The Academy - Friends vs. Family (31 page)

I blushed, dropping the brush back onto
the counter and shutting the water off. “You guys didn’t have to go through any
trouble.”

“We wanted to,” he said. He turned
slightly so he was facing me.

“Why?” I asked, focusing on the basin. I
started folding the towel. Did I really want to know this answer?

Kota wrapped his hands around mine
holding the towel, forcing me to look up. His green eyes sparkled against the
light. “When I first met you, you were this little haunted girl, and I just
didn’t know why. Next thing I know, you’re neck deep in trouble, with us at
school and at home. Despite all those problems, you’re positive and hopeful.
Every time you’ve been knocked down, you’ve gotten right back up. But there was
always some ghost hanging over your shoulder. You’d come up for air for a split
second and then slip right back into that distant stare. Now look at you.”

I tilted my head at him, confused. Ghosts?
Haunted? Is that how he saw me? I wasn’t sure. I just wanted to stop feeling so
kept apart from everything. He’d said I’d eventually feel a part of their
group, and I wasn’t sure if I felt that way at all, or if it would ever happen.
“I haven’t changed,” I said. “I’m still me.”

“You have changed,” he said. He dropped
the towel to the floor at our feet. His arms collected me, wrapped around my
shoulders and he pulled me into his chest, hugging me. My breath escaped at the
suddenness and my arms froze at my sides. “I think today was the first time I
saw you smile without those shadows in your eyes. I knew you were different.”

“Different?” I asked.

“Special,” he said. His palm brushed
against the small of my back. A soft tingling swept through my core. “You’ve
got a sweet disposition. At first I was worried you were dismissive, like I
said before. Now I’m wondering if it’s because you forgive and forget because
of that big heart you have. You’re too good for the family you’ve been stuck
with. The other guys know it, too. So we thought maybe you needed some time
away from worrying about so much stuff.”

“I feel like I haven’t done much for you
guys,” I said. “You all do so much for me. I don’t know how to thank you.”

He tightened the hug. “You’ve been good
for us, Sang,” he said.

My hands drifted up to his back,
pressing my fingertips against his muscles. “How?”

He sighed pleasantly. “We’ve been kind
of listless the past few years, going through the motions without thinking.”
His fingers started to rub in circles along my spine. “You woke us up somehow.
I think it’s because now we’ve got something to fight for again... to fight
over.”

I withdrew from the hug, gazing up at
him. “Fight over?”

He smiled down at me. “It’s not a bad
thing. We’re only human,” he said. “It’s good to argue once in a while. Just a
little. It shows you care.” He pulled away from me, grabbing my hand. “Come
on,” he said. “Let’s go to sleep.”

My free hand pushed at my lower lip as I
thought about what he said. He was happy they were fighting? I wasn’t sure I
understood it. I wasn’t sure I wanted them to fight. I didn’t like fighting and
I didn’t like to think they were angry with each other because of me. And why
would they fight over me, anyway? I’ve done barely anything for them. Do families
and friends fight?

Downstairs, Victor was on the couch. The
others were dispersed around the room. North was sitting on top of a blanket
near the end and patted the free spot between him and Silas. “Come on, Sang. I
don’t think anyone will get to sleep unless you’re over here.”

“Hey,” Gabriel said. The lip gloss had
disappeared from his mouth. “We’re not going to mess with her.”

“Uh huh,” North said.

I stepped over some of the guys and
nearly crawled over Silas lying down on his side and plopped down on the
blankets to where I was supposed to sleep. North still had his shirt off. He
plumped my pillow for me as I tucked my legs under the blanket. When I was on
my back, with the pillow under my head, Silas was blocking my view of the other
guys. A hand dropped on my forehead and I looked up to see Victor above me. He
had a sleepy smile and brushed my hair away from my face.

I wriggled in my spot, unsure of how to
sleep. On one side I had Silas looking at me and the other North was there.
Above me was Victor. I was going to sleep in a room full of boys. My skin
tingled. Would I be able to sleep at all?

Kota turned off the light and I started
giggling. I couldn’t help it. I was nervous and didn’t know another way to
release the tension. It set off a few of the others. Someone snorted and we all
started laughing.

North leaned over me. “See what you
started?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “It’s always the
girl’s fault.”

