That Night (32 page)

I was silent, waiting. I knew the drill. I wasn’t under arrest, yet, so he had to make sure he let me know I wasn’t being detained.

“You’ve probably heard that Cathy Schaeffer’s body was found yesterday,” he said. “It appears she was murdered.”

I knew that had to be the case or they wouldn’t have called me in, but the news still hit hard. I thought about Cathy crying at my trial, the lies falling out of her mouth. I’d hated her, but I hadn’t wanted her dead. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Are you?”

“Of course.”

He narrowed his eyes, stared at me hard. In prison you learn never to make eye contact with the guards, and it took all my strength now not to look away.

“I thought you might be happy she’s dead—after how she testified at your trial. That had to have really pissed you off.”

I kept my mouth shut.

He leaned so close I could smell his lunch on his skin, something Italian, basil and tomato sauce. I focused on that, not the fear.

“The way she died, the blows, it looks a lot like your sister’s murder,” he said. “Seems the weapon might have been a tire iron again.”

I tasted acid in my mouth, my stomach contents threatening to rise. I tried to block the memory of Nicole’s body when we’d found her, how her skull had been crushed, her face mangled, but I couldn’t help the flashes that slapped into me, the image of a tire iron smashing down, Nicole trying to cover her head, cowering in terror. I didn’t want Hicks to know he was getting a reaction out of me, but I felt hot all over and beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. He was studying my face, his gaze lingering on the pulse beating frantically in my neck.

“Where were you last Wednesday night?” he said.

“Working late at the restaurant.” I let out my breath a little. I was relieved to hear it was that day. The night before that I’d been home alone, no alibi.

“What time did you get off?”

“It was midnight by the time I finished cleaning up.”

His face was speculative and I wondered what time they figured she had died, or if they knew.

“You go anywhere after?”

I thought back. “I stopped at the gas station for some dog cookies.”

“Got the receipt?”

“I’m not sure, maybe.” I sure as hell hoped so.

“You remember the clerk?”

“It was a young guy, blond hair, goatee.” We’d talked briefly about our dogs. I prayed he would remember me.

Hicks leaned back in his chair. Giving me that same look he had when I was eighteen, like he knew I was no good and was just trying to find out how deep the rot went. “Don’t suppose you know where Ryan was that night?”

I had to be careful now, not show even a flicker of fear in my eyes.

“No idea.”

“You see him since he’s been out?”

“We aren’t allowed any contact.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Bastard was as smart as I remembered.

“No. I haven’t seen him.”

“I heard he’s pretty pissed off about the girls testifying at the trial.”

“I wouldn’t know how he feels.”

“So how do you feel about it?”

I couldn’t help myself. “They were lying.”

“That’s what you said back then too.”

“Because it’s the truth.”

“So you must be pissed off at them.”

I recited what I’d learned to say in my parole hearings. “I’ve learned from my past mistakes and just want to become a productive member of society.”

He gave me a look that made it clear he knew I was really telling him to fuck off. I came close to saying it out loud, rolled the words around on my tongue, savored them. Then I thought of Captain and swallowed them whole.

“I’ve thought about your case, what happened that night,” he said. “Ryan, he was bad news, but up until you hooked up with him you were a pretty good kid. I’d hate to think of the same thing happening again.”

“It won’t.”

“Just in case you
have
seen your old friend, you should probably know that when he was inside, he got himself quite the reputation as a fighter with a violent temper, beat up some guards, spent a lot of time in segregation.”

I was surprised, remembering how Ryan had always tried to walk away from fights unless he was pushed to the limit, and wondered just how bad things had been for him in prison. It filled me with rage, thinking of him in segregation, knowing what it was like for me, neither of us deserving it. I kept my mouth shut.

“I’ve been talking to a few people you two used to pal around with,” Hicks said. “One of the guys said Ryan used to talk about Nicole, how sexy and hot she was.” He shook his head. “Apparently he used to have a fantasy about getting the two of you together for some action.” I knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me, but his lies were hard to listen to. Jesus, my sister was
dead.

