Teach Me (7 page)

             
“Waiting for you to get home.”
She smiles, but it is filled with stress.

             
“What is it, Mom?” I don’t like when she is so cryptic like this. She takes a sip of her wine, stands up, kisses the top of my head, and hands me a piece of paper. I take the note but wait to open it until I am alone.

             
It’s a handwritten note, a message Mom took earlier tonight.

Chico Prep Charter Junior High School called and wants to offer you a job in their English department. They need to hear from you ASAP. It sounds like a really good opportunity even though it is further than what you would have liked. Think about it. Love you son.

             
I folded the paper and put it on the kitchen counter. I had just been handed my dream job that would take me over five hundred miles away from my dream girl.

             
I didn’t notice that Mom had come back in the kitchen. I didn’t notice that I had been staring at the same spot on the wall for a half an hour either. Mom must sense the struggle in my heart as she sits back down next to me.

             
“They said you could e-mail your response with any questions,” she tells me. I nod and force a smile. “It is the opportunity you have worked so hard to get, Cooper. I know you’ll make the right choice.” She stands and hugs me, trying to give me support. “See you in the morning.” I know my mom will support whatever choice I make; she has always wanted me to choose my own path, but I still feel the responsibility to make her proud.

             
Once in my room, I sit in front of my laptop for almost an hour before I can respond to the offer. I type my reply:

I, Cooper Ryan Perez, would like to accept the position you have offered at Chico Prep Charter Junior High School.

Five

Allison

I couldn’t sleep at all tonight. I tried to, but I could never get comfortable. Oh, and I was pretty hot and bothered replaying my beach make out scene over and over. Cooper and I had the sex talk tonight. It wouldn’t have been a bad thing if I hadn’t thrown myself at him, admitted my innocence, and then ran away from him in pure embarrassment.
So much for being mature.
He was so incredible about everything that it made me want him even more, but he was right. It’ll be worth the wait.

It has to be around four in the morning. I decide sleeping is just not in the cards tonight, so I tiptoe my way into the kitchen to make myself some hot tea. To my surprise, Aunt Trudy is sitting at the table, reading her newspaper.

She watches me as I entered the cluttered little space. “I couldn’t sleep either,” she tells me. I sighed not, wanting to speak. I feared that once I realized that this was it, I would break down into an ocean of tears. I poured hot water over a tea bag and watched as the liquid caused the contents of the sachet to seep. Slowly the water changed color, and the fragrance filled the air.

“You really do love him, don’t you?” Aunt Trudy asked quietly. I nodded but didn’t turn around for fear that spoken confirmation would surely lead to tears. “Then love will find a way, honey, trust me.” I finally turned to look at her. The emotion in her eyes made it real for me. I trusted her words.

I took my tea back to my room to write Cooper a letter. Yesterday my aunt had given me a packet of pictures she had taken over the summer—most of them of me and Cooper, or me and her. I picked through them until I found the one she insisted on taking right as we left on our first date. We both looked excited and filled with raw emotion. Then I found one taken just a day or so ago, and our expressions were the same. Nothing had worn off over the weeks we had spent together. I set the pictures so I could glance at them as I wrote.

Dear Cooper,

I cannot possibly put into words what this summer has meant to me, what it’ll always mean to me. I never thought anything like this would happen…especially to me. My world is forever changed for the good because you are in it. I will miss not seeing you every day no matter how brave a face I put on. I know we will work something out and see each other soon. I look forward to exchanging emails and learning more and more about you. It
might be easier for me to open up with the barrier of a computer screen between us and learn to trust my feelings and heart to someone.

I will learn to be patient. I will learn to trust. I will learn the meaning of love to its very roots.

Cooper, I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I know myself and how I feel for you. I feel full and weightless all at the same time. I know I love you and I trust my heart to you. Carry it with you wherever you go, it is yours.

All the love in the world,

Ali

I read and reread my letter. I folded it around a picture of us on the beach, the ocean stretching out behind us. I packed the rest of my things,
then
carried it all downstairs. I could hear Aunt Trudy speaking softly to someone. I glanced at the clock on the wall, which is ticking loudly; it read half past five. I try to match my breathing with the steady
ticktock
, it being steadier than the thumping in my chest. I took my mug back to the kitchen and was surprised at what I found—Cooper sitting with my aunt! They both turned slowly toward me, their conversation ceasing. Cooper smiled, but it didn’t touch his eyes; it was more of a sad smile.

“I found him outside,” Aunt Trudy finally said when she realized neither of us could speak. “He was just sitting out all alone in the dark, looking all miserable, so I had to let him in.”

“Hi,” Cooper says to me. I swallowed a lump in my throat that I didn’t know was there.

“Hi,” I repeated and cleared my throat. Aunt Trudy was slowly moving toward the kitchen doorway.

“Well, I better go get ready,” she said. “We’ll leave in about an hour.”

With that, we were alone. Neither of us spoke or moved for a full minute. I blushed, thinking about how I had acted last night. Seduce, run,
then
seduce again—not my best moment. I still had the letter I wrote him in my hand, so without thinking, I just held it out in front of me. Cooper stood and crossed the room. Ignoring my outstretched arm, he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

It started gentle and soft, then quickly built. Before I knew how I had gotten there, my back was pressed to the pantry doors. Cooper was everywhere. His hands, his mouth, his breath, and I wanted more. I grabbed at him and pulled him closer, never wanting to let go. I deepened the kiss as I slipped my hands under the back of his shirt. Cooper pulled his head back, and his eyes were dark blue, like sapphires, and he looked how I felt—hungry.

