Tangled in a Web of Lies (30 page)

I reach between us with my hand, and run my fingers over his zipper, stoking his shaft through his jeans.

“You gonna take care of that?” he asks, grabbing the back of my head. His eyes glow deep blue, and I melt as his fingers gently caress the back of my head, twirling my hair between them. Then he uses his hold on my hair to push my head down, and I obey by sliding my body down his legs to the floor. When I’m kneeling between his feet, I use my hands to pull open his zipper, taking him into my mouth.

He hisses, gripping my hair tight and I groan around his cock.

“Mmm, that’s nice, baby,” he says when I drag my tongue along his flesh.

Devil’s Cut

“Here’s the tracker for the GPS. I don’t give a shit what you see Keila doing, you better not let them see you. But stay close, don’t let anything happen to Lila.” Odin hands Cole the tracker for the GPS he just had installed in his truck.

“Are you sure this is a good idea man?” asks Cole, eyeing the GPS.

“I don’t want her out alone. As long as Rick is breathing, I’ll never stop believing he has it out for her. Stay on her, and don’t get caught!” Odin reiterates.

Rick isn’t the only reason Odin wants a tail on Lila. She’s an obsession he can’t put down or take his eyes off of, not even for a minute.

Cole sighs, and Odin reminds him that if he hadn’t been living in a drunken stupor the last few weeks, he’d be going to Washington and Odin would be taking Lila to see her brother himself.

“Don’t act like you didn’t drink yourself half to death when Lila left, asshole.” Cole spits on the ground.

“Yeah, well the difference is I didn’t knock up a stripper. Keep your head on straight, don’t get drunk and sloppy!”

“Fuck off,” says Cole taking the tracker and pushing it into his pocket. “I think I can handle stalking two girls to Colorado.”

“Well don’t get cocky. Lila’s always watching her back, don’t let her see you.”

Cole nods his head, taking a smoke from his pocket. “So what’s this Washington run all about anyways?”

“Charter’s been feeling some kind of rival heat, looking for hands to help cool it down up there.”

“Sounds messy.”

“Yeah it does,” Odin agrees.

Later that evening, Odin heads over to Felix’s house. Lana, his old lady greets him at the door.

“Sorry to interrupt your dinner. I was hoping to have a chat with the old man,” Odin smiles a wolfish smile at Lana. Her beautiful skin blushes and she invites him to sit with her and Felix for dinner.

“Thanks love,” he says as she lays a plate of roast in front of him. They joke around the table until Lana clears the plates and excuses herself. Then Odin follows Felix into his garage.

“I take it you know Rick’s in county,” says Felix, pulling two brews from the fridge.

Odin nods. “I was hoping you might have some information for me, about how I can get to him on the inside.”

Felix smiles. “I met up with an old acquaintance this morning, John Ostwich. He’s a retired prison guard, who works as an overseer now. There’s hardly a prison from here to New York he can’t pull a job off in. Been in bed with the club a long time. He’s not cheap, but he agreed to meet with you, gave him a brief rundown of what you needed.” Felix pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket. On it says
John
with a phone number. “Just text him your name. He’ll tell you where and when to meet.”

“Thanks,” says Odin tucking the paper away in his pocket. “I’ll text him as soon as we get back from Washington.”

“Watch Jr.’s back. Things are gonna get bloody up there,” Felix warns.

***

It’s the afternoon before I leave for Colorado and I’m packing a few last things into my suitcase when my phone rings. I immediately recognize the number of the Wyoming State Penitentiary. Nathan is downstairs babysitting, but Odin is gone. I accept the collect call from Billy.

“Billy? Are you there?”

“Hey, Lila. How’ve you been?” It’s good to hear his voice.

“Great. How about you?”

“Not so good. Listen, I was hoping you could make it here. I need to talk to you, it’s really important. But it has to be fast. I’m looking at losing my visitation here soon.” Billy sounds like he’s in a panic.

“Why? What happened?”

“Nothing yet. That’s why we need to talk. Is there any way you can make it out Saturday? I know it’s really short notice.”

Ruston is only a few hour’s drive from Dustin’s house. Odin will never sign off on me taking a side trip to see Billy, but somewhere in the back of my mind there’s a voice that sounds like Kelli telling me he doesn’t have the right to tell me no. I take a deep breath, thinking it over. Billy sounds so desperate, I can’t bring myself to tell him no.

