Tessa Ever After (32 page)

“How about
I’m going to kick his ass
? Can you hear that?”

I laugh, and think for half a second about actually letting him, because he totally would. “I love you for wanting to protect me, but I’m a big girl, Cade. This is as much on me as it is on him.”

He sits back in the chair, his eyes wide. “How the hell do you figure that?”

I shrug, running my finger along the rim of the glass. “I went in with both eyes open, knowing exactly what I was getting into with him, and jumped anyway. Jason was never the idiot in this scenario. That title belongs solely to me.”

He clenches his hands against the island. “I’m going to kill him.”

Smiling, I put my hand on his arm to keep him seated next to me. “No you’re not. You’re going to sit here and tell me about your fancy, glamorous life in Chicago to keep my mind off it.”

He must see something in my eyes because he relaxes back in his chair and takes a swig of his beer. “It’s . . . God, Tess, I can’t even tell you how fucking amazing it is. John has me running the kitchen on Oscar’s nights off, and I feel like I’m in heaven. Talks are getting more serious about opening another three restaurants. Tentative plans are for Minneapolis, Denver, and . . . here.”

I gasp, my fingers tightening on his arm. “Here? Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

“Holy shit, Cade.”

“I know.”

“Does this mean you might be coming back?” I hold my breath, waiting for the answer. And I realize with a start that me wanting him back has nothing to do with lifting the burden he once helped me shoulder. Sometime over the last month, Haley and I really hit our stride, nights going a little smoother, days a little less frantic. It’s not perfect—I’m never going to be perfect, and I’m finally okay with that—but it’s manageable. And we make a pretty damn good team, just the two of us. No, my excitement is strictly because I’ve missed having my brother around. And my daughter has missed her uncle.

“I’m not sure. John knows how much I want to be back here, so if I’m ready for it, I can’t imagine he’d give it to anyone else. I just have to bust my ass to show him I can handle it.”

“That’s amazing. Are you glad you did this now?”

“Hell, yeah. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but I can’t ever regret it, even if I have to be away from you guys.”

“We’re doing okay.”

He gives me a look, the one that says he thinks I’m full of shit.

“We’re doing okay, the Jason situation notwithstanding.”

“Does this mean you’re back to the online douche bags? Gonna call up that dentist again?”

I roll my eyes and take another sip of wine. “He was an orthodontist, and no.” I shrug and lean back in my chair. “I’m fine with it being just me and Haley for now. I was so set on finding
something I thought I wanted to get my happily ever after, and it blew up in my face. I’m not going to push anything anymore—I did it first with a guy I felt nothing for and then with a guy I knew better than to get involved with.” What I don’t say, though, is that I still yearn for that—for a connection like I had with Jason, but with a guy there for the long haul, ready to stick it out with me. I know I’m young, but my life doesn’t lend itself to quick hookups and shallow relationships.

And my heart never lent itself to that.

jason

I shove pizza boxes and beer bottles out of the way, looking for my ringing phone. I don’t even know what day it is. Monday, Tuesday? Christmas or New Year’s? Without class to fill my schedule and my parents, for once, leaving me the hell alone, I’ve been able to just . . . be. I’ve been able to play
Halo
for five hours at a time, order in pizza and Chinese, and drink beer at noon if I want. No one to talk to, no one to answer to, no one to consider but myself.

It’s been just fucking peachy.

I find my phone just as the ringing cuts off, but it starts right back up again, Adam’s name lighting up the screen. Falling back to the couch, I answer, “Yeah.”

“Jesus Christ, Jase, what the hell did you do?”

“Gonna have to narrow it down, man,” I say, even though I know exactly why he’s calling. And it looks like my time’s up with my other best friend, because if Adam got wind of it, Cade’s not far behind.

“I thought she wasn’t just a piece of ass for you.”

A hundred retorts come to me, sitting on the tip of my tongue, but really what can I say? She
wasn’t
just a piece of ass to me, and that’s the exact reason I’m not with her right now. Because she meant—
means
—so much more.

When I don’t respond, he says, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I had to find out from Cade—who’s on his way to kick your ass, by the way. If my plane got in tonight instead of tomorrow, I would, too.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve kicked my own ass, so your services aren’t needed.”

“Seriously, man, what the fuck?”

I blow out a deep breath and close my eyes, dropping my head to the back of the couch. “It just didn’t work out.”

He snorts on the other end of the line. “Yeah, not buying it. And Cade’s not gonna buy that bullshit, either.”

“I’ll worry about that when he gets here. How’d he sound?”

“Like he’s ready to rip your balls off and feed them to you. And I couldn’t even give you a buffer because I knew jack about it.”

I grunt in acknowledgment, knowing I don’t deserve a buffer. Whatever Cade sends my way, I have it coming, tenfold.

“Assuming you’re still walking tomorrow, let’s grab a beer. I’ll be there till the twenty-eighth,” he says.

“Yeah, sounds good.” There’s a pounding at my front door loud enough to wake everyone within a three-block vicinity, and I mumble, “Fuck.”

“Time’s up, huh? Good luck with the beast.” And then the line’s dead.

I groan, rubbing a hand over my face and dropping my phone
to the couch next to me. I am not nearly drunk enough to have this conversation with Cade.

