to check up on you."

After talking to Evie I feel a little bit better, at least about the photos of Talon with the girls, but I still don't understand why he hasn't contacted me yet. How hard is it to send a quick text? I was hoping he would be missing me as much as I miss him, but maybe his interest in me really is mostly sexual and I've been reading him wrong the past few weeks. Maybe the #Love didn't mean love as in
love
.

Grabbing my journal, I take it out on the front porch with me to write about the ups and downs of the past few days. Writing is therapeutic for me, but knowing someone is going to be reading and analyzing this in a few months gives it more of a clinical feel that I don't exactly enjoy. I try to be as honest as I can with what I write, though, because that was the point of this entire project—at least for Dr. Hollister. For me, it was to find a life partner. I'm still just not sure if that's what I've got.

J
ust as the
sun is setting, my phone beeps with the new Talon-text-tone I added about an hour ago.

Tears spring to my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Sometimes he knows exactly what I need to hear, and it feels so good to have someone who understands my heart so much.

T
wenty days
. I cross the final day off in my day planner with a big, triumphant smile. We did it. We got through it with no fights, no setbacks, and no additional pictures of women causing me to go into an epic jealous freak-out. I'm proud of us.

I close my planner and put it off to the side of the kitchen island where it lives and cross the room to pour myself a cup of coffee. When I head for the refrigerator to get my flavored creamer, I shriek and jump, my arms flailing like a ninja.

He's leaning against the doorway, his muscular arms crossed beneath a tight black Henley, and that old top hat is perched on top of his head. Beneath each of his eyes is a slight smudge of black liner. He looks uniquely bizarre and incredibly sexy.

"Holy shit!" I run toward him and throw my arms around him. "Why didn't you tell me you'd be here so early?"

"I wanted to surprise you." He pushes my hair from my face and caresses my cheek. "I just want to look at you for a sec." His dark eyes roam my body and then lock on to mine. "What was it you were supposed to say to me?" he asks, his thumb stroking over my lower lip. God, I love when he does that.

I'm so mesmerized by the fire in his eyes I can barely remember what my name is, let alone something I agreed to say. My brain spins until it finally comes back to me.

"You're my heart's hero," I say softly, and his eyes close for a moment before he bends down to kiss me, his lips soft against mine and tasting of bubblegum, his hand going to my waist and pulling my body against his. I sigh against his lips, absorbing his touch, his taste, his smell. My senses all come alive when he's near, and everything feels
right
.

"That's definitely the best thing anyone has ever said to me."

"I'm glad. I missed you so much. That was the hardest twenty days of my life."

"We need to go upstairs. Now."

We race each other to the bedroom, where he tackles me onto the bed while we pull each other’s clothes off in a frenzy. His lips devour mine possessively and I can't get enough of touching him, feeling his warm flesh beneath my fingers as they travel over his shoulders and down his back to squeeze his muscular ass. This man should be the squats poster child—his ass is just that perfect.

His mouth leaves mine and starts a tantalizing path down my neck to my breasts, his teeth grazing lightly over my sensitive nipples. He moves from one to the other, sucking me between his lips while his hand goes between my legs, pushing my thighs apart. A moan escapes my lips as soon as he strokes me and slips a finger into me, zeroing in on the spot he knows drives me wild. Squeezing my thighs together, I trap his hand and grind my sex against his fingers.

After teasing me with his fingers and tongue, he flips us over so he's lying on his back, pulling me on top of him.

"Get on my cock, baby. I want to watch you." His voice does things to me that I never thought possible.

Grasping his thick cock in my hand, I hold him against my lips and slowly descend down onto his throbbing hard-on. He moans and grabs my hips, gently pulling me down farther on him.

"I really fucking missed you," he groans, sliding his hands up to cup my breasts. "I'm not gonna slam you, babe. I want you to be in control this time."

What the hell do I know about controlling the cock?
Nothing.

Sensing my hesitation, he moves his hands back to my waist and gently lifts me up and down. "Relax your muscles… Take it as deep as you want and just let yourself go."