His voice was hoarse as he spoke into my ear. “I want you.” His mouth moved down my neck, then across my jaw. Coop’s hands have been
on my hips, holding me close to him, but now they are touching my shoulders and sliding lightly over my collarbone.

“What about what you said last night?” I managed to say in broken breaths. Cooper brought his mouth back to mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Got it.
Forget about the waiting thing—I like this plan.

“Allison, don’t forget to call your dad before we leave!”  Aunt Trudy yells from upstairs, though it sounds like it’s from the next room.

Cooper takes a step back and closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair.
Wait. No. Don’t stop yet.

“I’m sorry, Allison,” he finally says.
Which I hate when someone apologizes and you don’t know why.
Especially after some serious kissing.

“I’m not complaining,” I answered boldly. “I’m the one who tried to, you know, on the beach last night.” This made Cooper laugh, which
is a good sign
considering the tense emotions in the room. He had walked to the opposite side of the small kitchen, and his back was to me.
Uh-oh.
This cannot be good.

“That isn’t what I am sorry about.” He crossed the room, taking my hands in his. He picked up the letter that had fallen to the floor and slid it into his back pocket. I tilted my head, and he continued, “I had a message when I got home last night about a job.”

“That’s good.” I tried to sound hopeful, though his face gave me no hope.

“I am going to be teaching at a private school in Chico, a couple hours above Sacramento.” He took a breath. “It’s farther than what I would have liked, but I had to take it.” I touched his cheek and kissed his mouth.

“Is that all?” I asked, trying to mask the minor hysteria in my voice.
“Because it sounded much more serious.”
Cooper smiled, and I cupped his cheek in my hand. “Like you said, it’ll all work out somehow. Trust in this.” Then I placed my hand over his heart.

“I love you, Allison,” he told me as he took me in his arms. Ten seconds, or maybe an hour, later, Aunt Trudy came back downstairs, letting us know that it was time to go.

Cooper rode to the train station with me and Aunt Trudy. We exchanged the letters we had written—mine was just one simple envelope; his was a huge envelope packed with many letters. I hate goodbyes. I try to avoid them since I lost my mom. She died almost ten years ago at the age of forty. It was sudden, an unknown heart condition. I said goodbye to her about fifteen minutes before they pronounced her dead. She died in surgery; the damage to her heart was too great to repair. I had just turned eight. Since then, I avoid goodbyes. Deep down I’ve been afraid that saying goodbye is like giving someone a death sentence. Aunt Trudy knows how I
feel about this, so I am not surprised when she mentions quietly to Cooper not to say it to me.

             
“Say something like ‘See you soon,’” she whispers to him as I am managed my luggage, pretending not to hear. It is time for me to get on the train, and it is the last thing I want to do.

             
Aunt Trudy pulls me into her arms before I can think another thought. “Sooner and longer next time, kiddo,” she says into my ear. I hug her tight.

             
“Next summer is all yours, Aunt Trudy. I love you.” I hug her tighter,
then
release her. She steps back, and Cooper steps forward. We just stand there, not speaking. Neither of us wants to face this. Then it happens with no warning—my tears. Cooper pulls me to his chest.

             
“Hey, honey,” he whispers, trying to soothe me. “We’ll be together soon, and I’ll call you tonight—I promise.” I don’t want to let him go.

             
“I love you,” I mumble into his shirt. “I’ll see you soon,” I add. He laughs at this, and I wish I could capture that laugh in a jar to open and hear when I am alone.

             
“See you soon,” Cooper says into my cheek and kisses me. All too soon, I am all alone on the train, holding the envelope with Cooper’s letters inside with both hands. I’m just waiting for the train to pull away before I rip it open. I slowly open the envelope. Inside were five letters and a small
box. I held all the letters in my left hand and the box in my right. I shook the box, and it clattered with the contents. It was labeled “Open the night before the first day of school.” The others were dated, and one had today’s date on it. I tore it open.

Dearest Allison,

My heart is breaking without you not at arm’s reach. I didn’t know I could feel like this so quickly. What we have is real and set in stone. No distance will keep us apart. We will be together soon, but not soon enough. Please never let doubt seed your thoughts about us.

For stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do that dares love attempt.

(Romeo and Juliet Act 2, Scene 2)

             
We can get through anything that life throws at us. You have forever changed me and gave life to my heart. I will never forget our time falling in love at the beach, under the sun of summer.

Until I can hold you again,

Cooper Ryan Perez

             
I held the neatly printed note to my chest and realized tears streaked my cheeks. It’s clear that we were both on the same page with our feelings. I just selfishly wish he wouldn’t be so far away for work. I know I put up a strong front being brave and all, but come on. He said he was over five
hundred miles away. The next time I’ll be able to see him is Thanksgiving. I’ll be eighteen by then, which is good, but it still seems so far away. I lean my head back and close my eyes, remembering every detail of Cooper’s face.

             
“Ma’am.”
Someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes to find myself at my stop. I gathered my things and got off the train. I could see my dad waving to me; he is hard to miss. My dad, Robert, is six foot five and all muscle. He is the captain of the county fire department and spends more time away from home than we both would like. Even with the long hours, my dad has always been there for me, and he works hard to hide the pain that haunts him. The ache of carrying the love for someone he’ll never see again. Dad makes his way to me quickly and has me off my feet in a hug in no time.