Taming the Outback (12 page)

There was a soft tap on the door, and Tom put his head in the office.

“You okay?” he asked, a frown marring his forehead.

“Sure, Tom.” She quickly sought to reassure him. “I just have to try and get my head around these figures and the business plan I’m trying to put together for Aaron. I want to get it right, and you don’t need me any more tonight, do you?”

“Not letting Nathan get the better of you, are you?” he asked.

“No, not at all.” She looked away from him, hoping her face didn’t give her away. “You might want to discuss those bulls with him while he’s here, though. You know what you’re talking about. You can give me a rundown later before I put it to Aaron.”

Tom nodded his head and left her alone once again. She breathed a sigh of relief, but it wasn’t long before the door flew open, and Nathan stood in the doorway, a scowl on his face.

“You are capable of talking to me, aren’t you?” he asked, staring down at her. “Or are you too scared to make a decision for yourself? So much for knowing what you’re doing. After mouthing off to me the other day, you still can’t take control, can you? I told you no amount of Internet access would fix it for you. It’s a hands-on job you can’t handle. If you want to run this station, sweetheart, run it like a man, and don’t leave someone else to get your information for you. Tom has been holding this place together for years. Cut him some slack and get off your arse and do your own dirty work. I promise not to bite if you want to ask me about those bulls. But that is all I promise.”

Libby found her feet and her voice at the same time.

“You ignorant bastard,” she yelled at him. “You just rock up here and invite yourself in to my home. I was polite, was I not? I gave you cake and coffee. What I do not have to give you is my time, just so you can run me down like you did last time you just popped in for coffee. If you want to look good in front of those guys out there, don’t use me to do it.”

“What the hell are you talking about, woman?” He threw his hands in the air, apparently not comprehending what she was on about.

“You told me to tell Tom about the bulls, remember? On your last visit? The one where you thought I wasn’t clever enough to run this place. So I did what you suggested. I told Tom and decided to leave it up to him. I value his opinion and will do what he suggests without question, but when I get him to talk to you, you go off in a tangent I should be the one to talk to you,” she said, frustrated beyond belief. “I can’t keep up with you. Make up your mind. What do you want, Nathan?”

“This.” He gripped her arms and pulled her close.

The moment his lips touched hers, Libby was lost, the last argument forgotten as the male smell of him filled her nostrils, sending her emotions out of control. Groaning with a want that burned through her body, she molded herself to his lean, hard frame while he feasted on her mouth. He wound his fingers through her hair, pulling it loose to fall over her face as she pushed her body into his. The hard bulge in his jeans made her forget reason as she pulled his shirt free and ran her hands up his back. She flung her head to one side as he nipped around her earlobes. Shivers perked up her already budded nipples before Nathan pulled at the buttons on her shirt. Her mind was telling her to push him away as he had done to her, but her body was taking charge, and she was powerless to stop herself.

Libby pushed her hands between them to roam up and explore his chest, tweaking at his erect nipples, teasing them with her fingertips as he continued to send shudders through her body with his mouth locked on hers.

She was struggling with his belt buckle when the door was thrown open.

“Mum, Holly is freaking out again. Hey, you get your hands off my mother!” Josh yelled as he came into the office and hit out at Nathan.

Libby stood rooted to the spot as Nathan let go of her and stepped back with a stunned look on his face when he turned and looked at Josh. Muttering under his breath, he spun on his heel and stormed out of the office.

“Mum, what is going on?” asked Josh, looking at her, his face twisted in anguish.

“I’m sorry, Josh.” She pulled her shirt straight, jamming it back into her jeans before she brushed past him to find Holly in the hallway, leaning against the wall, shaking uncontrollably.

She dropped to her knees on the floor and grabbed her daughter into her arms.

“Shush, baby,” she crooned, cradling her daughter tight while rocking her. “It’s okay now, shhh.”

