Terms of Surrender (15 page)

“Fall in love with you…” she whispered, shaking her head slowly. Then, blinking a few times, as if to clear her mind, she said, “No. I’m sorry, Danny. It’s just not going to happen. I might desire you, but I don’t want to sleep with you again.”

SHE SO TOTALLY WANTED to sleep with that man again.

Mari had absolutely no doubt about it. Every fiber of her being demanded that right—that privilege. One night out of a lifetime was just not enough to spend in the arms of a man like Danny. It would be against the laws of nature for her not to want to spend another night in his arms. And unless she remained very strong, she probably would.

It had taken her all but ten minutes to figure that out. She’d made her confident claim, swept past him into the classroom, started delivering her talk—about sex—and promptly forgotten every little reason she’d had for turning him down.

Because he was impossible to resist. Even sitting quietly in the corner of the room, out of her line of vision, she was intensely aware of his presence. She felt the heat of his stare on her, heard the occasional deep, masculine chuckle, could swear she could feel the warmth of his breaths if she stepped within a few feet of him.

Oh, hell, yes, she probably
was
going to sleep with him again.

And she’d been insane to pretend she wouldn’t.

But she’d only sleep with him. Only have an affair with him. She’d only take him as a lover…not as her love.

Because loving him was the one thing she just couldn’t allow. Loving Danny Wilkes just didn’t fit in with her plans for the rest of her life.

All those thoughts raced through her mind while she delivered her prepared remarks. Fortunately, she had a hard copy of her entire speech and was able to read most of it, because heaven knew, if she’d gotten off track, she might never have found her way back. She’d always been a multitasker, and was able to sail through to the end without revealing the lustful thoughts filling her mind.

Or so she thought.

Now, though, she had to wonder. Because when she finished and saw the rather blank looks on the faces of the students, she wondered if she’d screwed up somehow.

“Uh, are there any questions?” she asked.

Silence.

The young men looked at each other. From behind her, she heard Danny clear his throat. She glanced in his direction, and realized he was staring at her with something that looked a little like shock on his face.

Oh, hell. What had she said? What in the name of
heaven
had she said?

“Uh, yeah, I have a question,” said a young man standing near the back of the room. He waved his hand to get her attention, smiling brightly when their eyes met. “Did you seriously just tell all of us that while we should always have safe sex, and be prepared, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with an occasional booty call?”

Had she said that? She hadn’t said that. No. Definitely not.
Please, God, let me not have said that.

“Uh, can I answer that, Dr. Marshall?” Danny asked, rising from his seat and approaching the lectern.

“Oh, please,” she whispered, thinking frantically, grabbing for her notes and wondering what on earth she’d done. Had she written buddy and said booty? Had she meant to talk about Tail
hook
and mentioned hooking up?

“I think what Dr. Marshall was
trying
to say,” Danny explained to the wide-eyed, titillated-looking students, “is that while everybody can get carried away and have sexual affairs you might not have intended to have, you can never forget to protect yourself.”

Sure. Right. That’s what she’d meant. The one kid had just misunderstood.

“That’s not what she said,” another boy called.

“Shit,” she whispered under her breath.

Danny cast her a quick glance, and she’d swear merriment danced in those bewitching eyes of his. Then he turned his focus on the boys, all of whom looked a whole lot more interested in her topic of discussion now than they had when she’d first started speaking.

The first student—who looked about eighteen, with a smug face and big, knowing smirk—spoke again. “She said sometimes you just gotta do it—have sex, even if you know it’s never gonna go anywhere else. Which, dude, don’t get me wrong, sounds totally all right with me. But it’s not exactly what I expected to hear from a teacher
here.
”

Danny shrugged. “You’re human. You’re male. The drive is natural. You almost certainly like sex—or you will like it, someday.”

Right. Like any of these sailor-boys hadn’t been getting ass thrown at them left right and center since they’d first flashed around their acceptance letters to the academy.

“So she’s saying we should just go for it, if it’s offered? Get it from anybody who’ll give it up?”

“No!” Marissa yelped, hurrying back over to the podium, her heels clicking like little popgun shots on the tile floor. “That’s definitely not what I was saying.” She gave Danny a pleading expression, begging him to back her up. “I’m saying…you’re human. You have urges. It’s understandable. But you don’t want to get hurt, or hurt someone else.”

“Save it for health class,” someone muttered, to a smattering of laughter.

“I’m not just talking about STDs,” she insisted, finding her footing now, as she felt strongly about this lesson. These kids needed to understand. “I know you’re all going to be big tough sailors or SEALs, or…pilots.”

“Naval Aviators!” one of the young men clarified.

She glanced at Danny. “Aviators. Sorry. But you still have hearts, which means you can still get them broken.”

“By some cheap tramp?”

