Temporary Monsters (15 page)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lenny opened his eyes. He lay flat on his back in the comedy club.

“Are you all right?” It was Lenore's voice. She leaned over him in concern.

“We found the letter,” he replied, glad that he could talk again. “But it was far more dangerous than we imagined.”

That wasn't what he really meant. The first day cover wasn't dangerous by itself; it was everything that happened around the letter. Lenny did his best to explain, giving a quick summary to Lenore, Swami Phil, and the Baron. Like how his finger snapping seemed mostly to get Sheila to change clothes (Lenore seemed to frown a bit during his descriptions of the wardrobe), until one final snap led to the revelation of the first day cover. Which was in turn followed by his frustration with not being able to actually grab it and run.

Swami Phil nodded his head in admiration.

“You have had the most remarkable trance states that I have ever witnessed. Still, there are aspects of this process that I find worrisome. In both the past and present hypnotic events, problems escalated around you until even the complications had complications.”

A loud groan erupted to Lenny's left. He sat up, and saw the ghost finder collapsed at the side of the stage.

“Karnowski cannot breathe,” the ghost finder rasped. “Karnowski needs rest.”

“We have our momentary casualties,” Phil acknowledged. “I believe both our ghost and our ghost finder will recover. But this situation leads to further concerns.

“Even though Lenny survives relatively unscathed, each of these trance events has veered ever closer toward chaos. Despite my earlier plans, I am afraid it would be too dangerous to attempt the final third of my original spell.”

“Then no ghost of Lenny yet to come?” Lenore asked.

Phil nodded. “The last spell might be beneficial, but it will have to wait. Besides, we have located the first day cover. And we have another method of obtaining it.”

He grinned at the others. “It's time for a full frontal assault, with a little help, swami style. Allow me to explain.” He waved to the stage. “First, the letter and Lenny are intertwined. Whatever we do, Lenny has to be a part of this.”

He turned to look at Lenny. “Are you up for this?”

Lenny nodded. Aside from a bit if dizziness when he first woke up, he felt fine.

“Then we will simply grab the letter and get out of Foo's secret hideout. The last third of your trance can wait until we're in a safer place.”

“Wait!” the Baron interrupted. “My pets have a message!”

Lenny and the others turned to see the roaches milling about on the nearest wall. They spelled new words, black letters swirling against the red.

FOO HAS REGAINED

CONTROL OF HIS SECURITY

BETTER GET MOVING!

Phil nodded. “No time for subtlety, then. We'll have to do the old swami smash and grab.”

“But what about Foo's minions?” Lenore asked. “Won't they try to stop us?”

“Not if they can't see us.” The swami studied his hands. “I think I can manage a contact invisibility spell with a minimum of fuss.”

Lenny decided someone had to ask the question. “A contact invisibility spell?'

“A spell where the primaries stay invisible, as long as they stay in physical contact,” the swami explained. “I will be at the center of the spell. We'll go in with one of you to either side of me.”

“Just two?” Lenore looked to the others in the room. “Lenny has to come. Who gets left behind?”

“Karnowski cannot stand!” the ghost hunter groaned from his fetal position on the floor.

“I'm on the mend! I can maintain my physical form for upwards of two—” The nameless ghost flickered out and then back into existence. “Well, maybe a minute and a half.”

“Both of them are better left behind.” The Baron dismissed Lenore's concerns with a flick of his cape. “And as for me, I need no invisibility spells. I am a vampire. I will arrive as a chilling evening mist.”

Phil nodded his approval. “Hopefully that will add to the confusion.”

He waved to the others. “Lenore! Lenny! To my sides. We must clasp hands. Then we must move swiftly.” Lenny took Phil's right hand while Lenore clasped his left. Phil said a few more words that made no particular sense. Lenny guessed it was the usual magic mumbo jumbo.

“I can see none of you!” the Baron called.

“We can see each other, but no one else can see us. Unless we are separated.” He let go of Lenny and Lenore's hands.

“And now I can see both!” the Baron agreed.