Once again, she had let Nathan upset her baby, and this time, he wasn’t going to get away with it. She settled Holly in her pajamas and sat with her, stroking her hair from her face while the girl fell asleep. It was one thing to drive herself mad over her lust for Nathan, but to upset her family left her with a sick feeling in her gut.

When she returned to the kitchen, Josh was helping Tom with the dishes. The shearers were already in the bunkhouse for the night.

“Sorry you had to witness that, Josh. It got out of hand, and I think the only way Nathan knows how to solve an argument is to kiss me. It won’t happen again.”

“You told me you wouldn’t let anyone talk to you like that again, so why do you let him get away with it?” He turned from the sink and yelled at her, his voice hitching with the hint of tears threatening to override his anger. “I thought we came here for a better life, and it’s just more of the same old thing. He pushes you around like Grandad did, and you let him, Mum. Why?”

“I’m not going to discuss this with you anymore.” Libby’s mind was already made up. “I’ll deal with it my way when I’m ready. Now, bedtime.”

Josh sulked off to bed, and Libby helped Tom finish cleaning up.

“Want to talk it over, Libby?” Tom asked as he hung up the dishcloth.

Libby arched her back and rubbed her neck as she thought about the offer. She had never had anyone to share her confidences with before. Tom was almost family already, so why not?

“I don’t know what’s going on,” she admitted. “It’s like he just wants to stir me up, and I know he doesn’t really even want me for myself. He just wants what I have, but that still doesn’t make my frigging hormones understand. The sparks fly whenever he gets too close, and that’s just bloody ridiculous.”

Tom looked at her with his head to one side, appearing at a loss for words. “Have you not dated since you lost your husband then?” he finally asked.

“If you’re asking in a roundabout way if I’ve had sex since John died, then, no, I haven’t.” Libby lowered her eyes.

“Phew. Well then, I can see why he stirs you up and all. But what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know.” She rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. “I can’t have him scaring Holly like this though.”

“Once she gets to know him a bit better, surely she’ll be all right,” Tom said.

“It’s not just him though. It’s the whole loud voices that gets to Holly. I may as well explain properly.” She threw her tea towel down and took a seat at the table. “When John was killed, his father came to see me. It’s funny when I look back on it now. I thought he was coming to offer me his condolences and support. I should’ve known better. He had refused to come to our wedding. Apparently, I wasn’t good enough for their family. Not in the same class, if you know what I mean. He came to abuse me for causing John’s death.”

“How were you to blame?” Tom asked

“That’s just it. I wasn’t. John’s family came from money, and he accused me of marrying him for that reason. John walked away with nothing from them when he realized how they were going to treat me if I married him. We worked our butts off for everything we had. That’s why we moved so much in the early years. There was always a better-paying job somewhere, and he just had to have it, if only to prove to himself we could do it without his parents’ help.” Libby rubbed her hands over her face and continued. “The night he was killed, he was coming back from an interview for another job. He got hit by a drunk driver and didn’t stand a chance. Wrong place, wrong time, fate; call it what you will, but his father’s blamed me for it ever since.” She shrugged her shoulders when Tom leaned over and rubbed his hand over her back. “He came over that night to tell me. The kids were in the kitchen with me when he stormed into the house. Josh was nine years old, Tom. Can you imagine what that does to a kid to see his mother being screamed at by an uncontrollable bully? The poor kid tried to defend me even then, but his grandfather just brushed him aside as if he were a speck of dirt. It’s not a wonder he reacts that way when Nathan is pushing his weight around.”

“Oh, Lib, I’m so sorry.”

“That wasn’t the worst of it though,” she continued, twisting her hands together on the tabletop. “Holly was a baby, just shy of turning three. She was clinging to my legs and crying because she was scared with all the yelling going on. He picked her up and shut her in a bedroom in the dark so he could berate me and be heard over her cries. I tried to fight him, but he was angry and so much stronger than I was. I let him rant and rave at me while my baby screamed in the dark, hoping he would get it over with and leave us alone. I figured it was better than having him lash out and hurt one of the kids, but she still suffers from it, Tom. Every time she hears someone raise their voice, she shakes and totally freaks out.” She took a deep breath, looked at Tom, and continued. “If nothing else, Nathan has to be aware he can’t yell in front of my kids, no matter what the reason. I don’t care what he thinks of me; really, I don’t. I just want him to give my kids a break. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.”

