Team Niklas (The Saints Team #3) (18 page)

Chapter 22

It was his own fault, all his own doing—any man who takes a woman
shopping is asking for trouble and I worked him. Not once did he complain but I
don’t think he’ll shop again for some time, maybe a year, maybe more. We got
Nik new jeans, dress pants, shirts, pullovers, t-shirts, socks, jocks... yeah,
I was a big help there, and even shoes. I got him a couple more hats too
because he had a good head for them. His credit card got a workout. Then, true
to form, he took me shopping starting with a trip to Victoria’s Secrets.

I laughed when he asked: “can we buy those white angel
wings there?”

I gave him a strange look.

“You know,” he insisted, “like they wear in the
fashion parade. I want to sit in a chair at the end of your catwalk and watch
you walk towards me in lingerie with angel wings.” He took a deep breath.

I moved in front of him just accidentally brushing
against his jeans where he was sporting a sizeable bulge as he imagined the
catwalk scene. It was an accident, honest. Nik groaned and pulled me closer.

“You better stay there for a few minutes,” he suggested.

Seriously, hopeless! “We don’t have time to wait and
hide your erections all day,” I whispered in his ear and brushed against him
again with a smile.

“You’re not helping the situation, Sah-sha,” he said,
and narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. I gave him my best innocent look again.

Eventually we were able to leave with three new
lingerie purchases; it would have been more but I restricted Nik and his super
quick credit card reflexes to just the three. He was way too keen to spend
money on me, awful that.

We stopped for lunch and several rounds of coffee
during the day and got back to the hotel in plenty of time for another stroll
around Central Park before dusk and another long soak in the tub—we needed it
after the day’s shopping. I also had a new dress for tonight for dinner with Anton
and his girlfriend.

*****

When we arrived at the restaurant called
Terraces of Manhattan
—Anton’s
choice—he was there already with his girlfriend, who took me by surprise and
delight. She was dressed in a very risqué fashion even by my standards. I was
in my new dress that Nik had brought me—a stylish wrap-around with very high
heels to accompany it. I hadn’t got a matching hat yet, but I would. Nik wore
one of his new button-down shirts with dress pants and looked good enough to be
on the menu. Anton was conservatively dressed but his girlfriend was in a
bright red dress and just in it!

“Nik, Sasha, this is Amanda,” he introduced her, after
shaking Nik’s hand and kissing me on the cheek.

“Mandy,” she said, shaking our hands enthusiastically,
“everyone calls me Mandy.”

Anton was bookish, slender, even nerdy but handsome in
a boy-next-door way, but his girlfriend was a true
Noo-Yorker
all the
way to the accent. She was a big girl, with flowing red hair down her back—I
know, red dresses on redheads, hmm the jury is out on that one. She had a
sizeable bust that I couldn’t take my eyes off so I had to forgive Nik for
staring, and she was more sassy than I was a Sasha, if you get me. She had
lovely blue eyes and was full of confidence and energy. If opposites attract,
then Anton and Mandy were made for each other. She had enough personality for
all of us and I felt instantly at ease with her.

“I love this place,” she gushed, “it’s my new
favorite, but I have a different favorite every week don’t I babe?”

Babe nodded. “She does,” Anton agreed, looking at her
with adoring eyes. I began to relax, this was going to be an easy dinner, I
wouldn’t get a word in and wouldn’t have to do anything but nod and smile...
too easy. Unfortunately that didn’t quite work out so well for Nik—yep, it
appears Mandy has no boundaries which was kind of good for me.

We were seated at a table for four near the window
with a view to the busy street; inside the restaurant however, everything was
calm and beautifully lit.

“You have to try the lobster; it is a real dining
experience and the chef, Marcus, he is a genius,” she said.

“What else would you suggest? I’m not a lobster girl,”
I asked her.

Mandy was up to the challenge providing plenty of
other suggestions. Nik and Anton were talking between themselves while we girls
scanned the menu.

“The grilled sashimi,” she gushed, “to die for.”

