Authors: Ruth Hartzler
Romans 13:10.
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
Chapter 14
.
Jacob stood in the store, looking at the vast array of clocks, wall clocks, table clocks, mantle clocks, and grandfather clocks. They all looked manly, though, and he was sure there was not one in sight that Esther would like. He had decided to buy an engagement gift for Esther, and typically engagement gifts were either clocks or china. The fact that Esther had shown no interest in him as a
mann
as yet of course concerned him, but he had loved Esther all his life and was determined to move forward until Esther was his
fraa
.
One little clock caught Jacob's eye. He knew how much Esther loved wood, and this was a pretty mahogany. The store owner hurried over to point out the clock's attributes, which Jacob soon heard featured
movingue
overlays and rare mahogany coupled with bronze feet. What's more, he was told, it had triple chime action.
Jacob rubbed his chin. "It's a gift, and she doesn't like noisy bells, so I doubt she'd like a chiming clock."
The store owner was unperturbed. "It's perfect then, as it has a chime silence option."
Jacob tuned out as the store owner went on at some length about the attributes of the various clocks. Jacob did not find clocks at all interesting, but he did think Esther would like that one clock. Still, he should go and look at china. Jacob was undecided, but then he thought he should buy Esther the little clock and perhaps china as well, if he could find a piece that she'd like.
He was leaving the store when he happened across John Graber, one of the
menner
who had been sitting with him for lunch at the barn-raising.
"
Hullo
, Jacob." John winked at him. "In the market for a clock?"
Jacob laughed, although he was a little uneasy that he had been seen looking at clocks, and by John Graber of all people. John could talk the leg off an iron pot, and wasn't known for his discretion. At any rate, being seen looking at clocks was the same as an
Englisch
man being seen looking at engagement rings. Jacob edged the box with the clock under his coat, although he was sure that John had already seen it, and that could mean it would soon be all over town. "And you?"
"Could be." John, a pleasant young
mann
, turned bright red and couldn't look Jacob in the eye.
Jacob wondered who the object of John's affections could be, and remembered that he had seen John driving Sarah Hilty home after the most recent Singing. Jacob smiled. They would make a lovely couple. The two said their goodbyes, and John went into the store while Jacob walked down the street to an antique store.
The china gift was supposed to be practical, and Jacob could not see any practical china in the antique store. He saw delicate teapots as well as cup and saucer sets in fine china, all of which looked as if they would break at the very first opportunity. Jacob wondered, if they truly were antiques, how they had survived so long. Jacob spent longer than he thought in the musty antique store, for he was distracted by a variety of fascinating antique tools.
Jacob gave up and decided to return home, but as he was on his way back, he passed a little specialty coffee store which featured exotic teas and coffees in the window. But what caught his eye, was a teapot adorned by cats. Esther had always wanted a kitten, and she loved her meadow tea; this gift would be ideal for her.
Jacob stood and looked. The teapot was sturdy enough. Some in the community would consider it too ornamental, but Esther would love it. Besides, Esther's
daed's
familye
, like his own
familye
, was not as strict as most of the other
familyes
in the community. Esther's
mudder's
familye
, however, was from one of the strictest, and he figured she would not approve. Yet what mattered most to him, was that Esther herself would love the little teapot.
Who I am fooling anyway?
Jacob asked himself.
I'm
ab im kopp
, crazy. Esther's never going to marry me
. And so, with indecision, Jacob stood, looking in the window at the little teapot, with the clock under his arm.
I expect I'll get married one day,
he thought sadly,
and whoever she is, I'll give her this clock, so it won't be wasted
.
Then his mind changed again. He remembered his
daed's
favorite saying, "Guut gewetzt iss halwer gemaeht."
Well begun is half done
.
I'll buy the teapot
, he thought.
What can it hurt? I won't give up Esther without a good fight
.
