Tattered Innocence (25 page)

After lunch, Jake barked, “Reef the main.
Take down the genoa. Be ready to drop all sail when I give the
word.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” She spit back. So much
for being in love.

He caught her arm. “We’ll talk later.”

“Can’t wait.”

Something rocked Rachel side to side as the
clanking and whizzing of the Travel Lift quieted in her ears.
Shushing and rhythmic thumping took their place, leaving her
sobbing, bereft.

“It’s okay, Rae, I’m here. It’s only a
dream.” Jake’s whispered words fell into her ear with the warmth of
his breath.

Her eyes blinked open. Moonlight beamed
through the porthole onto Jake’s face, inches from hers. Had he
escaped Gabrielle and the Travel Lift?

“Jake?” her voice croaked out.

“I’m here. You had a nightmare.” Jake
cradled her head against his T-shirt, rocking her. A hand soothed
her head.

The previous day speared her like a dozen
cortisone needles. The talk they’d never had. The one where Jake
would tell her he accepted her resignation.

“You screamed my name. Do you want to tell
me about it?” He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his
shirt.

She should sit up, relieve Jake of
comforting her so he could go back to sleep, but his body cradling
her felt too good. “It’s the same dream I’ve been having all week.
You’re tangled in the Travel Lift straps, headed for the water, and
I can’t save you.”

He gathered her closer. “I promise not to go
near the Travel Lift for another three years.” He kissed the corner
of her eye, the bridge of her nose. “Thanks for worrying about me.”
His lips touched her ear, her chin.

His mouth was so close she could almost kiss
him. Right now, she didn’t care how much pain might come from it
later.

She closed the distance between them.

Jake’s lips were placid against hers.

Didn’t he want to kiss her? What were all
those little kisses about?

But then his lips caressed hers, gentle,
comforting.

She wound her arms around him and pulled him
closer, the fear from her dream driving her.
I love you. I will
always love you.
The kiss deepened, and she melted into it.

He tasted faintly of toothpaste and smelled
like ocean. Her breath and heart sped, her fingers dug into his
T-shirt. She touched skin. Jake moaned and folded his arms around
her, pressing her to his chest. Maybe… maybe he loved her, too.

Jake ended the kiss, eased her from him, and
stood.

Jake’s rejection doused her euphoria. It was
a mercy kiss because she’d had a nightmare. Yesterday flooded
back—his infatuation had ended. She’d just made a total fool of
herself because she’d woken up in his arms.

Jake slid off her bunk and rubbed the sleep
from his eyes. He reached for his pillow, one foot braced on the
bottom step.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“To sleep in the fore cabin.”

Rachel flopped her sweatpants-clad legs over
the side of her bunk. “You can’t even stand to sleep in the same
room with me now?” She tried to keep the anguish out of her voice,
but failed. “Is there something specific I said or did to tick you
off yesterday, or is it just me in general you’re over?”

“What are you talking about?” Jake scrubbed
his fingers through his hair, leaving it a jumbled mess. “We just
had that smoking hot kiss and you think I’m over you?”

She jabbed a finger at his pillow. “You’re
leaving. You grumped at me all day yesterday.”

“I was a bear—”

“I’m sorry I don’t want to be your business
partner—”

“This isn’t about business. It’s about what
you are or aren’t wearing under that hideous New Smyrna Beach High
sweatshirt.”

Her mouth dropped open.

Jake held up a hand. “No, don’t tell me, or
I won’t sleep tonight either.”

Rachel pulled out the tails of her cami and
T-shirt, her whole body flushing. Could Jake want her? Really want
her?

Jake rolled his eyes. “Three layers?”

She held up four fingers. The sports bra
she’d worn under her basketball jersey in warm weather had stuck
around for winter sleepwear.

“Thank God. Last night I laid out the entire
advertising campaign for next year and still couldn’t sleep.”

Whoa.
Jake was that attracted to her
and he didn’t act on it? Bret never showed that kind of respect for
her.

He leaned a hand on the bunk on either side
of her, and her breath stopped. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk
yesterday. You know it’s not your fault, right? We’ll get through
this. I’d rather have you right here than anywhere else on the
planet.”

Kiss me.

