The Alchemy of Desire (19 page)

He grinned and gave her the rifle. “That’s the spirit. I need you to heat up the propeller on the back of the airship and melt it.”

“That sounds dangerous.” Diah stepped between them. “Why can’t you do it?”

“Because I’m air, not fire. She’s the best one for this task. Besides, she’s already proven she’s a better shot than the both of us.” He attached the scope to the rifle-wand. “Just aim at the propeller and focus your energy into heating the metal. Picture it melting.” He raised the butt up to her shoulder and pointed it at the airship.

Oni thought about what he said. Could she do it?

As if he read her mind, Cager wrapped his hands around her and whispered in her ear. “I trust you, Oni. Now cast.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Diah’s scowl. He probably was on the verge of another jealous rage. “I’ll cast better if I have some space.”

“As you wish, ma’am.” He backed away and Diah’s face relaxed.

She peered through the scope, trying to line a clean shot through the branches. They’d catch on fire if she cast the spell where she was, so she stepped out of the ravine. She centered the front sight over the propeller. She’d only have one chance at this. If she missed, she’d give away their position to the enemy.

“What are you waiting for, Oni?” Cager asked.

“I want to make sure I have the perfect shot.”

The entire airship now hovered overhead, giving her the clear shot she wanted. She took a deep breath and pictured a flame in her mind. Her blood warmed as the magic rushed through her arms and into the wand. It slowly welled up, waiting for her to release it. She exhaled and fired the spell.

Chapter Twenty-One

Dear God, please don’t let them see her.
Diah held his breath when she closed her eyes. The glowing wand pulsated with her magic energy. He glanced at Cager, who nodded in approval and drew his other wand. The wand never glowed like that when his brother used it. Then he realized why Cager wanted her to cast the spell. It was more than just her element being fire. She was a stronger Wielder than Cager was.

She released the spell from the wand and the rifle recoiled just like a normal one. The propeller came to a halting stop as the metal heated and melted over the gears. Diah wanted to cheer, but another explosion drew his attention. They had been spotted and the cannon near the stern fired. A cannonball flew straight toward them.

A smile played on Oni’s lips and he knew she didn’t see it coming for her. He called out her name and ran toward her. His pulse pounded.
Please don’t let me lose her,
he thought as he closed the distance between them. His arms wrapped around her. His body covered hers as they hit the ground. He heard the blast behind him and his back burned. It was Chickamauga all over again.

“Diah!” Cager screamed.

His skin felt like it was being torn from his body, but underneath his chest, Oni moved. As much pain as he was in, knowing she was alive comforted him.

She rolled him on his back. His ribs snapped and he could have sworn something stabbed him. “Cager, come help me with him.” Her amber eyes filled with tears as she leaned over him and reached for her wand.

“In a moment.”

Diah’s lungs could no longer hold his breath. Oni’s face swam in front of him. He reached up to touch her. She took his hand and brought it to her cheek. It felt wet and he realized she was crying. He tried to tell her to stop, but he choked on the blood that came up to his lips.

The wind picked up around them, growing in intensity. He remembered the hurricane that had come on shore when he was a child. The winds had felt like this.

She lifted him in her arms and shielded him from the debris. Her heart pounded in his ear, and her fingers caressed his face and ran through his hair when the storm reached its peak.

“Cager, he’s dying.”

If his brother responded, he didn’t hear it. He was more focused on what she’d said. Dying? Could it be possible to cheat death too many times? If this was the way he was going to leave this world, he was glad she was at his side.

The winds died down and he heard his brother’s voice. “Let me have a look at him.”

She loosened her hold and a pair of hands pressed against his back. The pain flared, and a scream worked its way from his mouth, followed by more blood.

“He’s got a punctured lung, Oni.”

“Then heal him.”

“I can’t.” Cager’s voice shook. “I’m not that strong a Wielder, and that windstorm completely drained me. If I’d known how serious his injuries were…”

“But I’m not a trained healer.”

Diah stared at her face.
Dear God, she’s sobbing.
Sobbing over him. Maybe she really did have feelings for him.

