Read Texts from Bennett Online
Authors: Mac Lethal
ME:
Uhh. #1. BE DA HOMIE B4 ANYTHING ELSE
BENNETT:
1. B da homie b4 anythin else..
BENNETT:
Dis meanz dat no matta wat
BENNETT:
alweys B a bitch best friend
BENNETT:
if u talken 2 a girl an she thinks dat u want 2 fucc her
BENNETT:
even if u do
BENNETT:
she wont wanna git wit u
BENNETT:
if u go at her like u wanna fucc her she will think dats da onley thing u want. u cant even act like Ur atractid 2 her for real
BENNETT:
but if Ur just her friend..if U dont talk about daten her and aint afraid 2 opanly talk about fuccin otha chix in front of her she will think u dont want her dat much
BENNETT:
and will like u.U gaDDA make her feel like u balong 2 her.!
BENNETT:
if she hears abt all da hot girls U git wit she will think ur a gud catch cuz otha bitches want u
BENNETT:
she will wanna hang wit u all da time cuz ur so funny and cool but mostley 2 keep u frum gittin wit N E otha bitchez
BENNETT:
den u can try to git wit her
ME:
What if you try to get with her and she rejects you? Won’t she know you were faking the friendship?
BENNETT:
na
BENNETT:
first of all.. dont fake da friendship.. neva be a fake ass nigga. im sayen ReaLLy b friends wit her.. jus keep ur dazire 2 fucc her secrete
BENNETT:
secind of all . . . if u try 2 git wit her and she says no jus be like
BENNETT:
its ok..are friendship cums first i just luv bein around U
BENNETT:
i luv it so much dat i worry if i meet anotha girl i cant see U as much
BENNETT:
but ok no problam lets jus be friends
BENNETT:
no matta wat she says . . . . . . i jus wanna be friends,,, i dont like u like dat,,, ur not my type
BENNETT:
dont take it 2 ur head.she just talken shit..it jus means u havent made her like u enuff 2 get rommantic but dats OK it will happan
BENNETT:
IF u dont act like a bitch dat iz
BENNETT:
dont EVA b like i dont wanna b jus friendz i luv u i wanna buy u 200 roses dippt in choclit an shit
BENNETT:
u gadda be supa coo wit it . . . u gadda proove dat ur da type of nigga she can fall in luv wit
BENNETT:
B a real friend 2 her..and all her friends 2 for mo options =)
ME:
Wow. That’s . . . actually kinda smart.
ME:
Because you can disarm her that way.
BENNETT:
i wudnt disarm her she wudnt be able to giv u a hand job with no arms LoL
BENNETT:
da coo thing is.sumtimes bein da homie is da only thing U need to do
BENNETT:
if Ur jus nice and friendley 2 a girl but dont focas on sex. . . . .sumtimes she will B ready 2 fucc da same day
BENNETT:
sumtimes da day u meet.sumtimes 4 or 5 bizniss dayz..if she a asain bitch it take up to 3 wks da point iz..bitches LUV a nigga who claims 2 be her homie..
BENNETT:
dont hit on a bitch
BENNETT:
dont tell a bitch u wanna go on a date
BENNETT:
jus be her buddy
BENNETT:
O also U can have like 8 diff chix at 1 time an use dem 2 make eachotha jellis.
BENNETT:
U cant get drunk wit out a 40
BENNETT:
U cant get free grosheriez wit out a WIC card
BENNETT:
U cant git a bitch wit out bein her friend
ME:
Okay. Got it. I’m actually glad you’re texting me this stuff, because I can save it all and read it a few times.
BENNETT:
well since u asked i will tell u also
BENNETT:
numba 1 is so importint
BENNETT:
dat numba 11 says to start ova at numba 1 if shit git fuccd up.we will talk abt dat soon
ME:
DIS AIN’T A JOB INTERVIEW
BENNETT:
aint dat numba 3
ME:
Nope. #2.
BENNETT:
k Dis aint a job inteview is a imporint 1
ME:
I don’t get it.
BENNETT:
ya cuz i didnt xplain it yet silly nigga
BENNETT:
ok dis is when U first gittin to kno a chicc when u talken 2 her
BENNETT:
Do not ask her fuccin questins dat makes her borred
BENNETT:
da most borring fuccin ppl in da world are bosses given u job interviewz
BENNETT:
maccin on a girl isnt saposed 2 be Boring it saposed to be excsiting , da girl shud think U r da coolist nigga she ever met..
BENNETT:
she shud think ur cooler den Harrie potter dats fer sure
BENNETT:
wats da next 1 ?
ME:
Wait. Hang on. You didn’t explain that one enough.
BENNETT:
wat
ME:
I mean I think I get it. But in your much less experienced life than mine, what have you found bores girls?
ME:
What questions work and what don’t work?
BENNETT:
man dont ask NO questins if u dont haff to
ME:
Really?
BENNETT:
ya 4 real
ME:
Not even her name?
BENNETT:
nah . . . . . . if u wanna git her name tell her UR name
BENNETT:
be like waddup im mac
BENNETT:
she will giv u her name
BENNETT:
sumtimes u can ask her questins 2 keep da convarsatin gng but dont be sittin their quizin da girl
BENNETT:
u shud b abel 2 hav a connvarsation wit out evar asking a questin
BENNETT:
tell her shit dont ask her shit
BENNETT:
wat kinda muzic do u like
BENNETT:
wat skool do u go 2
BENNETT:
do u like kittins
BENNETT:
hav u evar benn 2 canadia
BENNETT:
dont ask none of dat shit TELL her dat shit
ME:
Dude people have been getting to know each other by asking questions for millions of years.
