Taste of Reality (11 page)

“I realize that, but one of the things I like about human resources is that it allows you to interact with people on all levels. I love working with people, and I think that will help when I’m faced with the responsibility of having to terminate or reject someone.”

“Maybe, but somehow I still think you’re seeing this job through rose-colored glasses.”

“Well, unfortunately, I have to disagree with you.”

Jim gazed at me and then at the sheet of paper in front of him.

“Where do you see yourself in five years? Still working here at Reed Meyers? Still living in Mitchell? Or do you have plans to relocate if something better comes along?”

“If I’m selected for this promotion, I would hope to still be working as the corporate HR recruiting manager or in your position if you’re promoted to operations.”

Jim grunted in disbelief.

He was making this more difficult by the minute.

“Do you have any questions for me?” he asked without interest.

“Actually, I do,” I said, pulling out my list of five questions. “How many candidates applied for this position?” I knew the answer, but I wanted to hear him tell me.

“Three.” No elaboration.

“Am I the last person to be interviewed?”

“Yes.”

The look on his face said that I was wasting his precious time.

But I continued.

“I know the low portion of the salary range is around forty-eight, the mid is around fifty-eight, and that it tops out at sixty-eight. Right now I’m earning just over thirty-eight thousand dollars, so would I start right at the beginning of the range, or is there a chance I would start somewhat higher than that?” I knew that going from thirty-eight thousand to forty-eight would mean a twenty-six percent increase, and that they’d never start me out any higher than that, but I still wanted an answer. I wanted him to know that I was aware not only of their hiring and promoting practices but also of their pay scales, because last night it dawned on me that they could be discriminating against employees in that respect, too.

“Probably,” he said.

But since I didn’t know which part of my question he was answering, I said, “Probably, meaning . . . ?”

“Probably, meaning you would definitely start at the beginning of the range.”

I couldn’t believe how irritated he’d become, but I continued.

“I found quite a few HR manager training conferences that are coming up and was wondering if you’d allow me to attend one of them if I’m selected?”

“Maybe. We’d have to make sure it was beneficial for both you and the company.”

At least he’d spoken a full sentence this time. But I wondered how he was going to respond to my final query.

“Since I’m the last person to be interviewed and I’m the only candidate who has a bachelor’s degree, master’s degree and four years of solid HR experience, how soon do you think you’ll be making your decision?”

“You are really a piece of work.”

“What do you mean by that?” I spoke strongly.

“Never mind. We’ll be making our decision within the next week or so.”

“Can you tell me why it’s going to take so long?”

“Because we have to evaluate everyone’s qualifications thoroughly. And if that’s all you have for me, then I guess this interview is over.”

“You know, Jim,” I said, standing up, “this is the first interview I’ve ever had where the person asking the questions didn’t take any notes after I answered them.”

“I don’t think any two people conduct interviews the same way.”

“Maybe not, but then I guess since you know I’m the most qualified candidate, it’s not like you needed to take notes anyway, did you?”

I turned and walked out without looking back, and at that moment I knew I might as well start searching for a Chicago attorney. I’d have to go to Chicago because too many CEOs, attorneys and physicians in Mitchell golfed and ate dinner together. There was a risk that someone would be paid off, and I couldn’t chance that.

I arrived back in my office and, once again, hadn’t noticed anyone or anything. I was shutting my door but Lorna stopped me. So I let her in and then closed it.

“So how did it go?”

“Not too well. Not well at all,” I said sadly.

“Dirty bastard. I knew he was going to do this to you.”

“He hasn’t done anything yet, but I do think you were right when you said they would never give me the job.”

“Did he try to intimidate you?”

“He tried to, but it didn’t stop me from asking him every question I wanted an answer to. He was very rude the entire time, though, and you know, Lorna, it really hurts to know that he’s treating me this way because the color of my skin is not acceptable to him.”

I felt my eyes filling up. I’d felt humiliated and unappreciated a number of times while working at Reed Meyers, but today was worse than any time I could remember. Jim had basically looked me in the eye and silently told me that my qualifications didn’t matter, that he was going to choose who he wanted to, and that there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

Lorna pulled a couple of tissues from the box on my desk and passed them to me. Then she reached out her hand. “Honey, you’ve got to do what I told you. You’ve got to fight for what they’re trying to take from you.”

I sniffled and wiped my face, but I was too shaken to talk.

“Do you hear what I’m saying to you, Anise?” she asked softly.

I nodded in agreement.

“Good. This is not going to be easy, but I promise you, it’ll be worth it in the end. It will stop them from getting away with all this bias.”

I listened but didn’t speak.

So Lorna said, “I have an afternoon class that I have to get ready for, but are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” I told her, but I knew I wasn’t telling the truth.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Go do what you have to do.”

“Honey, call me if you need me, and even if you have to get me out of my class, that will be fine too.”

“Thanks, Lorna,” I said, and forced a smile on my face.

She closed my door behind her.

As soon as she did, I bawled like a teething baby.

* * *

Monica had left me a message, wanting to make sure that I was still meeting her at the gym. But after my session with Jim, I was no longer in the mood for working out, so I told her that maybe we could go tomorrow. She asked me about what was going on the same as she always did, and when I told her about my interview, she said she’d be at my house as soon I arrived home from work. I was glad because I didn’t feel like being alone. She’d even called Mom and asked her to drive over as well. The three of us sat downstairs in the family room.

“I know I always say this, but things really will get better with time,” Mom tried to convince me.

“I agree with you, Emma,” Monica added. “Things always feel much worse than they actually are.”

I listened to both of them and wished I could believe what they were saying. I wanted to so desperately, but hearing that everything was going to be okay, that God would eventually work things out, and that time could heal all wounds wasn’t exactly brightening my spirits. However, I knew they meant well.

