Tangled (17 page)

Chapter 9

He
had to do something.

Something.

Something.

He
couldn’t think of it. But it was there. He’d posted a note somewhere about
something.

Something
he couldn’t remember. But it was important. It’d nagged him for the past week.
Or had it? What day was it? What time? How long had it been since he snapped
out of the depression and the electrical storm in his brain had fired up again?

He
loved it.

He
hated it.

Adonis
tried to think of the day. Wednesday? No Thursday. Or was it Friday?

He
hadn’t gone to class.

Exam.

He
needed to take an exam.

But
his fingers…

They
were itching, burning, sparking at the tips, the continual rush of power
coursing through his bloodstream granting him the feeling of invincibility. It
had no origin. No beginning. No end.
Only the here.
The now. He could feel the recurrent cycle of energy careening from his brain
to his arms and legs, down to the balls of his feet, forcing them into action.

Adonis
paced his room.

Back and forth.

Forth and back.

Where
were his ships? Did he finish them? Yes he had last time. Should he start
another one?

No.

Yes.

Maybe.

With
shaking hands, he patted himself down for his pack of cigarettes. He lit one.
The nicotine penetrated the furious spinning of electrons and neurons, all
colliding and combusting and allowing no room for rest.

But
rest was the furthest thing from his mind.

He
couldn’t rest with ideas and thoughts exploding so fast and so intense that
they halted any and all functionality. He could hear them zipping through his
head faster than the speed of light, cracking in red and blue jagged streaks
along the complex grid of his brain’s motherboard; a dichotomy of logic and the
illogical, like two dueling factions caught in a zero-sum game, one unable to
operate without crippling the other.

If
only he could carry out all of those ideas at one time. Earlier he had bumped
out page after page of his Business Admin paper while simultaneously working on
another of his projects. It worked for a time but things would go even faster
if he could split himself in two. To think of the amount of things he’d be able
to accomplish sent his heart rate skyrocketing.

He
felt like he was having a heart attack. Adonis tried to calm himself but he was
too up, too high, soaring above everything.

Above the earth.

Beyond the cosmos.

He
was invincible.
A god amongst peons.
Why he didn’t
have to listen to them. Didn’t they know who he was? He could have anything he
desired.

He
could buy this fucking continent if he wanted. Make them all his slaves, their
only purpose to serve him.

He
clenched his skull and squeezed, hoping it’d relieve the pressure. But it
continued to build like a turbine ready the blow.

When
would it stop? Today? Tomorrow? It would have to soon. It was unavoidable. And
then he would capsize and sink, dragged down to the black, suffocating pits of
despair.

The
thought induced a backlash of anxiety so daunting it crushed his chest.
 

He
reached for the bottle of bourbon. It was empty. When’d that happened? Just
now?
An hour ago?
A day?
 

He
couldn’t remember.

The
cigarette went quickly (when had he lit it?) and he found himself reaching for
another.

Just one more.
The first ended too soon.

Or
had it been his second?

Third?

Ok,
only one more.

Adonis
lit another, his gaze catching on the bottle of Xanax sitting on his
nightstand.

When
had he taken those? This afternoon? Yesterday?

Yes.

It
had to have been yesterday or he would’ve felt the medication’s effects by now.
He tore off the lid and watched as miniscule pills tumbled into his palm. They
were so fucking small. What was the limit?

He
didn’t care.

He
just wanted it to stop so he could breathe.

So
he could figure out what to do next.

Adonis
tossed all of them back at once.

________________

Jade
glared half-heartedly as her roommate capered from the bathroom. “If I didn’t
feel so happy for you, I’d punch you in the face.”

“I
heart you too." Tess continued humming to herself as she towel dried her
hair.

Jade
lifted her eyes toward the ceiling. "I've created a monster."

Tess
grinned hard. She couldn’t help it. She was floating on cloud nine, immersed in
her own bubble of happiness. She couldn’t even be jealous of Jade, who got to a
leave a whole two days before Thanksgiving due to generous professors.

Maybe
she should’ve taken Art 101…

But
what was an extra couple of days compared with having Cameron as her boyfriend.

Her
boyfriend.

Three
weeks later and it still felt like she’d wake from a dream at any moment. After
he had walked her home Halloween night/morning, he’d bestowed her with a
thoroughly toe-curling kiss before departing. She’d run up to her room, jumped
into bed, screamed into her pillow, and flailed like a fish out of water.