“I can taste it already,” I said, teasing her. I
closed the menu. After we ordered wine and entrees, Mandy dived straight in.

“So Nik, Anton tells me you grew up together but
you’re an orphan. Have you ever tried to find your family?”

I nearly fell off my chair and Nik choked on a sip of
water. Anton looked embarrassed but not shocked—clearly, he was used to Mandy. It
was definitely going to be a weekend of getting to know Nik even if that wasn’t
his plan.

She continued, “I only ask because one of my friends
searched for her parents and found them and now they are one big happy
family... well her mother anyway, her father died not long after they were
reunited.” She stopped for breath.

Well this was good—I had been wanting to ask this too
but I was doing the cautious thing as my brother Ethan suggested... tip-toeing
around the subject, finding out bits and pieces and not pushing topics he
clearly didn’t want to cover and this was one of them. It was so out of
character for me being a journalist and way too direct for my own good, but now
Mandy just blew all of my prep work out of the water.

“Well.” Nik cleared his throat. “A few years ago I did
look into it.”

Anton tried to change the subject as the drink waiter
brought out wine, but Mandy wasn’t having it. If looks could kill, then the
look Nik was giving Anton would have had him on life support.

“So, did you find out anything?” she said, brushing
Anton’s arm affectionately. I sat there in stunned silence, my eyes wide, not
sure if I should rescue Nik or wait for his answer... I really wanted to hear
his answer. Nik gave Anton a look that was a bit hard to read but it had a
rescue-tinge about it. We clinked glasses in a toast to good health and after a
sip, Nik continued.

“Well I found my biological mother—she told me she was
sixteen when she got pregnant with me to an older man and they were never going
to be a couple. Now, she is married with a family, but she doesn’t want to
rekindle anything... she was scared I would wreck her new home life. Her
husband didn’t know her past,” Nik said. “She sent a Christmas card this year.”
He shrugged.

“And your father?” Mandy asked.

Nik glanced to me—I couldn’t read his expression—then
he looked back to Mandy.

I could see Anton was dying—whether he expected Nik to
kill him later or he was truly sorry for throwing Nik in the deep end I
couldn’t tell.

“She gave me his name but she said he never knew about
me, she didn’t tell him and she’s had no contact since that night. Her parents
were strict and sent her away to a relative’s place until after the birth and they
organized my fostering.”

I reached out and took Nik’s hand and changed the
subject. It wasn’t our business to know all this personal stuff and I didn’t
want him to be put in the spotlight... he looked so uncomfortable.

“We went shopping today,” I said brightly, way too
brightly. “Nik survived.”

“Oh my God, did you got to Tate Alley?” Mandy asked
and began gushing about the shoes there. Nik squeezed my leg under the table
and gave me a grateful look. I kept Mandy occupied on our shopping adventures
and the conversation did not return to Nik’s childhood again. Phew. But I still
wanted to know now, if he had tried to contact his father. Must have been
heartbreaking to contact his mother and have her still disinterested—to think
she had no idea of the years of abuse that he endured. I wanted to shake her,
but I guess she was young and frightened to find herself pregnant. My heart
ached for Nik.

Mandy was right about one thing, the meals were divine
even if I found it hard to eat without wanting to put something in Nik’s mouth.
His hand coming and going from my leg did nothing to help the situation. Before
coffee arrived—believe it or not, I declined dessert again—I excused myself to
go to the bathroom.

“I’ll come too,” Mandy said. “We have to go
together... girl rule,” she told the boys.

“Absolutely,” I agreed, even though I could see Anton
giving me a look that said
don’t leave me, you know he’s going to kill me...
what could I do? He was right though, Nik was cheesed off. I glanced back
before heading into the ladies and could see Anton talking himself out of it
and Nik had a serious jaw lock action going. Anton probably should have been
more discreet but I don’t totally blame him—Mandy was one of those people who
put herself so completely out there that you found yourself talking to her. I
think I just told her my star sign and my fantasy to ride naked, bare-back on a
very dark horse, down the beach in summer—yeah, don’t ask.