BENNETT:
i no and dats why dis is imporint Bcuz she will notice dat u dont act like all da niggaz dat have hit on her for milianz of years
ME:
What the fuck do I say then? “Hi, I’m Mac, I like hip-hop music, I don’t go to school because I’m 30, I hate kittens, I’ve been to Canada, and my favorite TV show is
Louie
.”
BENNETT:
Yeah! dats pretty gud !
BENNETT:
datz funny i mite try dat LoL haha
BENNETT:
try dat i bet it work betta den if u askd all dem questins you ask haha
ME:
Shut up. You have no idea what you’re talking about.
BENNETT:
no nigga really think abt it
BENNETT:
ill giv u a few ideaz 2 say but thinK abt it
BENNETT:
Brb i gadda take a shit
BENNETT:
Wooo better . . . U thar?
ME:
Yeah, and I’ve thought about it and can’t believe how well that would actually work.
BENNETT:
ya it isnt like a picc up line.. it just helps u git da talk gng
BENNETT:
picc up lines dont wrk on dope chiccs ne wayz..
BENNETT:
ne wayz here go 2 i like to use
BENNETT:
da first is waddup im bennett
BENNETT:
im not da type to interup a pretty girl
BENNETT:
but their is sumthin about u. sumthin abt ur style dat im tryen 2 figure out
BENNETT:
she will go wat?
BENNETT:
den i give her 2 things abt her to chose from dat are awsim
BENNETT:
i say
BENNETT:
U r either a girl who has incredabal dreams dat r supa intensce
BENNETT:
and dey give u da abilaty 2 be vary styleish
BENNETT:
or u C colors difrantly den most peopel.u c dem in a deep way dats hela deep and ur betta at dresseing den most hoes r
BENNETT:
both of dem are bull shit she aint speshial
BENNETT:
but bitchez wanna think dey are speshail so she will picc 1 and start talken abt her self.. den u builld on that and keep makeing her feel like a alien dat has speshil shit about her. . . . .
BENNETT:
da sekond 1
BENNETT:
hi im bennett.. i notice u hav sumthin speshial abt u most girls dont have
BENNETT:
she says wat
BENNETT:
u have wat r called prinncess cheeks and dis is wat dat means
BENNETT:
99 % of girls have normall cheeks but a vary small numba of girls hav prinnscess cheeks.u get cheeks like dat bcuz u smile in a real way not like most fake chix do.. it means ur a vary real persen who is genuwin and many ppl can truss u also u cum from a line of royalty
ME:
Dude. Has that ever worked?
BENNETT:
it works evry single time all girls want to be a prinscess
ME:
#3 IF SHE WANTED A GIRLFRIEND, SHE’D FUCK HER GIRL FRIEND.
ME:
This one makes sense without even seeing an explanation.
BENNETT:
*fucc
BENNETT:
basicly dont be a guy she lables as one of da girlfriends
BENNETT:
dont be a push ova.. dont be a sweety pie..dont gossip and be all sencitive and shit.dont be afraid 2 ignore her and tell her ur busy
BENNETT:
da less u say da betta.. da more busy u r da more she will want u
BENNETT:
if a girl calls u and says OMG wat r u doin lets talk abt how awsim i am and how pretty i am
BENNETT:
b like No im watchen da game wit my niggaz
ME:
What if a game isn’t on?
BENNETT:
how da fucc wud she no ? girls dont watch games
ME:
What if it’s 10 pm, when no games are on?
BENNETT:
b like da game is in canadia its da aftarnoon their
ME:
Lmao.
ME:
So even if it’s 3 am say I’m watching a game and gotta go?
BENNETT:
well no if its 3 am she is callin cuz she wants 2 worship ur stachew of luv.. but N E thing b4 1130 u watchin da game
So far, what I had gathered was above all else: focus on and develop a friendship with the girl. A real one, where if she acts uninterested in dating you, you are unfazed by it because the friendship is that important to you. Don’t ask her tons of boring and predictable questions, because you’ll come off as boring and predictable. And don’t act like a girl she shops and mingles with. Because you’ll end up in the friend zone. Women want men. Men who say little and represent strength, loyalty, and being unafraid of taking control of a situation.
The sad part was I already knew all of this but was just missing something.
ME:
Okay. #4 is THUGLIFE. Teeth hair etc. etc.
BENNETT:
dis 1 is abt da hoW U CARRY URSELF AND APEAR
BENNETT:
in order 4 u 2 pull dime bitchez u gadda live dat thug life
BENNETT:
each leter stand 4 sumthin importint
BENNETT:
T is Teith..brush ur teith. i mean hello . U dont want nasty ass yelow teith dat smell like u ate a frozzen fart. . . . .Have a fre$h mouth so u can kiss and talk to bitchez w no problam
BENNETT:
H is for hair.u gadda have a hair cut..chix want a guy who isnt shaggy and keeps his hair trimed and clean . . . duh dats obvias
BENNETT:
U is for Unda arms Dis is importint bcuz u will think im gunna say make sure u wear d.Odarent but im not. DONT Wear d.Odarent u hav wats called farramones in ur body i seent it on animiel planet