Tart (33 page)

Jules steeled herself and dialed her brother’s number. It was Marci who answered. “Jules, I’m sorry. Maybe in a few months . . .”

“I’m not calling about that. I’m here at the hospital so if you’d like an update you’ll continue to listen.” Even to her own ears, Jules sounded like a stranger. She’d always really liked Marci, but all she felt was numb that this situation with her brother was even happening.

It was stupid and a waste of time and really, none of Ethan’s goddamned business. And then the numb began to heat into anger.

“Oh! Of course. How is he?”

Jules filled Marci in briefly and succinctly. She missed the boys. Wanted to ask about them. Wanted to hear them shouting her name in the background.

“Donna may be calling with more information, or it might be me. It’s going to depend on whoever can do it. Unless Ethan wants me to let her know why he can’t bear the thought of me calling his home to hear about his father, who is in ICU.”

“It is stupid. I’m sorry. If it were up to me . . . but it’s not. Give him time.”

“No, I think I’m done doing that. I’ve been there for Ethan whenever he needed me. I had an active and loving relationship with your children. Those boys love me. I’m good for them. My brother had me as a guest in his home and he called me a whore and kicked me out at eleven at night after I’d driven three hours and three dozen cupcakes and a dinosaur cake down for his son. Because I’m there for those boys just like I have been for him. I’ve had it, Marci. I’m tired of being crapped on and taken for granted. It breaks my heart that I won’t be able to watch your sons grow up. I love them very much. But I don’t plan to take any more shit from anyone. I’m turning over a new leaf. Have a good day.” She hung up and took a deep breath.

It wasn’t that she’d never told anyone off before. But never her family. And it wasn’t Marci’s fault, she knew.

She wondered if she should call back to apologize but then decided not to. She was done with that.

25

T
he knot of tension in Gideon’s stomach finally loosened when he pulled his rental into the hospital parking lot. Jules had left him a voice mail and had sounded so fragile it had taken all his control to not race to get there.

He found her by herself in a corner of the ICU waiting area. She’d been sitting sideways, her sweater balled up so she could rest her head on it. And she looked lost.

“Jules.”

She looked up and when she saw it was him her bottom lip quavered and she got up, nearly tripping over her things to get to him. He hugged her tight, swallowing past the well of emotion at the way she’d greeted him.

“I’m here, baby. I’m here.” He stroked a hand over her hair until she relaxed and stepped back to look up at him.

“He’s conscious. Donna went in to see him a bit ago.”

He guided her back to where she’d been sitting and joined her. “Now you can rest your head on my shoulder instead of the wall.”

“That’s the best offer I’ve had. Ever. Thank you. Thank you for coming.”

“Are you all right? Is he going to be okay?” She worried him. He wasn’t used to seeing her this way. She was normally spunky and vivacious. This Jules made him want to pull her into his lap and pet her.

“They are cautiously hopeful. That’s what the surgeon said. Apparently there’ve been a series of strokes and a few years’ history with dangerously high blood pressure.”

He tried not to gape at her. “You didn’t know?”

“Not until today, no. I yelled at Ethan’s wife.”

“You did?” He raised a brow, impressed.

“Well, not yelled. But I told Ethan off through her. I shouldn’t have. It’s not her fault. But I’m sick of being crapped on by people. I need to stay home where everyone loves me.”

He hugged her to his side. “They do. We do. But I’m here now and I love you.”

Her father’s wife came out a few minutes later with a guy about ten years older than Gideon was. That they’d gone in and hadn’t bothered to invite Jules burned in his gut, but she took it calmly so he let it go.

“There’s nothing else to do for now. I’m coming back in the morning. I need to get home to the boys. Do you need a ride to the hotel?”

Jules whipped her head, just a little. “I’d like to see him before I leave.”

The father-in-law shook his head. “He’s already tired and needs his rest.”

Jules pushed back. “I’m not going to play tennis with him. I just want him to know I’m here. I want to see him with my own eyes and know he’s all right.”

“You’re going to make him worse. Is that really what you want? I thought you came down here for him, not for you.”

