Tears on My Pillow 2 (14 page)

                  Chandler manages to pin my legs down long enough for him to climb on top of me and sit on them. I manage to slap him in his face right before he pins my arms down, one on either side of my head.

                  He is leaning over me, staring me in my face. “I’ll wait,” he says calmly while breathing heavily.

                   “You’ll be waiting for a long fucking time!” I bark back at him.

                   I struggle for a few minutes longer trying to get loose but failing miserably. “Chandler, get the fuck up off of me. I’m serious. GET UP!”

                   Even though I am fuming with anger, Chandler doesn’t flinch. He is just looking at me. Once I am silent and still for a minute or so, he says, “I don’t love you, Qia?”

                   I want to lash out at him again but looking in his eyes, I can’t. I turn my head towards the TV, so that I can break out of the trance his eyes put me in. “No Chandler, you don’t love me. If you did love me, you wouldn’t do the things you do.” I feel my emotions bubbling up to the surface again and I don’t want that to happen, so I start to struggle again.

                   I come to the conclusion that me fighting him is useless and tiring, so I stop. “Are you done now?” he asks me.

                   I continue looking in the direction of the television, ignoring his question. “Qia.” I continue to ignore him.

                   “Qia, I need you to look at me, please.”

                   “What for Chandler? I just want you to get off of me, so I can leave. Please and thank you.”

                   “Qia, this is the last time I am going to ask you. Can you please look at me?” I finally cave and turn to look at Chan. The tears pool in my eyes as I look at him. What the fuck is going on with my life? My husband is a fucking man whore who I know I love but don’t think I am in love with anymore. Plus, what he has done is unforgivable. My best friend has known for twelve years about my husband and his side chicks but never once said anything. Then for some reason, I am heated as hell that I came over here and he had a woman visiting. I don’t understand the attraction that I have towards Chan now. I feel so dag on confused. I just want to get a hotel room, so that I can sit down and try to figure out what is going on with me. I also need to decide what is the best way to end my marriage to Jakari and possibly, my friendship with Chandler?

                   I am taken away from my inner thoughts when I feel Chandler’s lips press against mine. Without a second of hesitation, I kiss him back. As I suck on his lips, all of my anger melts away. His tongue starts to dance with mine and I feel my center getting wet. I hear his sneakers hit the floor as he kicks them off. Our kissing becomes aggressive and needy. Before I know it, I am unbuttoning Chandler’s jeans and he is pulling his shorts off of me. We don’t stop kissing at all. Not even for a moment.

                   I feel Chandler raise up a little bit. I can feel his hand moving around between us, trying to free his rod from his boxers. We finally break our kiss when he stands up next to the couch to remove his boxers and jeans from around his ankles. I spread my legs, nervously waiting for him to enter me. He situates himself between my legs and our eyes lock. We stare into each other's eyes as he leans over me and braces himself on his left arm while using his right hand to guide his rod, as he slowly pushes it inside of me. I arch my back as he stretches my wet hole to its full extent.

                   He leans down and we lock lips again. I moan as he pushes further inside of me and I feel how big he is. I tenderly bite his bottom lip as he begins to slip in and out of me. He is taking his time and stroking me so slow, it is driving me insane. He lifts his t shirt up over my breasts and sucks on my left breast, as he uses his other hand to play with the nipple on my right breast. This really gets my cream to flow, and I can feel his dick gliding in and out of me a lot easier now.

                   “Ummm Chan,” I moan. He dips further inside of me and I dig my nails into his back.

                   He sucks on my neck and I feel my cream thicken. He increases the speed of his stroke and I yell out. He stops and looks at me. “Am I hurting you?”

                   I open my eyes. “No, you just feel so good to me, Chan. Please don’t stop.”

                   Chan starts sliding in and out of me again as we stare into each other’s eyes. “Do you still think I don’t love you, Qia?”

