The 13th: Destiny Awaits (8 page)

“You don't have it,” her mother repeated slowly. The expression on her face became an ugly grimace. “You don't have it!” she snapped, jerking Kate closer.

“You are hurting me!” Kate hauled her arm out of her mother's fingers, her breath laboured.
She won't hurt me, she won't hurt me
, she tried to reassure herself. And she couldn't hurt her, not when people would come running at the first press of the button installed by the door.

“You don't have it!”

“I don't need it anymore.” Kate moved out of her mother's reach, watching her mother as she turned in the armchair. She expected her to stand up and to come after her, but her mother stayed in the upholstered armchair like she was trapped in it, like it was a cage from which she couldn't escape. “And you won't need it either, you'll see.”

Her mother was silent, observing her with a scowl on her pale face, her hands curled around the edge of the chair's back. She looked weak and scared.

In the therapy Kate had to attend after her mother was committed, the doctors reassured her that she wasn't responsible for her mother's state, that it wasn't her fault, but Kate still felt guilty that her mother was confined in this small room, hoping that someday she would get well enough to leave it. Actually she yearned for it, for her mother's freedom, for her presence in the now cold and empty house, because then the laughter, the warmth, and the comfort of home-cooking would return. It was the fault of her mother’s fear of ghosts, but now she was going to show her mother that there was nothing to be afraid of.

“All I wanted was to protect you,” her mother whimpered.

And that's why she wanted to take away the pendant that, according to her, offered safety? “To protect yourself, you mean?”

“You don't understand.
He
...
he
...” Her mother's eyes were fixed on something behind Kate while her fingers clenched and unclenched around the armchair's back. “You can't possibly...” Her voice broke.

“Nobody is going to hurt you. I promise,” Kate said. “I will show you that they can be beautiful. Look.” She closed her eyes, focused, and soon she held the scythe in her hand.

Her mother gasped, and when Kate's eyelids fluttered open, she could see her mother shaking her head, repeating. “No. No.”

“Look.” Kate waved the scythe, then scowled at the absence of spirits. They should have appeared. Where were they? Could there be something wrong with the scythe? She examined the snath. Or did the drawn pentagrams prevent them from appearing? But Ethan said that pentagrams only influenced the vision, not the ghosts. “I don't know why, but...” She looked up at her mother.

Her mother was shaking her head, her jaw tensed.

“I wanted to show them to you. They are beautiful and harmless.”

“No!”

“Mum?”

“I didn't -- I got rid of them.
He
said --
He
was right.”

“Mum?”

“My daughter...My own daughter.”

The scythe vanished and Kate cautiously stepped closer. “Mum?”

“I tried so hard.” Mother covered her face with her hands and started to rock her body. “
He
was right. And I tried so hard... I tried so hard.”

Kate put her hand on her mother's shoulder. “Mum?”

Her mother flinched. She snarled at Kate. “Get out! Get out!”

Kate stumbled backward.

“Get out!” Her mother pulled herself to her knees, her fingers gnarled and claw-like as they dug into the back of the chair. “Get out!”

“Mum, stop it.” She just needed to calm her mother down.

“Get out.”

“Please, calm down.” Kate took a step forward and hesitantly put her hand on her mother's shoulder.
Just calm down. Please. Please
.

“Don't touch me!” Her mother slapped Kate's hand away.

“Mum, please.”
Don't say that.

“Get out!”

It shouldn't turn out this way! What had happened? “Mum, please, let me just show you --”

“You are not my daughter! You have become that thing,” she spat out.

She had made things worse. Shaking her head, Kate touched her throat. How could that be? How could she make things worse when it was supposed to be so easy? Her mother should see them and realize that they were not dangerous, and then --

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” Her mother screamed at her. “Get out! You monster! Get out!”

Monster? Me?
Did she really love her? She had said so, hadn’t she --
I love you
-- just last Saturday? But it was all a lie. Kate wheeled around, fumbled with the doorknob, shoved the door open, and then rushed across the hallway, down the stairs, across the hall into the sunlight. She shielded her eyes from the light as she continued through the parking lot to her car, falling into the driver’s seat. She fisted her shivering, clammy fingers around the wheel and rested her forehead on it. She had failed.

