The Alchemy of Desire (17 page)

“Oni, what did they want from you?”

“Cager, this isn’t the time for interrogation.”

She blinked like she was staring into the sun rather than sitting in the dark room. “I wouldn’t tell them. But they kept…” Her eyes grew wide and she gasped. “It burned.”

He glared at his brother for making her relive those memories so soon.

“She’ll be fine in the morning.” Cager peeked out the door. “If we’re going to get her out of here, I’m going to need to bring the horses here. I doubt she’ll be able to walk, and it’ll draw some strange glances if you carry her across the fort.” He slipped out into the night.

Diah ran his hand over her silky hair as she clung to him. “It’ll be all right. We’ll get you away from this place and they’ll never hurt you again.”

“How can you be so sure?” Her voice sounded like she was drugged or still half asleep.

He didn’t have an answer for her, so he held on to her even tighter. The silence continued until Cager reappeared.

“I have two horses outside.” He picked up the pack and checked outside. “It’s clear. Let her ride with you and let’s pray no one catches us.”

He lifted her, but she grabbed his brother’s arm. “My wand. They took it, and…”

Cager placed his hand over hers. “Who has it?”

“Jenkins, in the house.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it.”

She reached into her pouch and pulled out a small vial. “Take this. May need it.” Her eyes closed as if that little bit of conversation exhausted her.

Doubt nagged at him, eating away his fear and replacing it with jealousy. Why did she seek Cager’s help and not his? “Why can’t we just leave it and get her another one later?”

Cager caught the vial before it slipped from her fingers. “You wouldn’t understand. You’re not a Wielder. Just get her out of here and I’ll meet you where we left our stuff.”

“What are you going to do?”

He flashed his most reckless grin. “Get her wand back.”

Before Diah could argue, his brother ran toward the house. This was ridiculous. It was only a wand, after all. She could always have another one made. It’s not like she was a skilled Wielder anyway.

“Cager’s going to be the death of me,” he muttered as he snuck out of the building. The horses were just outside and he lifted her into the saddle. She slumped forward and he scrambled to keep her from falling. “No wonder he was so eager to leave.”

“Sorry, just so…”

He mounted in front of her and her head rested against his back. “I’m sorry, Oni. I’m just worried.”

“He’ll be fine.”

“If you say so.” The words did little to comfort him, but he had to trust that his brother knew what he was doing.

She gripped his waist. “Trust him.”

“I’m going to have to.” He cast one more glance back at the house. Cager was nowhere to been seen, and Diah was pressing his luck by lingering. “Let’s get you out of here.”

He nudged the horse forward and came out of the shadows. The center of the fort appeared mostly empty. As long as he didn’t attract too much attention, he could slip out. He was barely outside the main gates when a flash of light illuminated the night. Everyone in the fort turned to see where it came from, and he could see the faint outline of a man running right before the lone house burst into flames. The smell of sulfur filled the air.

The fort erupted in confusion and Diah used the distraction to get as far away as he could. Oni flopped against him like a rag doll, her head bobbing with each stride of the horse. He reached the place where they left their bags, and hopped off the horse. He needed to act quickly.

Another rider came up behind him and he drew his rifle.

“Put that down, Diah,” a familiar voice said. “It’s me.”

“Thank God you’re all right.” He watched Cager jump down before the horse stopped and throw his bags over the other one. “I saw the explosion and—”

“Yeah, I almost forgot how useful black fire can be. I don’t think Jenkins liked it much. If he survived, that is.”

He paused from transferring Oni down from one saddle to the other. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say I carried out the revenge for her. He’ll know what it’s like to truly burn.”

“Cager—”

“Don’t go all noble on me, Diah. You have no idea what he did to her. He deserved it, and if you’d been in my shoes, you probably would have done worse.” Something flashed in his hand. “At least I was able to get her wand back.”

“You still need to explain to me why you felt compelled to retrieve that.”

“I owed her that much.”

