The Amish Doll: Amish Knitting Novel (Bonus Knitting Pattern Included) (3 page)

Joshua cleared his throat. “Raven, what would you like?”

“Pie for breakfast? I’ll take that.” She didn’t add that the stress she felt called for a comfort food. Joshua hurried around the kitchen like a master chef. He soon had all the plates on the table and she eyed her pie. It wasn’t a piece; it was a quarter of a pie. Oh well, she must need it. “Is it okay if I ask questions while we eat?”

“
Jah
, go ahead,” Rueben said.

She saw Joshua tenderly help his mother move close to the table and sit in a chair with a pillow up against the back. “Now we’re ready,” he said.

“Well, it appears no one here is a criminal,” she grinned. “Your background checks came back clear. Now I have to interview you to see why it is you want a foster child.”

All eyes looked at Susanna. “I’m sick, as you can see. I have the blessed hope of seeing my Redeemer, so I’m not sad. But I want to leave this world with all the love I can give. What better way than to share my home and love with children who have neither?”

Raven looked at Susanna tenderly. “That is a very special thought, but you’re so ill.”

“I have more than thoughts; I have a plan. We have a wonderful
goot
church district that wants to pitch in and help. So, you see, I won’t be doing this alone.”

Raven looked at Joshua. He already looked overworked. “Who will coordinate all the help?”

“Well, our
Gmay
meets every other week and needs are brought up and made known. We’ll have plenty of help.”

“What’s a
Gmay
?” Raven asked.

“It’s German for community. It’s what
Englishers
, like you, call church.”

Raven thought of the clans in the Seneca Nation. She remembered the community they shared and how they worked together. They shared things in common. If someone had a good sewing machine all the women in the clan used it. The rules for the community were made by the wise elderly women. She looked
over at Susanna and knew she’d be considered a wise mother to a clan.

She didn’t want to ask the next question, but she knew she had to. “I don’t mean any disrespect, but what are your motives for wanting foster children? Are they to help you on the farm?”

“A few boys can learn a lot on a farm, so yes, I’d be willing to teach them,” Rueben chimed in.

Raven’s head spun. “A few boys? You want more than one? And for farm work?”

“It’s
goot
for them. Makes them learn what real work is. It’s a gift to teach a child hard work.”

Raven shifted on the hard wooden bench. “We can’t have children being exploited, made to work for your profit.”

Susanna leaned forward and clenched her hands in her lap. “We don’t think ten year olds are wee ones. We let the little ones play all they want, but when they’re old enough to do a chore, we let them. It makes them feel important to the family.”

Raven thought back to some classes she took on child development. The Montessori Method believed the same thing. When a child was old enough to do simple tasks, they were encouraged. “What type of work would you expect a ten year old boy to do?”

“I milked the cow when I was ten,” Joshua said. “I fed chickens, collected eggs, cleaned the horse stalls, and fed the cattle. At harvest time there’s lots of wheat to stack and dry. “

Raven let out a sigh. “So you decided to get some boys during the harvest season for help, right?”

“It’s not a bad thing to work,” Joshua said. “I feel blessed to be healthy enough to toil in the fields.” He looked over at his mother. “I even put up fruits and vegetables, which is women’s work, but it’s the least I can do.”

Raven was taken aback by the love in Joshua’s eyes when he looked at his mother. She pursed her lips together so she wouldn’t tear up. She’d never know what it was like to have a bond with her mother. Raven pushed the thought out of her mind, and continued with her questions. “Susanna, can you tell me what your health status is?”

“I’m in kidney failure and am praying a kidney will come in. I’ve been on the list for three years.”

Susanna had no fear or sadness in her voice. She simply stated facts. She wasn’t in denial at all.  Raven looked into Susanna’s serene eyes. What was this woman’s trick? She was dying, yet so calm. Again, she willed back tears.

“And if you were denied being a foster parent, how would you feel?”

“Real sad,” Susanna said. “The Good Lord put love in my heart for these children I hear have no parents. It’s a sad thing. I can help.”

“I understand these children. I was raised in foster homes since I was nine and they need love…” Raven said.

“Did your parents die, dear one,” Susanna asked.

“I never knew my parents. I was raised by my grandparents… until they died.”

Susanna got up out of her chair and walked to Raven and embraced her. “I’m sorry child. I didn’t know. So sorry.”

Raven felt the warmth of the prayer shawl around her and something deep inside began to melt.  No one hugged her like this woman she hardly knew. She tried to hold back her emotions, but the more Susanna just stood there and embraced her, she felt the avalanche of hurt and rejection start to topple, and tears escaped and ran down her face. Susanna walked over to the big blue pantry and got out a handkerchief. “Here child, take this. I embroidered the flowers. Whenever you cry, think of me. I’m here for you.”

Raven eyed the white cloth with embroidered purple flowers. “Thank you, Susanna.” She looked over at Joshua for that
comforting look he always gave. He smiled at her, and she regained her composure. “I have more forms for you to fill out. They’re mostly yes or no questions. I’ll leave them here and pick them up in a few days.

“I hope to see you soon,” Susanna said.