"Close your eyes."

"Jesus, Aze—"

"Just do it!" I can't do this with him watching me; I'm way too self-conscious about how awkward I look.

"Fine. Just fuck me before I lose my mind." He gives in, closing his eyes, and I'm glad he can't see me smiling and giggling at him. He really does try so hard.

"Stop giggling or we'll try a different hole that requires no eye contact."

Yikes!

He grabs my hands in his, still with his eyes shut, and holds them tightly as I ride up and down his length.

"That's perfect… Don't stop," he groans, his breath quickening as I move faster and take him deeper, causing my insides to ache. It feels so good, though, to have him inside me again, and nothing has changed. The closeness we found before he left is still here.

His eyes slowly open and he pulls me down on him, our lips meeting for a wet kiss, his hands moving to my ass to guide me back and forth on him, my clit rubbing deliciously against his abs. He fists my hair in his hand and pulls my head back, exposing my neck for him to kiss and lick.

I whimper and grind harder on him as his lips move to my breasts, sucking me into his mouth. The flicking of his tongue over my nipple sends electric pulses through my body and I lose control, gyrating my hips faster and harder on him, feeling his cock ram up into me, bottoming out.

Taking my hands in his again, he pushes me upward, forcing me to impale myself on him. His eyes are wild with lust as he lies back and watches me move on top of him, breathing in deep pants.

When I start to shudder on top of him, he pulls me back down onto his chest, wrapping his arms around me, his lips finding mine in the tangling mess of our hair.

"Don't make me not look at you, Aze," he says later, when we're snuggled against each other under the covers. "I want to see you. Every part of you."

"I'm sorry. I just felt…weird. Being so exposed, I guess."

"That's what I want, though. I love your body; you don't have to worry about that."

He loves my
body
.

Why can he say that, but not say he loves
me
?

"I love your body, too.

"And you know how much I fuckin' love those eyes of yours." He kisses the top of my head and rests his chin against me. "I missed sleeping with you." He sighs deeply. "I missed our bed. And these sheets. I hate that fucking bus."

And now he loves my eyes.

Can he not just go one step further and love
me
?

"Will you make me cupcakes tomorrow? I love your cupcakes."

Grinding my teeth in frustration, I nod. "Of course."

For God's sake, please stop loving everything under the sun and love me back, I beg silently.

But he doesn't say it. He rubs his foot up against mine and falls asleep, leaving me rewinding back to that hashtag he posted, hoping that was a hint.

#Love

"
I
t's so big
," she says, her eyes going wide as she cringes and pulls away.

"It's not as big as it looks."

"Yeah, it is! It's huge. And pointy. I don't remember this from the last time I had this done to me."

"Try to relax." I grab her small hand and squeeze it. "Think about something else, and you won't feel it going in."

"Are you kidding?" she says incredulously. "That's impossible."

Lukas trades a teasing glance with me while Asia freaks out in the chair and I lean against his table, shaking my head. I had a feeling she was going to freak out about the needling.

"Asia, I won't do this if you're scared. That's not how I work. You have to want it," Lukas says gently. "If you're scared, you'll wiggle and you could cause me to screw it up. I need you calm and unwiggly."

"I
do
want it. It's just pointy and noisy."

"Baby, trust me, it's not as bad as it looks. It's only going to sting a little."

"Rayne!" Lukas yells over the wall of his cubicle. "Bring me the rescue remedy drops!"

A few minutes go by, and my sister comes to us with a glass of water and a little amber bottle in her hand.

"What's that? You're not drugging my wife."

Rayne rolls her eyes. "It's a natural calming remedy. It works most of the time."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Is it safe?"

"Yes, Tal. It's totally safe. We're not idiots."

"Okay, I'm just checking. I don't want my wife all roofied up."

"You're such a nut." She puts a few drops of the remedy into the water and hands it to Asia. "Sip this. It should make you less nervous." She looks over at me and then back at Asia. "I hope you don't have him in the delivery room if you ever have kids."