She had failed!

How could she fail?

The world had become such a dark place. But it had always been like that, since the moment her mother’s fingers had embraced her neck and squeezed. Unlovable, that’s what she was. Unlovable.
If even my mother can’t love me, then who will?

Her phone started to ring, the sound coming from her small handbag.

She ignored it, too preoccupied with staring at her knees. What was she going to do now?

The ringing continued, the noise of it grating on her nerves. She pulled the phone out and glanced at the display.
Ethan
. Why wasn't she surprised?

She answered it, stuttering, “Could we talk later, please?” Then, not waiting for the answer, she hung up the phone and tossed it on the passenger seat. A little later a buzz announced a text message. And then another one. And another one.

She sighed and rested her forehead against the wheel. A monster, huh? Of all the names her mother could have called her, she called her a monster. If it hadn’t hurt so much, it would have been funny.

Another buzz followed by a ringing. It was Ethan again. She turned the phone on and leaned it against her ear.

“What's wrong?”

She glanced at her shaky hands. There was no way she would be able to drive home, not yet anyway. He was the last person she would ask for help, but who else was there she could turn to? “Talk to me. Tell me something, anything, please.” She needed something to distract her. “Tell me how your day went. Did you do anything special?”

Without asking why, he started to talk.

Kate sighed and rested her forehead against the steering wheel. She appreciated Ethan's help in calming down, she really did, but if she had known that he would ambush her afterwards, in front of her house, she would have hung up on him and tried to calm down on her own.

From the corner of her eye she could see him coming toward the car. She sighed again and opened the door. All she wanted right now was to curl up in her wardrobe and just lay there, until -- forever. “Hey.”

“You don't look well.” He rested his hand against the car's roof and leaned close.

“I don't feel well, either.” She took her bag and climbed out of the car.

“What happened?”

A crease cut into her forehead. “Just a visit to my mother.” She walked toward the entrance into the house.

He followed her. “And that has shaken you so much?”

She didn't regard him as a friend and she resented his prying. But he had been there when she needed somebody, and for that she owed him, didn't she? And thanks to him, she did feel slightly better. Well, as well as one could feel after their hope had been crushed down and stomped into a thousand pieces, which sharp edges cut into her, making her bleed and squirm in pain.

Her mouth twitched in a sour smile. Her father liked to console her by saying that it doesn't matter how many times you fall, but how many times you pick yourself up. Well, tell that to somebody who has just broken her nose in the fall. She stopped at the door and faced Ethan.

“You don't want to talk about it, I see. I can understand that.”

He wouldn’t try to dig? Maybe he really was as nice a guy as he always liked to claim.

“But in exchange, you have to agree to keep me company on a double date with Mandy and Tyler.”

Or maybe he wasn't that nice after all. “Please, tell me you’re not serious. I'm really not in the mood for that.” Despite her words, the image of them behaving like Tyler and Mandy, shyly glancing at each other and holding hands, flashed before her eyes. For a second, warmth sneaked into the pit of her stomach, and a hint of joy bubbled deep inside her -- what was with that? -- before she shoved it down. It wasn't care for her that propelled Ethan to make that demand, she was sure of that.

“Umm... please?”

She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as she crossed her arms. “And why would I do that?”

“That blonde, she doesn't believe that we’re dating.”

She knew it. She sagged against the door and put a fake smile on her face. “Who said I would be your pretend girlfriend? You should have asked me before you started with your charade.”

“But you would have said ‘no.’”

Yes, she would have. He was enough of a nuisance as it was, and pretending to be lovey-dovey with him was the last thing she needed. “And now I’ll say ‘yes’?”

“Well, that or you can tell me what's bothering you.”

Like she would. She scowled. He was definitely not a nice guy.

“Please.” He stepped closer. “It will help you distract yourself. That's what you want, isn’t it? Something to distract you?”

“I don't know.” She pressed her fingers against her forehead, then slid them to her temples.

“I'm sure it was you who told her who I was.”

Kate shifted sideways, putting some distance between them. “If you need to blame somebody, blame yourself. It's your glittery version that attracted her.”