But he hooked an elbow around her neck,
pressed his lips against her temple, and left the cabin.

Jake crawled between the clammy sheets of
the seldom-used fore cabin bunk and grabbed the blanket he’d folded
and stowed at the foot of the mattress this morning. No sex had
been a whole lot easier before he’d seen passion pooling in
Rachel’s eyes.

She was a church girl, the kind Gramps would
have approved. Their kiss at the hurricane hole had unhinged her.
He was certain of one thing: he didn’t want to be a source of guilt
for her like Bret had been.

Somebody had to slow down their runaway
train tonight, and Rachel clearly hadn’t been up to the task. He
just hoped she didn’t freak out over this kiss. He shook his head.
A guy would have to be crazy not to take the kisses Rachel
dished.

Rachel curled up next to the wheel in the
cockpit listening to Jake give Leaf the rundown on their cruise.
The bunks had been stripped and the laundry bagged, ready to load
into the dock cart. Four nights of restless sleep weighed down her
eyelids. She held them open, glancing at Leaf on the finger pier, a
clear plastic bag of mangoes in his hand.

Jake stood on the other side of the wheel,
digging in his pocket for his phone that chirped the T-Mobile ring
tone. He peered at the display window and flipped the phone open.
“Ned! Hey, bro. Long time, no talk…. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. You
could have called me, too, you know.”

Leaf held up the mangoes and motioned toward
The Escape
, then stepped aboard his boat.

Jake nodded. “Yeah, I was planning on coming
home for Christmas, anyway.”

Rachel’s eyes drifted shut. A rest over
Christmas sounded great after a week like this one.

“What? No can do. She
moved back to Arizona, like, seven months ago….
”

Jake was quiet so long she slit her eyes to
see if he’d hung up.

He stared at the coaming, the phone still
pressed to his hear, his expression bleak. “Okay, okay. Maybe.
Don’t get your hopes up.”

Jake flipped his phone shut and rubbed his
face in his hands.

His eyes veered to hers and back to the
coaming. “I have a favor to ask—a big one.”

Her fingers curled around the cockpit
cushion.

“My brother, Ned, wants me to bring a female
home for Christmas.” He held out his palms. “Mom’s been in a funk
since my wedding was called off. My siblings think she’d cheer up
if she saw that I was moving on with my life….”

“Are you—moving on with your life?”

His gaze bore into her. “Yeah, I am.”

She didn’t want to think about what he
meant. “So, I’d be human Prozac?”

“Come to Indianapolis with me for a week.
Ned thinks seeing me with a girl will give Mom hope that one of us
will eventually produce offspring.”

“If Ned’s so concerned about your mother,
why doesn’t
he
produce a girl?”

“He’s too shy to even date. Besides, I
want
you to come.” Jake grabbed her hands. “Please,
Rae.”

He touched his forehead to hers. “I met your
family.”

“Yeah, but they don’t live a thousand miles
away.”

“You’re always saying how boring New Smyrna
Beach is. Indianapolis is an up and coming tourism hot spot.” He
lifted his head and wiggled his brows.

“Don’t make me laugh while I’m saying no.”
She laughed anyway.

“Please?” His hands still gripped hers, his
pleading eyes inches away.

“When?”
I’m going to regret this.

“You’ll come?”

For a moment she was back in the kitchen on
Thanksgiving, awash in Jake’s gratitude. “Against my better
judgment.”

He swung her around in a hug before she knew
what was happening. “It won’t be so bad. You’ll
like
my
family. I do.”

Over his shoulder, Leaf shot them a
thumbs-up, mango juice dripping from his hand.

Easy for him to say. He hadn’t just agreed
to meet the family of a guy whose rebound would eventually
fizzle.

Rachel squinted at a woman in a familiar
patchwork sweater, who waved her hands at a stocky man as they
talked near the gate to the dock. It must be an early arrival for
today’s cruise, in a sweater like Mom’s.

The two weeks since she told Jake she’d go
home with him for Christmas had fast-forwarded in a blur of work.
Jake’s eyes found her a thousand times a day, even when a novice
sailor manned the helm. He’d changed their sleeping location to the
bunks on either side of the main salon, so he could get some sleep,
he said.