Voices filtered in from the direction of the fort. They needed to get moving. He jostled Oni until she moaned. “Where do we need to go?”

She lifted her head. “South. Caves in the bluff.” Then she slumped over again.

Cager’s horse pranced with nervous energy, no doubt sensing their urgency. He struggled to rein him in while Diah mounted. “You heard the woman. This way.”

The rain poured down, soaking every fiber of their clothing before they found the caves she spoke of. Diah shivered as he eased her down from the horse and carried her into a cave. She didn’t stir as he laid her down and went to retrieve the rest of their stuff. When he returned, he saw his brother leaning over her. “What are you doing?”

“Relax,” Cager said with a wave of his hand. “I was just checking on her.” He stood and moved to the other side of the small cave. “She just needs to sleep it off.”

He dropped the pack along the wall. “I wonder if we should build a fire.”

“I’d doubt they’d see it, even if they’re stupid enough to chase us in this weather. My question is where are we going to find dry wood to burn?”

“I thought I saw something in the corner there.”

Cager went to investigate while he searched the bag for something to change into. Oni’s pack was the only that seemed to be impervious to water, and thankfully had kept the clothes she’d purchased earlier dry. He held up the shirts and trousers and prayed there would something that fit him.

“It looks like cow patties and twigs.”

“Will they burn, though?”

Cager carried an armload and dropped it in the center of the cave. “Let’s hope so.” He pulled out a steel and flint and began trying to light the pile.

Diah grabbed what he thought were his clothes and stripped out of the wet wool uniform. It seemed to be glued to his skin, but once he got out of it, the cold air assaulted his naked flesh. He hurried to put on the new clothes. They fit as well as anything he had back home, even though the pants were a little loose around the waist.

He turned to Oni and thought he saw a smile on her face. It was an improvement over the grimaces from earlier.

The fire ignited and Cager fed it some more of the twigs. “Is there something in there for me?”

He tossed the pack to him. “Help yourself.”

Diah poked a stick into the fire and stared into the flames. “I’m glad no one got shot this time.”

Cager gave a short laugh. “Yeah, me too.”

“Why did you risk your life for that wand?”

“I told you, it’s a Wielder thing.” He held his hands out in front of the fire to warm them.

“Are you always going to be this vague with me?”

“Fine.” He sighed and leaned back against the cave wall. “Wielders become very attached to their wands, almost to the point that they can’t cast magic on any other wand. Oni’s wand had been in her family for years. She couldn’t leave it behind.”

“And how did you determine that from those few words she told you?”

“Like I said, it’s a Wielder thing.”

Jealousy crept over him like a sinister shadow. Why was there something that Cager knew about her that he didn’t? And why did she trust him to retrieve her wand?

She made a noise in her sleep and rolled over on her side.

Cager crawled over to her and covered her with one of the hides. He laid his wand against it, and the blanket glowed red for a brief second. “She’s stronger than I gave her credit for, Diah. Or to be more accurate, maybe more stubborn.”

He itched to shove him away from her, but he saw the smile return to her face. “What do you mean?”

“The choler spell is, for the lack of a better word, one of the cruelest spells a Wielder can use. I learned it at the beginning of the war. Most people I used it on told me what I wanted to know rather quickly. If the guard was right and she didn’t tell Hinkle anything, then she must have found some way to resist it, especially considering that Jenkins used her own wand against her.”

“And that makes a difference?”

He looked up. “Oh, yes, it does. Your wand becomes like an extension of yourself. The longer you use it, the more a part of you it is. Oni’s had her wand since she was a child. To have someone use it against you is like having a family member stab you in the back. It makes the pain that much more intense, like a betrayal of sorts.”

A red lens clouded Diah’s vision when he thought about what Jenkins had done to her. “I’m glad you set him on fire, then.”

Chapter Nineteen

Oni awoke to the sound of geese honking.
Where am I?

