Tears of Endurance (Romantic Drama) Book #1 (16 page)

Chapter twenty nine

Arianna was in the maternity ward with Tristan by her side. As promised, Tristan was there every step of the way and now the most important day in both their lives had finally arrived. Arianna went from two centimetres dilated to eight centimetres after being induced by the midwife. All she was given was gas and air and, finally, 90 minutes later, baby Ben made his first appearance into the world.

Arianna cried tears of happiness and tears of sadness while looking at her beautiful son in her arms.
“He’s so beautiful,” she cried. Looking up towards the blue sky, she said, “I hope you’re watching right now, Ben. Here is your beautiful son.”

Tristan wiped away the tears falling down his face as Arianna held out baby Ben for him to hold.
“Hey there, Ben, welcome to the world, I’m your uncle Tristan.”

As Arianna looked on warmly at Tristan, a sensation ran through her whole being
; a sensation she’d only ever experienced once in her life, with Ben. Totally unprepared and not quite believing her own feelings, she brushed them to the back of her mind and locked them away for the time being. Her feelings felt so wrong and she thought she must be confused. She’d relied on Tristan so much recently and he looked so much like Ben. Every time she looked into his eyes, she could see Ben. She could not deny she’d formed an attachment towards Tristan. But that’s natural, she thought to herself, as she looked at Tristan spurting out words of wisdom to baby Ben. Her feelings were tormenting her, they were so mixed up. Arianna did not want to scare Tristan away; his friendship was everything to her. She needed him more than ever now and so did baby Ben. She felt a surge of guilt run through her entire body.
Displaced feelings, that’s all they are
, she convinced herself.

Tristan placed baby Ben gently back into Arianna
’s arms, the nurse came in to check on her and Tristan watched as the woman he’d fallen undeniably and irrevocably in love with over the past few months smiled up at him. He was enduring a silent pain no amount of words could heal. A pain there was only one cure for; Arianna’s reciprocation.

Now available on Amazon:

The Sequel - Whispers from Heaven

Excerpt - Chapter one

How does a person measure grief? It
’s not just a state of mind, it’s a mourning of the soul. A mind and heart that have become severely fractured need the help of time to heal the cracks as well as the love and support of loved ones. They have nothing left of the person they are grieving for, but the memories they retain. All those feelings of love they have running through every inch of their body are still there, they don’t suddenly disappear. What does a person do with all those feelings they are left with? Grief cannot be measured and there is no time limit to how long a person will grieve their loss.

Arianna glanced down to look at baby Ben, who was smiling up at her while gripping her little finger tightly. A tear slowly escaped down her cheek.
“Hey Ben, that’s one strong hold you have there,” she said as she watched him in awe. There was a sadness seeping through her veins that had held her hostage ever since Ben’s passing. The knowledge that her son would never meet his father tore her apart on a daily basis.

Baby Ben was now three months old, with beautiful brown eyes and exceptionally long eyelashes, which he
’d inherited from his father. Arianna loved him with all her being and had taken to motherhood with natural ease. She took Ben everywhere with her, including the gallery. She had taken to going for long walks at the back of the church in Coleshill with Ben strapped to her front. She would sit down on the bridge by the river Cole and tell Ben stories while he looked up at his mother with wonder in his eyes.

Tristan was true to his word and remained by her side every step of the way. She had grown to rely on him emotionally and couldn
’t imagine having come this far without him. Every once in a while, she was plagued by guilt for the way her mind tormented her. She would not believe her ever-growing feelings for Tristan were real; she was confused, they must be rebound feelings of some sort or another, a need to be loved by someone when she was feeling at her most vulnerable. She hated the way her mind tormented her and she fought her thoughts and feelings with all her being on a daily basis.

Arianna packed a small suitcase for herself and Ben
junior for their upcoming trip to Brighton. The timing was perfect now to scatter Ben’s ashes. Tristan had organised everything, right down to booking the same house they’d all stayed in together on their last trip to Brighton with his brother Ben before he died. Arianna took a picture of Ben from her purse and glanced at it with a sad smile. “I will always love you, Ben,” she said, crying to herself.