Jacob went into the store and asked to see the cat teapot. The label said that it held four cups of tea. That meant one for him, one for Esther, and one each for two of their
kinner
when they were old enough to drink tea. Jacob blushed furiously at the thought.
I'm getting way ahead of myself here
, he silently scolded himself.
He paid for his purchase, and the elderly man behind the counter went to look for paper to wrap it up. He had just started to wrap it when John Graber walked through the door. Jacob wished the elderly man would wrap faster, before John saw it, but that was not to be.
"A teapot, Jacob?" he asked.
Jacob saw no way to deny it, so simply nodded.
"And you bought a clock as well, didn't you? I feel bad, as I didn't know whether to buy a clock or not, but I couldn't decide, so now I've come here looking for china for Sarah." John immediately looked horrified and put his hand over his mouth. "Oh no, me and my big mouth! You won't tell anyone, will you? My
mudder
always says I think before I speak. Oh dear."
Jacob hastily assured the kindly John that he wouldn't tell a soul. Although at the same time, he was just as certain that John would probably let slip that he had seen Jacob buying a clock and china.
Luke 12:3.
Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.
Chapter 15
.
Esther hadn't seen Jacob for a whole week. This was not unusual for a dating couple in her community, and she was sure that he was kept busy on the farm. Nevertheless, she could not help but worry.
One sunny morning, Esther was in the vegetable garden to pick some sage for the Stuffed Acorn Squash she was about to make, when she heard the clip clop of hooves. She looked up in delight, hoping to see Jacob's buggy, but instead, Jessie Yoder's buggy drove into view.
Whatever is she doing here?
Esther thought, and anxiety gnawed away at her stomach.
Jessie pulled her horse up. "
Hiya
Esther, can I speak to you?"
"Sure," Esther said with a strong feeling of dread. "Tie up your horse and we'll go into the
haus
."
"
Nee
, please stay here. I wanted to speak with you in private." Esther nodded, and Jessie got out of her buggy.
This can't be good
, Esther thought, with growing apprehension.
Jessie narrowed her eyes at Esther. "Esther, I wanted to apologize to you. I've been acting funny around you, and I wanted to tell you why, although I'll be in trouble for doing so."
"I don't understand." Esther said, trying to calm her anxiety.
"It's not easy to tell you." Jessie smiled, but Esther thought that the smile did not reach her eyes.
After Jessie hesitated somewhat, Esther asked, "What is it?"
A calculating look passed over Jessie's face. "It's about you and Jacob pretending to be a dating couple."
Esther's hand flew to her mouth. "But, but," she stammered, "how did you know?"
Jessie looked at Esther as if she were a complete idiot. "Well, Jacob told me, of course."
Esther looked at Jessie in utter shock.
"And I need your help."
"My help?" This was all too much for Esther; she sat down in the rich earth between the neat rows of vegetables and put her head in her hands. Esther was heartbroken.
It must be true
, she thought. The only other person in the world who knew about the secret was Jacob, so he must have told Jessie. But why? Why would he betray her trust?
Jessie stood over Esther, looking down at her. "I know you and Jacob are pretending to be dating so your
mudder
won't pressure you to date Amos Troyer," she continued, her eyes narrowed.
Esther stood up, and leaned against the little, white picket fence that protected the vegetables from the chickens. Her head was spinning; her whole world was spinning.
"The thing is, Esther," Jessie said, shooting Esther a calculating look, "that Jacob is secretly dating me."
Esther gasped at that piece of news and clutched at the fence with both hands.
It can't be true
, she thought.
"It's a secret as we don't want my
mudder
to find out. You know what
Mamm's
like; she doesn't like the Hostetler
familye
any more than your
Mamm
does. Jacob was about to tell you that we were dating the very day when you asked him to pretend to be dating you."
A wave of nausea swept over Esther. Her worst fears were being realized. This was exactly what she had been afraid of. She thought of Job's words from the Old Testament, "For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me."
Why are you testing me like this, Gott?