“That’s true!” Gabriel said.

When my eyes adjusted to the dark, I
caught the outline of Silas’s face. He was still on his side, looking down at
me. His tongue shot out, his eyes and lips contorting as he made a face. It set
me off with giggles again.

The others started laughing.

“Sang,” North grumbled.

“It was Silas!”

“Silas doesn’t giggle like that, I’m
pretty sure.”

Silas’s eyes nearly glowed in the dark
and I could tell he was grinning. There was no way I could sleep with him
looking at me. I pulled a face at him as I flipped around and he chuckled. He
moved closer to me, enough to where I could feel his breath on the back of my
head. North had turned around so I could see his back and the outline of his
cheek and ear.

My heart raced. My blood surged through
me. My ears strained to hear any little noise of the house and of the guys.
Breathing slowed around me. I sensed Silas behind me. I admired North’s back
muscles and the bicep of his arm. I wondered if Victor was asleep on the couch
yet but I was too nervous to check. If he was looking back at me, I knew it
would be impossible to sleep thinking he might be watching.

I willed myself to keep my eyes closed
and to remain still.

T
he
T
ruth
a
bout
D
reams

I dreamed I was drowning.

I felt someone shaking me. No matter how strongly I wanted to open
my eyes, I sank deeper. My limbs were numb, un-cooperating.

A voice spoke and in my confusion, I didn’t recognize it. “Sang
Baby, wake up.”

“Ti eínai láthos?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong. It sounded like she stopped
breathing.”

Shaking rattled through me but I couldn’t draw myself up out of
wherever I was.

“Sweetheart. Baby. Sang. Sang!”

My eyelids fluttered, my lungs opened up. It was like I was
discovering I could really breathe for the first time. My hands drifted up and
landed on something soft and warm.

The world stilled and when it did, I was falling asleep again,
descending back into the shadows.

“Sang!” The shaking started again.

Flashes of light swept across my brain, memories and consciousness
slipped in all at once. Something’s wrong! Who’s got me? Someone has me! I
needed to stop it.

My hands were on someone who had grabbed me. My heart radiated to
life in a panic. My hands flexed out of instinct and my fingernails tore hard
into softness.

“Fuck... shit ow.”

I was dropped and it shook me enough that my lungs opened up again
and I was coughing. There was a dim lamp on somewhere, and I barely made out
Kota’s living room through my sleep-blurred eyes. I rubbed at my face to clear
it.

North was sitting back on his heels as he hovered above me, his
arms crossed so either hand was on his forearms. His dark eyes shot questions
and confusion like spitting fireballs at my face. “What the fuck?”

My poor brain couldn’t piece together what happened quickly
enough. I gripped someone. That someone was North. “Oh god. Did I do that? I’m
sorry,” I cried out. My body started quivering so hard that my bones rattled
together. “Oh please, I’m so sorry.”

I pulled myself up to my knees, backing away from North’s
intensity. I sensed someone behind me, and felt a big hand on my back, a calm
warmth against my quaking. Silas.

North re-gripped at his arms. “What the hell was that about,
Sang?” he shouted at me.

I didn’t know. I couldn’t think. I hurt North. I felt so bad. “I’m
sorry, I’m so sorry.”

North growled, letting go of his arms. He crossed toward me on his
knees, grabbing me by the elbows. I felt something warm and wet pressing to my
skin and knew he must have been bleeding. “Why did you claw me?” he shouted
again.

“Whoa, hey,” Silas barked at him. He hooked an arm around my waist
and dragged me away from North. “Stop it.” Silas pushed me behind his back,
blocking my view of North’s rage.

I started shaking again, with tears clouding my eyes so I couldn’t
see. I hurt North. He was bleeding. I pressed my hands to my face to hide
myself, my shame.

Someone came up next to me, wrapping arms around my waist and
hugging me close. I smelled Victor’s opulent berry cologne. I pressed my head
against his shoulder, my tears wetting his t-shirt. Despite the comfort, I felt
so terrible, and that I didn’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“She stopped breathing and she clawed my arms. I want to know
why,” North growled.

“It wasn’t her fault,” Silas said. “She didn’t mean it.”

“I know she didn’t fucking mean it,” North shouted.