“How are you going to do that?” He sipped the last of his tea and pushed the cup to one side.

“Last time I tried to tell him to keep his voice down, he laughed at me.” Libby felt ashamed as she remembered the feelings that had threatened to swamp her then.

“Why did he laugh at you? I don’t quite understand that.” Tom turned toward her.

“Showing off in front of his men, I guess.” Libby shrugged.

“He’s not like that, Libby. I’ve known him since he was in short pants. Sarcastic, sure but not downright nasty like that. You sure there isn’t more to it than you’re saying.”

Libby looked at Tom.
Why not?
He already knew she was sex-starved, so what the hell.

“He touched my face with just his fingertip and saw the reaction he had on me. I kind of freaked out and ran away from him.”

Tom looked at her, his expression serious, but she could see he was trying not to laugh at her.

“I suppose it is kind of funny when I look back at it. God, I would laugh too if I was looking on. See, that’s what I mean. There is this spark between us, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“But the thing is; do you want to do something about him?”

“Well, without making your ears burn, I would like to throw him in the hay and have my way with him.” She laughed. “Maybe once will be enough for me to get over it.”

“Well, good luck with that.” He laughed at her honesty. “Why don’t you try it then?”

“Why, Tom, I didn’t realize you were the free sex, liberal-thinking type of guy.”

“I’m a man,” he stated. “Albeit an old one, but if I was Nathan, I sure wouldn’t mind if you threw me in the hay and took advantage of me. Now there’s a sweet thought to send me to sleep with tonight, girl. Let’s hope you sort it out soon, because I don’t need too much reminding of what I no longer get.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Tom.” She stood and wrapped her arms over his shoulders, planting a kiss on the grey hair on the top of his head. “Thanks for listening. It makes it seem so much less of a big deal when I can talk to someone. I haven’t had that since John died, and I do appreciate it.”

“Anytime, and I mean it,” he replied. “Now, I really need to get some shut-eye before these guys drag me out of bed in the morning. It’s going to be another big day, and when they’re gone, it’s you and me docking tails on those lambs.”

“Night, Tom,” Libby said, leaning on the table as he rose and walked out the door. She watched him retreat down the path toward the gate and out to his quarters. Sighing quietly, she closed the door. Before heading to her room, she checked on her kids to reassure herself they were okay and then walked to her lonely bed.

C
HAPTER
E
IGHT

The next day with the shearers was pretty much the same as the first, although this time when they were finished, they wanted to celebrate and have a few beers with dinner.

Libby was on edge all night, but there was no sign of Nathan.

“So, are you going to tell me about you and Nathan then?” Molly asked, leaning on the fence next to Libby.

Libby pulled her gaze from the driveway, wishing for the millionth time that a set of lights would herald his arrival and feeling stupid for the need she felt when he so obviously didn’t feel the same way about her. “Nothing to tell. He’s royally peeved I have the farm and gives me as much grief as he can about it. I guess he’s hoping I’ll give up and go back to the city with my tail between my legs. Why do you ask?”

“Look, we’ve been coming here to these farms for a long time. You have the guy rattled, I can tell, and believe me, it takes a lot to rattle that man.” Molly winked at Libby and took a long drink of her beer before nudging Libby in the ribs and walking back to the others. A warm feeling started to settle in Libby’s stomach. Was hope now mingling with the lust she felt for him? What if Molly was right and he was rattled—and not about the farm like she thought but with her now that he had kissed her. Libby touched her lips, the memory buzzing through her blood as her body cried out in protest of the feelings that would not go away.