Esther caught her breath, doing her very best not to cry.
Jessie was still talking. "Jacob didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that he couldn't help you, as he wants to support you against being paired off with Amos. You
are
his good friend after all. The only problem is, that it hurts my feelings that Jacob is pretending to date you. You can understand that, can't you?"
Esther did her best to nod. She avoided Jessie's eyes.
Jessie leaned into her. "Esther, Jacob can't know that we've had this conversation. He didn't want to tell you, obviously. He really wants to help you."
Esther cleared her throat. "What do want me to do?"
Jessie looked at her from below her narrowed lids. "Tell Jacob there's no need to pretend to be dating anymore. Tell him you like Amos after all - tell him anything you like, but he'll feel bad and he'll argue with you, so you'll have to make it convincing."
Esther stood there, dumbstruck, but Jessie pressed on. "You can't let him know I've told you," she said again, "'cause he'll be angry with me. This is our secret. I know this puts you in a difficult position, but your
mudder
can't
force
you to date Amos, so it's not all that bad is it?"
Esther finally found her voice. "I suppose not," she croaked. Her mouth had suddenly gone dry.
"
Gut
!" Jessie exclaimed. "Then Jacob and I can keep dating in secret. Now, Esther, you can't let on that you know about us dating, either. I know we haven't been friends in the past, but it's good of you to help me out like this. You will help me out, won't you? You will tell Jacob to stop pretending that he's dating you, won't you?"
"
Jah
." Tears were pricking at Esther's eyes.
Jessie climbed back in her buggy and drove off, leaving Esther standing there. Esther sank to the ground amidst the cucumbers and cried heartily, not caring one bit that she was sitting in the dirt and that her dress was newly washed. Laundry was the furthest thing from her mind.
It must be true
, she thought,
or how else would Jessie know? It must be true; Jacob and Jessie must be dating after all.
Her whole body was racked with sobs.
Proverbs 25:2.
It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.
Chapter 16
.
Esther hurried back into the
haus
to wash her face before her
schweschders
Martha and Rebecca saw her. Her face felt puffy, and her eyes were sore and irritated. For once Esther wished she had a mirror so she could see just how bad she looked. It would be good to have some forewarning before she faced the inevitable barrage of questions from her
schweschders
. At least her
mudder
wasn't there, at any rate; she was in the basement doing the laundry.
As she emerged from the bathroom, Rebecca called from the kitchen. "Did you get the sage? You were ages."
Esther walked into the kitchen, taking deep, slow breaths. "Oh, I forgot it. I don't feel much like making the Stuffed Acorn Squash now, anyway. I'll make it later."
"
Gut
, Martha and I are going to make apple pies. Can you do the pastry? You're much better at it than we are." Rebecca had her head down, peeling apples.
Just then Martha burst into the
haus
and hurried into the kitchen. "Was that Jessie Yoder?" she called out. Martha gasped when she saw Esther's face. "Esther, you've been crying," she exclaimed.
Rebecca turned to Esther. "What happened? Did Jessie Yoder make you cry? Oh goodness, and your dress is all dirty!"
They both put their arms around Esther's shoulders. The display of sympathy made Esther want to sob all over again, but she bit her lip and did her best not to cry. "I'm okay, really. Now are we making pastry?"
Martha peered into Esther's face. "Esther, you can tell us, really. Whatever happened? What did Jessie say? Did someone die?"
"
Nee
, no one died." As much as Esther wanted to share the burden with her younger
schweschders
, she could not. She hadn't told them in the first place that Jacob was pretending to date her, and then, being unsure of her feelings at the time, she had denied that she was in love with Jacob. It was all too complicated, and she wasn't up to explaining anything in depth.
"What happened, then?" Rebecca insisted.
Esther sighed deeply. "All I can tell you is that Jessie told me something that made me cry. It's her secret, though, so I'm not allowed to tell anyone."