“I hear what both of you are saying, but the fact is, David has left me for another woman, and Reed Meyers is going to deny giving me a promotion for the second time in six months. My marriage and my career are my life, so what am I supposed to do now that both of them are ruined?”

“Honey, even though David is gone now, it doesn’t mean he’s gone for good,” Mom said.

“But, Mom, even if he did want to come back, I don’t even know if I could forgive him. And I can tell you right now, I will never be able to forget it.”

“Never say never,” Monica chimed in. “Although I do understand why it will be hard to forgive him. Especially since he left you for a white girl.”

Monica had lost her first love to a white girl when we were in college, and had despised interracial dating ever since.

“What the two of you keep forgetting is that, yes, I’m hurt, but it’s not because I’m desperately in love with David or that I can’t live without him. It’s more because he fell in love with someone else, and I didn’t have an alternate plan like he did.”

“I hate seeing you go through this,” Monica said.

“I hate it too,” I said. “But this is the reality.”

“Why is it that men can’t be satisfied with one woman for longer than a few years?” Mom asked. “Some can’t even be faithful from the start of a relationship let alone anything else.”

“Not every man is like that,” I said, because I was still convinced that it truly was possible to be happily married until death.

“No,” Mom responded. “You’re right. Not every man is like that, but every decent black man I know is either married or in a long-standing relationship. Which is also why I would have no problem crossing over if the right white man came along.”

“What?” I said.

“What nothing,” she said as serious as could be. “You know I’ve never had a problem with interracial dating anyway.”

“I know, but you’ve never said you were interested in doing it yourself.”

“Well, when you get to be fifty-eight like me, all you want is to be happy. And if being happy means I have to date a little differently than I have in the past, then so be it.”

Monica frowned. “Emma, I just don’t see how you could do that. I mean, isn’t it enough just knowing that white men forced themselves on slave women, and that white women secretly had sex with our men, who sometimes lost their lives for it? Because I know you saw
Mandingo
.”

“Girl, nobody’s thinking about that. This is the twenty-first century. I’m not saying I agree with what went on in the past, because I don’t. But I’m not going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on it either, because I haven’t had a decent man in my life since I divorced Anise’s father. And that was fifteen years ago.”

“I guess, but I could never date anyone other than a black man. Even if it meant spending the rest of my life alone.”

“It’s easy to preach that when you have a
good
black man like you do,” Emma continued.

“But even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t go that route,” Monica said, trying to convince her.

“Uh-huh,” Mom teased. “I bet.”

I laughed as they seesawed back and forth like mother and daughter, but I wasn’t about to side with either one of them. Two weeks ago, I would have agreed with Monica in a heartbeat, but my new feelings for Frank had changed my way of thinking.

They kept debating, but we never discussed the interview I was so upset over this afternoon. Which, as I recall, was the main reason the two of them rushed right over here. They’d come to console me, but now they were making me laugh, and for the time being, I felt a lot better. My problems were still unresolved, but I knew Mom was right about what she’d said earlier.

Things would get better with time.

They had to.

S
O HOW MUCH MORE
are they going to take out of our weekly paychecks?” Tony, one of the drill operators, asked me regarding the additional life insurance plan we were now going to offer through a new company.

I was conducting a benefits Q&A session for the hourly employees in the manufacturing break room. Elizabeth and I had decided last year that it was a good idea to schedule something each quarter so employees could express their concerns.

“It will depend on your age, sex, health and how much additional coverage you choose. Every person’s situation will be different, but the schedule of premiums for individuals and families is listed on the sheet I’m passing around right now.”

“What if I mark down that I’m twenty-five even though I’m fifty, do you think I could get away with that?” Tony asked, and the entire first shift roared.

I laughed right along with them, because the shop employees always knew how to have a good time. They didn’t take things as seriously as we did in the office. They were laid back and totally
down to earth. Most of us were stuffy and spent far too much time trying to compete with each other. I loved working with them, and Jim was right when he said “those people” loved me. They loved me because I had worked hard to make their lives at Reed Meyers as comfortable as possible. Maybe Jim was right about something else, too. Maybe I actually did connect with them because my parents worked in factories. But that still didn’t give him the right to keep me in a particular position.

“No, Tony, I don’t think you’d be able to get away with that, so I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Just checkin’, ma’am,” he said, still enjoying himself. “Because I’ll bet the premium on a twenty-five-year-old is much cheaper than what it’ll be for an old buck like me.”

We all chuckled again, but I thought I’d better start winding down the meeting. We’d been in here for forty-five minutes, and I’d already gone over everything I needed to.

“Well, if that’s it, then I just want to remind all of you again that open enrollment begins in less than two weeks. If you choose the same health carriers, then your enrollment will automatically renew and you won’t have to do anything. But if you decide to go with another plan, then you’ll have to complete the appropriate forms to do so. Representatives from each insurance company will be here during the first week, so if you have additional questions, you can ask them at that time. Also, there will be a Merrill Lynch rep on hand for those of you who are interested in starting a 401(k) plan, and if you already have an account, you can increase your percentage at that time as well. Actually, you can make an increase on an existing account anytime throughout the year, but a lot of people like to do it during open enrollment, because the reps are here to answer questions.”

Everyone sat at attention and a few employees spoke among themselves. I’d scheduled this meeting at the end of their shift, and they were obviously ready to punch out.

“Well, if there aren’t any other questions, then I guess that’s it.”

“Thanks, Anise,” Billy said with a southern Kentucky drawl.

“Yeah, thanks, Anise,” Willy spoke loudly with the same tone of humor.