When we returned there was coolness in the air even
though the boys were making small talk about mutual friends. I slid into the
seat next to Nik, took his strong jaw in my hand and kissed him. His eyes
softened and his jaw relaxed. See, I was good for him. Something else seemed to
get harder too but that was just inconvenient.

Mandy oohhed-and-aahed as dessert arrived for her and
Anton. Nik and I were just on the coffees. I love a woman who appreciates her
food and she did, every mouthful got rated.

“I’ll pick up the check tonight,” Anton said. “I’m
just glad we got a chance to catch-up before you head back.”

Nik went to protest. I guess he was used to paying and
was probably super aware he was financially worth ten times more than all of
us.

Anton held up his hand. “I want to; it was my
invitation,” he said.

“Thank you, Anton, that’s very generous, and it was a
great choice,” I said.

“It’s a pleasure,
and yes, Mandy knows her places,” he said, with a smile towards her.

“Besides, I’ll eventually charge Nik for it somehow...
you know, slip it onto one of his bills,” he said, with a wry grin towards Nik.

“So that lunch you picked up last visit?” Nik asked,
his lips twitching in a smile.

“Yeah, the pleasure was all yours,” Anton teased him,
and Nik smiled and shook his head. Looks like we were all friends again, phew.

No sooner had we said goodbye to Anton and Mandy, and
left the restaurant, than Nik pulled me to a stop and wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m sorry about that stuff at dinner,” he said.

I frowned at him. “I don’t understand why you are
apologizing to me
,” I said, studying his face. I
touched his cheek. “I’m sorry if it embarrassed you or put you on the spot.”

“It threw me, I have to
be honest,” he said.

I took his hand and we
started walking back to our hotel.

“Will you finish the
story? You don’t have to, but did you contact your real father?” I asked.

He pulled me under his
arm and we walked on. “I tracked him down. He was about ten years older than my
mother so I don’t know how they got in that situation but it sounds like a
one-night stand.”

“Who would have thought
something so perfect could come from that,” I said, looking up at him.

He grinned and squeezed
me tighter.

“I wrote him a
letter... old fashioned I know, but emailing didn’t seem to cut it and I
couldn’t call him out of the blue.” He swallowed. “It’s been a year and I
haven’t sent it yet.”

“Nik!” I exclaimed,
looking up at him. Then I remembered what Ethan said, play it cautiously. “Why
not?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes
it’s better to not know than to be... unwanted.”

“I understand, I think.
But what if he is excited... he doesn’t even know he has a son. What if that is
great news. Would it be for you if you found out you had a son?”

“I’ve tried to put
myself in that situation several times. I think I’d be pleased. What about
you?” he asked me.

I thought about it.
“It’s so hard to say—a woman will always know if she has a child in the world.”

Nik grinned. “Yes, I
guess so.”

We came to our hotel
for our last night in New York City and entered, greeting the night staff as we
made our way to the elevators.

“Do you think I should
send it?” he asked.

“It’s entirely up to
you... but yes, I do. What’s the worst that could happen? You find out who your
father is and score yourself some family. If he doesn’t want to bond, you carry
on like now, nothing lost, nothing gained. Trust me, family is good to have
sometimes.”

The elevator came and
we entered and kissed all the way to our floor. The elevator doors opened and
we exited.

“Send it. I’m here for
you no matter what happens,” I told him, as he scooped me up and carried me
into our room like we were crossing the threshold on our last NYC night.

“Thanks Sarsh, I told
you that stuff couldn’t hurt us and I don’t want you to think it is a problem.”

 “Nik, I don’t see it as
a problem, not for a moment, and there’s nothing about your past that could
hurt me,” I said.

I spoke too soon.

Chapter 23

As we strapped into our large leather seats on the chartered plane to
return home, Nik’s phone beeped with an incoming text message; we forgot about
it while we talked about our trip and the highlights. Nik reminded me that he
loved me and I reminded him I felt the same.

“It was the most exciting trip, ever,” I gushed.
“Thank you, Nik.”

