Tempting Meredith (23 page)

Once Charlie had prepared himself and Blaine, he surprised her by bracing himself over Blaine’s body and gently kissing him. Yes, they were making love, but she hadn’t expected such a loving gesture. Not from Charlie. As affectionate and tender as he was with her, she hadn’t expected to see that side of him with Blaine. She’d imagined something rougher, harder.

Charlie loved him. Had he hidden it before or had he simply not allowed himself the possibility? Blaine’s heart had been in his eyes from her first day at the ranch. Charlie’s was there now. It was the same look she saw when he made love to her. Her heart swelled.

Blaine clasped the back of Charlie’s head and ran his other hand up and down Charlie’s back. But it was their faces so close together that captivated her—Charlie’s beard against Blaine’s jaw, their eyelashes fluttering against each other’s skin, their firm masculine lips parted and sipping.

Charlie hooked his hand under Blaine’s knee and folded his thigh to his chest. Then, hovering above Blaine, Charlie locked his gaze on him. “If I screw up, stop me,” he murmured.

She scrambled to her knees and smoothed her fingers over the twin creases between his brows. Why was he so worried? Charlie was always so confident during sex. Did being with a man really change that? His uncharacteristic vulnerability touched her.

She kissed his shoulder. “Relax. You always know exactly what to do. Every. Single. Time.”

“She’s right,” Blaine said, his eyes never leaving Charlie.

“But this—” He didn’t finish the thought but kissed her, long and deep.

She reluctantly broke off the kiss and sat back on her heels. This wasn’t about her. It was about them, and she was in the way. She hadn’t meant to intrude. She’d just wanted to help.

Charlie pulled his hips back. Their cocks separated. Charlie paused then guided the crown between Blaine’s thighs and slowly disappeared inside. Charlie was concerned tension, from his lined forehead, to his thinned lips, to the bulging muscles of the arm bracing him, to the controlled drive of his hips and the flex of his feet. But with each inch fed, that tension evolved from worry to pleasure. His lips, those supple lips told the story. They relaxed, parted, curved.

When he was fully seated, he let out a long breath and asked in a strangled voice, “Good?”

“God, yes,” Blaine said, his expression full of all the wonder she was experiencing at watching these two men together. They were so beautiful. Charlie’s concern. Blaine’s devotion. Their passion. Their love for each other.

Charlie began the rhythm, tentatively at first, unsure. But with each stroke his confidence grew. Without breaking cadence, he grabbed her hand, placed it on Blaine’s lube-slick cock and curled her fingers tightly around it.

Blaine gasped. “Ah, fuck. Not fair.”

With her hand beneath Charlie’s, their fingers intertwined, they slipped up and down Blaine’s length, their rhythm matching the pulse of Charlie’s hips.

Blaine’s eyes closed, and he broke, his movements becoming jerky and uncoordinated. His warm seed erupted, coating his belly and chest and their hands.

Charlie gave one last hard, deep thrust, and she could see his orgasm in the ripple of his stomach muscles, the twitch of his hips and the release on his face. Still holding her hand, he slid it through Blaine’s come and collapsed on top of him, sandwiching her hand between their chests. She toppled onto her side and stretched out against them.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Meredith dumped her luggage, texted Charlie and Blaine that she was home, checked on Huggins and went straight to work because her house was unbearably empty. She dragged two of her Ph.D students to the office to discuss their theses. Next she walked across the hall to Rae’s office but it was empty, so she returned to her desk and tried to find a bug in the radiation transport code she was fine-tuning. She wasn’t making much progress, because her mind kept wandering. A knock on her open door saved her.

“Can you talk?” Rae asked.

“Of course,” Meredith said, grateful for the interruption. She grabbed the mouse and closed the program. “I’m not making any progress with this code.”

“I wanted to congratulate you on another exceptional camp.”

“Thanks,” Meredith said. “But I couldn’t do it without you. Your contacts and support are invaluable.”

Rae smiled. “And I see you took some time off. That’s twice in a month. I’m glad you’re taking my advice to heart.”

“You were right. I’ve enjoyed it.” That was the truth.

Meredith’s cell phone rang, and her heart leaped. It might be Charlie and Blaine. They’d said they’d call this evening, so it was probably too early. But she could hope.

Rae stood. “I’ll let you answer that. I just wanted to congratulate you on the camp.”

“Thanks again,” Meredith said. She waited until Rae had closed the door on her way out before checking the cell display. Nikki.

She tried not to let the disappointment seep into her voice when she answered. “How’s my favorite sister?”

“Missing you. I thought I’d hear from you after camp was done.”