She got up to go, but hesitated, and looked at Susanna. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Well, we know Appleton’s number by heart. The Rowes’ are our trusted English friends and drivers for us, but if you’d like to take a turn, that would be nice. I have to get blood work taken once a week.”

Joshua hooked his thumbs around his suspenders near his chest and looked at Raven as she ate her pie. She tugged at his heart. He was right. It was pain he saw in her eyes. To think she went to school to help foster children, but she needed help herself. He looked at the way she melted in his
mamm’s
arms and cried. How could he cheer her up before she left?

“Raven, would you like to take a buggy ride?”

She looked at him and smiled. “I‘d love to.”

They went out to the barn where two wagons were housed. He helped her into the open buggy and they were on the road in no time. They passed Eb’s house and he saw Raven gasp. “That’s the man I saw.”

Joshua groaned. “Eb’s our neighbor. He was most likely drunk when you saw him and probably still is.” He hoped Eb wouldn’t come out to meet them on the road, but he did.

“
Danki
for the money, Joshua. I’ll pay you back.”

Joshua saw Eb was tipsy and tried to ignore him. “That’s fine, but can you let the horse go?”

“Hey, is that you?” he said as he noticed Raven. “I’ve always loved you and still do…”

Joshua looked at Raven in disbelief. “Do you know him?”

Raven’s eyes were round as buttons. “No, but he said the same thing to me this morning. What’s wrong with him? Does he have a mental disorder?”

“Alcohol, if you call that a disorder.” Joshua looked at Eb evenly. “Let go of the horse.” He could see Eb was transfixed on Raven and didn’t move, and she felt uncomfortable. “Eb, this is Raven, and you don’t know her.”

“Pretty face,” he said, not taking his eyes off of her.

Joshua clicked his mouth for the horse to go and it did, and Eb let go of the bit, trying to run alongside the buggy. He soon had the horse trotting and Eb couldn’t keep up. He looked at Raven. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, “she said.

“Well,
goot
. No man should talk to a woman like that.” He looked at her and grinned. “Would you like to try some pumpkin ice cream? I’ve been craving some all week.”

“I just had pie! Being around the Amish will make me gain weight,” she said with a crooked grin. “Well, okay, as long as I can get back to the car in half an hour. I have other home visits to make, now that it’s eight o’clock, when most people are up for business.” She elbowed Joshua in a playful way.

“My aunt makes the best ice cream and she doesn’t live far. Only a mile away.”

They went past the Cockaigne Ski Resort. “Do the Amish ski?” she asked.

“
Jah
, but we don’t pay for it like the English, and we have a different way of doing it.”

“There’s more than one way?”

“
Jah
, there is. When it snows in a few weeks, I’ll show you how.”

“I know, the annual foot of snow on Halloween,” she moaned. “I don’t care for the snow too much. “

They soon reached his aunt’s and after pulling in, he jumped out of the buggy to Raven’s side to help her out. When he touched her soft hand, his heart beat faster. He couldn’t be attracted to an English woman, for sure and for certain. He’d have to do some talking to his Heavenly Father tonight. 

When they entered the large Amish house, he noticed it wasn’t a good time. Several women were around a quilting frame, having a frolic. His Aunt Hannah came over to greet them and said she’d make them two pumpkin ice cream cones in a jiffy. Joshua looked across the room and met Lottie’s dark brown eyes. She nodded and smiled at him, keeping his gaze. Soon his aunt handed him two cones and told them to stop back again. When they walked to the buggy, he was surprised by Raven.

“Is that girl with the red hair and freckles your girlfriend?”

He helped her in the buggy. “Why do you ask?”

“I do have eyes and I’ve been in love before, for a short time…sort of.”

“Well, we courted for a long while, but she just felt neglected with me helping my
mamm
and doing all my chores.”

He heard Raven huff. “How selfish. Why didn’t she help you instead of complaining?”

A grin spread out across Joshua’s face. She was so frank and said out loud what he wished he could admit. Lottie was selfish, not common for an Amish girl who was taught to sacrifice for family. Here was Raven, not Amish and tossed around in foster homes, and she had better sense…she had more of a heart.

~*~

Raven sat between Toby and Ethan on the oak pew in the church. She had pen in hand to take down notes of anything peculiar. The other boys, who sat in the pew in front of her, were so excited. Why? She’d find out who was bribing them to come here.

The boys were being bribed at Appleton too, she was certain. They hardly watched TV, and sat around the table like old men, playing Five-Hundred- Rummy with Marilyn and Jim. But she couldn’t deny that there was a lot of roaring and laughter coming from the kitchen.

Soon Lawrence ran into the church. “Sorry I’m late, everyone. I got behind an Amish buggy coming back from Randolph and couldn’t find a place to pass for miles. OK, I see we have a full house of twenty some kids. How are you all doing this week? Any prayer requests?”

A girl who appeared to be ten raised her hand. “My grandma’s back in the hospital and I’m scared. My parents aren’t telling me what’s really wrong.”

Lawrence, who was now sitting on a chair in the front, leaned forward. “Well, God knows and we’ll just ask Him to help her where she needs it. Any other prayer requests?”

