Tarzan & Janine (14 page)

Unable to avoid the inevitable any longer, Tanner settled the eye mask over his forehead and into place, and then lay back against the cushioned headrest. As relaxed as he could get with Brumhilda about to run her hands all over his body and a camera crew waiting to zoom in on Tanner in a loincloth. There had to be a limit to what a person had to do to make a sale. He felt so...so...cheap.

Tanner heard the sound of a cap being removed and something being squirted. Then he felt cool lotion being smeared over his neck and chest in a firm, yet gentle motion. Almost as good as a massage. Tanner’s muscles relaxed. It didn’t even bother him when she worked her way down to his loincloth. Her hands were professional and efficient.

“Time to turn over.” Brigett stepped back so Tanner could maneuver onto his other side.

“Damn, I’ll have to go to my car for the other bottle of tanning lotion. It’ll only take me a minute. Wait right here.” Before Tanner could say anything, Brigett dashed from the room.

Like he’d go anywhere else with only half a tan. He probably looked like a half-baked chicken or a pancake that hasn’t been flipped. Great, and the door was unlocked. Since the lights were off, he didn’t think anyone would venture in, so he relaxed and waited for Bridgett to return.

She wasn’t gone from the room more than a few minutes when Tanner heard the door open, announcing her return.

“That was fast. What did you do, sprint?”

“Uh, yeah,” she spoke in a whisper, like she was reluctant to wake him if he’d fallen asleep.

“Let’s get this done, I’m due on the set in just a few short minutes. If I’m not on time, Janine will think I wimped out.”

“Oh, she won’t. I promise.”

Chapter Nine

Janine had been searching for Tanner since she’d arrived at Peschke Motors, only no one had seen him for the past twenty minutes. After checking with the receptionist, Janine headed for Tanner’s office, bumping into a lady carrying a tube of lotion going in the same direction.

“Excuse me, I was just looking for Tanner,” Janine said.

“
Oui
, you must be Jane.” The woman had sported a painfully fake French accent. She stuck out her hand. “I’m Bridgett, zee makeup artist assigned to bring Tanner’s tan up to par with Tarzan. I’m so excited to meet you. You’re a real celebrity, you know.”

“Thank you.” Janine cheeks heated. “But commercials aren’t really what I call acting. And by the way, my name is Janine.”

“Oh,
pardon moi
,” Bridgett said. “I saw you two on zee talk show last Saturday, and I thought you were
manufique
. You really did, how do you say, back him into a corner with zee loincloth dare.”

“Yeah.” Janine had been feeling a bit guilty about that. “I was actually looking for him to tell him I wouldn’t think any less of him if he didn’t wear the outfit.”

“No, no, don’t do zat.” Bridgett flapped her hands. “You should see him wearing zee loin cloth, with zee tanning lotion and all. If I were a younger woman, I’d be all over him.” Then as if she just remembered, she jumped. “
Sacrebleu!
I cannot stand around here talking, I have zee other side to finish before he goes on.”

Janine’s pulse had jolted into overdrive as she recalled how he looked in the dressing room. “Could I sneak a peek?” she asked.

“Girlfriend, I’ll let you finish the job, if you want.” Bridgett’s mouth curled in smirk. “He has zee nerve asking you to wear zat outfit when he would not wear one himself. It would serve him right for you to finish zee job without him knowing it.”

Butterflies cartwheeled in her belly. “Do you mean it?”

“
Oui
!” Good as her word, Bridgett had shoved the fresh tube of tanning lotion into her hands, giving her the minimal instructions necessary, then sent her into the lion’s den, or office in this case.

Seeing Tanner lying on his stomach, his face turned away, gave her the courage to advance all the way into the room. She was squirting tanning lotion on her hands when he spoke, and she almost squeezed the entire contents of the tube clear across the room.

“So what do you think of the commercials?” Tanner asked.

Lowering her voice and adding the fake French accent, Janine responded, “It is
manufique
.”

