The Accidental Courtesan (40 page)

If that were the case, she'd learn little during this particular journey. The trip from London had been without interest to a potential gossip. The trip back would be similar. Noelle had no intention of doing anything scandalous with the maid sitting across the way.

Gavin had other ideas. She felt his hand slide from hers and move stealthily to her thigh. Noelle shot the maid a second glance while closing her fingers tightly over his hand to stop him from mischief. Gavin grinned wickedly.

“You must keep your hands to yourself,” Noelle whispered, and felt a bubble of laughter rise up. He was completely shameless. “We have an audience.”

“Not for long.” He didn't have to explain as the coach turned off the road and stopped before an inn set against a small copse of trees. The building was an unimpressive twostory structure with a thatched roof and had the look of general neglect. Still, it appeared to be sturdy.

They hadn't traveled more than a mile or two. The maid popped upright when the coach stopped, her face puzzled.

Gavin said, “We have traveled many miles in a short span, and I am tired. If we sleep here tonight, we can resume our journey tomorrow, refreshed.”

Noelle knew fatigue wasn't the true reason for the stop. Gavin wasn't looking at her with sleep in his eyes. Truthfully, she didn't care what his intentions were. She was exhausted. The trip had been very draining. A meal and a bed would both be welcome.

“Will you excuse us?” Gavin asked the maid, and she quickly exited the coach. Once the door was closed, he grinned again. “I have instructed the coachman to ask for the rooms: one for the maid, one for the coachman, and one for us to share. There will be a fourth, for appearances, of course. If you have a problem with the arrangement, speak up, for I intend to spend the hours between now and dawn taking full and complete advantage of that lovely body of yours.”

A flash of desire tingled through Noelle. She knew very well that she should protest, loudly. Or share a space with Dory, as it was her reputation he risked. Yet, she couldn't. The idea of spending a full night with Gavin, without the fear of discovery by sister or servant, was deliriously appealing. And Dory could think what she wanted. Noelle no longer cared.

So she slid her hand down to cup his arousal and leaned close to press her breasts against him. Her nipples tightened in anticipation of his heated mouth.

“The coachman had better hurry.” She pressed a kiss on the side of his jaw. “For if you do not have me naked in the next ten minutes, I shall be terribly put out.”

It took seven, and Noelle was quite pleased.

 

N
oelle awoke to a rooster's predawn crow and cursed the bird for his lack of a decent clock. Gavin had loved her, and taken her, and shown her a full collection of skills, including several positions one could twist into for optimal pleasure. Noelle didn't think she could find enjoyment in lovemaking with her ankles near her ears, or on her hands and knees. She was wrong.

“What time is it?” Gavin said sleepily, and reached to pull her close. Noelle snuggled to his side.

“There is no clock.” She looked out the window and saw the slightest hint of daylight breaking the blackened sky. She pressed kisses on his bare chest. “We have an hour or two before we should consider getting out of bed.”

She licked his nipple and rose to straddle his hips. His erection pressed her core. He reached to twist his hands in her tangled hair and attempted to pull her down for a kiss, but Noelle had other ideas. She smiled seductively, guided the tip of his cock inside her, and then swiftly impaled herself with a blissful moan.

Gavin groaned and lifted his hips. Noelle leaned to tease him with her mouth, flicking his tongue with hers. She slid up and down him, letting her pleasure build, assured by the hunger in his face that he was equally engaged. They rocked together, hurrying toward their pleasure, until they gasped and plummeted headlong into release.

Exhausted and satisfied, Noelle collapsed on his chest.

Gavin ran a hand down her hair and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. Noelle nuzzled his throat. She loved him so much, it frightened her. The protective barrier around her heart had no longer completely shut out the idea of marriage. Then she'd seen the earl and his countess as another example of why marriage wasn't a grand idea, and she'd pulled back again.

It would be simpler to be Gavin's lover without having to worry that someday he'd betray their marriage vows and disappoint her. And she enjoyed being his lover very much. Maybe too much.

Gavin played with her hair. “Marry me,” he murmured.