He leaned even closer, his leg brushing mine, his body language intimate, like we were close friends. I stared at the wall, refusing to look at him.

“That night, you say you were passed out the whole time, but how do you know your boy Ryan
stayed
passed out? How do you know he didn’t wake up and decide to try his luck with Nicole? He had some scratches on his arms.”

I flashed briefly to the image of Ryan’s wrist over his face when we woke up that night, the bloody scratches. Was that what he was talking about?

“He got those from the bushes. He wouldn’t
touch
my sister.”

But Hicks wasn’t done. “Are you sure? Did you know he took Nicole into a bedroom at a party that summer? They didn’t come out for an hour.”

My head jerked back. I tried to recover quickly, but Hicks had picked up on my surprise.

“You didn’t know.”

“Because it’s bullshit.”

“There are witnesses.”

I laughed. “Right, probably the same ones who lied at our trial.”

He was shaking his head. “A few people saw them go off. Nicole was extremely drunk by all counts, who knows what happened?”

I stared at him, thinking back to that summer. What party? Was it when I was working at the restaurant? Was Hicks just making this up?

He continued, “See, Ryan was just starting to get in trouble, stealing gas, talking you into breaking into your neighbors’ place. His dad, he was a real bad character. I know he used to rough Ryan up, and Ryan had a lot of anger in him. Stuff like that, it comes out eventually. We have a dead girl seventeen years ago, now we have another one. So I ask myself, what do these two girls have in common? Ryan Walker. Maybe you protected him back then, but now? I don’t think you want to go back to prison. So if you know something else, something about your boy, you might want to start talking now.”

I kept my voice calm and controlled, but my blood was pumping hard in my ears, threatening to drown out common sense, making me want to slam his head into the table.

“I don’t know anything about Ryan now, but I do know he’s not stupid enough to kill a witness and make it look exactly the same as Nicole’s murder. Cathy was a crackhead. Wouldn’t it make more sense to get her to OD? We were problem kids, no doubt about it, but you can’t say we were stupid, and we never hurt anyone who didn’t mess with us first.”

“That’s my point, Toni.”

I could have kicked myself for saying so much, but I couldn’t stop now.

“And my point is that we aren’t killers. You guys fucked up back then. The killer is still out there and someone wants to make sure we look guilty as shit again, to get us out of the way. So while you’re messing around with us and your bullshit questions, that person is laughing at how fucking stupid the cops are.”

His face flushed red. He sat back up, finally giving me some space.

“I’m trying to help you out here, Toni. Give you a chance to come clean. There’s already the theft hanging over you, now this. It doesn’t look good.”

“I didn’t do the theft—and I didn’t do this. You aren’t trying to help me. You know that by even talking to me you’ve probably just fucked up my parole.”

“If we find out you had something to do with Cathy’s death, parole is the least of your problems.”

“I’m not saying anything else. You cops only see what you want and hear what you want. And as far as I’m concerned, you’re deaf and blind. If you’re going to ask anything more, I want my lawyer or you better arrest me.”

He nodded, acknowledging that he’d pushed me as far as I was going to go. He stood up. “Thanks for coming in today, Toni. We’ll be in touch.”

He walked me out of the station and down to my truck, watched me drive off. My heart rate didn’t settle until I got back to the campsite, then it jacked up again when I remembered I had to call Suzanne right away.

She answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hi, Suzanne, it’s Toni. I just wanted to let you know the cops pulled me in for questioning.”

“What for?”

“Cathy Schaeffer, her body was found. She was murdered. They think she was hit with a tire iron.” Deafening silence on the other end of the phone. “I have an alibi for the night they asked about—I was working until late, then I stopped at a store on my way home and talked to the clerk. When they check into it, they’ll see I couldn’t have been involved.”

“This isn’t good, Toni.”

“I know it doesn’t
look
good, but I didn’t do anything wrong. Someone is trying to screw with us.”

“Us?”

Shit. I almost let that slip. I had to be careful how I talked about Ryan.