Picking up baby Ben, Arianna walked into the kitchen and looked out of the window while she was waiting for Tristan to arrive. She patted Ben
’s back gently as he started to drift off to sleep once again. Five minutes later, she saw Tristan pull up outside and smiled an affectionate smile as she watched him climb out of the car. She felt so lucky to have him by her side and yet she felt guilty for having taken up so much of his time over the last six months.
He had his own life to be getting on with
, she thought as she made her way downstairs to greet him.

“
Hey, are you all set then?”

“
Yes, all packed. Ben doesn’t travel light I’m afraid. I remember Casey teasing me a long time ago about mummy bags and I laughed at the time! Now here I am with a giant one of my own.”

“
Look, let me take your bag and the suitcase and I will go and pop them in the car. I already have a car seat fitted for Ben so we won’t be needing yours. I figured we were always switching the car seat from yours to mine and vice versa so I thought I would invest in one. It makes things far easier,” advised Tristan.

“
That was a genius idea, Tristan, and yes, it makes complete sense.” Arianna carried Ben out to the car and handed him over to Tristan so he could strap him in the car seat while she nipped back and locked up the house.

“
Okay, I’m ready when you are. Let’s go,” said Arianna eagerly.

Tristan glanced in the rear view mirror and watched as Arianna attended to Ben
junior in the back seat. His longing for her was ever stronger and most days he felt like he’d been subjected to the worst kind of torture. There was no end in sight and moving on was simply not an option for him. He could never look at another woman the way he looked at Arianna and he simply didn’t want to entertain the idea of settling for someone else. He loved her with all his being and for now, just being in her life and close to her would have to be enough, however hard it was to endure. He promised himself he would never cross that all-important invisible line between the two of them unless he was assured somehow his feelings were reciprocated, and that didn’t seem likely in his opinion. Arianna needed him sure, she relied on him. He knew this but he’d convinced himself this did not equate to any type of feelings other than that of friendship. There were occasions when he’d caught her staring at him and there was a moment between them, but he gave himself a pretty swift reality check and assured himself it was down to all the time they were spending together and her appreciation of him for all he was doing for her, and nothing more.

He turned up the volume on his car stereo, sang along to Kings of Leon, and turned his thoughts to Ben. This was such an important trip and one he wanted to make memorable for Arianna as well as for himself. He missed his brother deeply. Ben
’s passing had left a huge gaping hole in his life, one that would never be filled. He thought back to all the fishing trips he took to Brighton with Ben over the years and the fun they’d had when they were younger. He felt a sense of longing deep within himself, a yearning for love in his life, someone he could share the rest of his life with and be there for.

He remembered his mother
’s words.
We are the three musketeers, it’s us against the world
, she’d said often to both himself and Ben. Now it was just one musketeer and he was feeling pretty lonely of late. Ben had said to Tristan in one of their last heart-to-hearts before he died, “Life places many obstacles in our path as we journey through life, it’s how we deal with those obstacles that shapes the person we become.”

It was just like Ben to impart words of wisdom to Tristan when he felt he needed them. Ben had become emotionally strong towards the end in the face of death and Tristan admired him greatly for that. He would always remember those words
; every time he’d felt emotionally weakened over the months, those very words helped him draw inner strength.

Tristan remained strong for Arianna and baby Ben but when he was alone and behind closed doors, he shed many tears, freeing his emotions held captive deep inside of him.

END OF EXCERPT

Whispers from Heaven (now available)

About the Author

D.G. Torrens
has recently published
Whispers from Heaven
, the sequel to
Tears of Endurance
. The story continues where it left off. Will Tristan continue to suffer in silence? Will Arianna ever allow herself to fall in love again? Book Two is now available on Amazon. If you enjoyed Book One then you will love Book Two.

D.G. Torrens lives happily in
Birmingham, England, with her husband and four-year-old daughter. She is a full time mother and writer. On the birth of her daughter, D.G. Torrens decided to leave her job and become a full time mother, and a writer when time allows.

The author loves to connect with her readers so if you would like to learn more about D.G. Torrens then you can connect
with her at the following links:

Fan Page:
http://www.facebook.com/dgtorrens
Website:
http://dawnsdaily.com
Twitter:
@Torrenstp