                   At first, I can’t say anything because he is hitting all my walls. He increases the speed of his stroke and continues to stare into my eyes. “O! O!  O!” I yell each time he pushes inside of me. I want to fuck him back but his dick is so long and thick, it has me paralyzed.

                   “I’m in love with you, Qia. Can you feel how much I love you?” Chandler says as he begins to pound the hell out of me.

                  “OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD!” I yell out as he continues to ram into me. Hearing Chandler say that he is in love me with causes my pussy to pulsate. I feel my orgasm building.

                   “Damn Q. I’mma about to bust. Ummmm, your shit was made for me,” he groans. The cords in his neck appear as he starts to nut deep inside of me. Just as his orgasm is ending, mine begins.

                   Chan slows his pace, and I can hear how wet I am as he slides in and out of my pussy. I am surprised that since he already came, he is still hard. He puts his middle finger and index finger up to my lips. I suck on them and get them nice and wet, wondering what he plans to do with them. He takes those same two fingers and begins to tease my clit as he continues to stroke me at an even pace. “Yes, Chandler! Yes!”

                   He makes circles over my love button, going clockwise for a few seconds and then counter clockwise. It feels so good to have him massaging my clit and diving in and out of me at the same time. My legs start to shake and I feel my walls tighten around his dick. I look down and I can see Chan’s dick going in and out of me. I scream as my orgasm tears through my body and I see my cream coat his chocolate stick. “I am in love with you too,” I say, once my pussy and legs stop quivering.

February 10
th
, 2014

Monday

Jakari

                   After searching damn near every inch of the floor in my office, I finally locate Qia’s ring. I put it in my pocket as I get dressed. I pack up my things and step into the hallway. Thank goodness, the crowd that was here earlier has cleared out. I make sure to take all of my personal belongings with me, including the wedding picture that was on my desk. I am willing to bet my life that after today’s events, I will be terminated from RU. At the moment though, that is the least of my worries.

                   When I get to my car, I toss everything in the trunk and get in my car. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whisper to myself as I sit there waiting for my car to warm up. I have no idea what I am going to say to Qia. I have no idea what I could say that would actually work in my favor. I guess I will have to wing it, depending on what she says to me.

                   I pull out of the parking lot and stop when I get to a red light on Sumner Avenue. My mind begins to race, pumping out all kinds of questions like: How the fuck did she get the information that she was ranting about today? What else does she know? Does she remember the incident with Qisha now too? Nah. Nah. She doesn’t remember that because if she did, that would have been the first topic brought up during her reign in my office. A horn blowing from behind me frees me from my thoughts. I look up and verify that the light is green. I pull off slowly because there are icy puddles everywhere. The road conditions are so bad that I can barely do the speed limit. It must have really poured down raining earlier, judging by the road conditions. I guess God isn’t having a great day either.

                   I park in the driveway and sit there, looking at the Christmas tree that Qia and I planted in the yard just a few months ago. The already shattered pieces of my heart stab me just a little more, as I picture the radiant smile she had on her face when we talked about decorating that very tree with our babies one day. We both planned to grow old in this house together but, from the way things are shaping up, it’s starting to look like I will grow old here alone.

                   I lean my head back on the headrest, watching icicles fall from the eaves of roof, and admit to myself that I have finally lost the love of my life. I am so fucking stupid. Why didn’t I just stop my bullshit years ago!? Now that I sit here knowing what I know, I can see all the things I could and should have done differently. I have absolutely no idea of what I can do to turn things around.

                   I close my eyes and bow my head. “Lord, if you see it fit to bring Qia back to me, I promise that I will change my ways. Please, help her to find forgiveness in her heart for all the things I have done to her. Amen”

                   I open the door and get out the car. I mentally prepare for the fight of my life as I walk up to the front door. I open the door and I am greeted by silence and darkness. “Qia! Qia baby, you home?” I call out. No answer. I take my shoes off while listening hard to see if I hear the TV or Qia moving around in the house, but I hear nothing. The house hasn’t been this quiet since I first walked through with the Realtor. I close the door and walk down the hall to our bedroom, since there is no light on in the kitchen or living room. I look down the dark hallway into our bedroom, which is dark as hell too. I go in there anyway, hoping that maybe she is in there, just lying in the dark and not behind the door with a bat.