“The pleasure was all mine
Süsse, all mine,” Nik said, graciously. “Wait until we do Paris and
London!”

His legs encased mine
and he leaned forward during takeoff; we held hands watching New York City
disappear beneath us. Once we could undo our seatbelts, I moved over to sit
next to him and we just held each other. We slipped down to lie along the
length of the seats, spooned together, and he stroked my hair. I must have
fallen asleep because I woke as I felt the plane preparing for descent. Nik had
been sleeping too. We were pretty exhausted from our nocturnal activities
amongst other things.

We sat up and I
attempted to straighten everything that was now crooked. The light came on to
buckle up and we put our seatbelts on again. I reminded Nik about the text
message he had received and he reached for his phone, thumbed the screen and read
the message. His face went ashen. He swallowed.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s from James, my
manager,” he said, frowning. He looked a little stricken, his lips thinned and
his jaw locked.

“Are you okay?” I
asked.

He looked up at me as
if he had forgotten I was there, and he pocketed the phone. He glanced out the
plane window.

“Nik, you can tell me.
What’s wrong?” I asked. My stomach started to swirl with anxiety.

He closed his eyes
momentarily, then opened them and leaned forward.

“Sarsh, something bad
has come up and it’s not true, and I love you.”

I felt the blood rush
from my face. It wasn’t fair. Please don’t let me be hearing this.

Nik took my hand. He
didn’t look well and he avoided my eyes.

“Just tell me,” I
whispered, “Nik...”

He licked his lower lip
again and looked at me. “There’s a story in the paper about a model who says
she’s expecting a child to a Saints’ player.”

“A Saints’ player... it’s
you?” I said, and the words sounded strangled coming from my suddenly dry
throat. I couldn’t swallow.

“It’s not my child, Sarsh,
she’s saying it is, but I promise, it is not my child.” He undid his seatbelt
and leaned forward, taking both of my hands in his. “Sometimes women say those
things to trap a guy, you know, to look after them... to get alimony from
someone they know can afford it, but it’s not my child.”

I could barely hear him;
I went into some sort of shock. I had just had the best weekend of my life with
a man who I decided to trust and now I was going to lose him, now he was having
a child with someone else. I think he said something, but I couldn’t hear him
for the rush of thoughts in my mind.

I interrupted him. “Do
you know her? Did you have sex with her?”

“Yes,” he said,
honestly. “But since the moment I started pursuing you
Sah-sha, I
promise I haven’t slept with anyone or seen anyone, not a single woman, you can
trust me on that.”

I nodded. “How pregnant is she?”

Nik lowered his head and reached for his phone. I
noticed his hand was shaking slightly—he was as anxious as I was. He opened the
press clipping on his phone—it was a shot of her modeling, a glamor shot—I took
the telephone from him and read the article. She was claiming to have a child
with Nik but she didn’t say how far along she was, she was coy and had just
said first trimester. It may have been Nik’s if she was far enough along. We mightn’t
have been together then but this changed everything.

“She’s beautiful, you would suit each other,” I said,
my voice choking.

Nik grabbed the phone from me. “You’re beautiful, you
suit me, you fit me, Sah-sha.”

We began our descent and Nik was in panic mode.

I told him to put his seatbelt on but he ignored me. I
reached over and did it up. I was always practical even when my stomach was
swirling. He tried to take my hand but I pulled away, I didn’t need the
influence of his touch on my skin—I needed a clear head.

My actions only stressed him more; he ran his hands
through his hair, his leg tapped and both of our thoughts filled the small
confines of the plane. The moment we touched down he called his manager and
listened as James explained what had broken out in social media.

Why do people get off on this crap? Why would she
want this kind of fame? Why are the media interested?

I heard Nik insisting James take it to a lawyer and demand
that she get a paternity test. He hung up and dropped on his knees in front of
me, grasping my hands. He raised my chin so that I would look him in the eye.

“Sarsh, please believe me, it is not my child. If it
was, I would provide all the support in the world for that kid, but it wouldn’t
change what we have, I love you, and I want to be with you.”