Jules blinked at the father-in-law. “Excuse me? I’ve been here all day. I came down here because I was asked to. I resent your implication that I’d make him worse for kicks.”

The new wife stepped in after tapping her father’s arm. “Of course he didn’t say that. Your father is tired. You can see him tomorrow. He’s probably asleep by now anyway.”

Gideon didn’t hide his distaste. She’d rushed down here because this woman had begged her to and they hadn’t bothered to even courtesy invite her to stay with them. Christ.

“I’ll make sure she gets to the hotel.”

Jules squeezed the hand he’d been holding. “Donna, Bart, this is my boyfriend, Gideon. Gideon, this is my dad’s wife Donna and his father-in-law, Bart.”

He nodded his head, not bothering to offer a hand.

“We’ll see you in the morning.” Bart guided Donna out.

“I’m going to stay a while.” She looked to him. “It’s okay if you want to go get settled at the hotel.”

“Do you think I came all the way down here to leave you here on your own and go to a hotel?” He took her hand. “I’m here. Not going anywhere.”

They got settled again.

“I’m glad you’re here.” She put her head on his shoulder and he put an arm around her.

“I’m glad too. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances though.”

“I hate hospitals.”

“Why?”

“When I was seven, I was in one for several days. And then afterward I had to come back for a lot of appointments. I hate the smell. I hate the carpet. I hate the muted and yet omnipresent noise.” She shivered.

“What were you in the hospital for?”

She sat up a little. “I thought you knew.” Her laugh was humorless. “I almost drowned. If the water hadn’t been so cold I might have. Anyway, I had water in my lungs. When he threw me in the water, he missed the deepest part. I struck my head on a submerged log. Blah, blah, blah.”

He hoped his horror didn’t show on his face.

“He?”

“My dad. He’s one of those believers in the ‘throw the kid in deep water and they have to swim or else’ school. Not so much.”

He blew out a breath. “Your aversion to the ferry makes a hell of a lot more sense now. I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago. But it did leave me with an intense dislike of hospitals and deep water. I still like to run through sprinklers though.”

His parents hadn’t been perfect, but he’d been loved. He tried to imagine this scene if his father had been in the hospital and he couldn’t. They’d have all united instead of this nonsense.

He hoped anyway.

So he settled in with her, holding her close as the next hours ticked by.

It was getting into late evening when he finally stood up. “We’re going to the hotel now.”

“What if he wakes up?”

“You can’t see him anyway. Visiting hours are over. You can’t do anything. They know you’re here. They’ve got your cell number at the nurse’s station. Come on. You need a bath and to sleep for a while.”

She allowed him to pull her to stand.

“I don’t want you driving tonight. You’re beat. You can get your car tomorrow.”

•   •   •

The hotel wasn’t far and thankfully it was out of the way and quiet. He took their bags up and pushed her into the bathroom to shower while he ordered up some food.

And then he called Cal.

“How is she?” Cal answered unceremoniously.

“So tired she’s got circles under her eyes. She’s alone down here. The wife didn’t even invite her to stay at their house. Couldn’t be bothered to have her talk with the surgeon and when they went in to see John they didn’t even so much as look back to her much less ask if she wanted to see him too. Then they guilted her when she asked to see him before the new wife left. It’s a wonder no one got punched. She’s in the shower right now. I ordered some food and then I’m making her sleep.”

“Why are you still there? If it’s that screwed, bring her home. It sucks, but you can’t pick your family. You can choose walking away when they shit on you so much though. We can’t let this happen.”

“I can’t make her leave, Cal. I wish I could. I wish I could sweep her up and get her the hell away from these people. But she’s scared for her dad. She needs to make the choice to leave if that’s what she wants.”

Cal huffed a breath. “I wish I was there right now.”

“Me too. She does as well. But we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Can’t get here fast enough.”

She came out of the bathroom, hair wrapped in a towel. He turned, smiling. “I’m on with Cal; you want to talk to him?”

She nodded and took the phone.

“Hey.”

He let Cal work on her while he pulled the blankets on the bed back and fluffed the pillows.

He really did want to grab her and run for the hills. He didn’t like these people at all. Didn’t like the way they’d summoned her and she’d come and then been pretty much ignored.