Bud shot his arm up. “Sometimes Mr. Rowe looks tired and I don’t know why. Maybe he needs God’s strength. He’s old.”

“God gives strength to the weary,” Lawrence said. “We’ll pray.”

She looked at the concern on Bud’s face. Jim had a special bond with him, and was the anchor in his life. She remembered the bond she had with Granny Nora. Raven wished she could stay in that foster home forever. Granny taught her how to knit and she remembered it calmed her down. She remembered when Granny passed on. Raven was told one day she had to move on, too. Not enough adult-to-child ratio in the home. Her throat tightened. 

Raven heard another child ask that prayer be given for her dog. When Lawrence said he’d pray for her dog, she felt indignant. Didn’t God have more important things to do, like running the universe, to care about a dog? How silly.

All the children bowed their heads and one after another, a child prayed out loud about one of the prayer requests. She looked around the room at their serious expressions. Were they being sincere or was this just another childhood game? Did they really believe that God was listening? How ridiculous. They didn’t even know for sure there was a God. No one knew.

After the prayer time, Lawrence asked them to open their Bibles. They were going to pick up where they left off last week. They were studying a book called John. When a volunteer was needed to read, Toby stood up and read:

“John 14: 16-18, I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.”

Raven felt her mouth grow dry. An advocate who will never leave you? How many social workers, who were called her advocates, left her for a better job? She remembered Mrs. Pfeiffer. She thought she was the apple of this woman’s eye, but she left her. Lawrence’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“An advocate is someone who pleads your case or speaks up for you. I’m an advocate for Compassion International, and I speak up for the poor.  But Jesus is saying something powerful here; the Holy Spirit will live in you and never leave you, like orphans are left with no care.”

Raven glanced at the boys. So this was it. They were being told they weren’t really orphans. No foster child liked that label. This religion offered a way to be adopted. She was told this same story as a child. The Great Spirit will be with you always. Why did she feel like an orphan deep down then? Religion never answered her questions, but why did the boys find such comfort in what the Bible said?

Soon all the boys got on one side of the church and the girls on the other. Now she would find out why they really came. She was shocked when it was time for a Bible Bee.  Whoever memorized the most scriptures won? That was it? No sweets or prizes? Why would the boys do this week after week? What was in the Bible that made them want to read it? She noticed a stack of paperback Bibles in the church entry that were free for the taking. She’d take one and find out.

~*~

Raven sat up in bed and flipped the paperback Bible to John 14 and read it over and over. The Bible didn’t make her mad, like she supposed, but was comforting. She reread the first few lines:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

God was preparing a permanent home?  She read down further. Thomas asked where he was going to make this home, but Jesus never answered but only said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Comfort stirred in her, but she did think Jesus seemed a little arrogant. How could he say he was the only way to God?  Raven read the whole chapter again, and a gentle peace waved over her heart. What was wrong with her? She felt like crying again, but why? She never cried… She thought of Susanna who was dying unless she got a kidney. The hug she gave her made her feel like God was wrapping his arms around her. 

~*~

Joshua sat at his
mamm’s
side. She complained of pain and had a fever of 102. He took more ice and placed it on her forehead; she looked up at him with thankful eyes, though her teeth were gritting. He hoped his
daed
would come back from the phone shanty soon to let them know the Rowes’ could drive. The sound of charging feet came up the steps. “Raven will drive and she said she’ll be her soon. I’ll bundle your
mamm
up and you watch for her car.”

Joshua did as he was told. He grabbed his black wool coat and hat and waited on the porch. Raven was driving? Why not the Rowes’? Were they sick? He always felt bad calling people in the middle of the night, but this could not be avoided. He looked up into the inky black sky. The stars looked like sparkling diamonds. Christ’s light shines brightest when all is dark around us. He bowed and prayed his
mamm
would make it through the night. Soon he saw headlights pull into the driveway, and Raven darted out of the car. “Is she alright?” she yelled as she slid on the ice. Soon she was lying flat on the drive way.

He ran to her and helped her up. “Are you okay?” He scooped her up and helped her into the house. “Are you hurt? “

“I’m fine, really,” she said, her face beet red. “I was so afraid for your mother; I sped over here as fast as I could.”

Joshua looked at her massive curls falling over the sides of her face and down onto her white coat. But such fear in her eyes. “God won’t take
Mamm
one minute before her time.”

“You really believe that?”

“Well, we’ve had three years to meditate on it…”

Joshua heard one set of loud footsteps coming down the steps and knew his
daed
was carrying his
mamm
. This wasn’t good. He went to the bottom of the steps and gathered his
mamm
into his arms, as he watched his
daed
gasp for air. He looked down at his
mamm
to see her eyes were closed. Dear Lord, not tonight!

~*~

When they were told to take Susanna back to one of the rooms, they asked Raven to come. She protested, but they treated her like she was part of the family. Did they treat all drivers like this? She sat in a chair next to Joshua while Rueben took a seat on the other side of the exam table where Susanna lay sleeping.  She saw their faces were twisted in grief yet their hands where folded in prayer. Soon a nurse came in to take Susanna’s vitals and draw vials of blood. Rueben followed the nurse out of the room as he asked questions.