Telesa - The Covenant Keeper (28 page)

“No, I don’t know. All I know is that’s what people say to me in town when I can’t understand them. What’s it mean?”

Daniel’s smile was soft, his eyes alight with understanding.

“
Paalagi
– that’s what Samoans use for white people. A long time ago when the first white people came in their boats, Samoans thought they had literally exploded through the sky, so they called them ‘sky bursters.’

“Oh, I get it now.” Pleased to finally have the word make sense to me, I went back to studying his tattoo. “It’s beautiful. I like it. I wouldn’t ever get one done myself, I’m way too chicken. But this is beautiful.”

“Thanks. I’m getting myself prepped to get a
pe’a
done later this year.”

I turned questioning eyes at him. “What’s that?”

“You know, the full body tattoo that the men get? Have you seen any? It’s not as common as it used to be, but there’s still quite a few around.”

I blanched as I realized what he was talking about. I had seen pictures of the detailed tattoo that covered a man’s body from waist to past the knee, and I had heard horror stories about people who died from it. “Daniel, are you crazy? Why would you do that? What does your grandmother think about it. Is this her idea?”

Daniel shook his head. “No, she hates it. Whenever I talk about it she reacts pretty much the same way you are now. It’s the one thing we argue about, well, besides you… She’s still determined to change my mind. But, I’m sure. It’s what I want.”

Almost stupidly, I asked again, “But why?”

“Traditionally, a
pe’a
marked the passage of a boy to manhood. And it was the mark of a warrior, one who was brave enough to defend the village, his family. My grandfather had one – a Tongan one, and I would like to honor him and my culture by having one done as well.” He spoke simply and I could see there was no swaying him.

“May I?” I gestured to his arm, dying to do what I had longed to since the first time I saw him.

“Sure.” He shrugged.

Hardly daring to breathe, I reached with a trembling hand and traced the pattern of his tattoo, beginning at the tip of his shoulder and moving down his forearm, dancing over the swirls, the bold geometric designs. Leaning closer, I peered intently at the patterns, seeking their hidden stories. I wished I dared to put my lips on his skin. It felt so … smooth. I was surprised.

“I thought it would feel bumpy – you know – scratchy. Like raised patterns on your skin.”

“No. When a tattoo is well done, there’s none of that. The patterns blend with your skin.” His short tone confused me. Was he angry at my invasion of his space? I dropped my hand quickly.

“Sorry. I was just curious.”

“Don’t be. Sorry I mean. It’s not you. It’s …” For once he seemed to be struggling with words, oddly ill at ease.

“What’s wrong?” I wanted to smile at his discomfort. It was … nice … to see
him
be the one out of sorts for a change. I peered at him closer. “You’re positively squirming! What is it? Come on, tell me.”

He ruffled his hair – a gesture I recognized now as a sign of when he was ill at ease. He took a deep breath, bracing himself. When his words came, they stumbled over each other in a rush to be spoken.

“I can’t handle it when you touch me like that. I don’t like it – I mean – I like it but I can’t handle it. This. I can’t handle this.”

There was an awkward silence as I struggled to process the punch to the solar plexus that his words had dealt me.

“Oh. I see.” But I didn’t. He liked me touching him but he didn’t? What did he really mean? What was he really trying to say? Was he trying to tell me nicely that he
didn’t
feel anything physical for me? Like those inane teenage romances, was he trying to tell me that he liked me but he ‘just wanted us to be friends’? I wanted to scream with frustration. Why couldn’t people just say what they felt and be done with it? Come to think of it – why didn’t I?

He watched me intently, trying to gauge my reaction to his statement.

“Do you
really?
Do you really get what I’m trying to say?” His question was earnest. I decided to go with total honesty.

“No. I don’t. I don’t get it, Daniel. You like it – but you don’t? Why don’t you just come out and be straight with me? Don’t I deserve that after everything we’ve been through?”

He bit his lip, still seeming unsure. “Leila, there’s a reason I don’t have a girlfriend. Why I don’t even play around with anyone. I won’t risk doing what my dad did
to anyone.
My mom killed herself because of what he did. Getting her pregnant. Leaving her. I promised myself I would never treat any girl, any woman that way. But now, with you, the past few weeks … it’s like I can’t stop myself from wanting to see you. To be with you. I tell myself, it’ll be okay, we can be friends, we can hang out. I like hanging out with you. It’s all I look forward to every day. But when you’re so close to me like this and you touch me like that, I keep thinking of things that I shouldn’t. That I promised myself I never would.”