Asia laughs as she sips her water. "That's definitely something to think about."

"Hey, if we have kids, I'll be in that room making sure no one does the switcheroo with my baby. That shit happens all the time."

"Maybe get a puppy first," Rayne advises. "You know, to sorta practice."

"We have a cat that calls me Daddy. I'm already practicing."

Lukas leans back in his stool. "So, you have a talking cat? Does it wear a hat?"

"No, Asia talks for her. And yes, it does wear hats. And dresses."

My sister cracks up. "I really need to come to your house."

"Rayne, you're welcome anytime. We have plenty of room; you could stay with us for a few days if you want to," Asia says.

"I may just take you up on that. I'm living with Gram now, and although I love her to pieces, sometimes I feel like a little break would be nice. She's constantly feeding me. I'll be a whale soon."

Asia lies back and pushes her jeans down a little, and Lukas starts his work inking my name on her hip. It's a good thing I trust my cousin, because I'm all sorts of fucking jealous watching another guy touch my wife's body.

"Just keep sipping the water and it should relax you a little," Rayne says, then leaves to go back to her reception area.

"You okay, jelly bean?" I ask.

She winces a little. "Yeah, it just burns. Your sister is gorgeous, Tal. Maybe we should have her model some of the clothes for my website? We could pay her. Maybe Kenzi, too? I don't see why we should hunt for models when you have two beautiful girls right in your family who would probably love to model for us."

"She's right," Lukas says. "That's a kick-ass idea."

"And both of you could model the men’s clothes," Asia adds excitedly.

"Us? Really?"

"Yes, you're both hot. I mean, we couldn't do couple poses obviously, we'd need unrelated guys for those. But for the single shots, I think you and Lukas would be awesome."

"I'm game for that," Lukas says.

"Did you just call my cousin hot? Right in front of me?"

Her cheeks turn bright red. "Yeah, but I—"

Lukas glares at me. "Don't make her uncomfortable, please."

I lean down and kiss her forehead. "I'm just teasin' ya."

I'm a little shocked that Asia actually went through with getting the tattoo. I thought for sure she was going to change her mind at the last minute, because having a guy's name on her is a big step—especially for someone like her who wants to be one hundred percent sure about everything. So, this must mean that she's like ninety nine percent sure we're staying together.

I guess I also didn't realize I've had a few walls up myself, always having that little fucking nagging feeling in the back of my head that she may just take the cat and bolt at the end of this rather than deal with me.

During the tour, there were times when I really started to worry she wouldn't want to stay married to me, especially when she got so upset and paranoid the few times I was unable to call or text her. I hate that she has to go through bouts of feeling so alone and in the dark, but other than building trust, I have no idea how I can make the situation better for her so she feels content when I'm not home. It makes it harder for me too, knowing that when I finally get to call her, I'm going to have to assure her that everything is okay and nothing happened. I don't want to waste the first fifteen minutes of every conversation doing damage control.

"Hello? Dude, are you listening?" Lukas asks, kicking my foot. "What the fuck daze are you in?

"Sorry, I spaced out."

He shakes his head as he changes the tip of his gun. "I asked if you wanted to come to my place for Thanksgiving. Ivy and I thought just us and the kids and you guys would be nice, since we're all going to Gram's for Christmas."

I look over at Asia, who's beaming from ear to ear, nodding yes like a bobblehead. I recall her telling me she's never had a nice family Thanksgiving or Christmas. Ever. She's in for a treat now.

"We'd love to," I answer.

Asia blows me a kiss while Lukas is turned away, and my fucking heart melts.

For the first time in a long time, I won't be spending the holidays wasted on eggnog and getting stoned. While Lukas finishes up her tattoo, I make a mental list of everything I'm going to do to make the holidays special for her. A big-ass tree. Lots of lights decorating the house and the yard. And tons of presents for her and the Princess.

Oh—and mistletoe every fucking place I can hang it.