Memories from the day before flooded her mind and she bolted up. Her heart pounded as she remembered standing in front of Hinkle and Jenkins followed by the sensation of her flesh melting away.
Please don’t let me have told them anything.

She wrapped the buffalo hide around her to ward off the early-morning chill. Tendrils of fog rolled in from the opening of the cave. The embers of a fire glowed a few feet from her, but as far as she could tell, she was alone.
How did I get here?
For a moment, she feared she’d shifted and sought shelter here while she was still in her coyote form, but as she thought about it, the familiar call tugged at her. It had been almost a week since she’d last shifted and the urge was stronger than ever.

Boots crunched the gravel outside and she tensed.
Don’t be Hinkle.

“Oni, are you up yet?” Diah’s face appeared through the fog. Worry furrowed his brow. “How are you feeling this morning?” He knelt next to her and rubbed his hand over the back of her head.

“A little confused. What happened last night? Where are we?”

“I’ll explain later. We need to get moving before Hinkle picks up our trail.”

She nodded and allowed him to pull her to her feet. The last thing she wanted to do was run into that man again. She checked her belt and found the last vial of black fire in her pouch, but her dagger was gone. Fear choked her when she remembered that Jenkins had taken it and used it against her.

“Looking for this?”

She turned to see Cager behind her, dangling her wand in front of him. “You got it for me?” She held her hand out.

He grinned. “You asked me to retrieve it and I couldn’t deny you your request.” The sheathed blade touched her palm, but he didn’t release the hilt immediately. “I knew how much you wanted it.”

Diah cleared his throat in a way that almost sounded like a growl. He scowled as he grabbed two of the bags. “Stop the dillydallying and let’s get a move on.”

Cager tightened his grip on the dagger. “Don’t mind him. He’s been in a foul mood since I told him there are things between you and me he’d never understand because he isn’t a Wielder.”

“There’s nothing between us, Cager, and you know it. Quit trying to upset your brother.” She dug her nails into his fingers to pry them off her wand.

He laughed and relinquished his grip. “Why should you care? After all, when everything is said and done, you’ll go your way and he’ll go his. I’m just trying to keep him from falling any harder for you than he has already so I don’t have to listen to him whine all the way home.”

“How would you like to be castrated?” She drew the dagger and pointed the blade at his groin.

“There would be a lot of disappointed women out there if you did that.” He backed away. “What I’m dying to know is why Diah? Why not me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You could have your fling with me and neither of us would be heartbroken when it ended. Diah, on the other hand, is a more sensitive soul. Why are you playing games with him and setting him up to be hurt?”

Cager’s words hit her like a punch in the gut. Would Diah really miss her? “Are you asking this because you’re jealous or because you actually care about your brother’s happiness?”

“Maybe a bit of both.”

How could she explain it without resorting to those silly, nonsensical notions like “love at first sight”? Because it wasn’t that way. She hadn’t fallen in love with him immediately. He’d grown on her with each passing day, each conversation, each gentle touch and kind gesture. “He treats me like I’m the most precious thing on earth.”

Cager didn’t seem impressed with her answer, but it was none of his business how she felt about Diah anyway. She reattached the dagger to her belt and left the cave.

Diah was securing the bags to the saddles. “Finish your little conversation?”

“In more than one way.”

Jealousy flashed in his eyes. Did he seriously think she’d prefer Cager to him? But he resumed preparations and said nothing when his brother joined them. His silence stretched through the day.

As they rode, questions churned in Oni’s stomach like spoiled meat. Would she just end up hurting Diah? Stars above, she never meant to hurt him, not after he’d been so kind to her. She couldn’t deny she wanted to be with him; but how long could that last? He was who he was, with his obligations to his family back home. And she was who she was—a half-breed freak of nature who had the tendency to sprout fur and howl at the moon.

When they stopped to make camp for the night, the clouds parted to reveal the tiny sliver of the moon. The call hit her then with an intensity of a steam locomotive and almost knocked her to her feet. It took every ounce of her strength to keep it under control. Despite the icy chill in the air, sweat beaded on her forehead. She had to get out here before they saw her.

