The #5Star Affair (Love Hashtagged Book 1) (7 page)

Ethan stowed the bizarre exchange as best he could, and turned back into the apartment.

“Get used to that with her,” Rich said as the door clicked shut behind Ethan.

Rich probably had answers, but Ethan suspected they’d be more honest coming from Jaycie.

“Dude”—Rich punched him in the shoulder—“you still here?”

Ethan would have to redirect his adrenaline toward slaughtering digital soldiers. At least that would give him something to take his aggression out on. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Rich pulled a disc from the game console. “Whoa. How did you get your hands on this? Rumor was they delivered all of these in armored trucks with armed guards.” It was Jaycie’s review copy of
God of Stars
.

Seeing the game refreshed the entire morning in Ethan’s mind, souring his mood further. He snatched it away from Rich. “I have my sources. What are we playing?”

“That.” Rich nodded at the disc.

“No. We’re not.”

Fortunately, more friends started drifting in. The tension in the room faded, and Ethan found an excuse to break away long enough, to stow the demo disc in Jaycie’s room.

Jaycie lay in bed, staring at the light creeping over the popcorn pattern, as the sun rose outside her window. She couldn’t hear any traffic. It was too early on a Sunday morning for that kind of thing. Yesterday had been such a mess. She still didn’t know how she felt about what had happened with Ethan. Seeing Rich again, however, him knowing where she lived—those two minutes had sent a spike of panic through her she hadn’t expected. If he told Kent…

Now that she’d had a chance to clear her head and sleep off the paranoia, her reaction felt a little over-the-top. It still sat heavy in her gut, though.

At least Ethan was still sleeping, if the silence in the house was any indicator. She could figure out what to explain to him. How she felt about him. About Nick’s friends knowing where she was…

She pushed away the circular thoughts before they could repeat too many times, and climbed out of bed. Yup, Ethan’s door was closed. That was a good thing, right? She told herself it was, but she didn’t believe it. Every time she thought about him, whenever she hung out with him, she wanted more. Turning him down yesterday had almost devoured her. She hadn’t been able to look at him the rest of the afternoon—not because she was embarrassed, but because making eye contact meant giving in.

Then again, would that really be a big deal? What would it be like to stop pretending whatever was going on between them was this big vague thing to be avoided at all costs?

She started the coffee maker, and leaned back against the counter. A thousand what-if’s raced through her thoughts, all of them focused on redefining her relationship with Ethan. The machine sputtered to life, dark liquid dripping into the pot. When it was done, she grabbed a mug from the cupboard and filled it. She set the carafe back on the warmer, and moved to the fridge for milk.

“Morning.” Ethan’s quiet greeting startled her.

She gasped, and dropped her coffee mug. Ceramic and scalding liquid sprayed across her legs and the kitchen floor, and she jumped back in surprise. “Shit.” She grabbed handfuls of paper towels and dropped to her knees, grateful for the excuse to ignore him while she figured out what she was going to say.

“Jace. Stop.” Ethan wrapped fingers around her arm, and pulled her to her feet. He guided her toward the stools. “I’ll get it.”

“But—” She stuttered on the protest, as the nickname slid its way under her skin and soothed her. She’d been called that in high school, and hated the name. There was something about the way it rolled off his tongue though, familiar, comforting, and intimate, that gave it an entirely different feeling. His firm, gentle grip pushed her rambling confusion aside.

He stared at her for a minute, expression unreadable. “It’s not a big deal. Go change. I’ll take care of it.”

Relief and disappointment warred inside. Was she grateful for the opportunity to walk away or not? “Thanks.”

In the bathroom, she stripped off her clothes and stepped into the shower. Her mind was too much of a jumble for her to make sense of it, so she ignored it. When the coffee was rinsed away, she dried off and wrapped a towel around herself.

Ethan’s door was closed again. She should be grateful for the interrupted moment. She’d been seconds away from making a mistake, and telling him what she was thinking. Except was it really as big a deal as she was pretending? She ducked into her own room, and pulled on dry clothes. She yanked her door open, and her hand flew to her hammering heart, when she saw Ethan leaning against the wall across from her.

“Jumpy much?” He gave her a half-smile, sympathy reflected in his dark eyes.