That
was all before she found Jade and her hook-up sleepily glaring at her one bed
over.

The
transition had been smoother than she’d imagined. They hadn’t been able to hide
the news for long. As expected, everyone had congratulated and ribbed on them
for waiting so long. But Tess and Cameron had been too caught up in each other
to really pay them much mind.

There
was only one loose end that kept her a stone’s throw away from absolute bliss.
Every time she visited the house, she girded herself—waiting for
everything to explode in her face. Too much of a coward to come out and say it,
Tess waited for Adonis to break the news.
A part of her
yearned for the truth to set her free.

But
Adonis never
outed
her. In fact, Tess had seen
neither hide nor hair of him since Halloween. According to Cameron, he spent
most of his time at his friends’ place or holed up in his room.

As
long as he didn’t bother her, Tess didn’t care if he rotted up there. She was
beginning to feel like he’d just been blowing steam up her ass with his
so-called ultimatum. Perhaps what it all boiled down to was that neither of
them wanted to see Cameron hurt. They owed him too great a debt.

In
any case, she had more important things to consider, like plotting out their
first date in the city. No doubt Cameron would want to whisk her off to some
swanky, upscale restaurant where she’d be unable to pronounce half the items on
the menu.

Tess
was still undecided on where she would take him. She doubted he’d want to visit
some of her old underground haunts. Just the thought of Cameron braving a metal
show pitched her into a fit of giggles.

Other
than that, only one thing bothered her about the progression of her and Cam’s
relationship.

“Is
it weird we haven’t moved beyond second base?”

“Tess,
it’s been like three weeks. He probably wants to take it slow,” she said,
zipping the last of her suitcases.

"Any
slower and I'd feel like I'm going steady in middle school."

"Yeah,
it's so awful when a guy wants to respect you and your body by not rushing into
a physical relationship."

"God,
you make me sound like a horrible person."

"Not
horrible, just horny. Look sweetie, I know nowadays we’re used to doing things
backwards by jumping in the sack first and maybe dating later, but that’s
usually how the long-termers work. Or supposed to anyway.”

Tess
launched a pillow at her. “What time are your brothers picking you up?”

“They
hit the Pennsylvanian border like an hour ago, so maybe in thirty? They’ll be
broken hearted when they hear you finally settled down,” she said wryly.

She’d
met the Wolfe family on a number of occasions ranging from Family Day weekends
to visits during summer break. Jade’s devilishly handsome older brothers were
notorious flirts and made no bones about the fact they wanted her.

“They’ll
live.” She buttoned her jeans and pulled on a shirt. “Besides, Cameron is all
the man I need.”

“What
about your mystery lover?”

Her
shoulders tensed. “What about him?”

“You
never told me who he is.”

“Because
he’s not important.”

“If
you really meant that you wouldn’t be fighting so hard to keep him a secret.”

Tess
shoved into her black flats. But the flimsy shoes softened the aggressive
gesture. “Jade, save the psychobabble and drop it, will you?”

The
startled hurt that flickered across her expressions made Tess feel lower than
dirt. “I’m sorry, J. I just don’t want to get into it.”

“Little
late for that,” she muttered and slid her laptop into its embroidered sleeve.

Tess
sighed. “I’m going to check mail and grab something to eat.”

“You’d
better be back before we leave. I don’t want to hear my brothers bitching about
how they didn’t get to see my ‘hot roommate’ all the way back home.”

And
just like that, order restored itself.

“I’ll
do my best,” Tess solemnly vowed and gathered her messenger bag. She checked
her cell as she left out. Her mouth pulled into a grimace at the missed call from
home.

Usually
she made it a priority to call once every other week, but Tess had been so
caught up in her personal drama that she’d neglected to for almost a month.

There
was no point in delaying the inevitable. Tess redialed her mother. Maia answered
on the second ring. “Tess?”

“Hello
mother.”

“Don’t
sound so eager to talk to me,” the older woman said dryly.

All
she could reply with was a lame, “Sorry.”

Dead
air stretched over the line. “How are your classes coming along?”

“Good.”

“When
do you plan on coming home? Ray said he wouldn’t mind coming down and picking
you up-”

“That’s
fine. I’ll find a ride.” Tess would rather take the bus than sit in an enclosed
space with her stepfather for an hour.