Martha and Rebecca groaned in unison. "Why not?" they both said.
"It wouldn't be right. Now, Martha, take these sugar cookies out to
Datt
and Noah." She handed Martha a plate of soft, lightly browned cookies.
Martha leaned close to Rebecca. "Best not ask her any questions while I'm over at the workshop; she seems too upset," she whispered.
"I can hear you, Martha; I'm standing right here." Esther was amused despite her broken heart.
Martha just smiled, and left with the cookies. "I bet she eats some cookies on the way over there," Rebecca muttered to herself. "Esther, do you want to sit down? I'll make you a nice cup of meadow tea."
"
Nee
,
denki
, it's best I keep busy." Esther poured some flour into a bowl.
"You'd better change your dress before
Mamm
sees it; she'll want to know why it's all dirty," Rebecca said.
"
Gut
idea." Esther looked down at the dress which had dirt all over the sides and back. "I'll go back for the sage first, and then I'll change."
Esther wiped the flour off her hands onto her apron, and hurried back to the vegetable garden.
The vegetable garden was neat and ordered.
I wish my life was so neat and ordered
, Esther thought sadly, looking at the well organized rows of vegetables. Esther looked up the beautiful purple feathered martins sitting on their martin houses. She remembered the Bible passage,
Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows
.
The words comforted Esther, and she sent up a silent prayer. "Please
Gott
, help me. No one can but You." It wasn't a long prayer, but it was a heartfelt one.
No sooner had she said the words than she saw a buggy approaching from the distance.
I hope Jessie hasn't come back
, she thought, with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. As the buggy grew closer, Esther recognized it as Jacob's buggy - Jacob, the last person on earth she wanted to see.
Why, Gott, why?
she lamented.
The ministers said You wouldn't test us more than we can bear
.
Esther walked out of the vegetable garden and shut the gate behind her. Jacob climbed down from the buggy and tied his horse to the hitching ring.
"
Hiya
, Esther." Jacob's wide smile soon turned to a frown. "Esther, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Esther could barely speak. Jacob was wearing his simple work clothes and had his usual crooked grin on his face. Esther's heart leaped.
Jacob stepped toward her. "Esther, it looks like you've been crying."
Esther shook her head. "
Nee
, it's just a cold."
Jacob's face was full of concern. "Are you okay?"
Esther nodded.
"Well, since our dinner was ruined last week," he continued, "I came to see if you'd like to come on another buggy ride with me."
Esther felt cold all over; her limbs suddenly grew heavy. "It's okay, Jacob; you don't have to pretend any more."
Jacob looked stunned. "What do mean?" He tilted his head to one side.
Esther drew a deep breath. "I'm very grateful to you, Jacob, for trying to help me by pretending we were dating, but there's no need to any more."
Jacob's brow creased in a frown. "What's happened?" When Esther didn't answer, he continued, "Has your
mudder
stopped trying to matchmake you with Amos?"
Esther bit her lip.
"You're not interested in Amos now, are you?"
Esther suspected that she detected a hint of jealousy in Jacob's tone.
He's dating Jessie Yoder, so how can he be jealous of Amos?
she thought, frowning and crossing her arms.
"We just don't need to pretend any more, Jacob; can't you leave it at that?" Esther realized that she was sounding a little hysterical, but she didn't care too much just how high-pitched her voice came out.
"Esther, if you were seeing someone else, you'd tell me, wouldn't you?"
Jacob looked so upset, but Esther couldn't figure why. His question made things difficult for her. She felt she couldn't break Jessie's confidence, but Jacob was a dear friend and she didn't want to lie to him. After all, it was to him, not Jessie, that her loyalties lay.
"
Nee
, I'm not seeing anyone, Jacob," Esther said in a small, flat voice.
"But why then? I thought we, we…" Jacob's voice broke off. He looked at the ground for a moment.
"I have to go." Esther ran into the
haus
, leaving a stunned Jacob standing there.