Tears on My Pillow (5 page)

December 2
nd
2013

Monday

Jakari

     The honeymoon faze is now over and it’s back to work we go. This past weekend flew by because we had to go over to our old condo and get all of our remaining belongings packed up and turn the keys into the leasing office. I was so glad that Qia was a neat freak because once the moving company took all the boxes out the condo looked just like it did when we moved in four years ago.

     Qia had me in the store every day until she found the perfect desk for her home office. She also purchased TV’s for the kitchen, bedroom and her office. She racked up on flatware, curtains, bathroom sets, and art for the walls. As cold as it is this woman even talked me into getting two sets of patio furniture! I knew at that moment that we would be in this house until we died because if I had to go on another shopping spree with her I wasn’t going to make it out alive. I lay in bed smiling at the past week knowing that with all my complaining I wouldn’t have changed this past weekend for anything in this world.

     My first class today doesn’t start until noon but Qia’s first class started at eight o’clock so when I woke up at ten o’clock she was long gone. I had her to take a more traditional schedule so that when she starts having our children it won’t be hard to get a babysitter and we wouldn’t have to leave the baby for big chunks of time. I also needed to have time to do what I need to do on campus when the opportunity arises.

     I was happy when Qia decided to apply for a position at Rosemond University because she really wanted to go to Welch College where Chandler is. Honestly it would have been better for her but I didn’t like being away from her for nine to ten hours out of the day and the thought of not knowing who works there and how they might try to talk to my wife drove me crazy.

     I love my wife and she hasn’t given me even the slightest reason not to trust her but I don’t know if I would be able to control myself if she cheated on me. I know I don’t give her any reason to cheat and she definitely doesn’t give me any but yet I still do it whenever I get a chance.

     Thinking about cheating brings me back to the conversation I had with Azia on Thanksgiving Day. I am going to send her a text telling her to come to my office hours so I can give her the money for an abortion, even though I know there either isn’t a baby or it’s by someone else.  I’m not about to let no young pussy mess up what Qia and I have. I decide to go ahead and get up and get dressed so I can leave a little early and stop by the bank to withdraw the money. I don’t know how much an abortion costs but I am pretty sure a thousand dollars should be more than enough to cover it.

     I get to work and stop by Qia’s classroom since it is between classes for her. She looks gorgeous in her navy blue suit. The jacket fits perfect and really calls attention to her perky breasts. I love the way her knee length pencil skirt hugs her curves. She has her hair up in a bun with a straight bang. I don’t know how these kids could concentrate with her as their teacher because I know it would be impossible for me.

     She looks up from the paperwork on her desk and smiles when she sees me approaching.
“Good morning”
she says as I pass the last desk in the front row.

     “Good morning
, you must have been moving like a ninja this morning because I didn’t even hear you leave.” I say staring at her lips wanting to lean over her desk and suck on them.

     “I was quieter than usual cause I didn’t want to wake you. Why are you here so early?”
She says and gives me a wink.

     “I’m doing office hours from eleven until noon today.”
I lick my lips and adjust my package as I feel it start to grow.

     “Oh, okay.”
She says looking back at her paperwork.

     “You want to order in tonight and kick back with me?”

     She smiles and runs her tongue across her burgundy colored lips causing an even bigger reaction from my rod.

    “UMMM yes I would love for you to stay in me tonight”
She whispers.

     “Let me get going before you get something started right here on top of your desk”
I wink and leave her classroom headed to my office to make sure Azia is clear about what needs to be done.

December 2
nd
2013

Monday

Qia

     Students begin to arrive for my next class. The first student to arrive is normally upbeat but this morning she walks in with her head down.

     “Good morning, Dezirae. Are you okay?”
She looks at me with puffy eyes. This girl looks like she has been crying for days.

     “Morning Professor Roberson. No honestly I am not okay.”

     I can see tears pooling on the rim of her eyelids. I decide to take her into my office to see if maybe there is something I can help with.
“Dezirae step into my office please.”

     Without saying a word, she walks over and put her books on her desk. She turns around and comes back up front and follows me to my office. I close the door and the blinds before I ask
“what is going on?”

