Read Talon (Ashes & Embers Book 4) Online
Authors: Carian Cole
I don't receive a reply, and the screen doesn't indicate he read it.
My hand shakes as I continue to stare at the tiny screen, hoping the status will change to read or a reply will come through. Ten minutes later, neither of those things has happened, so he really must have turned his phone off. He never does that because he always wants to make sure I can get in touch with him. Now, with one stupid move on my part, that's changed.
I can't believe he's treating me this way, especially after I've forgiven him several times when he did stupid things. Why can't he do the same? Could he only tolerate me when I was doing everything right? One wrong move, and I'm shut out? Why is he being so unfair?
Anger attempts to take over my fear and sadness but loses. I can't be mad at him. My heart deflects that emotion when it comes to him.
I send Danny a text to at least end some of the guilt I feel.
Me: Thanks for the invite, but I'll pass. I appreciate you reaching out. Hope all is well.
I get off the couch and force myself to make what I need for my soap and lotion orders, hoping to keep my mind busy. Otherwise, I will sit here and stare at the wall and cry all day.
At dinner time, I send Talon another text.
Me: I just want you to know I'm thinking about you, and I'm sorry. I'm worried that you don't feel good. :(
Five minutes later, I get a reply.
Talon: It's probably a sinus or ear infection. I get them sometimes. Storm's got some antibiotics he gave me. I'm fine.
Me: I hate that we didn't get to say good-bye. :(
Talon: Me too
Me: Can you call me? I think we should talk.
Talon: I'm not ready to talk yet. I'm still really disappointed, hurt and pissed over this & I don't want to say things out of anger. I need to think.
Me: I wasn't going to cheat on you. Why are you being this way? You practically let some chick dry hump you in Boston and I forgave you. All I wanted to do was hear what he had to say.
Talon: I know that was wrong and I apologized. What bothers me is that you give a fuck what that asshole has to say. What if he wants you back?
Me: He doesn't.
Talon: Seriously? Why else would he get in touch? Don't be naïve.
Me: I'm not going and I just want to forget this. I'm sorry I hurt you. You know I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.
Talon: I just need to clear my head.
Every time he says that my stomach sinks. What does it mean? What is he thinking about? Why can't he let this go?
Me: I thought we said no more steps back?
Talon: We did. Telling me you want to go see your ex that you were in love with isn't exactly a step back. I feel like you pushed me off a cliff.
Me: I think you're taking it all wrong. I understand why you are, but I think you're misunderstanding the entire thing.
Talon: Please fucking stop. I can't do this anymore. Fuck. Please, my head hurts.
I start to cry reading his words on the screen. I don't understand why he's being so difficult with this. Was what I said so unforgivable? It's not like I did anything behind his back—I was totally honest and upfront with him. I shake my head and wipe at my eyes, not sure what to say that won't fuel his anger even more.
Talon: I have to go. We have a sound check. I'll get in touch tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
Me: Ok… have a good night. I miss you xo
He doesn't reply, and I'm completely dumbfounded. My gut tells me something else is going on here he isn't letting me in on, because this behavior is so unlike him. He hates to fight. He hates distance between us just as much as I do. I rack my brain, trying to remember everything from the past few days, attempting to come up with a clue of some sort as to what's got him so twisted up. We haven't made love in two days, which is also unusual for him. Both nights he told me his head felt funny and he felt too tired. And then he fell asleep almost immediately, hugging me. Which I love, but it's odd for him. He's also been distracted. Several times in the past month, he's spaced out during a conversation and I've had to repeat myself. Maybe there's more stuff going on with the band he doesn't want to tell me about and he's stressed out by it all.
Worried, I decide the best thing to do is give him what he keeps asking for—time to think. As hard as it is, I refrain from sending any more texts or attempting to call him.
My fingers reach up to touch the necklace hanging against my chest, remembering his words when he gave it to me on Christmas Eve.
I'm always with you.
I silently pray that's still true.
