Authors: Jade West
Her wicked little laugh sent shivers up my spine. “See if you’re still saying that tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow night?”
She tapped the side of her nose, then leaned into the camera and pressed her lips to the screen for a long second. “I’d better go. It’s late.”
“And you’re avoiding the question.”
She fake yawned. “Tired.”
“Are you teasing me, Helen Palmer?”
“Maybe…
sir
.”
I had shivers afresh. “Don’t even think about calling me that in the classroom.”
She giggled. “Wouldn’t you like it?”
“I don’t want to come in my pants in front of a class full of kids, Helen. No, I wouldn’t like it.”
“Shame.”
“Get your pretty ass to bed now, please.”
“Yes, Mr Roberts.”
“Goodnight, Helen.”
“Goodnight, Mr Roberts.” She blew a kiss and it was so pretty it took my breath. “I love you, Mr Roberts.”
“And I love you, Helen Palmer.”
I hung up as her jaw hit the floor.
***
Helen
I was excited and nervous and incredibly happy. A typhoon of goodness churning around inside me at the thought of seeing him again.
And I love you, Helen Palmer.
I was lost in my own little world when Lizzie spoke.
“I can’t believe you’re actually doing this. I thought you were such a good girl.”
“I am. At least that’s what Mr Roberts tells me.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. I thought you were all sweet and innocent.”
I smiled. “Not anymore.”
“And you’re really not wearing any underwear?”
“Really.”
She tugged at my blazer and I squeaked and dived away. “Come on! At least let me see!”
“No way!” I laughed.
“Spoilsport.” Lizzie dropped her cigarette, and then she sighed. “Incoming, Hels. Behind you. Lover-boy-reject at twelve o’clock.”
I followed her eyes to find Harry Sawbridge heading down the alleyway towards us, but when he saw me there, he held back, pretended he hadn’t seen us. I felt surprisingly embarrassed when he turned around and headed in the opposite direction.
“Shit, I forgot about Harry.” I sighed. “At least it seems he’s forgotten about me, too.”
Lizzie pulled a face. “Something weird about that, he was well keen.”
I shrugged. “Just as well he isn’t.”
She shrugged, too. “Just as well.” She started walking. “Is it draughty under there?” She yanked at my skirt and I thumped her arm.
“Stop it!”
“You are absolutely no fun anymore, Hels Bells, no fun at all.” She poked her tongue out. “So, this is really it, huh? First day in school as an official
thing
with Mr Perfect.”
“Feels weird.” I smiled. “Good weird.
Great
weird. Still weird, though.” I pulled my blazer tighter. “I’m so nervous.”
“Nervous?! You fucked the guy, bled on his sheets, then took his spunk in your eye, and let him wash your privates in the shower, and you’re nervous about sitting in a classroom with him?”
“Something like that.”
“Gotta love your brain, Hels.”
“It’s just… different. He’s my teacher here.”
“See how much of a teacher he seems at lunchtime.” She smirked. “When do I get my status update?”
“This evening.”
“Walking home?”
I shrugged. “Maybe, I dunno.”
She rolled her eyes again. “Well, let me know when I get some teacher-time castoffs.”
“It’s not like that!”
“If you say so.”
We arrived at the gates and I pulled her back by her elbow. “You’re not a castoff.”
“Chill, Hels, I was messing around. It’s all new and shit, I get it. It’s no big deal.”
I fixed her in a stare. “But it is a big deal. You’re my bestest forever.”
“Glad to hear it.” She fumbled around in her bag. “I’ve got so much shit to do today, it’s probably for the best you’re not around.”
“Shit like what?”
“Homework.”
I laughed. “Slacked off at the weekend? Scottie’s got a lot to answer for.”
Her face turned dark. “Not Scottie, that asshole Ray.”
“Ray? Was your mum away again?”
She nodded, and her eyes were dark. “She’s always fucking away at the moment.”
“Nan’s sick though, right?”
She shrugged. “So they say.”
“They wouldn’t lie about that.”
“Maybe she just wants out from us both.”
I squeezed her arm but she shrugged me off. “That’s not how it is, Lizzie. That’s crazy.”
“Is it?” There was a flash of upset in her eyes, but she buried it. “Doesn’t matter anyway, I’ve got Scottie, and I’ve got you.”
“Yeah, but she’s your mum…”
“Doesn’t act like it.”
“But you’re close.”
“Used to be.”
“You still are, Lizzie, she’s just… got stuff on.”
“Yeah, well, she can piss the fuck off.”
“You don’t mean that…”
“How do
you
know what I fucking mean? Were you there this weekend?” Her eyes were angry, and they took me aback. “No, you fucking weren’t, so don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean. I know what I fucking mean, Helen.”
I held my hands up, but she was walking away. I caught her up. “Lizzie, just stop a minute.” I had to grab hold of her satchel, pulling her back as the bell was ringing for beginning of class. “Stop, Lizzie!”
She spun around, and her anger had gone, there was just calm, cool Lizzie again, with a smile on her face. “Shit, Hels, I’m sorry. I was goofing around. Must be my time of the month.”
An uneasiness stirred in my tummy. “It was more than that, Lizzie…”
She shook her head. “No way! Seriously, I’m good. I always get this hormonal crap.”
But she didn’t, not in the whole time I’d known her.
“Just forget about it, Hels, seriously. ”
I didn’t smile. “I don’t want to forget about it. I want you to be ok.”
“I am ok.” She groaned. “Don’t be such a drama llama.”
I folded my arms. “Is there something going on with Ray?”
She sighed. “Yeah, he’s a useless prick, same as always.”