“No, really. I’d like your honest opinion.” Tanner lifted his head in an attempt to look through his mask in her direction.

Panic flipped in her gut. She shoved his head down and applied lotion to his back while scrambling for an answer to his question. “All of Austin eez watching. It must be a good indication of zee attention you and zee beautiful Jane are getting.”

“That’s the idea.” Tanner’s voice was muffled against the padding of the portable bed. “Did you like the monkey and the snake?”

“Zee monkey yes, zee snake no,” Janine answered honestly. “Why don’t you let your partner have more say?”

“I planned on it for this one. Don’t tell her I said so, but she’s built to be in front of the camera.”

Janine’s hand stopped smearing the lotion, and she felt a pang of guilt for listening into a conversation he thought he was having with Bridgett.

“Built as in a natural for film?”

“I guess, but I was thinking more of, you know, built. Legs that could stop a train, curves that never quit and a pair of–-Ouch!”

“
Sacrebleu
, I am most sorry.” Janine wasn’t sorry at all.

“I didn’t think applying tanning lotion was supposed to include being pinched.” Tanner reached up to pull off his mask.

Janine tugged his hands back down to his sides. “You must be still until zee tanning lotion is completely dry,
monsieur
.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said.

Janine clammed up and went to work to finish the job Bridgett had started. She didn’t realize how much rubbing lotion on a man’s back could stir her senses. Having worked primarily on the shoulders, she forced herself to move farther down his back to the edge of his costume riding low on his hips. She accomplished the journey in slow steady strokes, but she was breathing hard by the time her fingertips ran into the fabric of the loincloth. Just a scrap of material was all that was there, separating her from his sexy tush.

“Don’t forget the backs of my legs.” His voice startled her out of her wicked imagination, only for a second.

When Janine glanced down at his legs, she could see where Bridgett had left off. She would have to smear lotion from his ankles all the way up to...She gulped and squirted lotion onto her fingers. Starting at the farthest point, she worked the tanning cream into his ankles and up his calves. Muscles bunched then loosened as her fingers worked their magic.

Janine kept a tight leash on her hands, but her mind hopped leaps and bounds ahead of her actions. What would it feel like to touch her lips to the backs of his thighs? If this stuff was edible icing instead of tanning lotion, would he be as turned on as she was and maybe let her lick it off?

She was now up to the backs of Tanner’s knees with her own mind turning to mush. A little farther and she’d have it all done. More lotion on her hands and she was working her way up the outsides of his thighs. That was safe enough, but she still had one more area to cover. By now, her cheeks must be flushed. Reaching over his leg, she ran her hands up the insides of his thigh, pushing upward to the edge of his costume almost touching his—

A hand shot out and grabbed hers. “That’s close enough. I’m sure the camera isn’t gonna zoom in there.”

Janine checked his eye mask. Whew! It was still in place, and he probably still thought Bridgett was doing the tan.

“I must say, you do a helluva job applyin’ tanning lotion, Bridgett.” Tanner shifted on the table.

“Uh,
merci
,” Janine said.

“Are you available on Saturday for a repeat performance?”

Janine’s lips tightened. Why the arrogant so and so! “No, no,
monsieur
, I do not date clients.” She squirted more lotion on her fingertips.

When her fingers met with his back, he jumped. “I thought you were done with that stuff.”

“
Oui
, only a few spots zat needed a touch up.” She worked quickly to finish the job, adding icing to the cake or insult to injury depending on your point of view. Dropping her fake French accent, Janine smiled then smacked him on the fanny. “There now, Tarzan, you look more like you belong on that commercial with me.”

“Janine?” Tanner sat up and pulled off the mask, all in one motion.

Dropping the empty tube, Janine sprinted for the door, leaving a confused Tanner struggling to get off the collapsible bed.

Metal squealed.

Janine turned back in time to see the middle of the bed buckle.