“I can make it this Saturday,” I tell him.

“That’s great,” he says relieved. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Yeah. You too,” I say warily. Something about this whole conversation feels off. “So I’ll see you this weekend?” I start to say my goodbye.

“Yeah. Hey, listen. Just in case you don’t make it out Saturday. I want you to know that I love you. I’ve never blamed you for the mistakes I made. If I could go back and do it differently, I wouldn’t. John Church deserved to die.” His words throw me way off guard. This sounds like a goodbye.

“Billy, can you just tell me what the hell is going on?”

He’s silent for a moment. “No. I can’t. I’ll see you Saturday, okay?”

“I’ll be there,” I promise.

“Goodbye, Lila.”

“Bye.”

I stare at my phone a few minutes after hanging up. Losing visitation, acting desperate and his last words all have my mind spinning, trying to come up with some sort of explanation. But before I can come up with one, I hear Odin pull in the garage.

“This is fucking amazing!” Keila shrieks out the window, already feeling the effects of the happy pills she swallowed this morning. “I still can’t believe Odin’s letting you take off alone. This weekend is going to be great! No Cole, no club, no bullshit! Just two girls and a good time!”

“Yeah, I’m kind of surprised myself.” I glance in my rearview mirror for the third time since we left, which is sad considering we’re only about 40 miles out. It’s strange being away from Odin. That layer of protection he tries so hard to drape me in fades away, and I’m watching my back like a hawk. But every mile further we drive, I feel more at ease!

Keila tries desperately to get me to stop in Vegas. I remind her that if we want to get to Colorado tonight, we need to haul ass and I need to stay sober. She pouts, which is an adorable expression on a face as cute as hers.

“Too bad Kelli couldn’t come,” she sighs.

“Yeah, she doesn’t have much vacation time after that the lock down.”

The hours pass by with Keila being happy, singing along to the Evanescence CD she brought. I feel like a teenager again, bleeding my heart out to Lithium. We laugh hysterically when neither of us quite hit the high note, and are left screeching like monkeys in the cab of the truck. It’s great to see Keila smiling, but eventually the pills wear off, and I can tell as she slouches against the window.

“There’s some pot in my purse. Feel like packing a bowl?” I ask. It’s risky since Utah has a zero tolerance law, but at least it’s dark and the road is mostly clear.

“Fuck yes, I do.” Keila pulls my purse from the floor board. She hands a loaded pipe to me, and kindly reaches across to hold the steering wheel while I light up. I notice on the inside of her wrist there’s a thin tattoo that says ‘Cole’.

“I didn’t know you had that,” I say as I hand the pipe back to her.

“Since I was nineteen. Cole wanted the world to know he owned me.” Keila’s face falls as she stares down at her wrist.

“Odin branded me when we went to Louisiana.”

“You’re brave. I could never handle that! I’m a wimp when it comes to pain. Maybe that’s what Cole saw in Brandy.”

I glance at Keila who is still starring down at her tattoo, holding the pipe and lighter in her hands with a pained look on her face.

“I personally don’t think he sees shit in her. I don’t even think he likes her.”

“Really?” asks Keila hopefully. “What am I supposed to do if that baby is his?” Keila looks to me for an answer, and my eyes grow wide, starring ahead.

I shake my head. “I have no idea on that one.”

“I still love him,” she whispers. “I gave him everything. I can never get it all back. I don’t even want to love anyone else. I pray every night, that it’s not his, and we can get over this. I know it’s pathetic, but I want him back. He’s my man. He always has been. It hurts so bad that after everything we’ve done together, he went behind my back and slept with Brandy. I’ve let him fuck other women in our bed. Why did he have to go behind my back and break my one and only rule, no cumming in other women?”

“I have no idea what he was thinking. Maybe it was a onetime thing, like some midlife crisis. Still doesn’t make it right, but I don’t think he’s been actively cheating on you all this time.” I don’t know why I’m defending Cole. I guess I’m just trying to make Keila feel better.

“I hope you’re right. We haven’t talked about it. We should, but I don’t know if I can believe anything he says now.  I’ve been avoiding talking to him, I’m afraid I’m going to cave in, and tell him to come home. I miss him so much.” Keila takes another hit and passes the pipe back to me, lit this time.