     “I’m too embarrassed to say.”

     “You should never be too embarrassed to get help. I can only help with your problem if I know what your problem is.”

     She catches me completely off guard when she says
“Can you make my boyfriend want our baby?”

     I sit on the edge of the small teacher’s desk that is in my office.
“You’re pregnant?”
I ask already feeling defeated.

     “Yes ma’am.”
She replies averting her small round brown eyes away from mine.

     “How do you know he doesn’t want the baby?”
I ask trying to get a handle on the situation.

     “He had no problem telling me that when I told him about the baby!”
She says with the volume of her voice elevating a bit and trembling.

     “What is more important Dezirae is do you want your baby and are you ready to be a parent?”

     She buries her head in her hands and begins to sob uncontrollably. I walk around behind her and lightly rub her back.
“I’m so sorry Dezirae. I think you should go home and take some time to think about all of this and talk to your parents. They will be able to help you decide what the right thing for you is. I will email you what I go over in class today so you don’t get behind, okay?”

     She barely gets it out but none the less she says
“Thank you.”
She stands up and walks out of my office.

     I shake my head feeling so bad for Dezirae. I really hope she doesn’t allow this to mess up her future. I tell you these young girls spreading their legs for the first cute immature fella that shows them an ounce of attention always gets them in hot water.

December 2
nd
2013

Monday

EJakari

     When I walk in the house from work, I hear Qia on the phone. I hear her saying
“I don’t know what to do.”
I pause and close the door quietly wondering if I had just walked in on something. My heart beat speeds up as I stand there listening to her.

     She continues
“I’m not sure an abortion is the answer.”
My breathing becomes heavy and rapid. I ball up my fists and squint my eyes. Why would my wife want to have an abortion as much as I want kids! The only reason would be if she is pregnant by someone else because she is cheating on me! I proceed down the hall at full speed and enter the kitchen. I throw my keys on the table startling Qia.

     “Who the fuck are you talking to?”
I say as calmly as I can muster at the time.

     She looks at me with a confused and irritated expression.
“Qia I said who are you talking to about getting a fucking abortion?!”
My voice is now loud and demanding.

     She stares at me for a moment and then begins to speak to the person on the phone
“Let me….”
I don’t wait for her to finish her sentence. I snatch her cell phone out of her hand.

     “Who is this?!”
I say loudly into the microphone.

     I feel like a real idiot when the female voice on the other end says
“Hi I’m Tiffani.”

     “Tiffani I would really like to apologize for my actions a few moments ago. I have to make up with my wife because I can tell by the look on her face that she is pissed. She’ll call you back.”
I hang up the phone and Qia gets up and walks out the kitchen.

     I follow behind her
“Qia, baby, I’m sorry. I just lost it when I thought another man had been putting his manhood inside you and enjoying what’s mine.”

     “You mean you jumped to the wrong conclusion when you were ease dropping?”
She shot back.

     Qia is normally the one trying to defuse the situation but I know she is heated because I can see fire in her eyes right now. I know that I over reacted but I lose my mind when it comes to my wife. When we reach our bedroom I run up behind her and grab her around her waist. I playfully toss her on our bed.

     “Jakari, STOP! I am mad as hell!”
She says without cracking a smile.

     I get on top of her.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to embarrass you. Please forgive me.”
I say leaning down and attempting to kiss her but she turns her face away from me.
“So that was Tiffani from the trip?”
I ask trying to soften her attitude.

     “Yup.”

     Okay   so I guess I am going to have to carry the conversation because she has resorted to one word flat answers. Damn I hate when she gets like this.
“Why after ten years would she want an abortion?”

     “Seriously you are still jumping to conclusions?”
She rolls her eyes and sucks her teeth at me before turning her face away from mine again. I just stare at her for a moment and then I roll onto the bed next to her wondering how long this attitude is going to last.
“If you have to know Mr. Nosey, we were talking about one of my students. She came to class today crying with puffy eyes and all. I pulled her into my office and she told me that she is pregnant.

     “Wow that’s too bad. What’s up with the knuckle head daddy? Is that the reason she wants an abortion?”