Startled, Noelle lifted her head. “What?”

“Marry me.” Gavin smiled and brushed the strands of hair out of her eyes. “I want you to marry me and bear my children. I want you to spend the rest of your life both engaging and exasperating me.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I love you, Noelle. I don't want to spend another day without you.”

Shocked, all she could do was stare dumbly. It took a moment to fully grasp what he was saying. He loved her? When had that happened? She hadn't suspected or expected he'd fall in love with her. Panic welled. “I thought we both agreed marriage wasn't what we wanted? Now you want to change the rules?”

Inside herself she knew this wasn't what Gavin wanted to hear from her. Unfortunately, the words just tumbled out.

Gavin pushed her gently off him. He came to his knees. Noelle rose and settled onto her bum. She wanted to reach for him, to tell him she wanted very much to marry him, but the proposal had come as such a surprise, she couldn't think clearly. The unhappy confrontation between the earl and his betrayed countess was still fresh and raw.

“Rules can be changed, Noelle,” he said tightly, his body visibly tense. “Do you love me?”

She wanted to tell him how deeply she loved him, how fully he'd captured her mind and heart, but all she could do was nod. At the moment, it was impossible to explain the contradictory thoughts running through her head.

“Then we will marry as soon as the arrangements are made.” He grinned and reached for her.

With a quick maneuver she moved out of reach. She slid back on the bed and held up her hands. “Please don't. You must give me time to consider your proposal, Gavin.”

Noelle knew she was on the edge of ruining what they had and forcing him out of her life forever. However, she couldn't instantly change everything she'd ever believed and wanted for herself and her future just because she enjoyed his company and had grown to love him. Love alone did not a successful marriage make. He could break her heart. In all likelihood, he
would
break her heart.

What did she really know about him? She'd known him only a couple of weeks. Would they be compatible in marriage? Could he forgo mistresses and only love her? On which side of the bed did he prefer to sleep? How did he like his tea? She felt a rising flush of panic.

Tension crackled in the room. “I never planned to wed,” she said softly. “You felt the same. This is an unexpected change. We must take time to think with clear minds.”

Disconcerted to be having this discussion naked, she stepped off the bed and reached for her chemise. Oddly, she was unable to meet his eyes.

“I see.” There was an underlying current in his voice that left her feeling he didn't understand at all. Then, “This is about Bliss and Charles, and all men who take mistresses and hurt their wives. You think I could turn into your father all over again.”

Noelle's stomach tightened. “No.” Yes.

“That's exactly what this is about.” Gavin rolled from the bed and rummaged in a heap of clothing on the floor for his shirt. He shoved his arms into the sleeves, then reached for his breeches. “I cannot take away your unhappy childhood, nor can I do anything more than promise to love you and be faithful to you for the rest of my days. Beyond that, you have to trust me.”

There was such bitterness in his voice that Noelle winced. She knew how he'd been hurt in the past by his unfaithful fiancée, but Gavin had chosen to give Noelle his heart anyway. And she'd rebuffed him quite cruelly by actions, if not words.

Desperate to make amends, she walked over to where he stood, his back to her, and placed her hands on his shoulders.

“Gavin, please.” She pressed her cheek against his spine. “I do love you. I have for some time now. But this has nothing to do with love. I'm afraid.”

He turned and took her arms. “That is something I cannot help you with, Noelle. You've had years to formulate the notion that all men are cads in expensive clothing, waiting to ruin their marriages.” He briefly closed his eyes, then looked down at her. “You will have your time to decide. Just know I will not wait forever, nor will I marry a woman who spends our marriage anticipating the day when I'll be unfaithful, just to prove she was right. I'll not live that way, and neither should you.”

Gavin released her arms and finished dressing. Once his cravat was knotted to his satisfaction, he silently helped her into her gown. There was nothing further to say.

By the time the sun rose and he called for the coach, the strain between them was intense. Noelle had to blink to keep from tears. The remainder of the journey to London was without the affection they'd shared before the proposal. He didn't speak unless the situation warranted it, and she had no words he wanted to hear.