“You can—you have to, Oni. You’re the only one who can save his life. Remember what I taught you. Focus, layer by layer.”

The conversation faded and his vision blurred. Sweet Jesus, he was going to die in her arms while they discussed how to heal him.

Something cool and metallic pressed against his back, and her hand moved to his forehead. His body stiffened as the magic seared through it. He wanted to scream again, but over the pain he felt a different sensation, like the warmth of a lover’s embrace. The pain faded and he could have sworn he heard her voice in his mind. “
Please hold on. I can’t lose you, Diah.”

His pulse slowed and he put his trust in her. She cared about him. He felt like he could suffer a hundred punctured lungs so long as he knew that.

In his mind, a connection formed with her. No other words were spoken, but in those few seconds, he knew her fear and another emotion that surprised him—love.

She jerked away from his consciousness as soon as he discovered this and he felt as though he were plummeting down a bottomless chasm. He flung his arms out to catch something and slow his body. His fingers wrapped around what felt like a sturdy branch and he hung on to it for dear life. He opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was the pain in her face. Then her eyes rolled and she slumped against him.

“What are you trying to do, Diah?” Cager asked as he caught her. “Break her arm?”

He looked down and saw that he was gripping her arm so hard, her flesh paled beneath his hand. He released his fingers and inhaled. The air rushed into his lungs, and the injury became a distant memory. She’d healed him. But more importantly, she loved him.

“Diah, quit grinning like a damn idiot and help me with her. I barely have the strength to keep her upright. She’s out cold.”

He took her and stroked her cheek. She sighed in her sleep.

“What’s wrong with her?” He checked her arms and legs for any injuries.

Cager leaned back on his elbows. “The same thing as me. We’ve both used more magic than we’re used to. That windstorm wasn’t a simple breeze and you probably have no idea how badly injured you were, Diah.” He pushed himself off the ground. “Let’s get out of here before they come looking for us.”

Diah carried her to the horse and put her in the saddle. He looked back at his brother. It took Cager three attempts before he mounted his horse. For once, Diah was glad to be an alchemist instead of a Wielder.

“Are you better?” she whispered. The fatigue evidenced itself in every bit of her being, from her heavy eyelids to the sag of her shoulders.

“I’ve never felt better. Are you well enough to ride?”

She gave him a half smile. “I just need a nap, that’s all.”

He climbed into the saddle in front of her. Her arms wrapped about his waist and her breasts pressed against the area of his back that had burned in agony a few minutes before. Now a new heat flooded his body, and he didn’t know how much longer he could contain his desire for her.

He scanned the horizon as they rode out of the ravine and weaved their way through the hills, but he didn’t see the airship. “What happened to O’Kerry?”

“I hope I blew him halfway back to Chicago. Oni destroyed their propulsion system, so there’s no way they can overcome the winds. Still, I want to keep moving, just in case they figure out a way to fix it and come after us again.”

Diah chuckled. “I have to admit, that was a clever idea.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you. That’s why I had Oni cast her spell to melt the propeller. First, because her element is fire. And second, because I needed all the magic I could gather to summon a decent-sized storm.”

“I’m just glad she wasn’t killed by that last cannonball.”

She tightened her grip on him and leaned her forehead against the back of his neck as if to confirm she was alive and well.

“Yeah, you chivalrous idiot. Save her life and nearly lose your own in the process.”

“We each have our priorities.” And from now on, she would be his first priority.

The sky glowed orange by the time Cager declared they’d traveled far enough. They stopped by a small creek, where Diah wrapped Oni in the buffalo hide and let her sleep while he set up the camp. His brother collapsed in front of the fire as soon as he got it going, and Diah handed him some dried meat. “I know it’s not much—”

“No, please, I’m too tired to wait for you to cook something. I’m going straight to bed. You could probably have her screaming in pleasure and I’d sleep through it.”

Heat rose into his cheeks. “Will you please quit insinuating that I would be so crude as to make love to her in the middle of nowhere with you a few feet away.”