     “I don’t think it is necessarily that she wants one but the father told her he doesn’t want the child. It was bothering me so I reached out to Tiffani because she is a high school teacher in Atlanta. Unfortunately, she says she runs into these type of situations all the time.”
My wife shakes her head and knowing her it’s because she wants to help the girl but knows there is nothing much she can do.

     I sit up and move to the edge of the bed planting my feet on the floor. My mind starts to wander and I find myself wondering who the student is that my wife is talking about. Is it Azia? If it is I will strangle that bitch for approaching my wife with this baby bullshit! If it is Azia then what did she tell Qia? You would think she would be tripping more if some student told her she is pregnant by her husband. The suspense is killing me so I step out on a limb and ask
“What’s this student’s name?”

“Her name is Dezirae. Do you know her?”

     I do know Dezirae but I banged her once last year when she was a sophomore. The experience wasn’t enough for me to keep coming back so we never talked again. She text me a few times but unlike like most women she got the hint when I didn’t respond to her. Now she walks by me in the halls like we are strangers and that is fine with me. I reply
“NO! Nope can’t say that I do.”
I allow myself to breathe and think to myself ‘I am getting too old for this shit.’

December 2
nd
2013

Monday

Azia

     Jakari Roberson don’t know but he’s about to find out. He got the wrong bitch. We been dating for a little over three months and it appears that he is no closer to leaving his wife now than he was ninety days ago. I thought he would end up calling off the wedding but he actually went through with it which just made things more complicated for me. Jakari has been busting my shit wide open at least two times a week. I have been waiting for him to slip up and hit it with no condom but that nigga was stocked well on them damn rain coats apparently because every time we have an encounter he fishes one out.

     I want more from Jakari. It made me sick to my stomach the way he falls all over his wife. I know I don’t have a leg to stand on because that is his wife but I am jealous. I want that treatment for myself. That was one of the things that drew me to him. It takes everything in me not to jump up and scream when he stops by her class or when I see him in the hallways and he looks right through me. Initially I thought with a little bit of time and great pussy he would start to fall more my way but that certainly wasn’t the case. He is still only seeing me twice a week during his fake fucking office hours.

     I can’t stand being by myself, I guess because I saw my mother do it, so while I am waiting for Mr. Professor to give me more time I am screwing the other Mr. Professor, his brother, Chandler. This is my senior year and my dream is to graduate and marry well have a few kids and maybe use my degree when I turn about thirty five. As a kid my mother was a single mom and I saw her struggle and cry many of nights all alone. I don’t want that for myself. I saw my father during the summers and it hurt because he went off and had a whole new family with another woman that he even chose to marry and basically acted like he was doing me a favor by letting me spend the summers with them.

     I only decided to come to college because my mother instilled in me that education is everything. She said that if you want a stable financially comfortable life then you have to start with a solid foundation and that is education. I figured that if education is the key then what better place to find my provider, my husband, and baby daddy than college.

     I would rather be with Jakari till death do us part but Chandler will do nicely as well if that can’t be. What one brother won’t do another one will because Chandler has been asking me, damn near begging me, to hit it raw but like I said he is just my backup so I want to make sure Jakari is not really going to leave Qia before I make things permanent with Chandler.  However, if I get pregnant by Chandler, that may be the answer to my prayers. They are brothers and look a lot alike except for the eye color so I may be able to pass Chandler’s baby off for Jakari’s. I smile while weighing that as an option.

     I am more than pissed when Jakari calls me to his office to give me the you are going to have an abortion speech. He even has the cash ready. It hurt that he is acting like he didn’t want any parts of our fake baby. His actions remind me so much of my father and the way he interacted with me. I need the money so I take it because a woman can certainly get pregnant more than once and I know Jakari is going to want to push up in this sooner than later.

     Me messing with Chandler is turning out to be so beneficial. I am sitting here in my dorm room floating on cloud nine because Chandler said that he is ready to introduce me to his family! I am hoping Jakari comes around before I have to blow my cover as far as the fact that I am fucking his brother but I guess that will determine who I end up with but please make no mistake if I don’t end up with Jakari his wife will find out about he and I.