Tattoo (7 page)

FOURTEEN

The next big decision I made on my own. It was two weeks before Lauren was supposed to move in. I was walking down Main St. and had planned on picking up some things for the baby's nursery after work, when I passed this little antique shop. Any other day I would have kept walking, but that day something caught my eye. It shined from inside the glass case, a diamond ring. I decided to temporarily abandon my baby shopping and instead headed into the shop. 

A kind looking woman greeted me from behind the counter. "Can I help you young man?"

I had no idea what I was doing, but something inside of me apparently did, because all of a sudden my mouth was moving independently from my brain.

"Yea, I was looking for an engagement ring for my girlfriend." I was? I hadn't even thought about it before stepping foot in the shop. But before I backed away from my statement, I thought about it. I loved Lauren more than I could even imagine. With her I had accidentally created a family, which was true, but I had found a family. Maybe getting pregnant had been a blessing, a way to tie us together forever or maybe it was a huge mistake that just happened to be going ok for us, luckily. But whatever it was, whatever the reason, it felt so right. It felt, for the first time, that even off the mound, I had something to wake up for. To make me smile every day. Something to make my heart beat every day. And I was unwilling to give that up.

"Well, we have lots to choose from right here." She pulled out some trays of rings. They were sparking and beautiful. I could easily see why girls got so obsessed with those rings. But none of those were what I was looking for.

"Actually, I saw a ring in your front window, a diamond one. Could I see that one?"

"Ah, yes that ring is very special." She shuffled away to the front window and picked up the ring. "Now in an antique store, almost every piece that comes into my store has a story. This one is a very special story."

She shuffled back to me and handed the ring over. I turned it in my fingers letting the diamond play with the light. The gold shone brightly against it. "What's the story?"

"Well, this ring was given as an engagement ring back in the 1940s. The boy and the girl had been dating for a year. They were young and completely in love. He proposed to her and she said yes. But when she went home to tell her parents, they were less than thrilled. They told her she couldn't marry him. See, back then, it was unacceptable to marry someone of a different faith. Well, he was Jewish and her family was very devout Catholic. So she broke it off, but he had her keep the ring."

I stopped twisting it and looked up at her. "What happened to them?" I asked her.

"Well, I don't exactly know what happened to him, but she never married. She stayed in love with him until the day she passed away. I suppose she would have wanted to be buried with the ring, but no one found it until they were cleaning out her apartment. Her nieces decided to bring it into my shop so that maybe someday it would be in a wedding. That ring is full of so much love, it's painfully beautiful."

I nodded. It really was. "How much is it?" I knew I had a limited budget and I probably wouldn't be able to afford something this nice.

"You look young, how old are you?" she asked kindly. 

"I'm 18, I just graduated."

"Ah, young and in love." she nodded. "Are you sure you are ready for this?"

I looked down at the ring again. I pictured losing Lauren from my life just like the other guy had. "Yes, I'm sure." I almost told her that Lauren was pregnant and we were already becoming more ready for most things than others our age but I stopped myself. Pregnancy or not, I knew that one day I'd be proposing to Lauren.  And I knew this ring needed to be the one. I smiled at her.

She looked me up and down, appraising me as she would one of her pieces of jewelry. "Yes, I do think you know what you are doing. Tell you what, I will sell you the ring for $500."

My mouth gaped open. That was it? $500? "Ma’am, please. This ring must be worth way more than that."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," she nodded sadly. "But I'm one of her nieces. I want this ring to go to someone special. It deserves it."

I paid for part of the ring that day, and spent the next few weeks paying it off. I had already figured out the perfect plan to propose, the day that our baby would be born. But I still had one obstacle left to tackle. I knew I had to ask her dad for his permission. 

I called him one day, asking if he would come over to the apartment. I was nervous as hell, because, who wouldn't be? I had already knocked her up, now I was asking to take her away. I hadn't imagined doing this so young, but I had no doubts that Lauren and I would make it through. I just hoped her dad had the same visions for our future as I did. 

Her dad walked through the door unannounced. He was wearing his work clothes and carrying his tool box. I hadn't told him I needed his help with work, but I hadn't not told him either. I figured it was the best way to get him over to see me. He looked me up and down, nice jeans, button up shirt. Definitely not my work clothes, which are usually baggy sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a backwards hat. I registered his look of surprise.

"I'm guessing you didn't call me over to work." He put down his tool box.

I shook my head no.  "Wanna have a seat?"

He looked me up and down and a new look replaced the one of surprise, it looked a lot like understanding. He came in and took a seat in one of the kitchen chairs. I cleared my throat, not even knowing how to begin. I'm usually a pretty straight shooter and I usually get what I aim to get. I was a nationally ranked athlete, I have done every girl I've wanted to do, and I got the only girl I've ever loved to fall in love with me. So I've had a pretty good track record. But looking at her dad sitting across from me, I knew there was one more thing I wanted. His approval. 

"Sir, I wanted you to know that I'm sorry I messed things up so badly for Lauren." I was a little surprised at myself that that's where I started but words were coming out and I was powerless to stop them. "She's so smart, so amazing, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that she has as bright of a future as she would have without the baby coming."

He nodded, so I figured it was a good sign. I kept going.

"I want you to know how much I love and respect your daughter. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know that nothing is ever going to change the way I feel about her, about the family we are starting." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the box. I opened it facing me, took a deep breath and turned it to face him. 

"With your permission, I'd like to ask Lauren to marry me."

He looked at the ring for a very long time. Then he looked up at me with eyes that I couldn't seem to read.