Once he dropped her at Collingwood House and into her sister's hands, he left her with nothing more than a curt nod to sustain her. No last affectionate glance, no kiss on the hand. As the coach rolled away with the finality of clopping hooves, Noelle burst into tears and raced up the stairs to her room.

 

S
he won't eat, she won't bathe, and I haven't seen a smile since before she left for Bath.” Eva met Nicholas's eyes and worked her bottom lip between her teeth. “All I know is that the case is closed and the countess banished to some obscure Scottish castle. Otherwise, she will not offer me a single clue to why she is so unhappy.”

“You must not worry so, dearest. It isn't good for you or the baby.” Nicholas moved to take her hands. “I have learned that your sister received a proposal of marriage that she promptly rejected. I believe that is the reason she's moping about, and not some unnamed mistreatment.”

Eva stilled. She probed his stare. “And where did you discover this news, husband?”

He lifted her hands to his mouth. “You cannot be privy to all my secrets, my dear wife. Let's just say I made a visit to a certain gentleman and discovered your sister was not in any way abused. Her unhappiness is all her doing.”

This explained much. Every time Eva cursed the misbehaving American, Noelle was quick to leap to his defense, an odd turn when the man was the cause of her distress.

“Have I ever told you what a darling you are?” Eva glanced out the open parlor door and a slow smile crossed her face. She turned back and pressed a kiss on Nicholas's mouth. “My stubborn sister has been shut up in her room for far too long. Now, with your help, I have what I need to shake her from her melancholia.”

 

N
oelle jerked upright on the bed when her bedroom door banged open against the wall, shaking the panel on its hinges. Her formidable sister came over to the bed and glared down at her. Noelle winced.

“Get up.” Eva jerked the coverlet to the bottom of the bed, and a flush of cool air skimmed over Noelle's skin. “It is well past two, and far past the time for coddling.” She walked to the window and pushed open the drapes. Light flooded into the room. “I have never heard of a woman taking to her bed over a proposal of marriage by a man she loves. Of all things!”

Noelle grimaced. Her secret was out. Somehow Eva had discovered the truth and wasn't pleased. Her tight face and impatient manner showed that Eva was on Gavin's side.

“You don't understand.”

“Oh, I do quite well.” Eva moved a few steps closer. “I was you a year ago. I worried how every choice I made in my life would affect, and possibly hurt, my mother. But you know that. I wasn't about to let Nicholas, and my love for him, open up our lives to scrutiny and further destroy her fragile mind.” Eva walked to the wardrobe, flung open the doors, and rifled through the gowns. She found a green frock and threw it on the bed. Stockings followed, with an array of other items, until there was a pile on the mattress near Noelle's feet.

“You have nothing to hold you back from love but your mother's misery.” Eva returned to Noelle. “Do you ever wonder why your mother is so unhappy? Do you ever remember a time, well before my mother met Father, when she was a happy, loving wife?” Noelle shook her head. “Did she ever exchange loving glances with Father? Did she ever laugh at his jests or caress his hand when she thought no one was looking?”

Not ever. Noelle shook her head again and slid up to position herself against the pillows.

“Now that she is free of him, does she laugh or dance or flirt with men, just for the enjoyment of doing so?” Eva didn't wait for another head shake. She wagged her finger. “Your mother lives to be miserable and to provoke misery in others. Had she made any sort of effort in her marriage, she could have been happy. I know Father loved her when they wed.”

Taken off guard by the revelation, Noelle gaped. “Who told you he loved my mother?”

“I overheard a conversation once between him and Mother.” Eva sat down on the bed and fluffed out her skirts. “Your mother was a great beauty, and he was smitten, so much so that he didn't see the unhappiness inside her until after their vows were spoken. It was during an argument on their honeymoon trip when he learned she'd loved a man her father disapproved of, and his suit was rebuffed. She did not want to marry Father, but Grandfather arranged the match against her wishes. In spite of this confession, Papa tried everything to please her, to earn her affection. And as you know, it came to naught.”