She cast a hard stare at the student who’d said that. “Maybe not
you
—I doubt you’re going to be falling in love anytime soon, because with that attitude, no girl will ever take you seriously enough to let you get close.”

The comment was greeted by snickers from the boy’s classmates. He flushed a little, then mumbled an apology under his breath. That could have been because he felt bad about it, because she’d embarrassed him…or because Danny had taken one small-but-threatening step in his direction. Mari had seen him, out of the corner of her eye.

So maybe it was a good thing that he was here. At the very least it was making her audience listen.

“The thing is, it’s not just a disease you risk when you have meaningless sex with someone. You also risk getting your heart broken.”

Danny cleared his throat and murmured, “But aren’t some risks worth taking?”

“If you know it’s going to end badly, why even start?”

“Because you can’t
know
anything of the kind,” he replied.

She frowned, refusing to glance at him. “Meaning you’ve got to be sensible about it. You can’t always just do what you
want
to do
when
you want to do it.”

“So how about doing it later?” he quipped, drawing laughter from the students.

She didn’t think they caught the suggestive undertone of the remark, but she certainly did. “Okay, how about doing it later?” she replied, lifting a brow. “Is there ever a good time for heartache?”

“Is there ever a good time to give up on something that could be spectacular just because the timing’s not right?” he countered.

Spectacular. Wow. It had been. And oh, did she like that he thought so, too.

He wasn’t finished. “How can you just
decide
you don’t have a chance of winning? It’s like you’re never even picking up the bat to take a swing. That’s pretty cowardly.”

And to think she’d recently decided she was going to sleep with him again. Right now, she wanted to tape his mouth shut.

Or fill it with something. Hmm…

“Discretion is the better part of valor,” she quoted.

“Winners never quit.”

“Those who fight and run away…”

“Will get their asses chased to the ends of the earth by the U.S. Navy!”

Every boy in the room laughed and whooped at that one.

“I mean,” she said, once they’d quieted again, “sometimes it’s better to not take a chance.”

“Sorry. Playing it safe—never taking risks—is definitely not something we teach around here.”

“We’re not talking about warfare.”

He grinned at the other males in the room. “Hey, all’s fair in love and war, right?”

They again laughed with him. He had a rapport with the boys—they obviously liked him, respected him.

But he was not helping here. Probably because he was talking about them—their personal relationship—while she was talking about…

Them.
Their personal relationship.

Damn it, she’d been doing the same thing. Pretending to be imparting some kind of lesson when, in reality, she’d been sending him a message about why she’d turned him down, why she shouldn’t change her mind.

Of course, considering she’d
already
pretty well changed her mind, she had to wonder why she bothered making the effort.

“I suppose you could go into that kind of relationship with your guard up, expecting nothing, not allowing yourself to feel anything.” Seeing the way his brow drew lower over his eyes, she added, “Don’t you go into battle that way?”

“We go in expecting to triumph,” he told her. “Thoughts of defeat don’t ever enter our minds.”

“Lucky you.”

“I promise you, it’s really not that hard,” he murmured.

She tore her gaze off his face, which had suddenly softened with tenderness, as if he wanted to tell her she was wrong, that she should expect they could make it. They could win in this crazy romantic-sexual game they’d been playing since the moment they’d met.

But she just didn’t buy it. Not in the long run.

Addressing the boys, she added, “But it doesn’t work that way. Not for everybody. So is that really wise? Is it worth doing it if you’re not going into it with your whole heart?”

A student whooped. “Hells yeah, it’s worth it! Long as I’m going into it with my whole…”

“Watch it!” Danny snapped, frowning and pointing an index finger at the kid.

The boy, obviously used to bragging around his pals, bit his lip and stared at Marissa. “Sorry, ma’am.”

“It’s all right,” she replied. “And on that note, I think we’re out of time.”

A few groans said the students weren’t necessarily ready to end this conversation. But Marissa was. Most definitely.

Smiling at the boys who stopped by to thank her, she quickly turned her attention back to her notes. Next time, she was going to have to print them in a huge font, and study them intently before she walked through the door of the classroom.

Not getting the taste kissed out of her mouth by Danny Wilkes right before a lecture would probably be a good idea, too.

“So, got anything you want to talk about?” he asked once they were alone in the room.

“Nope.”

“Those certainly were some interesting remarks.”

“I didn’t actually say…”

“Yeah, you did.”

“Hell.”

“If it’s any consolation, I think it made the boys like you more. You have street cred—they think you’re real.”

“A real blithering idiot,” she mumbled.

“You didn’t blither at all. Huh. Blither, is that a real word?”

“I have no idea. And thanks.”

“Hey, I’m serious. You might not have been reading off your notes, but everything you said makes sense.”

He stepped closer, filling all the airspace around her. She should tell him not to invade her personal bubble like that—she couldn’t think when he did. But somehow, she couldn’t manage it.