“Good,” the swami agreed. “We all know the parameters of the spell. Grab my hand again, and let's get that first day cover.”

Phil led the way, pulling the two others through the door. They rushed once more down the hallway Lenny had traveled in his trance. Another young man in a lab coat passed them without glancing their way. They turned the final corner that led to Foo.

“We're in luck,” Phil whispered. “The door is open.” He led the two others, more slowly than before, into Foo's inner chamber. More than a dozen men and women, some in lab coats, some in robes, were busily typing at workstations. A few were clustered at the far side of the room, studying flowcharts displayed on a large wall screen.

They crept silently through the crowd. So far, no one seemed to notice them at all.

They crept closer to Foo and his daughter. Beyond the two of them, Lenny knew, was the secret compartment that held the first day cover.

Sheila glared at her father. “Not another word about my outfit!” This time, her stylish pantsuit held three well-spaced holes, each strategically revealing a patch of skin beneath. “You wouldn't talk to me that way if Mother were still here.”

“I told you I never want to talk about your mother,” Foo snapped. “We don't have time for this argument. The security cameras are functioning again, and we've located our enemy.”

“Where?” Sheila asked.

“They're hiding in the comedy club.”

“We have a comedy club?”

“It was never finished,” Foo admitted. “I just don't find—well, that's not important. Bruno, I need you to take a detail of security personnel down the hall.”

The burly head of security stepped forward to meet with Foo. But before either of them could say anything, they were interrupted by a song.

“You're my lover! You're my lover!”

Lenny recognized the ringtone.

“Someone is calling you here?” Foo demanded. “Now?”

Sheila glanced at her phone. “It's more of an alarm, really. The swami installed an intruder app a couple weeks back. Something just set it off.”

“We have an intruder?” Bruno asked.

“You're my lover! You're my lover!” the phone agreed.

Sheila nodded. “We can't see anybody, but we are not alone.”

“They can sense us even though we're invisible?” Lenore whispered.

“I'm too thorough for my own good,” the swami whispered back.

“Bruno!” Foo shouted. “Call the entire security team in here. This room must be searched first.” He turned to look around the busy area. “Who could come in here without being seen? It has to be the swami.”

“Or Lenny,” Sheila added, frowning at the room in turn. “When something strange happens, it's always Lenny.”

“We know you're here,” Foo said in a loud voice. “Why not show yourself?”

“Lenny!” Phil whispered, in a tone just above the low hum of the surrounding computers. “Lead us toward the letter. We have to get out of here.”

“Is it you, swami?” Foo continued. “You left us so suddenly, we haven't had a chance to cancel your benefits package.”

“Lenny?” Sheila countered. “Is it you? Maybe I don't want to kill you right away. Maybe we really need to talk.” She hugged her arms close to her chest. “Is it getting a little clammy in here?”

“You wouldn't be cold if you wore clothes that covered more of your body!” her father chided.

Lenny saw the mist congeal around Sheila's ankles. She shuddered. The Baron had arrived.

Lenore, Lenny, and Phil inched closer to the console directly behind Foo and Sheila.

“You can come back to us, Swami!” Foo continued. “Your old job is waiting for you. No hard feelings. Once we've conquered the world, your piece of the profit sharing should be phenomenal.”

“It is tempting.” The swami hesitated. “But no,” he continued, still in a whisper. “I am on the frontiers of swami science.” He pointed to the console. “How do we get this thing open?”

“Simple. Foo threw three switches.” Lenny looked at the hundreds of switches on the console before him. Which were the right three?

“Lenny? Talk to me!” Sheila insisted. “This is your
last
last chance. I really mean it this time.”

“Swami, you left too soon,” Foo insisted. “Not only will we defeat our enemies, but we will achieve total synergistic integration throughout our entire organization!”

“Don't worry,” Phil whispered in Lenny's ear. “Even I don't know what that means.”

“Hey guys,” Lenore cut in with a whisper of her own. “Can't we get the first day cover and get out of here?”

“Lenny just has to throw the correct switches,” Phil replied.