“You can’t yell at her like that,” Victor said. His hand found the
back of my head, his long thin fingers massaged at the base of my scalp.
“Sweetie, calm down. It’s okay.”

“What’s going on?” Kota’s voice shot through the dark, full of
command. Where had he been? Where was everyone else? Victor held my face so
close that I couldn’t see.

“Sang clawed the shit out of me,” North shouted.

“Stop yelling,” Kota said.

North’s voice boomed, “I’m not fucking yelling. I’m asking.
Fucking Sang--”

The air electrified as shouting erupted at once. Silas boomed
something in Greek that I didn’t catch and North was shouting back, in what
sounded like the same language.

There was quick movement next to us and Victor yanked me up until
I was standing. He swept me away from where the shuffling was going on. I
turned my head enough and through my tears it looked like Silas had lunged
himself at North. North was on his back, with Silas pushing at his chest to
keep him on the floor. North’s fist sailed and made contact with Silas’s
shoulder.

“That’s it,” Kota said. He marched over to the two of them and
pushed at Silas with a foot against his back. “Silas get off of him. Now.
Everyone gets an hour tomorrow.”

Silas backed off of North. His fists clenched and his shoulders
heaving. North growled, jumping up to his feet.

“I’ll make it two hours,” Kota said in a voice darker than I’d
heard him speak before.

The room quieted. I shook, terrified, confused. What did he mean?
Two hours of what?

Victor moved his hand from the back of my head to my face,
pressing at my cheek with his palm. His thumb smoothed at a spot under my eye,
wiping my tears away. “Shh, darling,” he cooed under his breath. “Don’t cry.
God please, don’t.”

“This is what’s going to happen,” Kota said, “Sang and North
upstairs. You two stay down here.”

“You can’t do that to her,” Victor said.

“Now.” Kota’s command rang out in the single syllable. There would
be no compromise.

Victor grunted. Before his hands slipped away, I felt something
that later I wondered if it was his lips against my forehead. I would never
know for sure.

My body rattled where I stood. I crossed my arms just under my
breasts, sinking into myself. I couldn’t do this. I should go home. I should
stay there forever. I didn’t deserve them.

Kota hooked his arm under my legs and lifted me off the ground. I pressed
my cheek to his chest, exhausted, confused, scared to death. I hadn’t meant to
be such a blubbering mess but I was still a mush brain after sleeping.

I’d hurt North.

Kota marched me up to his bedroom. I heard North following behind
us. I wanted to jump from Kota and run home. I couldn’t face North. He was so
angry with me for clawing at him. I didn’t even have a good reason. I didn’t
know why I’d done it. I had that dream, he tried waking me and for some reason
I reacted so badly. No one had ever tried to wake me like that before. I didn’t
know where I was or who he was. My explanation was so inexcusable. He would
hate me.

Kota carried me into the bathroom. North flicked on the light.
Kota set me to perch on top of the counter. “Lock the door, North,” he said.

There was a click. I focused my eyes on the chrome towel rack
hanging on wall. I couldn’t face anyone. I sucked in a deep breath, but another
typhoon of shaking swept over me as I sensed their eyes on me and I felt so
tiny and lost and sorry all over again.

“Sang,” Kota said softly. “Stop crying.” He snatched tissues from
a dispenser, bundling them and pressing them at my cheek. “Please, sweetie,
stop crying.”

I swallowed, peeling my lips apart to whisper, “I’m sorry. I
didn’t mean to.”

“I know that,” North said, his tone immensely softer than it had
been downstairs. “Kota, let me have her for a second.”

I didn’t want this. My heart was pounding so loud and it felt like
it was burning. I hiccupped on a sob.

Kota stepped back and in his place came North. North’s strong
hands slipped around my body. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me
in close until I was pressed up against his bare chest. My hands were between
my breasts, wringing against themselves and now crushed between us. My tears
touched his skin.

He dropped a hand on my scalp and his fingers smoothed against my
hair. “Sang Baby,” he said, “I’m not mad, okay? I was upset because there was
something wrong with you and I didn’t know what. You scared me.” His cheek
pressed against the top of my head and I felt the gruffness of his unshaven
face against my forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. I swallowed, and my lips nearly pressed
against his chest with the way he was holding me. My hands instinctively went
around his stomach, my palms pressed against his back to hug him.

