Teasing Hands (19 page)

“Camden.” There went the small measure of calm I’d managed to garner. His name sounded wrong coming from her lips. Like a betrayal. “Don’t look at me like that,” she fumed. “I would never.”

For a split second, I felt like a small child chastised by their mother for stealing a cookie. But then I remembered that she had no right to look for him.

“Why?” I hated the way my voice croaked with the one word, making me sound like the weak little girl I was not. Fuck him for making me feel shit I never wanted to again.

“Because that asshole did something to break my friend
.” The spite in her words shocked me. “And this time, I wasn’t going to sit back and let
Hunter
happen all over again.” The anger wasn’t directed at me, but the venom she still held over what Camden did made me shake.

“Sorry.” My mumbled response only infuriated her.

“Its never been your fault, but his!” Courtney yelled and finally took a seat beside me. “He made my secure and loving friend into this,” she waved her manicured hand in front of me, “shell of a girl.”

While these words cut, she was right. I was insecure and hated it.

“How is he?” My voice was meek and low. Maybe I overreacted and should’ve let him explain, but how did you excuse letting that whore hang all over you?

“You want the truth?” It was my turn to glare. “Finally, some fire in those eyes.”

“Court—”

“Camden’s a mess.” The thought of him in pain made me whimper. It hurt to know he wasn't okay and that maybe, just maybe, it was because of me. “He might no realize it yet, Mandi, but he loves you.”

20

The night’s sky illuminated the dark waters in front of me. Majestic, yet the dangerous edge the darkness added only intensified its mystery. Their danger.

Camden was like that for me—beautiful, yet a risk for my heart.

“Are you going to sit
there all night?” Stephanie yelled out from the house’s deck. All day they had tried to cheer me up, to get me out of the funk I was in, and to get lost in the tropical atmosphere and the cute men that roamed these streets. “We’re heading out in fifteen. Come with us.”

“Not in the mood, chicky.” And I really wasn’t. I needed this time alone to dwell and release all the pent-up emotions I
’d kept hidden inside. Tomorrow would be a new day. One where he no longer mattered. There was no room in my future for those that didn’t love me. “Just not tonight.”

Stephanie signed and pursed her lips. “You can’t stop living because of their stupidity, Mandi.” To say the girls were upset with what happened yesterday would be putting it mildly. Even worse
had been hearing Courtney share about her visit with Camden.

How she swore that he loved me and was close to realizing it.

How he told her that he missed me.

At this point, I just didn’t believe it.

“I’m not, but need this time out. I promise, tomorrow, things will be different.”

“Fine. Have it your way.” She wasn’t happy with my reluctance
, but let it go and headed back into the house.

What I didn’t understand was why this short affair had affected me so. Why him?

Because you love him.

I thought I knew pain when Hunter left me, but this felt as if I were being choked by my own emotions. The pain in my chest was unlike anything I’d dealt with before.

In the distance, I heard the slam of car doors signaling their departure.

Alone.

That’s how I felt, and welcomed it. The tears I’d been so dead set on suppressing flowed down my cheeks until I gasped for breath.

This was therapeutic. What I needed to think clearly in order to settle my thoughts and feelings. With each tear I shed, the pain softened into a dull throb. Still there, yet manageable.

My mind wandered back to that night at Rage, and a small sob erupted at the happiness he exuded while she kissed his chin. How he pulled her in just a tiny bit closer.

On the outside, he looked like a man enjoying the attention—yet the tightness around his eyes said differently.

Why didn’t I notice that before? There was sadness in those chaotic, sea-colored eyes. While his body had welcomed her advances, his eyes had shown repentance, and if he belonged to no one, why the guilt?

Camden never kissed her mouth even though she pouted those overdone lips at him. Instead, he laid a tiny peck to the top of her head like one would a sister. His hands were on top of the table, and I never saw them wander her body
as he’d done mine every time I was near.

He was a tactile man and could never control his hands within my presence, always touching and exploring. Bringing me to the edge of insanity and past the point where I broke.

“Maybe I should have let you explain,” I spoke aloud into the deserted beach. “But what the fuck would that have solved?” The end result would still be the same, he was there with her. It was his arms that she was wrapped up in. His body she touched and kissed.

“Did you take her home?” Fuck. That was one question I’d suppressed and ignored as it lingered in the back of my head. Even after I left, did he go back to her?

Did those same teasing hands I loved so much bring her pleasure?

The bile rose up, and I dry-heaved into the damp sand. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this shit?

“I hate that I love you.”

“Please don’t say that.” My body froze, and my heart thumped harshly at the sound of pain in his voice. “
Gatita
,” Camden whispered. “My sweet
gatita
.”

Camden was close; his body heat burned me through my near-naked state. I had never changed out of the white string bikini I’d worn out to the water earlier in the day.

His shadow overpowered mine in the sand. Like everything else about him, even hi
s
silhouett
e
 
seemed larger than life.

“Please don’t come any closer.” If he touched me now, I wouldn’t survive. Ignoring my plea, he sat behind me in the sand and pulled me in against him, my back to his sculpted chest, and I shivered at the contact.