“Listen, I don’t care what you do with her anymore. I’ve tried my best to talk sense into the two of you, but you’re both obviously pigheaded and delusional, so I wash my hands of this. Court her, woo her, fuck her—I don’t care. Anything to get her out of your system and keep you from acting like a lovesick schoolboy.”

“Cager, what do you mean?”

He groaned and wrapped his hide around himself. “If you can’t see it, then you’re a bigger idiot than I thought. Yes, it’s all well and nice to be in love with each other out here, where no one judges you. But if you want to stay together, you’re going to have to find a place where one of you won’t be absolutely miserable. People will talk. She’s a half-breed, after all, little brother. She’d never be accepted back home and you’d go mad out here on the plains. That is, if you’d be willing to leave Mom and Hannah for her. Sorry to be so harsh, Diah, but I figured someone should tell you. Now, please let me sleep.”

Cager rolled over on his side and Diah was left alone in front of the fire. He poked at it with a stick. Could he leave his old life behind and be happy making a life with Oni? The clean air and open sky out here appealed to him so much more than smoky, crowded cities.

But would his mother and sister be able to take care of themselves as well Oni did?
Am I being a fool to think it would ever work?

His mind wandered for several hours until Oni yawned and stretched. “How long was I asleep?” She needed to brace herself against the ground in order to sit up and her eyes still blinked away the bleariness.

“Not long enough. Rest—you’ve had a busy day.”

“The airship?”

“You and Cager took care of it. I haven’t seen it since.” He knelt beside her and rested her head on his shoulder. “I don’t think we’ll be seeing it anytime soon.”

“Good,” she mumbled into his jacket. Then she lifted her face. “How are you feeling?”

He grinned. “Like a new man.”

Her mouth rose into a slow smile. “I’m glad you’re here beside me. I was so worried…” Her fingers traced along his jaw and ended at the dimple in his chin.

“Me, too.” He caught her hand. “Thank you for healing me.”

“You’re the one who saved my life. It was the least I could do.” She pulled him closer and her lips brushed his.

How many days had passed without tasting her kiss? He thought he would be ravenous for it, devouring her mouth as his passion consumed him. Instead, he savored the gentle touch and heard his pulse pound in his ears as she withdrew.

“Mmm…” She ran her fingers through his hair and leaned against him. “Please, no more jealousy, Diah.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not stupid. Ever since we left Fort McKeen, you’ve been acting differently. How many times do I have to tell you that it’s you I want, not your brother?”

He chuckled. “Probably a few more times. I’m notoriously stubborn.”

Her laughter vibrated through his chest. “Maybe I can prove it to you.” Her amber eyes burned with desire when he stared into them, and the heat rushed through his body.

“You already have.” He wanted to say more, but his tongue felt clumsy. Dear God, it was getting harder and harder to resist her when she looked at him that way. Even innocent gestures left him wanting more. But what he treasured was that brief second earlier today when he felt her love. “When you were healing me—”

“It wasn’t too painful, was it?”

“No. On the contrary, it was actually pleasant, like falling asleep next to you.”

She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m glad. Forgive me, but I entered your mind while I was healing you. I tried to make sure you had something nice to distract you from the pain.”

“What I saw there pleased me.”

“I’m glad you liked the visions I gave you.”

His stomach knotted up. Something didn’t sound right to him. Visions? Distractions? Had she just made him think she loved him in order to comfort him? Was it better to believe the delusion or to demand the truth? He searched her face. He wanted to believe her, but so many doubts filled him. After a few seconds, he decided he’d sleep better thinking she loved him. She lay down and cuddled next to him under the buffalo blanket.

He clung to her and stared at the stars above him. Her body seemed to fit so well next to his. She had become a part of him, like the missing piece of a puzzle that completed him.

Can I leave her when the time comes?

Chapter Twenty-Two

“You two disappoint me. I thought I would have at least heard something last night.” Cager laughed. “You know, proper thanks for saving each other’s lives.”