He tightened the hug. “I know, Baby. I know. I forgive you. Just
don’t cry, okay?”

I tried to stop, sucking in another bit of air and holding it,
pulling one hand back to wipe at my face.

“What happened?” Kota said softly next to us.

“She was asleep,” North said. “One minute she was breathing and
the next, it’s like she wasn’t. I waited but when I didn’t hear her catch her
breath, I started shaking her to wake her up. I think I scared her.” He pulled
back and brushed the hair out of my face with his rough fingers. “I’m sorry if
I scared you,” he said.

I shook my head, blushing hotly and mumbling but I really wasn’t
sure what to say. He did scare me, and I didn’t care. It simply felt wrong that
he was apologizing for things that weren’t his fault.

“Were you dreaming?”

I blushed more and looked away from them toward the wall. “It’s
nothing,” I said.

I sensed they were exchanging looks. I trembled. North’s rough
finger caught under my chin and lifted my face around until I was looking at
those intense brown eyes. “What did you dream about, Sang?”

My voice cracked while I was talking. “I was, um, dreaming
about... I was in an alley and there were three boys chasing me. I don’t know
who. They grabbed me and took me to a dock by a river and they held me under
the water.” I bit my lip, recalling the angry looks of their faces. “At first I
struggled, trying to get away. I was swallowing water. I was fighting to
breathe and then...”

“Then what?” North asked in a quiet voice.

I wasn’t sure how to express myself here. “And then I just didn’t
have to breathe more. The need was gone.” It was crazy. Being able to breathe
one moment and then knowing for sure that I didn’t need to. In the dream, I was
in the water and I simply was without air, without want of it.

North’s eyes intensified and his finger released me. “Holy shit.”

I closed my eyes, caressing my cheek against his chest. His hand
dropped to the top of my head again, sweeping over my hair.

“Do you get nightmares often, Sang?” Kota asked.

I pushed my palm against my other cheek to hide myself. I didn’t
know how to answer that question without them worrying about me more. How
stupid I felt right then having nightmares the first time I slept over with
them. I didn’t want to lie because they would know.

“How often do you have nightmares?” North asked. His fingers stroked
over my face. He caught my hands and tugged them away so I couldn’t hide
anymore. “Every night?”

I blushed. “Not every single night...”

“But often enough?”

I sighed. “Whenever I dream, I guess. Most of the time.”

He frowned. Kota was, too.

“It’s no big deal,” I said quickly. “I usually just wake myself up
and I don’t even remember later. They’re just dreams.”

“When did you start having nightmares?” Kota asked.

The question caught me off-guard. I blinked, trying to recall. “I
don’t know... nine? Ten? It’s been so long...”

North muttered a series of curses and collected me in his arms
again. He pressed my face to his chest, holding me by the back of the head.
“God damn it, Kota.”

“It’s just dreams,” I said. “Everyone gets nightmares.”

“Not all the time,” North said. “Not like that. God, Sang. You
stopped fucking breathing.”

“She might have been fine,” Kota said calmly. “You don’t know if
she stopped.”

“She was breathing and then she wasn’t. I couldn’t hear her. I
don’t know what else to tell you. Did you see what I had to go through to wake
her up?”

“She was just in a deep sleep.”

“She shouldn’t be getting nightmares like that in the first
place.”

Kota frowned. “We don’t know why...”

“There is no why,” I insisted. I pulled myself away from North and
wiped at my face. “I just get them. It’s no big deal. It happens, I wake up, and
I’m fine.”

“Are you always drowning in them?” Kota asked.

I sighed, flustered and leaned back until my shoulders were
against the mirror. “No.”

“What happens?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m usually running, trying to get away
from something.”

“Someone?”

I shook my head. “Sometimes it’s a person, sometimes it’s a lot of
people, sometimes it’s a monster or a dragon or zombies or just something I
can’t see. They shoot at me. Or they try running me over. It’s just crazy,
messed up dreams.” I was feeling frustrated. What was the big deal? I hated
that they worried about me already and here was something that I couldn't help
and they couldn’t help either and they were making the biggest thing out of it.
I’d hurt North and that was what the bad part was.