She tried to laugh. Hell, that sounded fake. “I guess.”

He kept his distance, arms crossed. “Since I destroyed your coffee, can I treat you to something stronger and sweeter?”

“I don’t usually drink at seven in the morning.”

“I meant like a caramel latte.”

“Oh.” Her cheeks grew warm, but she didn’t want to look away from his shimmer of amusement and the pleasant lines around his mouth.

“I mean, unless you’d like to go back to hiding in your room.”

Busted. She ducked her head and sighed. “I wasn’t hiding.”

“Whatever.” He wrapped his fingers around hers, and tugged. “Then you don’t mind keeping me company.” He pulled her toward the front door.

She liked the way his warm palm nestled against hers. Liked it a lot.

They drove in silence. She didn’t know what to say, and he gave her nothing to grab onto and run with.

It was still early, and the only other customers at the drive-up coffee shop waited at the window. Ethan still didn’t speak as he paid for their drinks, set hers in front of her, and took the seat across from her. Did he expect her to say something? Explain something? Continue the conversation from yesterday?

She took a long drink, not caring that the coffee scalded her tongue, and then dragged in a deep breath. For all the confused jumble in her thoughts, she still noticed the way his gaze traced over her, strayed below the neckline, and shot back to her eyes. She suppressed a smile at the attention. How could he have that impact on her, even in the middle of her brain going on strike?

It would be so much easier to just erase the last twenty-four or so hours. To go back to that kiss, finish what they started, forget the rest of yesterday happened. Too bad that wasn’t an option.

“You know Rich?” Ethan finally broke the silence.

She clenched her jaw. They were diving right in to the unpleasant stuff. “It showed?”

“Ex boyfriend?”

She couldn’t help the barking laugh that slipped out. “Me date Rich? You know him, right? That’s why he was at the apartment? Have you ever listened to him for more than a few minutes?”

Ethan raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s got qualities I don’t see. Seriously though, no. I can’t see you being in the same room with him for more than a few minutes without kneeing him in the nuts. Verbally, of course.”

The reply relaxed her a little. “I’m not that good. He’s friends with my ex-boyfriend.” Her thoughts stalled on the surge of memories that followed the confession. The reminder of Kent. The fear she’d been trying to rationalize away since last night.

A neutral mask slid onto Ethan’s face. “Can I guess things didn’t end well?”

“As frequently happens with break-ups.” She cringed at the biting sarcasm. “Sorry. You don’t deserve that.” She traced the scratches in the plastic table, trying to compose her thoughts. “Nick was a nice enough guy. Always did and said the right things. Treated me like the most precious thing in the world.”

Ethan clenched his jaw.

She slid the paper sleeve up and down her coffee cup. “I mean, he didn’t know what I did for a living. Pretty sure he didn’t care one way or the other, but he was still kind. And then his best friend, Kent, backed me into a corner.”

She couldn’t look at Ethan. Didn’t want to try and guess what he was thinking. What if she told him this story, and his reaction was the same as Nick’s had been? Her gut clenched at the idea. She had to get it out, though.

“He…um…” She intertwined her fingers to keep her hands from shaking. “Nick had a bunch of friends over one night. Drinking, gaming—standard bullshit. I usually steered clear, because it was easier that way.”

She swallowed the bile rising in her throat at the vivid memory. She’d managed to stuff it away since it happened. Now that she was reaching for it, though, it tumbled back full-force. “Kent stumbled into our room. I was sitting on the bed, watching TV…” She breathed deeply. “It wasn’t like he ra—forced himself on me or anything. But he did pin me down. Pawed at me a bit. Told me if I ever got tired of Nick, I knew where to find him.”

She couldn’t get more descriptive than that. The memory clawed at her a lot more than the words. “One of the guys called him back from the living room, and he gave me this knowing leer. Told me we weren’t done.”

Ethan opened his mouth. “Jace, I do—”

“Wait.” She had to finish the story, or she’d lose her nerve, swallow it back down, and go back to ignoring the memory. She traced her fingers over her neck. “I tried to tell Nick. He told me I was overreacting. Rich backed him up. I don’t know. Maybe I was. Kent and I crossed paths again a few days later. Early Sunday morning. Almost empty strip mall. He pinned me to a wall by my throat. Told me if I ever talked shit about him again, he'd kill me, fuck my corpse, and bury me where no one would find me.