"There are many reasons that we were upset by Lauren's pregnancy," he started slowly. "One of which was, because the story was all too familiar. We had Lauren when we were young, not as young as you guys, but young enough that we weren't ready yet. I loved her mother more than anything on Earth. We had one hell of a time, especially when Lauren was a baby; with money, raising a child, being thrown into the world of adulthood before we were ready. I didn't want to see Lauren have to struggle the way we did."

I tried to hide my surprise and nodded along. I didn't know what to say during his pause but I didn't need to think of anything because he continued.

"Another reason was because Lauren has had a lot of pain in her past. I'm guessing it's things she hasn't been ready to tell you yet, so don't push her on it." He looked me dead in the eye, making it a command, not a request. "She'll tell you when she's ready."

"So before I give you my answer," he continued, "I need to know that when it gets hard, when it seems impossible to get through one night, when you want to do nothing but leave the apartment and never look back, you'll stop and remember how much you're telling me you love her. You won't hurt my little girl."

"Never sir, I promise."

"Good," he said and patted my shoulder. "Because I have guns, and I know how to use them."

I didn't know whether to hide or to laugh. But he cracked a smile and I let the air run out of me.

"She really is going to love that ring," he told me.

FIFTEEN

By the end of July the apartment had surprisingly become livable and Lauren moved in the first week in August, just like we planned. I was feeling a lot more confident about what was about to happen.

Lauren had decided that there was no point in having a baby shower. She was convinced the only person that would actually show up was her mom. So we had gone shopping instead, on one rainy Saturday, and had our own little shower. Her mom had come along and we celebrated the new baby in our own way. I had worked for weeks to repaint the walls, put together furniture, and decorate it. I had finished it the night before she moved in with an all-night working spree. I was exhausted and full of paint but I was completely amped up to show her the room. I dragged her into the apartment before any of the boxes made it in, covered her eyes and led her to the door. I placed her in front of the closed door, which had a bright pink bow, and I took off her blindfold. 

"It's done?" she asked. A smile playing on her lips.

"Ready for baby," I told her returning her smile.

She opened the door to a room that greeted her with warmth and ballerina pink. Teddy bears sat on a rocker in the corner. The crib, I had stained a dark brown, to match the baby's new changing table. I had blankets, and toys, and a closet full of clothes. "I wasn't sure if we should put in a rug.." I started wondering if I should have covered the hard-wood floors.

"Shh...it's perfect.  It's absolutely perfect." She started involuntarily rubbing her belly. 

Her eyes roamed the room, she took it all in, and then took it all in again. Each time her eyes saw something new, she lit up all over again. I watched her smile grow wider and wider, and I watched the tears spill from her eyes.

"Eric, I can't thank you enough.."

It was my turn to cut her off, and I did it in my favorite fashion, sealing my lips over hers. "It was my pleasure," I told her when I finally let her go. 

"Mom, Dad, you have to see the nursery!" Lauren called out. Her smile spread even wider as her mom and dad stepped inside.

"Oh Eric, it's beautiful!" her mother cried.

"Nice job son," her father said and shook my hand. Son, he'd called me son. I couldn't remember the last time my own parents had taken credit for me and called me a son. I hadn't even spoken to my parents since my graduation, where we exchanged about ten words among the three of us.

"Thank you," was all I could manage to say. 

Her dad looked me in the eye and gave me a nod. "Well, let's get these boxes in," her dad said and walked back outside.

Lauren followed behind, grabbing my hand and squeezing it as she passed. I started to head out of the room, as Lauren's mom stopped me, "You know, after she moves in, you won't have to drive to our house to sneak in through the window anymore," she winked at me.

My mouth fell open a little bit. I thought I had been so careful and so quiet. "Don't worry," she continued, "Phil has no idea." she laughed a little at that.

"Janice, you guys going to stay chatting and let Lauren do all the lifting?" her dad shouted from outside.

She patted my cheek and headed out the door. I picked up my jaw and laughed a little. This family never ceased to amaze me.

When the boxes were all inside, and Lauren's mom had cried a little, we ordered pizza and sat around my, now our, little kitchen table.

"Are you ready for everything that's about to happen?" her dad asked.

I nodded and swallowed my bite of pizza. "Yes, I think so. I have some money saved up and the house is set."

"No, I mean, the 3 am feedings when you then have a 7 am practice."

I had accepted my scholarship and it had been a full-ride, which was incredibly lucky for me. But baseball was starting up soon for the fall, then I'd have a few months off with just practices and then spring ball would go full swing. Lauren got accepted to every school in the area, not surprisingly, but she had decided to start the following semester, in January, once the baby was a few weeks old. Incredibly lucky again Lauren's mom had offered to babysit a few days a week during the spring, and the baby would go to daycare the other days. That cut our bill in half and allowed us both to go to school.

Everything was planned out and I knew it wouldn't be easy, but we had a start. But was I ready for the feedings, the exhaustion that I had read about in every parent book that would accompany having our new little baby? I didn't know. Can you ever really be ready?

"I guess as ready as we can be," I told him

"Have you picked a name?" her mother asked brightly

Lauren and I exchanged glances and smirked. Our conversation in the store had carried over to text messages, phone calls, and Saturday nights. We couldn't seem to agree on a name, even after searching through baby name books and the internet. It was our little inside joke that the baby would always be called "baby".

"No," I told her. "We just can't seem to agree."

"Well, we had two names for Lauren, and we couldn't decide," she told us.

"I didn't know that," Lauren said and put her pizza down.  "What was the other name?"

"Samantha," her dad answered.

"Samantha." Lauren repeated trying the word in her mouth.

"Yea, but you just looked so much like a Lauren, that that's what we went with."

Samantha, Sammie. It was perfect.

"That's it, that's her name." I touched Lauren's belly. She nodded. 

"Samantha. It's perfect."