I
'm lying
in bed reading, unable to sleep, when my cell phone rings from my nightstand. I don't even care that it's almost one a.m. I'm just relieved he's finally calling me. An entire day has passed since his last text when he told me he needed to think, and it's been torture for me waiting for him to get in touch.
But when I pick up my phone, it's Asher's name flashing on the screen.
"Hello?" My insides go cold as I hold my breath, hoping Talon is using his brother's phone for whatever reason, like maybe the battery is dead in his.
"Asia, it's Ash. I'm sorry to call so late…"
Shit.
"It's okay. Is everything all right?" I sit up in bed, my book falling to the floor.
"No. Talon fell off the stage tonight. We've been at the hospital, and they're running some tests, but I think you should come. I'm getting the feeling something serious is going on."
A little gasp escapes me as my heart jumps into overdrive. "Oh my God, what happened? Is he okay?"
"We're not sure. He may have blacked out. It all happened so fast. One minute he was on the edge of the stage playing, and the next, he just fell right off. He's a little banged up and he smacked his head on the floor."
"Oh God…" I jump out of bed and run to the closet, frantically pulling out random clothes and throwing them onto the bed.
"He's been kinda off the past few days. He thought he had an ear infection. If he does, then he definitely could have gotten dizzy and lost his balance. It happens."
"That's true. He's been complaining of headaches since Christmas, too."
"Right. An ambulance brought him to the ER, and I've only talked briefly to the doctor so far. I'm waiting to hear more. I just think you should be here."
"Of course."
"I checked into some flights for you. There's a 5:30 a.m. flight out of Manchester, and you'll get here a little before noon. I'll arrange for a driver to pick you up at the airport and bring you here, and I'll book a hotel room for you. I'll text you all the info when we hang up."
"Okay. Thank you so much. Have you called your parents?" Noon is so far away; that's almost twelve hours before I can actually get to see him.
"Yeah, they're in California discussing a movie deal for one of Mom's books, but they're going to try to get out here tomorrow night."
"Okay. I'm going to pack a few things, then I'll leave."
"Are you gonna be okay to get yourself to the airport?"
"Yes, definitely." I'll drive the shit out of that car to get to my husband and get on that evil plane.
"Drive safe. I'll send that info now, and I'll see you when you get here. Try not to worry."
"Thank you for all your help, Asher. Please stay with him."
I end the call and toss the phone onto the bed, my entire body trembling with fear and worry. I try to steer my thoughts over to Asher's words—if Talon has an ear infection, he may have gotten dizzy and lost his balance. But he also said he had a feeling something serious is going on, and that's the part I can't stop hearing over and over again in my head.
I pull my small, beat-up suitcase out of the closet and start piling my clothes into it, when Pixie jumps on the bed and steps into the suitcase, circling in my clothes.
Oh no! What am I going to do with her if I'm leaving?
Retrieving my phone, I call Kat, hoping she'll answer at this time of night, and she does, on the fifth ring.
"Asia?" Her voice is scratchy and muffled.
"Kat, I'm so sorry to call you so late, but I need a huge favor."
"Sure…of course. What time is it? Are you all right?"
"Yes. No… Talon is in the hospital in Florida, and I need to go there right away. But I need you to watch Pixie for me. Do you want to stay here and house-sit for me?"
"Oh no! Is he okay? What the hell happened?"
"'I'm not sure." I lift the cat out of my suitcase and snap it shut so I don't end up taking her with me by accident. "Asher called me and said Talon fell off the stage."
"Holy shit. Was he wasted?"
"Kat! No, he doesn't do that! They think he may have an ear infection, but Asher sounded worried. Talon hit his head when he fell. I need to get there, and my flight leaves at five a.m."
"Your flight? You're getting on a plane?" She doesn't even try to hide her shock.
"I have to. I need to get to him, Kat. He hasn't been right since the fight we had. I feel terrible. If anything happens to him, I'll never forgive myself." I choke on my words as tears well up in my eyes.
"Okay…anything you need, hon. Please don't cry. Should I come now?"
