Teach Me (6 page)

             
“Were you thinking that maybe . . . maybe tonight . . . we’d . . . ?” My hands start to sweat, and I become riddled with nerves. Ali groans with embarrassment and falls backward onto the blanket, covering her face. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. It stuns me that she thought about being intimate with me and boosts my ego a little too.

             
“Yes,” she finally said, though it was muffled under her hands. “I was hoping.” I would be lying if I didn’t admit my anticipation level vamped up a few notches. I leaned on my elbow next to her. With my free hand, I lifted hers from her face, but Ali kept her eyes closed. So I kissed her lids.

             
“I thought about it too,” I admitted in hushed tones. Ali slowly opened her eyes. Neither of us moved. My face hovered above hers, locked in her gaze. Ali’s hand touched my face lightly.

             
“I’m in love with you,” she whispered. We lay there, side by side, bathed in moonlight, surrounded by candlelight. Ali moved slowly, pulling my face to hers. I let her kiss me, and it was the most sensual thing I have ever experienced. Her leg came over my body, placing her on top of me, and her hands were under my shirt.

             
I am only human.

             
I pull her flat to my chest and rolled, so we changed positions. Ali’s arms tangled around my neck, and her mouth became almost desperate against mine. I kissed my way from her mouth to her collarbone, Ali’s hands roaming all over my chest. She started tugging at the fabric and lifted my shirt off over my head. I looked down into her big brown eyes, and they were hungry.

             
Before I knew exactly what I was doing, I had my hands on Ali’s stomach and was slowly taking her top off. She shifted, and her top was in my hand. Ali pulled my mouth back to hers, and we rolled once more, and her delicate body pressed into mine. One of her hands left my arm and moved to the fly of my pants; she was fumbling to unbutton them. I had to react while I was still able think.

             
“Ali.” I wrapped my fingers around her wrist, stopping her.

             
“Cooper,” she whispered, kissing my neck. Oh. My.
God.
Every hormone in my body went into overdrive.
Focus
. I took in a deep breath and rolled her over so we lay side by side again. We both lay, panting for air. After a minute, which I could have used a very cold shower, I sat up to look at her. Taking her hand in mine, I kissed it softly.

             
“You know that I want to do this, very much, but not tonight,” I tell her.

             
Ali nodded, closing her eyes, which shut me out to her emotions. We both put out shirts back on and try to regulate my breathing and remind myself why I felt the need to stop this hot girl from taking advantage of me. Allison has the most perfect body, and I guarantee this will haunt my dreams for weeks.

             
“I just thought, with all the candles and it being our last night that you wanted me.”

             
“Oh, I do, Ali, just not tonight.” Oh man, I do, but I respect her too much and want to be able to wake up next to her and not have to say good night. Ali sits up and nuzzles into my side. I never want to let her go. I kiss the top of her head and keep her in my arms.

             
“Coop,” Allison mummers, and I lean back and find her eyes serious. I touch her creamy, soft cheek, wondering what has caused so much concern.

             
“What is it?” I hope I don’t sound too alarmed. I’m just so nervous that I’ve upset her.

             
“I’m just . . . worried . . . that maybe you should know.” She fumbles with her words and turns away from me. Fear clenches at my chest.

             
“Ali”—I touch her back—“talk to me.” She doesn’t turn around, but I can hear her whisper something. I try to turn her toward me. “I can’t hear you, sweetheart.” Suddenly, she stands up, her fists in balls at her sides. She looks upset—not so much angry, just distressed.

             
“I’m a virgin,” she reveals, her voice carrying in the dark. Before I can respond, she turns and runs, disappearing in the darkness.

             
“Ali.” My voice is shaking. So this is what has been on her mind all night. With me saying no, she is probably feeling unwanted or that she did something wrong. I jump to my feet and take off in the direction she ran.

             
I can see her not far ahead; the moon is so bright tonight it almost seems like a spotlight. I call her name again, but she doesn’t stop. I pick up my speed and am suddenly thankful for all the times Sean drags me to the gym with him. She knows I am close and that I can outrun her. Her run turns into a walk as she places her hands on her hips.

             
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she huffs out. I reach and take hold of her shoulder, spinning her around.

             
“Too bad, because I do.” My voice is pleading, which shocks her. “You should know”—I close my eyes and know I need to be honest with her—“that I am too.” Ali’s eyes betray her thoughts, and I can see she doesn’t believe me. Heck, Sean doesn’t believe me either, but it is the truth.

             
“I hadn’t found the right person yet.” I move closer pushing some loose strands of hair off her face. I can see that Ali had been crying, and I move a step closer, putting my hands on her hips.

             
She looks confused as she looks into my eyes. “Then why did you stop?” I sigh, trying to figure out the best way to say this. I am guy raised with old world morals that some people just don’t understand anymore.

             
“Because I think the first time should be special,” I whisper, not trusting my voice at a normal range. “I don’t think I could bear to be so close to you tonight and know I couldn’t wake up next to you tomorrow morning.” Even in the moonlight, I can see her cheeks blush. “When it is the right time, Ali, I don’t want to have to say goodbye. I want to hold you until you fall asleep and see how your hair slips across your pillow.” I lift my hand and touch her hair, letting it spill though my fingers. “I want to be there to see the sun light the bedroom and kiss you until you wake up.” I bring Ali’s hand to my lips and kiss it. “When the time is right”—I move so my lips are inches from hers—“it will be forever.”