                   I flip the light switch on the wall and the ceiling light flickers on. I instantly know that she isn’t here and hasn’t been here. “Oh, Qia baby, where are you? Please come home,” I say, knowing she can’t hear me but hoping that her heart will. I grab my cell out of my pocket and dial her number. No shock, it goes straight to voicemail. I bet Chan was the one who gave her a ride up to the school. I don’t know why that nigga would have done that, knowing she was pissed but no need to focus on that now. I dial his cell and it ends with the same result. It rings endlessly until his voice mail finally picks up. I end the call without leaving a message. This fella really thinks he is going to be able to continue to ignore my calls.

                   I can guarantee one thing right now and that is Qia is not going to be allowed to stay away from this house for days at a time, like she did before. I will drag her ass here kicking and screaming if I have to. We need to talk and we are going to do just that. I need to apologize. She needs to unleash all the hurt and anger she is currently feeling, so that we can move on together.

                   I end up back in my car on my way to Chandler’s house. She doesn’t have her car back yet, so I am positive that she is with him. I know Qia must be a wreck, so it doesn’t shock me that she would go over to Chandler’s house. That would be second nature for her. I pull into his driveway and the black Jeep Liberty that is parked next to his car grabs my attention. This nigga got company; that’s the reason he ain’t answering my calls.

                   It’s too late in the evening for this to be a business meeting, so this dude must have some broad that he’s posting up with. She must be pretty special if he brought her to his house. Chan is real particular like that. Even as kids, he wouldn’t bring a girl to the house unless he was really serious about her, and I think that only happened twice. Right now though, he is going to have to put shorty on hold because I need to talk to Qia. Hopefully, Qia won’t make a scene in front of his guest.

                   I knock on the door. It seems to be taking Chan forever to answer it. I know I am anxious but still, he is taking a long damn time. He finally opens the door but has the nerve to barely crack it open, enough for me to see a small piece of his face. “What’s up, J?”

                   “Why you being rude nigga? You not gonna let your brother in? It’s fucking cold and it’s been a long fucking day.”

                   “As I am sure you deduced from the Jeep in the driveway, I have company,” he says, nodding his head towards the driveway.

                   “Chan, I need to talk to you, real quick. Let me in, it will only take a second.” I can tell he is extremely reluctant, but opens the door, so I can come in. I step into the living room and I see a purse sitting on the table. I smirk as I look at Chan standing there in his boxers.

                   Chan sees the look on my face. “Bro, like I said, I have company. What’s up?”

                   “Is Qia here?”

                   “Uh no!” He snaps at me.

                   “Well, have you talked to her?” I ask, wondering why he seems so nervous and antsy.

                   “I told you, I have been busy with my company, so when would I have time to talk to Qia?”

                   “From the way it smells up in here, you been getting very busy with your company. You got it smelling like incense and ass in here. So, you didn’t hear about anything what happened today?”

                   “Damn nigga. NO! Are we done here? I’ve got something I need to get into,” he says holding the door open.

                   “Shit, that ass must be good if you gonna rush me out the door, not giving a fuck about what’s going on with Qia,” I say walking towards the door. I do feel salty about the fact that he is just rushing me out, but on the other hand, I did ask him to step back, so maybe he has finally done that. “Catch ya later punk,” I say as I walk by him. I hear the door close and lock behind me as I walk to the car. I wish I was doing with my wife what he’s about to do to whoever he has in there.

                   As I get in the car and start it up, I hear Usher singing, “There Goes My Baby”. “What the fuck Ush? Why you fucking with me?” I say as I turn the radio off and back out of Chandler’s driveway.