“My glittery version?” He grinned as he moved closer.

“If you don't want to draw attention, then why dress like that?” Kate locked the door and backed into the foyer.

“Dress like what?” He leaned his arm on the doorjamb.

“Like you came out of a fashion magazine.” She didn't get it. Just dressing casually and with his hair sticking out like he just got up attracted girls like moths to the light, so why go through the extra trouble when he said he didn't want the attention? “You said you don't want to fit in.”

“And dressing nicely here and there is trying to fit in?” He pushed his way inside and leaned on the wall.

His scent enveloped her and, staring at his mouth, she licked her lips. He stood so close, so close that if she pushed herself onto her tiptoes or if he leaned further down... She shook her head. Just less than an hour ago, she was wallowing in despair, and here she was now with warmth creeping into her cheeks, getting her head messed up by an insensitive little jerk.

“How does tomorrow evening sound?” he asked. “I'm thinking a movie and dinner at Burger King or whatever the most popular place is. And later... I don't know, what do people do here on Saturday night?”

“What?” She stilled and looked up at him, focusing on the bridge of his nose. Burger King?

“The date. And then we still have to schedule our training sessions in the dojo. We will make firmer arrangements tomorrow.”

“No, we won't.”

“Oh yes we will.” He pushed himself away from the wall, away from her, hopefully not noticing the sigh of relief that escaped from her throat. “Don't forget.”

“You are such a jerk.” She glared at him.

“Nah, you just don't know me yet. But you will get to know me very well.” He gently flicked her nose, smiling at her. “Do you feel better now?”

“Huh? Don't tell me all this was to try to make me feel better?”

“Maybe. Though I'm serious about the date,” he said. “Now, go get that nap you wanted. Or would you prefer if I stayed?”

She shook her head.

“No?” He raised his brows. “You could at least pretend that you had to think about it.” He gave her another gentle smile, and then he said goodbye, leaving her confused and scowling, but without the despair that just a few moments ago had threatened to pull her down into its depths. It seemed that she wouldn’t need the wardrobe after all.

A date, huh?

#

Kate shoved off the arm thrown around her shoulders. “Stop it.” She glowered at the blond sitting beside her in the booth of the local bistro. The white, red and black L-shaped room had a seventies theme, with a counter running alongside the wall opposite to the entrance and windows that looked out on the already dark street. Their booth was near the door, and every time it opened a breeze and the sounds of early evening drifted through.

Ethan's arm again descended onto her shoulder, and before she could push it off, he pulled her against his side, his eyes narrowing as he leaned over her. “Start cooperating, please.”

They had already seen the movie, some comedy full of action whose storyline she couldn't follow, too aware of the boy beside her. Under her eyelashes, Kate peeked at Sandra, glaring at them from one of the booths across the room from them. “Fine. As long as you don't get too close.”

Tyler grinned over the red table at her as he imitated Ethan and shyly put his arm around Mandy's shoulders.

Mandy's cheeks flushed and she lowered her head, but she didn't make any attempts to wiggle out of Tyler's half-embrace. “You two look good together.”

“You do know that this is a fake date,” Kate reminded Mandy.

“I do, but... I wish it were real.”

Kate glanced at Ethan.

Ethan gave her another one of his impish smiles. “I like your look of adoration. It makes me feel loved.”

Kate rolled her eyes, but otherwise refrained from making a comeback. Later, when she waited with Mandy at the entrance watching Ethan and Tyler fighting for the privilege of paying the bill at the cashier, Mandy commented how relaxed Ethan looked.

“Is he always like that?”

“He doesn't like people too much,” Mandy said. “Maybe because he has always been the target of people's affection since he was little; he just walked through the door, and there were cheek pinches and candy and ooh-ing and ahh-ing. It was nothing but a bother to him.”

“I never thought that being too popular could be a problem,” Kate commented, watching Ethan as he triumphantly pulled out his wallet.

Ethan paid and after the boys joined them, they walked out onto the street. They turned their steps to the well-lit arcade that beckoned to them in the descending night -- Tyler's suggestion, which was accepted unanimously.