“The cop was asking a bunch of questions about Ryan, too—but I haven’t seen or spoken with him.” And I was praying
his
alibi would also hold up.

“I’m going to have to talk to my supervisor and we’ll probably want you to come in for a review.” A review. I didn’t like the sound of that.

“Give it to me straight, Suzanne. Are you suspending me?”

“Just come in and we’ll talk.” She was walking the line, trying not to spook me, which meant I was probably screwed.

I clenched my fist, fighting the urge to throw the phone across the room.
Stay cool, Toni. Don’t make things worse.
“When do you want me?”

“I’ll get back to you.”

She hung up.

*   *   *

Too upset to hang around the cabin, I went to get some milk at the store and saw the newspaper right away. I stood frozen, staring at the headline: “Local Woman’s Body Found.” I kept my face down, bought the paper, then sat in my truck and read every terrible word. They mentioned Nicole’s murder, me and Ryan being on parole, the upcoming anniversary of Nicole’s death, Cathy’s having been a star witness at the trial. Every sentence insinuated that Cathy’s death was no coincidence. I thought of my parents and how this was going to rip everything open for them again. They were probably already getting calls. I stayed awake for hours that night, Captain beside me, trying to come up with a plan, going over everything that Hicks had said. I still couldn’t think what party Ryan and Nicole would have been at together. It had to be a lie.

There was a knock on the window at one in the morning. Captain and I both startled, Captain barking. I pulled back the curtains. It was Ryan. I slid the window open.

“What the hell are you doing here? You know—”

“I need to talk to you.”

“You could’ve phoned.”

“I wanted to see your face. Did they question you today?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah. I’ve got an alibi. I was home with my mom all that night, repainting her kitchen. They were still giving me a hard time, saying she was lying to protect me, but her boyfriend stopped by and saw me there.”

I was relieved for him but still angry at the situation we were in, that he had put me in. “I was working, then stopped at a store on the way home, but I don’t know what time she was killed. I called Suzanne. They want me in for a review.”

“I got a call too. It’s going to be more than a review, Toni. They just say that shit so you don’t pull a runner. As soon as you show up, the cuffs are on.”

I’d already figured that out for myself. “You shouldn’t be here. I told the cops I hadn’t seen you, but they’re probably keeping an eye on us.”

He was studying my face. I glanced down, fiddled with my blanket, but he’d caught on that something had changed.

“What else did Hicks say?”

I looked back at him. “That you got in trouble in prison and that he’d heard you had the hots for Nicole.”

“That’s a fucking lie—like I’d screw around with your little sister. You know you were the only thing I gave a shit about.”

“I know. He was just messing with me. He also said something about you two going off to a bedroom at a party, but I know it was bullshit.”

This time, though, Ryan’s face flushed.

“What the hell, Ryan?”

He met my eyes, his jaw tight. “You were working late one night, so I stopped at a party. I didn’t know Nicole was there with the girls. She was super-hammered and falling all over herself. She told me she was going to be sick, so I took her to one of the bedrooms. She was puking in the en suite, and embarrassed, so we stayed in there until she sobered up a little. I tried to talk to her about drinking, said she had to take it easy.…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I felt unsettled and confused, shocked that he’d never told me. I thought we had no secrets.

“She begged me not to say anything, and you guys were already fighting so much that summer. I didn’t want to cause more problems or stress you out.”

“You should’ve said something.” My face was hot with anger and hurt.

“You’re right. I screwed up.”

I couldn’t look at him, afraid I’d cry. Our relationship had been the only thing I could count on back then, the only thing I knew was true. Now I didn’t know what to think. I stared down at the table.

He grabbed my hand. “Hey, I’m telling the truth, okay?”

I thought about Shauna’s insinuations the night she came to my boat. She must’ve known about the party, but was there something else? I remembered how Nicole would always hang out when Ryan was over, how he said she looked good at that party we were at together, how he always stuck up for her.

I pulled my hand away. “What else are you keeping from me?”

Now he looked angry. “Look, I know you’re pissed, but it was just a stupid lie—I was a kid, I thought I was protecting you. You were all I cared about.”