Lenny wondered if he could trust in his gift to pick out the right combination. But what would happen if he got the sequence wrong?

“I've got the security detail!” Bruno called from the hallway door.

“Excellent!' Foo clapped his hands sharply. “Minions! Leave your stations. Line up in a row along the far wall. Security, you will fan out from the door and cover every inch of empty space between you and the minions. When you encounter something you can feel but cannot see—and I believe there are more then one of those invisible beings in the room—show it no mercy!”

Lenny swore silently. It was high time his gift did something.

Somebody screamed.

“Hey, Lenny! How's tricks?”

Lenny turned from the console. The pooka had materialized midair, in the very center of the room.

So Bob had arrived. But from where? Lenny thought about the last time he had seen the pooka, when Bob had gotten himself right into the middle of his second trance. Lenny's trance, he thought, until Bob showed up.

Bob kicked up his heels with an energetic whinny. “Wow! These swami spells can turn a pooka inside out. But I'm back!”

“It's a talking blue horse,” Sheila remarked. “Now I'm sure Lenny is in the room.”

“Yeah!” Bob agreed enthusiastically. “Lenny? I know you're here somewhere, too. Nobody can hide from a pooka!”

“Quick!” Foo shouted. “We don't have time for security. Grab the swami scope from the secret compartment. We'll trap them all!”

Foo leaned forward to flip the correct switches. The secret compartment opened once again. Lenny inched forward, careful not to brush against Sheila. The hidden compartment, and the first day cover, were almost within reach. If he could just lean forward a little . . .

Lenny yelped. Bob's blue snout was inches from his nose.

“There you are!” the pooka cheered. “A little tough to see, maybe. But not for your friend Bob!”

Lenny stumbled forward, losing his grip on Phil's hand. He fell awkwardly against the console.

“Lenny!” Sheila called by his side. “See, Daddy? I knew he was here.”

Lenny pushed himself away from the console. He had to ignore Sheila, ignore Bob, ignore everything except for the first day cover.

“And he's not alone!” Sheila crowed.

Lenore popped into sight on the other side of Sheila, only a few feet away. The invisible swami must still be somewhere in between.

“Dad!” Sheila pointed triumphantly at the Terrifitemps psychic. “Here's that melodramatic witch that Lenny's been hanging out with.”

“Melodramatic?” Lenore glanced down at her all-black costume before glaring back at Sheila. “At least I don't dress like a slut in some grade-Z spy movie!”

The two women grabbed at each other.

“Wait!” a commanding voice came from Sheila's side. “This has gone far enough!” The mist solidified to form the Baron.

Foo gasped. “You! I thought I'd never see you again.”

The Baron shrugged. “I've got a new job. Even vampires have to eat.”

Sheila paused in her girl fight to stare at the vampire. “You two know each other?”

Foo nodded, perhaps a bit reluctantly. “We made a deal, some time ago.”

The Baron smiled slightly, showing the tips of his fangs. “Last time our paths crossed, I was not so gainfully employed. You had a certain—problem—you had to deal with.” He glanced at Sheila. “And what a pretty daughter! Lucky for you, my dear, that you favor your mother.”

Sheila glared back at her father. “How would a vampire know anything about my mother?”

“I only did what I was paid to do.” The Baron sighed wistfully. “Before this happened, I never thought I could have enough vampire brides. Proves even the undead can be wrong now and then.”

“You had this vampire? Mother?” Sheila couldn't finish a sentence. She looked from her father to the Baron and back again. “You mean Mother really isn't in Miami?”

Foo offered his daughter a resigned smile. “Sheila. You, I can deal with. Your mother, not so much.”

Sheila had become the center of attention. Nobody in the room was looking at Lenny.

He grabbed the first day cover.

It was still in its protective jar, but just by putting his hand around the glass, Lenny felt a jolt of energy snake up his arm and shoulder.

“Wait!” His sudden movement had attracted Foo's attention. The evil genius pointed straight at Lenny. “Put that down now!”

“Oh boy!” Bob the horse called. “Now thing's are going to get really interesting!”