"If you can, that would be great. I'm so sorry to do this to you."
"For God's sake, Asia. Don't apologize. I'll be there in half an hour."
"Thank you! You're a doll."
While I wait for Kat, I scribble a list for her about what and when Pixie eats, the alarm code, and leave her a few hundred dollars left over from the cash Talon set aside for me when he went away in October.
I read over the text Asher sent me, which has details for everything I need about the flight, the hospital, and hotel. He also noted at the end that he hasn't yet talked to a doctor, but he will text me if he hears anything before I get there.
"
I
'm so excited
to be staying at Chateau Valentine!" Kat exclaims when she arrives, throwing her arms around me in the foyer. "Don't worry, Asia. He's going to be fine. You're pale as a ghost."
"I appreciate you coming over so fast. I'm not sure when I'll be back, though—"
She waves her hand at me. "No worries. I can stay as long as you need me to. Rob can come here if he wants to hang out at night. I promise we won't trash your beautiful house."
"I know that, Kat. There's food in the fridge, I left you cash in case you need anything for Pixie or yourself… The guest room is clean—no one's ever slept in there. Help yourself to anything you need. I left the alarm code on a note in the kitchen, too. If you don't set it before midnight and when you leave the house, it will send us a text message."
"Swanky."
"And don't drive the monster truck," I tease.
"Well, damn, now you've wrecked my day. I was planning to go off-roading."
I scoop up Pixie from the floor and give her a little kiss. "You be good for your auntie." I stroke her little head and put her back down before turning back to Kat. "I can't thank you enough."
"Stop. Do you even know where the airport is? I could drive you."
"I actually do know where it is, and that's okay. I can leave my car in the lot."
"Do you want a sedative for the flight?"
"Why are you always offering me pills?"
"Because you're a nervous wreck and you've never been on a plane."
Sighing, I grab my purse and my suitcase. "I'll be okay. I need a clear mind when I see him."
She hugs me before I get to the door leading to the garage. "Call or text me when you get there. And don't worry."
The airport is only about forty minutes from our house and I find it with only one wrong turn, thanks to one of those epically confusing traffic circles. I follow the signs to the long-term parking area and trek to the terminal.
After collecting my ticket, I check my bags and go through security, then wait until I can finally board the plane. My fear of flying is totally confirmed when I see how tiny and close together the seats are. It is seriously ridiculous and frightening to be in such a cramped space, with total strangers—thankfully not many on this flight—up in the freaking air. I'm really rethinking my decision to take Kat up on her sedative offer right now. Between worrying about Talon and being in this claustrophobic space, I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown.
Breathe.
I finger my necklace, which usually helps me calm down, and it does now.
I'm always with you.
Closing my eyes, I say a silent prayer,
Please let him be okay. Please help him forgive me for being so stupid. Please give us the strength to get through this.
A
s promised
, there's a driver waiting to take me to the hospital when I get off the plane. Half an hour later, I'm walking through the lobby doors, texting Kat as I walk, and I literally run right into Asher.
"Good timing," he says, kissing my cheek hello.
"How is he? I've been worried sick."
"Let's go sit down." He motions to a couch in a secluded waiting area off the lobby, but I don't want to sit down. I want to see my husband.
Now.
He puts his arm around me and leads me to the couch, motioning for me to sit.
"I spoke to the doctors about half an hour ago. They've run a bunch of tests and are pretty sure they have a diagnosis."
A diagnosis.
That sounds bad to me. It isn't, "Hey, it's just an ear infection." It's something that's been given a name and required testing. And it's obviously something Asher wants to speak to me about alone first.
I swallow hard and wait for him to continue, my legs shaking.
His eyes soften and he touches my hand, just like Talon does. "You look petrified. He's going to be okay, Asia." His voice is so deep and calm, it soothes me instantly like verbal sedative, taking the edge off the fear that's been racing through my veins.
"So what's wrong with him?"
"They're pretty sure it's something called Ménière's disease."
Disease. Disease. Disease.