“Oni, are you feeling ill?”

Her breath came in pants and she couldn’t answer Diah’s question. If she opened her mouth, there was a good chance a bark or a growl would emerge. She shook her head and stumbled off to the hills. There had to be a place where she could shift without them seeing her.

She looked over her shoulder and held her breath. No one behind her. As she exhaled, her body shrank and she allowed her mind to surrender to the spirit of the coyote.

The scents of the night assaulted her nose. Her ears flickered to the sound of claws scraping the dirt. A prairie dog. Her empty stomach growled and she ran in pursuit of the prey. It was an easy catch, with her hunger driving her actions and forcing all other concerns out of her mind. She dug at his den and snapped up the plump rodent. Then she feasted.

The prairie dog was almost completely devoured by the time she heard the rustle nearby. She froze.

“Oni,” a voice called.

She dove into the brush, leaving the unfinished portion of her meal behind. Her gaze traveled up a large man walking through the grass with red hair that glowed like fire under the moonlight. His rifle jutted out a couple of feet in front of him, ready to aim and fire should he need to do so.

“Oni,” Diah called again.

The reality of her situation closed in around her. Why couldn’t he just trust her to take care of herself? She had gotten along just fine without him for the last twenty-six years. He didn’t need to be roaming around by himself, calling her name and giving away their position to Hinkle.

She crept away from him so she could shift back to a human and convince him to return to the camp. She was so busy watching him that she didn’t see the brambles to her side. One of the thorns pierced her paw and she yelped.

He spun around and aimed the rifle at her.

She cringed and waited for the sting of the bullet. But none came. She opened her eyes and saw him staring at her. Her pulse raced. Could he see her for what she was?

Neither one of them moved for several agonizing seconds. Then Diah lowered the rifle and approached. She backed away, putting pressure on her injured paw without realizing it. The thorn buried itself further in the pad. She yelped again and took her gaze off him to dig it out with her teeth.

“Are you hurt?” He came closer and knelt in front of her.

She snarled at him and he jerked away. If he touched her, she was terrified she would turn back into a human and curl up next to him. She waited until he gave her enough space before she resumed the thorn removal. Even after she pried it out, the area around the puncture still throbbed, and she limped away.

She felt his eyes on her until she was out of his sight.

The farther she got, the less it hurt, and she circled her way back to the camp. Under the concealment of night, she regretfully shifted back into her human form. Time to deal with more of her uncertainties. Time to face Diah and decide what she should do with him.

Fear squeezed Diah’s heart like a vise. He’d been searching for Oni for an hour but found no trace of her. She’d run away as soon as they stopped. She hadn’t bothered to tell either of them what she was doing or where she was going. He knew he shouldn’t continue to harbor suspicions, especially after seeing what Hinkle had done to her yesterday. But the feeling that she was hiding something continued to gnaw away at the edge of his mind.

What if this was all a ruse to get him to go hunt for her so she could be alone with his brother? After all, there were things about her only another Wielder could understand and he knew Cager well enough to know he’d take advantage of that.

Bitterness filled his mouth and he ran back to the camp as fast as his legs could carry him. As the light from the fire grew brighter, he could see two shadows standing in front of it. Only a few inches separated them, and the taller of the two held the other’s shoulders, almost like an embrace. The wind muffled their voices, but he could tell they were in the middle of a conversation. He slowed down so he could sneak up on them and catch them together.

“Cager, don’t tell me what to do. I’m my own woman and I belong to no one.”

“Oni, it doesn’t make sense for you to be out there by yourself.”

One of the horses whinnied and she ended the conversation with a slash of her hand. Her amber eyes searched the darkness, glowing like an animal’s for a brief second as the light hit them at the right angle. “There’s someone out there.”

Cager drew his wand and pushed her behind him to shield her from the unseen attacker. “We know you’re there, so come out and stop hiding.”