“Things?” I whispered the question so softly that he had to lean closer to catch it.

“Yeah things. Like … this.” He leaned close, so close I hardly dared to breathe. I kept still, so still. His breath was hot against my skin as, hesitantly, his lips met my cheek, lingered and then danced to my mouth. When his lips touched mine, they were feather soft and gentle. His hands came up to cradle my face as we kissed, caressing my throat delicately as if he feared I would shatter in his embrace. He tasted like he smelled. Sweet pineapple and a salty edge of coconut. All my senses drank him in deeply. He was the exhilaration of the rushing falls against my naked skin on a steaming tropical night, the burn of volcanic rock, baked hot in the noon-day sun. He was the caress of a jasmine fragranced breeze as I danced barefoot in a moonlit night. He was all this and more. I drank him in deeply, my hands moving of their own accord to clutch fistfuls of his tousled hair.

“Oww!” His shocked exclamation interrupted our embrace, as he pushed himself away from me, leaving me bewildered. “That hurts!?” His face was puzzled and disbelieving as he looked from me to his hands, and then reaching to feel his lips.

What was happening? Flushes of heat swept through me. Again and again. No, something was wrong. The kiss was over but flames were lapping at my feet, burning my insides. I felt hot. So hot. Too hot. The air burned in my chest like a furnace. Burning, burning – like that boy’s face. Flesh scorched and peeling. No, I shook my head in protest.

“No. Not again. Not now. Not to you. Please!” I lurched to my feet, looking wildly for an escape. I had to get away from here. Away from Daniel – before I hurt him. I would die rather than hurt Daniel.

“Lei –Leila, what’s happening? Leila!?”

He put his strong arms around me to keep me captive, stop me from fleeing – only to drop them instantly, wincing with pain.

“Leila?” The fear in his voice was reflected in my eyes. He was afraid of me. The boy I wanted near me with every fibre of my being – was
afraid
of me. That awful realization only served to heighten the raging fire within. Burning pain like hot knives stabbed at me from all sides, I couldn’t stop it.
Please, make it go away. Make it stop.

“Daniel! Daniel, get away from me. Get a-way – from –
ME!
”

With all my might, I shoved Daniel away from me and fell to my knees as the pain overwhelmed me. I screamed and, with my scream, the fire tore loose and I could contain it no longer. It was an amazing feeling of release to let it go, like the steam in a pressure cooker blowing its top. Flames burst from my entire body, dancing tendrils of red and gold, a fiery sunset lancing the night sky. There was a rushing, crackling in my ears, like I was trapped in the midst of a blazing forest. Yet, incredibly there was no more pain. I was hot – but deliciously so. Like an arctic dweller who glories in the welcome return of the sun. A sunbather revelling luxuriously in sun-baked sand. I stood, raising my arms, gazing in wondrous awe at the liquid fire that swirled and rippled all over them. My clothes had vanished – incinerated in one explosive heartbeat – but a minor detail like nakedness meant nothing to me now. I was on fire. And it didn’t hurt! I was living, breathing molten fire – contained no more in a pitifully weak body of flesh and blood. Skin was replaced by flowing red and gold, like lava. I felt my cheeks, my hair. I breathed and the fire pulsed brighter. I twirled on tiptoe and my flames danced with me. I flicked my fingers – and a tiny fireball flew out, landing, fizzling harmlessly in the evening air. A rush of pure joy ripped through me as I gloried in the full realization of my fiery power. I was virtually indestructible! No-one and nothing could hurt me now! It was the most exhilarating feeling I had ever experienced.

“Woohoo! Yes!” my exultant scream ripped through the darkening evening, scattering a flock of feisty myna birds in the mango tree beside us. I laughed again and experimented, flicking my hands to watch a bigger, basketball-sized circle of fire shoot from my fingers and land on a fallen coconut frond. It burst into flame and I was awash with glee. It was beautiful. It lit up the night and
I
had created it! I wanted to dance around the flames.

“Leila? Is that you?” the voice was hesitant behind me. I turned, vaguely irritated with the interruption.