“I don’t mean that…”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean. It’s all cool.”
I was aware of our lateness, alone in the schoolyard, but I couldn’t move a muscle. “Lizzie, does Ray… does he do anything?”
She laughed. “
Do
anything?”
“I’m being serious.”
Her face dropped. “I’m totally fine, I’m just…” She kissed my cheek. “I’m good.”
But I knew she wasn’t. “Promise?”
She held up two fingers. “Bestie’s honour.” I’d have asked her to say the words, but she was already off, her battered old satchel bouncing off her ass as she went. She turned just before she was out of sight. “I want an update this evening, Helen Palmer, walking home buddies or not, understand?”
I gave her the Bestie’s salute as I walked away. “Sure thing, Lizzie.”
“All the juicy gossip.”
I grinned. “All the juicy gossip.”
I just hoped there was some juicy gossip to give her.
I made my way into English, and my heart was already thumping.
***
Mark
Helen was a different girl when she arrived in my art room in third period. It wasn’t a case of makeup, or different clothes, or hair, or even a different school bag. It was so much more fundamental than that.
There are only a few instances in my teaching career that I’ve genuinely been put off my stride, and this was one of them. I lost my train of thought, and my words with it, and through doing so I lost the year sevens, and some thirty pairs of eyes turned to look at her.
She smiled, and her eyes met mine for just a moment before looking away.
“Morning, Mr Roberts.”
“Good morning, Helen.”
I cleared my throat and tapped the bike frame I’d suspended from the ceiling, and it moved on its fastenings and clattered into the other hanging assortment: shiny pans and old tyres and a pretty little display of antique cutlery. At least it got their attention back.
“As I was saying, you should select a part of the arrangement you feel is inspiring. See your picture. Frame it with your fingers if it helps you visualise it. And then focus on shape and colour rather than object. Focus on the play of light, and the texture and the shapes within the shapes, the negative shapes between objects. Focus on bringing your chosen piece to life.” I watched Helen unpack her sketchpads. “Everyone set?”
Silence.
“Good.”
I went to my desk as the room descended into squeaking stools and chatter, and turned my attention to my lesson plans, but all I could see was Helen. All I could feel was Helen.
Her heel tap, tapped, and her cheeks blushed, and she pushed her hair behind her ear compulsively. And then she looked at me.
Our eyes met and the chatter in the room faded beneath my rushing pulse. The room became hot, and tense, and small. Sizzling with… knowing… sizzling with the memory of her sweet little moans as she came for me over the telephone, the sight of her swollen pussy lips as she pushed those fingers inside.
I was hard, and I really shouldn’t be.
An hour’s lesson has never gone so slowly. I was parched, and my throat was scratchy and dry. I distracted myself with the class, but it didn’t help any. All the still life questions in the universe couldn’t distract me from the willowy, beautiful siren of a girl at the back of the room. Her eyes were big and filled with secrets, secrets only I knew, and they pulled at me, and twisted me up, and excited me. I could feel her gaze on me, and the tension felt like heaven and hell all rolled into one.
My heart was racing by the time the lunch bell sounded. I gathered the year sevens’ drawings and stacked them in a pile, and Helen waited and watched, quietly and curiously until the door swung closed behind the stragglers. She joined me at my desk as I put away the sketches, and I could smell her,
taste
her. The hint of her pale thighs tempted me from under her school skirt, and she knew it. She checked out the playground through the window over her shoulder, then angled herself so that her back was facing every possible pair of eyes out there.
And then she opened her blazer, just enough that I saw the hard little bullets of her nipples poking through her blouse.
No bra.
Lord save my soul.
“I, um… I thought you might…” She looked at me, and there was nervous Helen again. “Nobody, um… nobody can see, not when I’ve got the blazer on… but I thought you might… like it…”
I stood and checked the corridor through the door windows and there wasn’t a soul out there. “Helen, you’re going to be the ruin of me.”
She took a little step back. “Doesn’t it make you happy? You said that… you said you liked it… when I was in your shirt…”
My throat was bone dry. “It makes me very happy, but I maintain you’re going to be the ruin of me. This is more temptation than I can bear.”
“So don’t…” she whispered. “There’s nobody here. I thought you… you could… touch…”
“Christ, Helen. We’re playing with fire as it is, any more and we’ll be bathing in it.”
She smiled a beautiful, sly little smile. “I told you… I told you I was naughty… and last night, you saw me, and now I… I want to see you…”
“What?” I said. “You have no bra on under your blouse, and
you
want to see
me
?”
She nodded. “I just thought it might… make you… horny…”
The nerves in her eyes would have made me smile if my own weren’t so jangled.
“Helen, we can’t do this.”
She looked so disappointed. “But I’ll be really careful… I’ve thought this out… you can show me a book on Picasso, the one you normally show me… and we can talk… just like we’ve done before. We’ve done that before at lunchtime. Loads of times…”
“Loads of times when I wasn’t thinking about your nipples poking through your blouse, Helen. I’ll lose my job. This could spiral, and explode in my face, and I’ll be thrown out.”
Her eyes were so serious. “I would never let that happen. I’ll be so careful. I promise. I promise more than anything.”
I sighed. “What’s happening to me? Why am I even having this conversation?” I put my hands behind my head. “You should get off to lunch, and I should be a teacher, at least conserve some semblance of professional dignity.”
“You are dignified,” she smiled. “And you’re amazing, and talented, and brilliant, and enigmatic, and wonderful.” Her cheeks had a fine blush. “And hot, and the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen, and I can’t stop… I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wanting this…”