“I know it’s hard. Jaime cheated on me, and I knew it but I denied it. It wasn’t until I was practically given photo proof that I confronted him about it. By then I was so done with him, his excuses didn’t even matter. But it’s a shitty feeling. That’s why were taking some time away, remember. This is girl’s weekend, where we escape our feelings and have fun.”

“Right,” says Keila unconvinced as she empties out the pipe and stuffs it with a new bowl of greens.

It’s almost midnight when we finally get to Dustin’s house, but that doesn’t stop Keila from making me stop at the liquor store for some midnight schnapps down the road from his house.

Dustin comes out to greet us, and I can tell just by the way he introduces himself, he has a thing for Keila.

She shyly tucks her hair behind her hair before accepting his handshake, and I roll my eyes. It wouldn’t surprise me if they hooked up. I just hope Dustin pulls a dick move after. He has a tendency to be a hit it and quit it kind of guy.

They want to stay up drinking, but I’m exhausted from the drive. I’ve been counting mile markers for the last two hours. After a couple shots with them, they’re already well acquainted and being overly flirtatious. I excuse myself to bed.

I sneak out around 6a.m. the next morning. Dustin and Keila are curled up on the couch and the TV is still on. Keila’s still wearing all her clothes, and the sight of them cuddling is almost cute. But that shouldn’t be Dustin’s shirtless chest she’s resting on.

I leave a note on the counter.

Went out to visit a friend. Be back later. Don’t get to trashy on me. We’re hitting the casino tonight.

With any luck, the two of them will sleep till noon and I’ll make it back before they even realize I’m gone.

I climb into Odin’s truck, feeling nervous. I know I shouldn’t be doing this. The second I cross the line into Wyoming, there’s no going back. I’m lying to Odin, again. It’s almost too easy to do now that I’ve done so much of it. I plan on telling him when I get home that it was a spur of the moment decision.

I turn the radio up on a Guns and Roses song, taking a deep breath and trying to ready myself for whatever it is Billy wanted to see me for. It takes me a little less than 5 hours to drive to Ruston. I park Odin’s truck in the visitor parking and go inside.

After getting checked in, I sit and wait for Billy. When I see him, my heart aches. He has a dark black eye, and looks even more worn than the last time I saw him.

He greets me with a hug and we sit down.

“What happened?” I ask, looking at his split eyebrow.

“Prison is politics. Sometimes fighting is unavoidable.” The way he says it so casually is strange. It’s like Billy has fully embraced prison as his home.

“So what’s going on?” It’s hard to make small talk knowing there’s something going on.

Billy stares down at his hands laced together on the table. His hands and knuckles look bruised up as well.  I can only imagine how rough it is on the inside.

“I started playing cards a couple years ago. At first it was just for fun, but it’s become kind of a habit.”

“You mean like you’re gambling?” I ask.

Billy nods, “Yeah. It started no big deal but I got in over my head. That’s what I need to talk to you about.”

“You need money.” The desperate phone call starts to make sense. If he were anyone else, I’d be irritated. But it’s Billy. I owe him one, that’s for sure. “How much?”

“About three thousand.” I can see the shame in Billy’s eyes.

“Okay. I can get you three grand,” I agree. I have a little more than that in my safety deposit box.

“That’s not all. It’s got to be fast. I’ve bought myself about all the time I’m going to get from these guys. It’s either pay up, or earn my way out of debt. I don’t want to kill anyone Lila. I want out of here, not more time.”

“I have it at home. I’m going back Sunday I can send a money order Monday morning.”

“No, it has to be today. Unless I come up with that money by tonight, they’re either going to make me kill someone, or kill me.”

“Over three grand?” I’m surprised.

“Three grand is quite a bit in prison. It’s not like any of us have high paying jobs,” he says sarcastically. I guess he’s right. I don’t have three grand in my bank account right now. “Look. I understand if you can’t help me. I got myself into this mess. But I’m scared. You’re my last resort, Lila. If you can’t help me I’m totally fucked.”

“I’ll get you the money,” I tell him.

“Thank you.”