Diah stiffened in front of her on his horse. “Not everyone is as crude as you.”

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about properly thanking him last night. Stars above, her body ached for him. She’d even gone so far as to proposition him again, but as always, he refused her. And she was left more confused than ever.

Maybe it was better not to bring it up. Then she wouldn’t have to be reminded that their time together was growing shorter. Every mile brought them closer to the Paha Sapa and ticked off the time she had left with him.

They stopped at midday to rest the horses and nibble on some of the dried meat. She wrinkled her nose. She needed to go hunting tonight. Her palate craved fresh, juicy meat. If she shifted, she would be able to satisfy it easily.

The men stood on top of a nearby hill with the scope and studied the landscape. She almost forgot they’d never seen anything like this before. The worn hills with the different colored striations stabbed by jagged canyons were a rare sight to those from the East. But to her, they were the hills she had roamed for as long as she could remember.

“Hey, Oni, you don’t think we’re in danger of running into the Sioux out here, do you?”

“No, not really. Most of them are moving farther east around this time of the year, although some may linger here if the hunting is good. Why do you ask?”

“Because there seems to be a camp to the south.”

What the hell?
She ran up the hill to join them and peered through the scope. Five tepees sat in a circle about ten miles away, but no smoke rose from the camp. It was abandoned. She adjusted the lens and tried to decipher the markings on the tepees. Her blood froze.

“There’s no one there.” She returned the scope to Cager.

“What do you mean, there’s no one there? Why would the Sioux leave perfectly good tents behind?”

“Because they did. Now stop asking me questions.”

“Maybe it was intended to be a shelter for hunters when they’re in the area,” Diah said as she walked back to the horses.

“Well, if that’s the case, why don’t we camp there tonight? I’d love to have a roof over my head for once.”

“No, Cager, we’re going to avoid that camp and keep pushing southwest. You got that?”

His feet slid on the gravel as he descended the hill, but he maintained his balance and stopped mere inches from her face. “No, we are going to that camp tonight. You’re our guide, remember? We’re the ones paying you, and you will take us where we want to go.”

“You have no idea what you’re messing with.”

“I don’t care. I’m tired of having to pull the covers over my head every night to keep the tip of my nose from freezing off. We know where the camp is, so if you won’t take us, then we can find our way there without you.”

Her gaze traveled to Diah. “What are your thoughts?”

Cager crossed his arms and stood next to her. Diah’s eyes flickered back and forth between them, as if he was trying to decide which side to take. Finally, he sighed and shrugged. “Cager does have a point, Oni. All this sleeping out in the open is wearing me down.”

Stupid
wasichu! Did she have spell out the danger to them? She opened her mouth to tell them but realized they would just laugh at her. It would sound like a silly superstitious ghost story to them. She’d tried to warn them once before about the things unseen, and they had dismissed them then. Didn’t they understand these things were real?

She gritted her teeth. “Fine, but I’m not responsible for your folly. I’ll do my best to protect you, but only because I want my money.”

“Glad to know I could appeal to your reason.” Cager mounted his horse and waited for the two of them to do the same.

Diah frowned as he helped her into the saddle. “So it’s all about the money, huh?”

Her heart thudded when she heard the sadness in his voice. She didn’t mean to hurt him, and yet she had somehow. “No, Diah, I’d protect you—”

“You’ve said enough, Oni.”

Shit!
One of these days, she’d learn to think before she spoke, especially when she was angry. It was too late now to try to apologize, though. He wouldn’t believe her. The money was important, but he was beginning to mean more to her than just about anything else. His coldness almost robbed her of the air she needed to breathe.

When they approached the camp a little over an hour later, she made one final effort to convince them to leave. “We’re going to lose a lot of time staying here tonight. If you really want to reach the Black Hills in time to catch the White Buffalo, I recommend pushing on.”

“And I disagree. We’re all exhausted. The break today will help us keeping moving forward and keep the horses from collapsing on us.” Cager jumped down and inspected the first tepee. “Oh, my God, there’s enough furs and blankets here to make a dozen comfy beds.”