Daniel, beautiful Daniel, stared at me in shock, shielding his eyes from the heated sparks that emanated from my new body.

“Yes it’s me! Daniel, I’m on fire and it doesn’t hurt a bit and its glorious. See?” I concentrated for the briefest of moments, unsure if my idea would work. I held my breath, letting the steamy furnace build until I could hold it no longer and then blew a huge whooshing breath into the air. A line of fire spewed out of my mouth like fireworks, spinning and spiralling through the sky until it landed several meters away, setting the dry grass alight. I laughed delightedly.

“See? Its magical!” More, I wanted more. More fire, more flames. More fuel. More heat. More power.

Turning to the expanse of grass behind me, I threw balls of fire one after another like an endless flame thrower. The entire field lit up the night. I had never realized how many different colors danced in a fire. At the heart was a scatter of red rubies mingled with sapphire green, twisting upwards into ropes of gold flecked with black diamonds. The smoke was a blanket of grey velvet, plumed with feather-white pearl tendrils. It was mesmerizing. Who could resist it? I walked into the beckoning flames, savouring its embrace. I worshipped the fire and it danced and breathed to my command. Dimly, I heard a voice calling.

“Leila! Leila! Don’t do this, wait. Think about what you’re doing. Leila!”

Daniel was bent double, racked with coughing as smoke choked him. Foolish boy. Why did he not turn and run? Why was he trying to follow me? I motioned for him to go back. The path to the road was clear. He could be out of the fire’s range and breathe easy.

“Go away Daniel! Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Get out of here!”

I strained to hear his reply over the crackling hungry flames all around me.

“No – Leila – the hostel, don’t do it. The hostel!” He pointed behind me, his hoarse scream piercing me with coldness as I followed the direction of his gaze.

My glorious blaze was fast consuming the field and heading straight towards the school dorms. Only a thin ribbon of tar sealed road separated it from the bushes that skirted the shabby array of buildings. The dining hall, the study, the bedrooms. Rooms where people slept, studied, laughed, lived, and breathed.

It was like a deluge of ice shocking me out of my fiery mania. NO what had I been thinking? What was I doing? People were going to get hurt. I could have hurt Daniel, standing there choking in clouds of smoke he could already be in great danger. Waves of panic swept over me. Where moments before the inferno had been my soul mate, my friend – now it seemed like an uncontrollable beast, hungrily devouring everything in its path. What had I done? What had I created?

“No … please … no, stop. How to stop it? How can I stop it?” I burst into useless tears. Tears that fizzed and hissed in a heartbeat of heat. No amount of crying would help us now. I wrung my hands. No way out of it. It was hopeless. In a few short moments I would be a mass murderer. A killer. In my mind’s eye, I could see it now. People on fire, running in circles, frantically beating at the hungry flames. The smell of flesh scorching, peeling off ashy bone. Screams. Pleas for help. Help that wouldn’t come. I sank to my knees, drained of strength. Unwilling to watch the carnage but unable to take my eyes away. I was drowning in a sea of fiery despair. Suffocating in a red night of terror.

A clear, calm voice spoke with authority and assurance. The voice of one accustomed to being obeyed.

“Leila. Call it back. You can do it. Call it back. Call it back NOW.”

I looked up, eyes glistening with molten tears. Daniel stood as close to me as he dared. The edges of his clothes singed and charred.

“I can’t.” Abject despair in my voice. “I don’t know how.”

“Yes, you can. You have the power. You know you do. You spoke to it before. It listens to you. Call it back now – before it’s too late. Please.”

It was the
please
that did it. That snapped me out of the depths. Daniel wanted me to call the fire. He believed that I could. And I wanted Daniel to believe in me. Slowly, I raised myself from the ground, closed my eyes and willed for that fiery beast to come home. To listen to me its mistress. To return and feed instead on my molten core. I trembled at the very thought of that massive blaze finding its way back inside me. How could I possibly summon it all when it had grown so exponentially as it fed? But this was my fault. I had to find the strength from somewhere. I opened my eyes and shuddered at the majesty of the sight before me.

Directly ahead of me was a massive wall of fire. The fire had stopped advancing across the field and now it stood waiting. The beast waited for my command. It had halted its onslaught and turned its head. Now, it asked – what would you have me do? Opening my arms, every ounce of my being quivering with fear, I summoned it home.