Meredith guiltily tried to remember the last time they’d talked, and finally came up with the Memorial Day party. Almost a month ago. Had it really been that long? “I’m sorry. I’ve been playing catch-up.” That sounded so lame. Her sister was a month away from giving birth, and Meredith wasn’t paying attention. She was the world’s worst sister.

“Uh-huh. So another month and we get to meet Mr. Catch-Up?”

“What?”

“You said we could meet him if he lasted three months.”

Fuck. She’d totally forgotten about that. And what about Blaine? Would he feel left out? Should she include him? Or would he want to keep his involvement on the down low? And that was assuming they were both still around in a month. She had a sneaking suspicion they would be. “Give or take,” she said. “We’ll have to work around Jake Junior’s arrival. Which reminds me. Please tell me you’ve come up with a name for my nephew.”

“No, and don’t change the subject.”

“Puh-lease. My nephew’s name is a lot more interesting than my love life.”

“Oh, no. I want to meet the man who’s managed to distract you from my life. I don’t care if you have to bring him to labor and delivery.”

Knowing Charlie, he’d take it all in stride. He’d probably read their feet to pass the time. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“How about shopping and lunch Saturday?”

Her guilt grew exponentially. She’d told Charlie and Blaine she’d go back to the ranch for the weekend. She should cancel and spend time with her sister instead. But that would be rude, not to mention the fact that she didn’t want to cancel, which only fed her guilt a big bowl of ice cream with hot fudge and whipped cream. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Sunday?” Nikki pressed.

“That won’t work either. How about the next weekend?”

“I’ve got a better idea. Let’s meet for dinner tonight. You and me. Julio’s.”

“How about takeout? I could pick it up and bring it to the house,” she said, remembering that Nikki couldn’t eat unless she stretched out.

“No. I’ll meet you there. I don’t want Jake hovering. He’s driving me crazy.”

“Okay, but I’ll pick you up.” She almost added,
so you don’t have to drive
. “It’ll give us more time to talk.”

“Great! It’ll be good to see you.” Nikki sounded so happy that Meredith vowed to make an effort not to let her new social life interfere with family time.

As soon as she hung up with Nikki, she debated calling Jake. He had season tickets behind home plate to the Rangers games but because of Nikki’s pregnancy hadn’t used them at all this year. He’d doled them out to clients, employees, friends. If Charlie and Blaine could get away from work, they’d love attending. But if she asked Jake for the tickets, he’d tell Nikki, and her sister would want to know who she was going with. Which would mean more questions about Charlie, more pressure to meet the family. Amazingly, she didn’t mind that so much. Not anymore. But what about Blaine?

What the hell. If he came up, she would explain that he was Charlie’s boss, his friend. It was the truth. She could deal with a few questions. It would be worth it to surprise them with the tickets. They’d be tickled pink.

Jake picked up on the first ring. “What’s wrong?”

“Is that how you say hello?”

“Only when I’m waiting for my wife to give birth,” he said.

“I just finished talking to your wife and she’s fine.”

“Thanks. I appreciate the update.” He really did sound relieved.

“Any chance I could use your Rangers tickets on Monday?”

“Sure. You want me to bring ’em by on my way home?”

“Nikki and I are going out tonight. I’ll pick them up then.”

Jake sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t keep her out late, okay?”

“Hey, we’re almost there,” she said gently. “Just one more month.”

“Give or take a couple of weeks.”

“Are you still going to her doctor appointments?”

“Yeah.”

“Everything’s okay?”

“So they say.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine.” She snapped her mouth shut. Where the hell had that come from? Had Nikki been right? Was there a glimmer of hope peeping through her perpetual pessimism?

After she hung up, Meredith tried to focus on work. She wasn’t any more successful than before the interruptions. But this time it wasn’t Charlie and Blaine distracting her. It was the internet icon at the bottom of her screen. What would it hurt to check out flights to Boston? She didn’t have to make a reservation.

It would be a waste of time, though. Cassandra and her dads would be in Texas in two months. If she wanted to see her daughter, a couple more months wouldn’t make a difference. Not after eight years.

The bug in the code still eluding her, she slid the mouse across the pad until the cursor hovered over the browser icon. She might as well goof off for a few minutes. Maybe a break would help her refocus. She clicked on the icon and typed in the search. More than a hundred flights to Boston filled the page. One was even nonstop. She clicked on the nonstop flight then checked return flights. It wouldn’t hurt to know what was available. Just in case.

She got as far as the passenger information page. Her fingers twitched over the keyboard before she grabbed the mouse and shut down the window. She couldn’t make reservations without talking to Chris and Larry first. Besides, she reminded herself, they were moving to Houston. They were busy. She could wait until August. Give her more time to think about it. She took a deep breath. Give her more time to talk herself out of it. Again. But this time, she wasn’t so sure of the outcome of that oft-repeated conversation because a bubble of nervous anticipation buoyed her heart, probably due to that glimmer of hope. This time she might actually go through with it.