“That’s it—I’m sold. We’re staying here tonight, Oni.” Diah got down and joined his brother.

Great Trickster, please help me worm my way out of this one.
The sacred markings on the tepees reminded her of what happened to the original occupants of this camp and she shuddered.

“All right, we’ll stay, but keep to these two tents and don’t damage anything. Treat it with respect. It’s not your camp, after all.”

“I shall pretend I’m staying at the Maison de Ville in New Orleans,” Cager said with a grin.

While the men were distracted by unloading their bags, Oni touched the smooth hides and traced the markings. Her fingers tingled and fear tweaked her heart. She took a deep breath and forced herself to remain calm. The residual energy was faint. The demon hadn’t been here in many years. Perhaps it had forgotten about it and moved on.

“What’s wrong, Oni?”

She turned to see Diah standing behind her. “I’m just trying to make sure this place is safe.”

“Why wouldn’t it be? It’s empty. You should see the dust inside. Cager and I are going to shake the hides out so we won’t be sleeping in sand. Want to help?”

How he could be so nonchalant about taking over someone’s home? “No, I think I’m going to do some exploring.”

“What are you looking for?”

She frowned and debated whether or not to tell him the truth, that this place was cursed. But was there any need to worry him when the demon hadn’t returned after so long? “My thoughts,” she replied at last.

He shook his head. “More secrets.” She took a step toward him, but he held up his hand to stop her. “No, you don’t need to explain. Just please be back before dark. I really don’t feel like stumbling around in the night trying to find you.”

She nodded and took off for the hills. She paused at the crest and saw the men snapping the hides. A puff of dust flew up from them and drifted off in the breeze. They would be all right for a few hours. Then she shifted.

She circled the camp with her nose to the ground, trying to pick up the scent of the demon, but found nothing. Her muscles relaxed. As long as they did what they were told, they should be safe tonight. But she wanted to leave by dawn. They were pushing their luck by staying here too long.

A jackrabbit darted out in front of her and she chased it. She gave in to the hunter inside her and allowed it to guide her movements. She caught its back leg with her teeth and pounced. Her first instinct was to go for the throat next, but she remembered the men might appreciate some fresh meat too. Still pressing it to the ground, she shifted back into a human and snapped its neck. Dinner.

The sun was setting when she returned to the camp. Cager and Diah practically drooled when she held up her catch for them to see. “Anyone want to help me dress it?”

“I will, but I want a larger portion.” Diah pulled out a knife and began skinning it.

An hour later, the last of the succulent meat had been eaten, and they sat around the fire and sipped coffee. Diah licked his fingers. “Oni, I have to admit that’s the best meal we’ve had since we left Jim’s.”

Cager nodded. “I agree. I’ll sleep well tonight.” He patted his stomach. “A hot meal, a roof over my head and a warm bed. I almost feel like I’m back in civilization.”

Diah chuckled and stared at his feet. She wondered what he was thinking and why his cheeks seemed redder than usual.

Cager stood and brushed the dirt off his trousers. “Well, I’m off to bed. You two don’t stay up too late, got it?” She almost swore he winked at Diah before he ducked into one of the tepees.

The silence stretched out between them like a widening ravine. Diah poked at the coals with a stick and every once in a while would pull out the smoking tip, study it and put it back in the fire. He was probably still angry with her. She just wished she could see into his mind and find out why.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier, Diah.” She leaned as close to him as she dared. “I didn’t mean to imply I was only interested in the money.”

“You made it sound like you did. Why did you raise such a fuss about staying here tonight?”

She bit her bottom lip. He deserved to know the truth. “Because this place is cursed.” He flinched, but she continued, “Many years ago, the people of this camp mysteriously disappeared. The
wicasha wakan
said they were consumed by a demon.”

“The who?” His brow knitted together. “And what?”

This was just the reaction she expected.
Why did I ever tell him?
“The
wicasha wakan
are holy men. They see the things unseen, both good and evil.”

“So you were frightened by a story about demons of some sort?”