* * *

After struggling for a few minutes to free his finger from the collapsed portable bed and get to his feet, Tanner threw a sheet around his mostly naked body and dashed out the door after Janine.

What was she thinking playing games with him? She’d invaded his privacy and lied about who she was. He slowed a little as he recalled her hands smoothing lotion on his back and up his thighs. Knowing it was Janine made a big difference. Bridgett was nice, but Janine...

As he traipsed through the showroom in nothing more than a sheet, Tanner was the object of many good-natured catcalls and general harassment from the salesmen.

“Hey, Tanner, I thought this was a jungle theme, not a Roman toga party. If I’d have known, I’d have worn mine.”

“Woooohoooooo! Look at those legs.”

“Kinda hairy if you ask me.”

Tanner glared in their direction and, without a word, headed for the car lot and Janine. He had a bone to pick with her. Who did she think she was, sneaking into his office and pulling a stunt like that? And to think he had been ready to declare his love to the magical fingers of Bridgett when it had been Janine all along.

As soon as he stepped through the doors of the showroom and out into the car lot, he was pounced upon by one of the camera crew. “Where have you been? We were practically frantic. You only have a minute to get in place. Hurry.”

“But—”

“No buts, you need to get over there by Janine and the elephant. And for godsakes, lose the sheet. You look more like Julius Caesar than Tarzan. And one more thing, we only have the one microphone, so you’ll have to hand Janine the mike when it’s her turn to talk.”

Commercials had been the only places Tanner had ever felt confident and in control, until today. Shoved into place next to the towering elephant, Tanner wore nothing more than the equivalent of his underwear. He struggled to get his bearings.

“The elephant’s name is Fifi.” The trainer stood beside him.

“Fifi? What kind of name is that for an elephant? I’m supposed to say ‘Down, Simba’ not ‘Down, Fifi’.” Irritation tightened his jaw. “What kind of Tarzan do you take me for? All of Austin will be laughin’ out loud.”

The trainer gave him a sideways glance at the brief costume. “Don’t go blaming it on the elephant. Besides, the wife named her and that’s all she goes by. If you want to get her attention, you’ll have to call her Fifi.”

“Fifi.” Tanner tugged at his too-tight loincloth. “Great, I’m wearin’ an outfit no self-respecting Texan would be caught dead in, and my co-starrin’ elephant’s name is Fifi.”

“I think Fifi is a lovely name.” Janine patted the elephant’s trunk.

A tap on his shoulder had Tanner turning around. “Huh?” Fifi’s trunk waved in his face, snuffling his hair, searching for hay or whatever elephants ate.

Tanner frowned, pushed the trunk aside, and tried to unwrap the sheet from around his body. “Janine, could you keep this oversized poodle from interferin’ so I can get naked for the camera?”

“You’re the commercial mastermind, you figure it out.” She crossed her arms across her Jane-clad breasts.

Damn, the woman was sexy. Even when she was mad. “We need to talk.” He gave her a brief, pointed look.

Finally, he loosened the end of the sheet from where he had tucked it. A waft of warm air blew across his back, and the next thing he knew the elephant had grabbed the sheet from around him and yanked it clear. Since he was still wrapped, the motion spun him until he was completely free of the fabric.

His hands, microphone and all, automatically assumed the fig-leaf position as Tanner’s face burned.

The cameraman yelled, “You’re on!”

Cursing a thousand curses in his head, Tanner took a deep breath, lifted the microphone to his lips, and attempted a smile.

“Hi, I’m Tanner Peschke of Peschke Motors back to tell you about the huge savings you’ll get when you buy a used car from Peschke Motors. Are you feeling exposed—”

Fifi nuzzled Tanner’s neck, distracting him from the lines he’d memorized. “Down, Fifi,” Tanner hissed to the side, then into the mic, he smiled and continued, “—exposed to high-pressure sales talk and deals that make you want to trumpet your frustrations?”