* * *

She didn’t check her phone during dinner, but as soon as she dropped Nikki at home, she dug her cell out of her purse. She was relieved to see she hadn’t missed their call. It was almost ten when she opened her front door. She kicked off her pumps, fed Huggins, cleaned the litter pan, then jogged upstairs, cell in hand, to change into pajamas.

She sat cross-legged on her bed. She couldn’t wait any longer, not only to tell them about the Rangers tickets, but also to hear their voices. She called Charlie’s cell and after four rings it went to voice mail, which was odd. He couldn’t always answer his phone during the day because he was busy with guests. But by this time of night, he was usually done. Maybe he was in the shower. She tried Blaine’s cell, but it went straight to voice mail too. She left a quick message.

With nothing to do but wait, she stared at the drawer. Her fingers itched to slide it open, to dump the reminders on her bed. She crawled under the blanket and curled up on her side.

She took a deep breath and blew it out. Then another.
It’s not like last time.
They aren’t Dylan.

But a bit of pessimism broke through. She never would’ve guessed that Dylan would dump her so unceremoniously. What if she was wrong about Charlie and Blaine, too?

They’re busy.
They’ll call tomorrow.
It’s too late tonight.
Tomorrow’s soon enough.
I
saw them just this morning.
And if I don’t talk to them tomorrow
,
I’ll see them the next day.
We’ve already made plans.
They wouldn’t have made plans with me if they were going to dump me.
I’m being too needy.

She hated needy women. She clenched the bed sheets in her fists, determined to keep her heart from shattering. If it did break, she’d hold the pieces tightly. That would make it easier to put them back together.

She didn’t sleep well, but her perspective had changed with the dawn. A sense of purpose had crept over her that had nothing to do with Charlie and Blaine. Ignoring her phone, she walked determinedly to the drawer, grasped it with both hands and yanked it all the way out. She placed it on the bed and lifted the photo lying on top. A petite girl with curly blond hair and a shy smile in denim shorts and a purple T-shirt. Her eyes were rolled up as she tried to see the blue butterfly perched in her hair like a bow.

Meredith had chosen open adoption, believing it would be best for her daughter. She still believed that. But she’d failed her daughter. Her own insecurities had kept her from making it the best. Time and again, Cassandra’s fathers and Cassandra herself had reached out to her. Each time, she’d rejected them, convinced that Cassandra was better off without her.

How could her daughter possibly be better off dealing with that abandonment, that rejection, day after day, year after year? Waiting for a phone call that never came, a mother she never saw. She was only a child. A child who wanted to know the woman who’d given birth to her. Such a simple request.

Meredith wrapped her arms around her empty womb and doubled over in pain. Tears burned her eyes, and she tasted the salt before she realized they’d escaped and were spilling down her face.

She was such a fool. Didn’t matter that she had three degrees and an IQ that was the envy of Mensa. She’d fucked up big time.

She could fix this. It wasn’t something she could remedy overnight. She wasn’t stupid enough to believe that. It would take time. She wouldn’t wait until her daughter moved to Texas. She lifted her head, took a few deep breaths, then grabbed a handful of tissues from her nightstand and wiped her face.

She’d start repairing the damage, now.

As she got ready for work, she planned. When she picked up her cell to tuck it into her purse, she saw the missed calls. From Blaine. She’d slept better than she’d thought, she realized while she connected to her voice mail.

“Meredith, it’s Blaine. Call me.” Her heart lightened. Not only had he called, but he’d also left a message.

She played the second message. “Meredith, you really need to call me.” Her delight lessened just a bit at the urgency in his voice.

Then the third voice mail. “Meredith, where the hell are you at two-fucking-oh-five in the morning. Call me.”

She stared at her cell and snorted. What did he expect? She’d been asleep at two-fucking-oh-five—which was what he should’ve been doing. But worry trumped her facetiousness. Something was wrong. He’d left three messages in the space of an hour and a half when he should have been in bed. What could it be? A fire at the lodge? An accident? Her heart seized. A gun accident? Had Charlie been shot? Hurt?

As she returned Blaine’s call, she tried to convince herself that he just missed her, just wanted to talk. Everything was fine. It was nice that he’d called, that he wanted to talk. It was great.

“Where have you been?” he answered brusquely.

“Sleeping,” she said. “And you?” She held her breath, waiting for his answer, hoping her imagination was overreacting.

“At the fucking hospital.”