He was mocking her and her hands clenched. She was about to tell him it was more than just a story when the coyotes sang nearby. He jumped and she laughed as her anger melted away. “You make fun of me for believing the old stories and yet you’re terrified of a little coyote.”

His eyes darted around the camp. “I just don’t like them, all right? They’re nothing more than thieves and troublemakers.”

She held his chin so his gaze evened with hers. “Is that truly what you think about them? That there are no redeeming qualities about them?”

“The Coyote in your stories is a different creature from those out there.”

She stroked his cheek. It was soft and smooth under her fingers. He must have shaved while she was gone. She leaned closer and inhaled the scent of the soap he used. Her body grew warm and a dull ache formed in the pit of her stomach. Stars above, she wanted him. “I’ll protect you from the coyotes if you’re really that afraid of them.”

“And how much will that cost?” He tried to sound cold, but she heard the tremor in his voice. Maybe she wasn’t the only one aroused tonight.

She nibbled on his ear, and he inhaled sharply and reached for her shoulder. “I’m sure we can figure something out,” she whispered.

His pupils seemed larger than normal when she pulled away and he had to swallow several times before he found his voice again. “Oh God, Oni, I know I shouldn’t want you so much, but I…” He finished his sentence by crushing her lips with his own.

A squeal of excitement rose within her as his kiss deepened.
Please don’t let him say no tonight.
She molded her body to his. The need to breathe overcame her and she regretfully ended it. Her lungs strained against her ribs. “Diah, I’m only going to invite you into my bed one more time. A girl can only take so much rejection.”

She stood and walked toward the tepee. Only his eyes followed her. Her heart fluttered like a magpie’s when she paused at the flap and looked over her shoulder.
Get your ass in here or, so help me, I’m going to drag you in here
.

But he didn’t move.

The shock of disappointment hit her like a punch in the gut. Her vision blurred and she quickly ducked into the tepee. He wanted her and she hoped she’d convinced him the feeling was mutual. Why did he continue to refuse her?

She pressed her dagger to the dish of tallow hanging above her and lit the primitive candle. Then she gathered up the hides to make a bed big enough for just her. He could sleep with his brother tonight for all she cared.

“May I come in?” Diah poked his head through the flap.

She resisted the urge to say something nasty, but she nodded and turned away. After all, he was just a man. There were plenty more out there, right? She could always find another one.

But when he locked eyes with her, her resolve fled. No, she could never find another man like him, no matter how hard she tried. Her voice shook when she spoke. “Didn’t you have something to say?”

He cradled her face in his hands, stroking his thumb along her cheekbone. “It’s not that I don’t want to make love to you—I can’t think of anything I’d like to do more. It’s just that…”

“What? Are you waiting for the perfect moment?” She took a step forward and he backed away. “I know this isn’t a fancy hotel room with a brass bed and a feather mattress, but we have walls and roof for privacy and enough furs to create a soft bed.”

He winced and she enjoyed it. Words were as effective as a kick in the groin, and she wanted him to hurt as much as she did.

“No, Oni, it’s not that. I—” He lowered his gaze and sighed. “I’m scared that, if I give in to you now, it will make it harder to leave you when I have to go home. It’s already going to be difficult enough to say goodbye because I know you won’t come with me back to Vicksburg, but—”

“Wait a minute.” Her anger evaporated, and when she approached him again, he stood still. “You were thinking about the future of you and me?”

He nodded. “I can’t take advantage of you. Although Lord knows I’ve been tempted enough to dwell on my own selfish needs.” He reached around her back and untied the string that secured her thick braid. He ran his fingers through her hair, unraveling it. “Do you know how many nights I’ve dreamed about feeling your skin next to mine? To know what it would be like to see your eyes staring back at mine as I made love to you?”

Wetness pooled between her legs.
Stars above, he’s arousing me with mere words.
“Diah, we can’t always think about the future. Right now, we have each other and a moment to enjoy it before Hinkle comes after us again.” She pressed her body against his. “The question is why do you continue to torment yourself?”
And me?