Boys will be boys
, Kate thought when Ethan and Tyler raced to the first available machine to compete with each other as soon as they arrived.

Kate wasn't that interested in games; the only thing she liked to play were some simple card games, The Sims, and sometimes variations of three-in-a-row, so she was relieved when Mandy didn't show any interest in the games available in the arcade. The boys took advantage of that and, pushing money into their hands, sent the girls to get drinks for them.

The vending machines stood at the far end of the hall, and the girls had to elbow their way through the groups that gathered around the games, making noises of approval or disapproval as they cheered on their friends who played.

“So, Ethan really has a trust fund?” Kate continued questioning Mandy.

“Yeah. Dad invested his money and then tied it all up in a fund so he now receives a monthly stipend.” Mandy pushed the bills into the slot in the machine. “What do you want to drink?”

“Anything is fine as long as it doesn't have bubbles,” Kate said before she returned to their subject. “Like an allowance?”

“Yeah, sort of. It's a big allowance, though, he could live modestly off it on his own. And he did in Japan, just after his...” Mandy trailed off. Frowning, she examined the labels on the machine. She pressed a few buttons.

“His...?” Kate played with the white scarf that Ethan had hung around her neck after she complained that he was too flashy and that he had too many accessories for a boy.

The cans rattled down, and Mandy bent over, pushed her hand through the machine door and picked them up. “Well, anyway...”

“His...?” Kate repeated her question, hoping that it would be answered, despite seeing the tense lines in the curve of Mandy's neck and shoulders.

Mandy straightened and offered her a can of apple juice, the smile on her face looking strained. She gazed over Kate's shoulder into the distance. “He never had any goals in life, and... Well, you have to have something, some dreams to work on, right?” She glanced at Kate, her eyes thoughtful and grave before another smile, this one genuine, bloomed on her face. “And he has one now. He wants to be a
Shihan
someday -- I doubt he will reach that high though, only a few do. But at least... He is saving for a dojo, you know, and he's so excited to have found a sensei and his first student.”

Mandy's eyes on Kate seemed to twinkle with something akin to gratitude. Ethan's excitement had to have something to do with her, and if Kate had to guess... “Me, I'm his first student?”

Mandy nodded.

She didn't know what a
Shihan
was, but because of the words dojo, sensei, and ‘first student,’ she figured it had to have something to do with training jujitsu.
So, he didn't want to teach me only because of the Soul Reaper thing
, Kate thought as she followed Mandy back to the boys.

A hand shot from the gap between the two machines that served as the path to toilets and hauled her behind one of them. The hand belonged to Sandra, who was flanked by two of her closest friends, whose names Kate couldn't remember.

Sandra's frown and the patches of red on her cheeks told Kate of the anger boiling inside the blonde girl, and Kate could guess the source of that anger. The way the girls circled her should have scared her, but the most she felt was irritation. Some people thought that they deserved everything that they desired, even things to which they had no right. And sometimes society didn't just tolerate the sense of entitlement by turning a blind eye to it, but encouraged it by punishing the victims when they struck back.

“Stay away from him,” Sandra hissed in her face.

Kate would have sworn she felt tiny droplets of spit on her face. “Or what? You’re going to tell him my mother is in a nuthouse? He already knows that.”

“Look at you.” Sandra sized her up, her lip curled in a sneer. “You might have looked good a year ago, but now you are just an overweight slob.”

Kate smoothed the fabric of her hoodie over the softness of a stomach that used to be firm and flat. So she had neglected herself a little and gained a little weight. “So what?”

The girls stepped closer.

“If you don't get out of my way -- You can't even imagine what I can do to you.” Sandra's mouth was a thin, angry red line as she hissed, “You are not going to take him away from me.”

Take what away from her? Ethan? “You can't lose something you never had.”

Sandra lifted her hand like she was about to strike her, and Kate had already prepared herself for a sting in her cheek when a shadow veiled the light coming from the neon lights above and fingers wrapped around Sandra's wrist.

Kate looked past Sandra, and her eyes met with ice blue ones that seemed sympathetic and warm as they gazed at her, but then hardened when he shifted his focus to the blonde.

“I don't appreciate you assaulting my girlfriend.”