With a sigh of resignation, I heave myself off the couch and walk to the door, opening it to my red-faced best friend. “Cade, what a pleasant surprise,” I say dryly.

He breezes past me, giving me a sharp look as he continues down the hallway and around the corner. When I get to the living room, I find him standing with his arms crossed, looking at the piles of takeout and garbage lying around. “What the hell is all this?”

“Lunch. And dinner. And probably breakfast. Hungry?” I ask as I fall back to the couch, grabbing the game controller from next to me as I prop my feet up on the coffee table.

Cade stalks over and kicks my feet down, towering over me with a glare on his face. “Tessa’s been tight-lipped about whatever went down, and I’m taking it from her. I’m
not
going to take it from you.”

“Don’t have much of a choice, seeing as I’m not telling you shit.” I try to ignore him and go back to playing my game, knowing I’m being an epic asshole, especially considering this is the first time I’ve seen him in six months, but I can’t even bring myself to care.

“Jesus Christ, Jase, what the fuck’s going on? I thought I’d come over here and find you with two girls in your bed and really have to kick your ass. Instead, I find you looking like you haven’t showered in a week.”

“Yeah, well . . .” I say with a shrug, avoiding his eyes.

“I don’t get it. If you didn’t break it off to get with another girl, what’s the deal? I know Tessa didn’t end it, because she’s not doing much better than you are.”

The mention of her name is like a punch to the neck, and I’m left struggling for air. “Tessa’s doing a hell of a lot better now,” I mumble.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

Blowing out a breath, I lean forward and brace my elbows on my knees. “Look, you were right, okay? She’s better off without me. And she’s sure as hell better without all the family bullshit that’s always going to follow me.”

He stares at me for a minute, then shakes his head. “If you actually believe that, you’re even more of an idiot than I originally thought. Shit, man, did you even listen to yourself?”

“I’ve done nothing
but
listen to myself for the last week. That’s why I’m still sitting here and not at her door. It’s for the best.”

“Yeah? The best for
who
, exactly? Because from where I’m sitting, you’re both miserable.”

“She’ll be a hell of a lot more miserable if she gets dragged into the bullshit I have to deal with every day from my family.”

“You know what? I’m so sick of hearing about your goddamn family. You don’t want them to run your life?
Don’t let them
. Cut the fucking cord already and grow up.”

“You think it’s just that easy? There’s no compromise with them—it’s all or nothing.”

“So you’d rather have it be all with them and nothing with Tessa instead of the other way around? And what about Haley? She keeps asking about you every five fucking minutes.”

At the mention of Haley, I snap my head to him and take every ounce of frustration he’s pouring my way.

He nods. “Yep. Four times just since Winter and I got here.”

“Shit.” I scrub a hand over my face. “Hey, can you . . . I mean, I got her a Christmas gift. Can you give it to her?”

“You want her to have it? Stop being a pussy and give it to her yourself.” He steps a little closer and towers over me. “What are you going to do when Tessa puts up that fucking online profile again? When she goes out with another orthodontist or a lawyer or some other boring-as-hell guy because she thinks that’s what she needs?”

And just like always, the thought shoots ice through my veins. It’s the same thing that’s been on repeat in my mind since I let Tessa walk away—someone filling the place I didn’t have long enough. Someone watching sappy chick movies with Tessa or playing in the snow with Haley. Going on Saturday-morning donut runs before spending the day in bed watching cartoons.

And I hate it. I hate every fucking second of it, but I don’t want them to be a pawn for whatever game my parents are playing at that particular point in time.

“It’s not that easy, Cade.”

“Make it that easy. Whatever happened . . . whatever made you end this thing with Tess, it’s not unfixable.” He turns and walks away, saying over his shoulder, “Pull your head out of your ass and man the fuck up.”

THIRTY-ONE

tessa

“All right, bitches, let’s get this party started,” Paige says as she walks into my bedroom, where Winter sits on my bed, waiting as I try to find something to wear.

“Can’t we just stay home?” I ask, turning around to look at her.

“What are you, eighty?” Paige pushes me out of the way while she riffles through my clothes. “We are going to go party. We are going to live it up. We,” she says as she spins toward me, pointing her finger in my direction, “are going to
get you drunk
.” She turns back around and grabs a few things from my closet before shoving them at me. “Wear that. Your hair looks fabulous, as always. But I need to do something with your makeup situation, because this haggard look you’ve got going on is not working.”

I heave a sigh and toss Winter a pleading glance. She holds up her hands and shakes her head. “Don’t look at me. She’s
your
best friend. This is why I’ve stayed away from friends most of my life.”

“Well, you’re stuck with us now,” Paige says as she plops down on the bed while I change into the clothes she pulled out for me. Low-rise jeans and a fitted, open-back long-sleeved shirt. Demure from the front, sexy hellcat from the back. Not exactly the look I’m going for. An oversize sweatshirt and ratty leggings would be a more accurate reflection of my mood.

In truth, though, I could use this night out with them, especially since Cade and Winter leave to go back home tomorrow. The last couple weeks, even with all the excitement of Christmas having come and gone, have been rough. I thought with everything going on that I’d get a reprieve from the constant barrage of Jason-related thoughts. So far, the only time I get a moment’s peace is when Haley is there distracting me, and even that’s a slippery slope, because she hasn’t stopped asking about him.