I stare into Billy’s eyes for a while. I don’t see what I used to see. I used to see my hero, my one and only escape from everything. He was a crutch I used to fall back on emotionally over and over again. Now he’s just a friend to me. Odin has filled the space in my heart I used to keep hidden, secretly hiding my feelings for Billy.

“You with someone?” He asks as if he can read my mind.

“Yeah. I am.” Just the thought of Odin makes me smile.

“I remember that look. It must be new, if you’re still crushing that hard,” says Billy.

“It’s been a few months.” I don’t tell him about the break up, or any other details of my relationship.

“Do you love him?” Billy’s eyes stare into mine.

I don’t want to answer him. I don’t want to hurt him. About four years ago, Billy asked me that same question about Jaime. I can remember my words exactly.
I think so. I don’t love him the way that I loved you. He doesn’t make me go crazy, but he makes me smile. He’s just a distraction. In the end I’ll always love you more.

This time, he’s not going to like my answer unless I lie. There is no denying this time, the answer is yes.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” I try to find a way out of the question.

“It’s easy. If I got out tomorrow, would it be me and you, or you and him?”

I search his eyes, remembering the boy I once promised my heart to in exchange for all he did for me. But now, he’s not the only one who’s killed for me. A sad, yet true statement. I don’t even know what a life with Billy would look like anymore. I turned into a different person than the girl I was back then.

“I love Odin. I’m in too deep to leave him. He’d never let me go. Sorry Billy.”

He waits a moment, as if hoping I’ll say more. I can see the disappointment in his eyes, but there’s nothing else to say. He asked me and I gave him the truth. I reach across the table and take his hand, because the sight of Billy, in his bleak blue jumpsuit, covered with bruises, in prison tats, wrenches at my heart. The hopeless look behind his eye makes it even worse, and holding his hand is all I can comfort him with.

“I guess I had to know you’d fall in love again. I’m really happy for you Lila,” he says unconvincingly. Gripping my hand, he starts to laugh. But it’s not a funny, light hearted laugh. It’s the kind of laugh that keeps a man from falling apart.

Talking about Odin makes me realize that I shouldn’t be here.

“You are still, so beautiful you know that?” Billy says, startling me. I blush as his thumb moves over my lip.
I really shouldn’t be here.
The brand on my back begins to burn, reminding me who I belong to.

“I don’t think I will ever stop missing you, sweetheart.”

Something inside me comes alive hearing Billy call me sweetheart, like he used to. We haven’t had a conversation like this in years, since I was in high school.

I place my hand over his, unsure if I want to push him away or pull him closer.

“I hope you have a beautiful life. I hope whoever you fall in love with, worships the ground you walk on.” He leaves me with these words as he stands to walk away. I stare at his back, watching him go. It doesn’t hurt the way it used to. But it still hurts. I don’t know what it is about his farewell that brings tears to my eyes.

Devil’s Cut

Cole follows Lila all the way to the Wyoming boarder before he realizes she’s going on her own side trip. When he starts seeing signs for Ruston, he calls Odin.

“She’s in Wyoming?” he growls.

“Yeah man, I’ve been following her a couple hours already.”

“By herself?”

“Yeah man. How long am I supposed to follow her?”

“She’s going to the prison in Ruston.” Odin’s voice is aggravated, and he is pissed. “Stay on her. Don’t let her see you. Call me the second she walks out of there. I want to know everything. Do you understand me?”

Cole rolls his eyes, not understanding Odin’s jealousy.

“Who does Lila know in prison?”

“It’s her first love. She says it’s nothing but that’s where she went running to when she left. I don’t trust it, and the fact that she’s going behind my back, doesn’t make me like it anymore.”

“Alright man, I’ll keep you posted,” Cole agrees.

Sure enough, Lila leads him to the prison. He circles around the lot until the perfect parking spot comes up in the corner, where he has a plain view of Odin’s truck.

After twenty minutes or so, she comes out of the building. Cole calls Odin who answers in a clipped voice.

“Where are you?” he demands.

“At the prison. Lila just came out.”

“Yeah. I tried calling her but she didn’t answer.”

“It looks like she’s crying.”

“What? Are you sure?” Why the hell would she be crying? Is she regretting going behind his back? Or, is she still in love with him? Odin clicks his jaw a few times, fuming with envy.