“I tried one more time to tell Nick, and he insisted I’d misunderstood. I made excuses to leave every time Kent came over. Nick called me on it, asked me to get over whatever my problem was. I couldn’t, so I walked out. Refused to answer his texts after I left. Made sure he didn’t know where I’d gone.”

She exhaled, a strange kind of calm sinking over her. Now she’d told Ethan how irrational she was, he’d stop trying so hard to win her over.

“Christ, Jace. I’m so sorry.”

Her brain stalled on the words. “I… What?” She realized his hands were clenched so tightly, his knuckles had paled.

“I can’t even…” He spoke through clenched teeth. “Tell me where this guy lives. I’ll talk to him.”

No. That was the last thing she needed. If Kent didn’t already know where she was, after yesterday, there was no reason to draw attention to her. She reached across the table and covered his fist. The tremor in his hand vibrated through hers. “Don’t,” she said.

“What?”

“I’m not telling you this to sic you on Kent. I figured you deserve to know why I freaked out yesterday, but it’s not because I want you to do something.”

He stared at her in disbelief. “He threatened you.”

She turned her attention back to the tabletop. “He probably didn’t mean it.” Her voice wavered. “But better safe than sorry, right?”

“Yes.” Ethan spat out the word more forcefully than he intended. “That’s why you can’t just let it slide.”

“I don’t—” She snapped her jaw shut mid-shout. She didn’t know how better to get her point across. “I watch my back. That has to be enough.”

“It’s not.” His phone chimed, and then a second and third time, and he growled. “I should have shut that off.” 

“Answer it.”  She didn’t want to end the conversation this way, but she was struggling with her composure. “You’re not changing my mind on this. The conversation is over.”

*

Ethan didn’t want to drop the subject, but he also could see Jaycie was seconds away from shutting him out. He pulled up the new text messages, while his brain traipsed through ways to convince her to let him do something. Instead of helping him focus, the message from Rich sent his concern into overdrive.

Your roommate tell you she was the enemy?

Ethan’s gut sank. The next text wasn’t any better.

She’s going down. Don’t fall with her.

What the fuck did that mean?

Jaycie’s, “Oh, God,” drilled into his thoughts.

He looked up, to find her staring at her own phone, face even paler than a few minutes earlier, mouth pinched. Another text came in from Rich, this one just a link. Gaze alternating between Jaycie and the message, Ethan clicked through.

The headline fueled the rage that had been simmering inside since she’d told him about Kent.
Game Reviewer J-Dub—Trading Sex for Her Opinion?
And Rich was the author.

A quick scan showed the article painted a picture of a game developer who’d just been trying to get by. Working his ass off to do his job. And he’d been approached by a friend’s girl. According to Rich’s article,
J-Dub
had told him she could give him the best write-up his game had ever seen, if he was willing to help her fulfill a few fantasies. When he turned her down, she told him no one would take his games seriously again. Rich hadn’t believed her, but then he saw her review of his most recent game, especially compared to
Enemies of Fortuna
–from the same company, but by a developer she was much friendlier with…

With each new word, Ethan’s rage grew another notch. He’d known Rich was an ass sometimes, but this bullshit was so far over the line, it was like the line didn’t even exist.

“I’ll be in the car. Or I’ll call a cab, if you’re not ready to leave yet,” she said.

He wasn’t sure if that was defeat or disappointment mingling with the raw fear in her voice, but he wanted to make all three vanish. Problem was, there was nothing nearby to punch, and he was seeing too much red to think of another solution. “Wait.”

“No.” She fixed a narrowed-eyed gaze on him. “My real name is all over this. I need to deal with how he found out who I am. With what this is going to do to my career. You didn’t tell him, did you?”

Ethan swallowed his irritation. She was reacting to the situation, not throwing out blind accusations. Still, he couldn’t keep the strain from his voice. “I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

She shook her head, and exhaled loudly. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“Stressed. I know. Don’t call a cab.” He fell into step beside her. “I’ll help.”

“You can’t help.” She handed him her phone again, open to a different Twitter feed. Several of the tweets related to her, the article Rich had just sent him the link to, or both. Dozens were from Rich.