"Wh-What's that?" I've never even heard of what he just said. Which probably means it's rare.
"I didn't understand all the technical mumbo jumbo of what the doctor said, but from what I did understand, it's a sort of disorder of the inner ear. It causes episodes of severe dizziness, ringing in the ears, exhaustion, irritability, a pressured feeling in the ear, like when you want to pop your ear, ya know?" I nod, hoping that's the end, but it's not. "The other symptom is fluctuating hearing loss. If all that isn't bad enough, he'll most likely go completely deaf in that ear. He already has partial hearing loss, according to the tests."
I blink at him, feeling dizzy myself just absorbing that horrible list of symptoms my husband is going to experience. Talon will go completely insane if he loses his hearing; there's no doubt in my mind about that.
"Does it only happen once? Like, after this, is it over?" I ask hopefully.
He shakes his head. "Unfortunately, no. I did a quick web search while I was waiting for you, and from what I've read, he'll continue to have random dizzy spells. Some will come on very suddenly, like what happened last night on stage. Other times, it might be mild but last hours or days. There's usually vomiting caused by the vertigo, which he's had all night and this morning."
"He's getting sick? And he'll have this for the rest of his life?" That can't be. He was totally fine just a few days ago. Yeah, he's been tired and distracted and had a few headaches. But nothing like this.
"Yes. The ENT specialist said sometimes, after a few years, the symptoms will diminish, but there isn't a cure. But, he did say that each case is different. Talon may only have a few episodes per year that may last a few hours or a few days, and then he might not have another one for years. Or, in bad cases, the person has episodes weekly or monthly. It's too soon to tell."
"Oh my God, Asher. This can't be happening to him. He's such a happy, active person. This will make him miserable."
He nods slowly. "I know that, trust me. He'll be okay. We have to be positive and help him get through it."
This must be why he was so unusually harsh with me over the Danny disaster. He must have been starting to feel sicker.
"Did the doctor talk to him?"
"The doctor spoke to him, so he knows what's wrong with him now. I gotta warn you, he's pretty pissed off. I can tell he's scared."
I rub my forehead, overwhelmed with all the horrible info Asher just described. How is Talon ever going to get through this? This will destroy him.
"What do we do next?"
"They're running a few more tests, then they'll start some meds until he can see an ENT back home. He did hit his head last night, so he has a concussion. They think they might release him in two days. They're a little worried about dehydration since he's vomiting so much, so he's got an IV for fluids. He's not gonna be able to fly, the cabin pressure will make this way worse for him, so we're going to have to find a better way to get him home."
"Oh my God." My body starts to tremble, and I break out in a cold sweat.
"Let me get you some water. Stay put."
I sit in a shaking daze while I wait for Asher to return. How can this be happening? Talon is so young, healthy, and happy. He works out every day. He practices his music every day. He listens to music constantly. I can't even imagine how this is going to affect his music—or his life, for that matter.
"Here ya go." Asher hands me a paper cup of water and sits next to me again. "Asia, I know this is hard, but we have to look at the bright side. He's alive, he's going to be okay, and he can find ways to cope with this. Yeah, it sucks, but you two can get through this. He's a good kid, and he's always been very driven. He'll learn to deal with this."
"He doesn't deserve this…"
"No, he doesn't. But bad things happen to good people. It's horrible, but it's fuckin' true. No one knows that better than me. It's how we choose to deal with this shit that matters. And it helps to have someone fight with you, and he's got you. When you love someone, what happens to them, happens to you. You either fight it together, or you let it tear you apart. Right?"
I nod tearfully. "That's right. I'm not going to let this beat him. I'll be there for him through every step of this crap."
He winks at me. "I know you will. Why don't we head upstairs now? I think he'll be glad to see you."
God, I hope so.
A
sher enters Talon's
room first to let him know I'm here, while I wait outside the door. While we were in the elevator, Asher told me they were able to get Talon a private room, as there was quite a ruckus at the concert last night and the local fans know he's here since some of them actually followed the ambulance.