Damn it.
So much for confirming his suspicions. But he had been right that she’d returned to the camp and had been alone with his brother. “It’s just me.”

Cager lowered the wand. “Don’t sneak up on us like that, little brother.”

“Maybe I wanted to.” The heat of his anger rolled off of him. “Sorry to interrupt you two. I’m glad you found her.”

“She actually wandered back here about ten minutes ago. I was trying to tell her it would be stupid for her to go back out there and look for you.”

“Yes, I could see you wanted to keep her here with you.”

Cager frowned. “What has gotten into you?”

He sat by the fire and kept silent, his eyes focused on the dancing flames.

“Diah, why are you acting this way?” Oni’s steps were slow and cautious, much like how he’d approached that injured coyote earlier tonight. Perhaps he should growl at her so she would stay away from him.

“Just let me rest, Oni. I’ve just spent over an hour out there in the cold dark searching for you because you decided to run off once again without telling us where you were going.”

She sank to her knees in a graceful motion and tucked her skirt under her legs. “Sometimes I need to be alone to sort things out.”

“Well, maybe you should remember that we have people hunting us, and the last time you went somewhere without us, you got yourself captured and tortured. Maybe we won’t be able to save you next time.”

Some of the color drained from her face, and a mask of fear covered her features. Damn, he didn’t mean to remind her of that. Why did he always go about things the wrong way, especially when it came to women?

“That’s what I was trying to tell her,” Cager added from across the fire.

“I’m sorry if I’m causing you any trouble,” she said in a flat voice.

“Just let him simmer, Oni. You’ll be done with him and his foul temper soon enough.”

“Shut up, Cager,” he said, but it was too late. She’d already retreated to a spot halfway between them and wrapped the buffalo hide around her. Damn, he forgot he had to share it with her. He looked across at his brother. No, he wasn’t desperate enough to cuddle with him. He would have to apologize to her, but not just yet.

No one said anything else, which suited him fine. He didn’t want to listen to their small talk. Cager was right—she’d be free of them soon enough and he’d be free of her. It would take a while to get her out of his system, but he could do it. His eyes slid to her. There was nothing particularly special about her, right?

Cager lay down, but she watched him with her glittering eyes, sitting perfectly still like some animal hiding in the bushes, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. A snort followed by a moan told him his brother was asleep. And then she spoke.

“Aren’t you cold?”

“No,” he lied, and a shivered rippled down his spine to betray him.

“Are you really this stubborn?” She held out one end of the hide to him.

He was either going to freeze or have to sit next to her. He wondered if he could continue his alchemy with stubs left for fingers, because he was courting frostbite. “I’m just trying to keep my head clear.”

“Why do you think I’d suddenly fall for Cager?”

Damn it, he hated how she could read him like a book. No wonder she knew how to get under his skin and slowly drive him insane. “He’s a Wielder, like you.”

“So? He’s not you.” The wind blew through the camp, fanning the fire and bringing a chill to their skins. She withdrew her offer of the hide to protect herself from the dropping temperatures.

“Is this some kind of trick, Oni? Something to tease me with so you two can have a good laugh behind my back later?”

Her bottom lip protruded. “I see you’re going to continue to believe what you will.” She wrapped the hide closer around her. “Should I tell you a story?”

“I don’t care.”

“There was a white man who was such a sharp trader that nobody ever got the better of him. Or so people said, until one day a Lakota man told the
wasichu,
‘There’s somebody who can out-cheat you anytime, anywhere.’

“‘That’s not possible,’ said the
wasichu.
But the Lakota man insisted that Coyote could beat him in any deal. The
wasichu
trader went over to Coyote and challenged him.

“‘I’m sorry,’ said Coyote, ‘I’d like to help you out, but I can’t do it without my cheating medicine.’

“The
wasichu
told him to get the cheating medicine, but Coyote replied, ‘I live miles from here and I’m on foot. But if you’d lend me your fastest horse, I can be back within the hour.’