I nodded again. It was all I could manage. I had to be
alone to process this—our perfect weekend, my future as it was shaping, it all
looked different now. I dug my phone out—I had put it away earlier for the
flight—and it beeped too with a missed message and call from Alice about the
story. Nik’s phone began to go wild with texts and calls coming in and he put
it on silent. He stood as the hatch door opened. We alighted and took the car
that Nik had waiting for us. It was only early afternoon because we had gained
a few hours. We drove home in silence, Nik not letting me move away from him.

I turned to him in the taxi and put my hand on his
face. He was super distressed.

“I need to be alone now, to think,” I said. He started
to protest and I placed my fingers across his lips. “Just leave this with me.
You go do what you need to do.” I kissed him and as the taxi pulled over out
the front of my apartment, I got out and took the suitcase the taxi driver
retrieved for me. I stopped Nik from bringing it upstairs, and insisted he got
back in the taxi. I hurried in before any photos could be taken of us arriving
home should anyone be loitering with a camera. I entered to find Prada waiting
for me—Saffron had fed him for me—I was so happy to see him and to be in the
safe surroundings of my home. I was alone, again.

*****

Over the next few hours I had calls from everyone I had ever known—all my
family, Ethan and Saffy several times, Alice, my parents, my other brothers,
Maxie, even a phone message from Anton, but I let them all go to message bank.
I had to return to work tomorrow and I just needed to work through the pain and
stress of this situation. About seven o’clock there was a knock at the door and
I decided not to answer until I saw it was Nik outside. I let him in. He pulled
me to him, desperate and in pain. I clung to him too.

“I’m so sorry about this Sarsh, but it’s not my child,
I’ll prove it to you. I have never cheated on you, I promise, I wouldn’t,” he
insisted, stroking my back.

“I believe you wouldn’t cheat, Nik, I honestly believe
you,” I assured him, touching his face as he pinned me against the wall near
the door. We hadn’t got much further than the entrance. “But we don’t know how
far along she is, it could still be your child?”

“How? I’ve always worn a condom, like we do. Always.”

“It could have broken,” I said.

“It didn’t break. It was one night and it didn’t
break. She’s fallen pregnant and she’s done a rough calculation, but it isn’t
me,” he said.

I offered him a coffee or drink but he declined. We
were both sick with heartache. I couldn’t eat or drink for the pain.

“Nik, I have to tell you what I’m thinking,” I said.
We stayed against the wall holding each other. “I think we need to take a
break.”

“No Sah-sha, don’t do this,” he begged me. “Don’t do
this.”

“Shh, hear me out. This woman might have just been a
one night stand, but you’re going to share something. If it is your child, you’re
going to see her grow with your child and you’re going to be there when that
child is born—all the time the two of you sharing this experience. She’s
beautiful, it is only natural you’ll be attracted to her throughout this.”

He shook his head and I quietened him so I could
finish. I continued, “You’ll wonder should you give the child a family—a normal
life, should you both give it a try, and all the time I’ll be somewhere in the
background, in your way.”

“No Sarsh, don’t do this.” He shook his head.

“You know deep down inside I’m right. And I love you
Nik,” my voice broke as I said it, “but I can’t bear to think of you bringing a
child into the world and sharing that experience with someone who is not me. If
you already had kids that would be different, but this is an experience I’m not
going to be part of. We need to separate until you sort it out, if you sort it
out.”

“There’s ways we can manage this. I’ve been
thinking...” he started, but I shut him down.

“At the end of the season, Nik, I’m going to go
away... go and live in Paris for six months and design and work. I need to get
away—there’s so many memories here that I have to have some distance from them until
I get perspective.”

He buried his face in my hair and breathed deeply.

“I love you
Süsse, this
changes nothing for me. Please stay with me, we’ll sort it out.”

I pulled away and shook
my head. He studied me with a direct gaze and then he righted himself, pulled
me closer again and kissed me. Releasing me and without looking back, he headed
out the door and I locked it behind him. I was sick to the core.