She’d just finished the call by the time he’d finished washing up.

“Get in bed. Food should be here soon.”

She nodded. “I don’t have any big shirts or anything. I just packed day clothes.”

He pulled the shirt he’d been wearing off and handed it her way. “Here. All warmed up.”

She put it on and it swallowed her to her knees.

“Much better. Though I do like it when you sleep naked.”

The food arrived and once they’d eaten, she’d snuggled down in the bed and he’d put his arms around her, holding her tight, and things felt better.

“Why are you staying?” he asked after they’d turned the lights off.

“What do you mean?”

Gideon weighed just exactly how to put it and decided she deserved blunt. “Here. Why are you staying here when clearly they don’t give a crap? I’m sorry to say it. Mainly because it hurts you and I don’t want that. Let’s sleep and then tomorrow morning stop by the hospital, pick your car up and get the hell out of this place. Go home where people love you.”

“She called me for help. I didn’t think of saying ‘oh hey, keep me updated.’ I guess that’s what Ethan did. I just got on a plane to get here because he’s my father. I don’t know why she’d have called and asked me to come if she hadn’t wanted me to. I’m chalking her behavior today up to shock. If one of you guys was in the hospital I’d be a mess too.”

“You make excuses for people’s shitty manners too much.”

“I know.”

He hadn’t expected that. “You’d never take this from me or Cal, or any of our friends. Why would you take it from your family?”

“Practice maybe. I don’t know. I’m done with it though. Today when I was talking to Marci I just got mad. Like really, truly mad and I was short with her. It’s not her, though. I needed to say it to Ethan. He should be here.”

He sighed, burying his face in her hair.

“Or maybe not. Maybe he made the better choice.”

“Baby, all you can control is what
you
do. Not what anyone else does. You did the right thing and came down here. Now, as to whether or not you stay? I can’t tell you what you should do.”

She laughed, turning to face him. “You tell me what to do all the time.”

He kissed her soundly and she held on tight.

“And sometimes you listen. But that’s different. I can’t boss you around through this. You have to make your choices. I’ll give you my opinion and support you no matter what you choose. But you need to be the one to choose it. Family is a completely different situation than driving around on an empty tank of gas.”

She started to cry. He’d seen her cry with her friends. She was a woman who showed emotion, good and bad. But this was different. This was a way she cried only about her family and it tore him apart.

“I want to tell you to go. I want to tell you that I’ll pack you into the car right now and get you to the airport so we can be in our bed by noon. I want to tell you that you’ve held the post of familial whipping boy far too long. You didn’t cheat on your wife and break your family up. You didn’t disconnect from your life and essentially abandon your children and you didn’t throw a childish fit and insult your sibling. They do this to you too much. It makes me mad. It makes me want to punch people.”

“And you’re mad I didn’t tell you before I left.”

In the dark it was easier to be honest.

“I want it to be second nature for you to turn to me when you’re in need. I
know
you’re capable of handling this stuff yourself. I don’t doubt your abilities. But you don’t have to do it on your own. You’ve got me. And you’ve got Cal. I get that you were on autopilot and went with what you’ve had to do over the years. But I want to be your new habit.”

“I’ve been on my own since I was nineteen. Living on my own anyway. I’m used to doing things myself. When I don’t turn to you it’s not about you, it’s about me.” She paused, thinking carefully over her words, he knew.

“Just say it. We’ll work out the rest.”

“I’m not sure how you always know what I’m thinking.”

He kissed her forehead. “Because I love you. Because you’re not that mysterious. Just a little scared and a lot sad.”

She hugged him tight. “I love you, Gideon. So much it used to scare me. I’m sorry I didn’t turn to you right away. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. Fuck, maybe I don’t trust me. Or them.” She shivered a moment, though it wasn’t cold. “The whole thing is humiliating.”

There it was
. He breathed out, trying not to choke on his swallowed-back words of anger at her family.

“Why can’t I be enough? I’m ashamed that they treat me this way. I’m ashamed that I take it. I’m ashamed of whatever it is that makes them reject me. It’s not something I want to share. Which isn’t about you, it’s about me.”