His nightly forehead kisses before they
crawled into their new bunks hardly satisfied her, but they kept
her emotions from erupting. If she didn’t know better, she’d think
Jake acted like a man in love. She squashed down the thought.
Believing Jake loved her would only exponentially worsen the day he
woke up from his infatuation.

The pair stopped midway on the dock. Their
conversation escalated but was still too far away for Rachel to
pick out words. A straight-haired version of herself pointed toward
the boat. The man glanced at the
Queen
.

Ice water of recognition shot through
Rachel’s veins. A hundred yards away, Mama argued with Rachel’s
nightmare—the thick-necked man who once drove a black Corvette.

Jake flipped his phone shut, calculating how
much it would cost to make good on the summer crewing job he’d just
lobbed to Keenan. If he kept making gut decisions like this, he’d
never turn much of a profit.

But he had to smile. Keenan sounded like
he’d just made varsity center at the offer. Jake couldn’t make up
for the kid’s absent dad, but he’d make a difference. Gramps would
be proud.

He glanced at the ship’s clock. Guests would
board in twenty minutes.

If Rachel insisted on quitting, he could use
Keenan’s crewing as a bargaining chip to get her to stay until
school let out. Five extra months to convince her she belonged on
the
Queen.
With him. If Rachel didn’t quit, they still had
plenty of work to keep Keenan busy all summer.

His brother’s crazy idea of taking Rachel
home for Christmas could turn out to be genius. His family’s brand
of dysfunction—keeping a close eye on Mom’s moods—had a plus. He
and Ned especially remembered the years she grieved for Dad. If
Rachel connected with his family and lost her wariness about him—so
much the better.

Rachel clung to the lifeline, staring at her
mother in the distance.

Jake exited the companionway. His forehead
crinkled. “You look funny. Sick. What’s wrong?”

Jake stepped over the coaming and guided her
to the cockpit bench. She melted onto the seat.

“Mom.” She chinned toward the dock. “Oh God,
she’s coming this way.”

Mama padded up the finger pier, an enormous
shoulder bag thumping against her hip.

Thick Neck barreled toward the parking
lot.

Mama shot them a strained smile. “Hey, kids.
Got room for one more this week?”

Jake crossed the gangplank and took her
tote. “You bet, Mrs. M.”

Rachel’s eyes jumped to Jake’s. They had
fully booked the cruise.

His eyes telegraphed,
I’ve-got-it-under-control
.

“What are you doing here, Mom?”

Mama sighed. “Long story. I’ll tell you
later.”

Jake vaulted through the companionway onto
the first step. “Follow me, and I’ll show you to your bunk. Sorry
we don’t have any staterooms left.”

Rachel watched Jake give away his bunk.

Rachel ran ragged the rest of the day until
after dinner, stuffing all her questions back inside. Sunset
streaked orange fingers across purple sky by the time she dropped
down beside Mama on the transom.

Mama dangled her feet over the stern,
staring at the
Queen’s
wake.

Rachel rubbed her back. “Why are you
here?”

Mama startled. “Sorry, honey, I was
thinking.”

Jake brought the
Queen
about and
started on a new tack.

Rachel sat beside Mama. “I recognized that
guy on the dock. You held hands with him behind the refrigerator
door when I was ten.”

“You remembered a man’s face and a
two-second touch all these years?”

Rachel stared at her mirror image waiting
for an explanation.

Mama sighed. “Skye said his marriages failed
because he’s always been in love with me. I had to at least talk to
him. But your father told me not to come back if I walked out of
the house.”

“Probably because last time you met Skye you
didn’t come home for eleven days.”

Mamma’s face drained of color. She stared at
her knees. “I should have known that if you remembered the touch,
you would have figured out the rest.”

“Are you leaving Dad?” Rachel grabbed her
stomach. Over, just like that? Had Thanksgiving been their last
holiday as a family? “Are you and Skye….” She couldn’t even get the
words out.

“After the huge fight Dad and I had, I
couldn’t go home, so I came to the
Queen
to sort out my
thoughts
.
Even furious with your father, I’m not going
anywhere with Skye.” She cupped Rachel’s cheek. “I’m so sorry. I
had no idea you knew about Skye.”