“I can’t do that. Staying away is not an option anymore.” Branded. That’s how I felt as his arms caged me in and he kissed my neck.

“That’s not your decision to make.” The hands around my waist tightened at my words. His lips were pressed over my pulse point as he breathed in my scent. The shiver
that ran through him shook me, and the tears flowed again.

“Don’t cry, baby.” His larger frame enveloped me, trying to draw the hurt out of me and into his body. “I’m sorry, Amanda…so sorry for trying to push away the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

My heart wanted to believe him. God fucking dammit, all of me did, but what if he pushed me away again? If I gave in and he didn’t return my feelings, I’d crumble.

“Don’t feed me lies because you feel guilt.” Grabbing his hands, I tried to pry them from around my mid-section, tried to gain some kind of space between his body and mine, but he wouldn’t let me. Refused my attempts at every turn and entwined his fingers with mine. “Leave.”

“No.” Camden growled low. One of his hands wrapped themselves in my hair and pulled my head back. My eyes met his stormy ones, and I whimpered at the desire that scorched my veins. No matter how I tried to hate him, my body still craved his.

I pushed back against his hardened cock and moaned at the feel of him. He may not love me, but he longed for me as I did him.

“Stop it,
gatita
.” His demanding tone only added fuel to my arousal. “I’m not fucking you. Not like this.”

A snort escaped me. How chivalrous of him to
try
and
act
as if I mattered. “Why the fuck not? We both want—hey!” I was caught off guard by his sudden movement. He was gone from against me for a fraction of a second, but before I could run away, Camden grabbed me and twisted me around until he had me on my back beneath him.

“Not like this.”

“Funny,” I deadpanned with a raised brow. It was easier to act like a bitch than show fear. “Because from where I lay—”

“Shut the fuck up, Amanda.” The sudden anger scared me. I’d never seen him so upset. With a hand placed in the middle of his chest, I pushed him back. This incensed him further. “Quit fighting me.”

“Get off!” I attempted to kick him off, it didn’t work. Instead, he laid more of his body weight on me and pushed my legs apart. It was the sweetest of tortures to feel all of him again. Hard. Throbbing against my sex.

“Stop.” And my traitorous body complied.

“What the hell were you doing with Cynthia?” I huffed and made to push him off, but he was having none of it.

“Everyone from work was there…didn’t you notice that we weren’t alone at the table?” I nodded. “They work there too. Cynthia sat next to me, she was drunk, and I was mad for feeling what I felt.”

“The fuck—”

He placed a finger over my lips
.
“Hush and let me finish.” I glared up at him. “Yes, I was mad and wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t feel for you what I do. I failed that little bullshit project the second she sat down next to me. Everything felt wrong. Do you know why?” Camden didn’t wait for me to reply. “Because you weren’t there, but then you were. You witnessed my biggest regret to date, and for that, I am very sorry.”

“I’m still mad, you know.”

“Expected as much, just don’t walk away. I’ll take the anger any day over watching you walk away again.” His solemn tone was full of hurt. As hard as it had been for me to leave him, it was equally as hard for him to watch me walk away.

“What if you get tired of me…then what? Will you go out to prove another point to yourself?”

“Look at me.” Stubbornly, I turned my cheek toward the water’s edge. Camden sighed above me and laid a gentle kiss on my cheek. “Please,
gatita
. I need you to look at me while I say what I came to say.”

“Can’t.” A fresh round of tears escaped my eyes. The emotional roller coaster was taking its toll on me. One second I wanted him, the next I feared for my sanity.

“Then you leave me no choice.” His mouth spoke against my skin—skimming those lips I loved across my cheek and kissed my tears away. “I love you too.” A broken sob left me. How could he be so cruel? Camden loved and belonged to no one.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“You came and flipped the puzzle pieces that made up my life into a picture I didn’t understand. Didn’t want to.” With a tender touch, he pulled my face toward his. Our noses touched. “One look from you was all it took for you to mark me as yours. I was never in charge of the game we played.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” There was a renewed hope in my voice.

“Because I love you.” His eyes bored into mine; they swirled with so many emotions. “Please don’t make me leave…let me love you,
gatita
. Let me give you all of me.”

“You’re asking for a lot, Camden. I’m not a toy.” Of their own accord, my hands wrapped themselves around his neck, holding him in place. Our foreheads touched, and my lips puckered the slightest bit to skim his. “It’s either all in or walk away.”

“Never again. All I want is to be yours.” That was all I needed to hear. The gaping hole that had been in my chest for the past week closed, healed with the soothing balm his words applied.

“I love you.”

He smiled. It was my smile—slightly crooked and perfect. “Thank you,” he whispered before his lips met mine in the softest of kisses. Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, he pulled back and looked at me. “I didn’t sleep with her.
Gatita
…didn’t even kiss her.” He leaned down and nipped my bottom lip once more before continuing. “Since that night at Rage, where I approached you, there’s been no one else. No one.”