             
I lean in and kiss Ali as gently as I could manage, thinking of her as a fragile porcelain doll. At first she is hesitant but then melts into me, letting
me wrap my arms around her. I fell more in love right then under that huge white moon. Ali’s hands slid up my back and into my hair, holding my mouth to hers. She shivered, but I didn’t know if she was cold or if the blood was pumping though
her
like it was with me. Without words, we walked back to our candlelit hideout.

             
When Ali sat back on the blanket, I wrapped the extra one around her shoulders. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and I found her looking at me the same way. She opened the blanket, and I opened it so we could both cuddle under it. Our bodies were so close it was hard to remember that we admitted our innocence to each other. Nothing I am thinking is innocent right now. I look into Ali’s eyes, hoping she can’t read my mind, but I can see it in her eyes.

             
“I love you so much,” she whispers. What I hear is
“I want you so bad.”
The endless difference between guys and girls.
I kiss her forehead and hold her against me.

             
“I love you,” I say into her hair. Ali sighs and presses her face into my neck.

             
“I really want to do it still.” She tilts her head to look at me. I don’t know what to say. I look into her eyes, and they say it all—they are smoldering hot and filled with desire.

             
“You don’t have anything to prove to me,” I assure her.

             
Ali searches my honest face like she is a human polygraph checking to see if I’m telling her the truth. She bites her lips,
then
slightly nods her head. “I think I need to leave you with part of me so we can’t forget our summer.”

             
My brain decides it needs a vacation, and my body takes over. Ali lurches and is on top of me like a cheetah attacking its prey—she is hungry. She kisses me like it is our last day on Earth, her hands exploring under my shirt, which she all but rips off. Ali kisses her way down and across my chest, her fingers tracing where her lips have been, and it is like fire burning me—a fire I don’t want to put out.

             
My brain tries to come back from its break, but my body tells it to get out of town. Brain insists that I need to stick to my morals, but body reminds me that I won’t see Ali for a long time. Brain says something stupid about absence making the heart grow fonder, but body has a comeback like “Shut up.” All the while that this silent debate is going on, Ali hasn’t stopped kissing my exposed chest. Then she says something that shocks me. First she sits up and, without warning, takes her tank top back off.

             
“Do you want to return the favor?” I felt like a cartoon character. I’m sure my eyes were bugging out of my head and puffs of smoke were shooting from my ears as body wins this round. I pushed Ali on her back on the blanket and immediately started to kiss her flat stomach. I braced myself by having a hand on either side of her as I kissed my way across her
abdomen. The best part was the little sounds Allison was making, small moans and sighs. I started to kiss my way up so that eventually I would make contact with her mouth and instantly realized as I reached her breasts that Ali’s body had gone rigid.

             
“Cooper . . .
wait
.” Her words came out strained. I sat up to look at her. In her internal debate of brain versus body, brain won. “You were right,” she says and sits up, pushing me back. “Tonight isn’t the night.”

             
Did you hear that, body?
Time to cool down fast—like it or not.
“I’m sorry,” she adds, and you can hear the guilt her apology is coated in.

             
It takes me a moment before I can talk. “Don’t be sorry.” My voice is husky and rumbles in my throat. For the second time that night, we both pull our discarded clothes back on—except this time, Ali won’t look at me. “Hey.” I touch her arm.

             
“I’m so sorry,” she says again. I shake my head and pull her into me before she can bolt.

             
“There is no reason to say sorry.” I kiss her hair and just hold her close.

             
“Yes, there is. I’ve been acting crazy tonight. Running away,
then
trying to jump you.” She shakes her head. “I just feel like everything is changing and slipping away. It was the only way I could think to hold on to this.” Her fingers dig into my
sides .

             
“Things are changing, and we can’t do anything about that. But if you are worried about us”—I lean to look at her—“what we have won’t change. We have a very long time stretched in front of us.” Ali smiles and puts her head on my shoulder.

             
The candles are starting to burn out, but neither of us makes a move to leave. We just hold each other, holding on to all the time we have left together. Ali yawns and tries to hide it. “Are you tired?” I ask the obvious question.

             
“No,” she answers, her voice defiant as another yawn escapes. I understand.

             
“We’ll be together again soon,” I promise.

             
“Not soon enough.” I couldn’t agree more.

             
The moon is high in the dark sky, telling us that it is time to leave the spot where I first found and fell in love with Allison. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but it’s almost midnight, and we have an early morning tomorrow. She helps me pack up the picnic and carry it back to my truck. We don’t say much on the drive back to Trudy’s. We don’t need words to express the feelings out loud because they were almost tangible in the space around us.

I walk Ali to her door and kiss her softly under the porch light.

             
“I love you,” she whispers into my lips.

             
“I love you, Ali,” I responded. “I’ll see you in the morning.” I would rather just carry her up to her bed, tuck her in, and hold her all night. But I left the girl I had fallen in love with this summer at her front door and went home.

When I got home, my mom was still up, waiting for me.

             
“Did you have a nice night with Allison?” she asked quietly. I hug and kiss my mom.

             
“Yeah,” I tell her, not wanting to relive everything that happened tonight. “What are you still doing up?” Mom is usually in bed by nine, and it is after midnight, so something must be going on. I take a seat next to her.