The Arrangement Anthology (22 page)

Lifting his gaze, Sean runs his eyes over me, taking in every curve. His lips don’t move. There’s no expression on his face. I don’t sit. Instead, I stand there, waiting for him to say something. Sean’s cold again. This feels like a business transaction and nothing more. Now I understand why he does it. It’s because he has to. There’s no way to be both warm and contained at the same time.

Sean lifts his steely gaze. I step forward and press my finger to the monogram on his plate. His eyes lock with mine. My heart tries to race faster when he looks at me, but I forbid it. I can be cold, too. I shut everyone else out. What’s one more person? I’m not sure why I let him into my messed up life in the first place.

Sean arches a brow at me, but my meaning is clear. Whatever happened this morning is gone. Things are back to the status quo now. Sean nods and extends his arm, waving me to sit. “Avery,” he says my name like we’re strangers.

My stomach feels like I ate a window—wood, glass, and all—and churns uncomfortably. The waiter appears from nowhere when I take my seat. He pulls back the chair for me and I sit down. Sean orders wine and the waiter disappears.

“Nice dress,” he says, carelessly.

“Nice tie,” I say, leaning to the side, like I don’t care. Sean looks stunning. He’s wearing a black suit with a black shirt. His silk tie is midnight blue which makes his eyes look bluer than I would have thought possible.

Sean smirks. “I wouldn’t have thought you’d wear something like that.” Sean is mirroring me. I pretend not to notice. I sit up and tilt my head, making my hair fall over my shoulder.

“Yeah, well, it turns out that I do.” I lean closer to him and give him a lazy smile. “Before I left, Black stripped me and stole my panties, so half the work’s done for you.” I wink and sit back.

Sean is still leaning forward. His cool façade cracks a little. “You’re not wearing panties under that?” I shake my head slowly and smile at him. It seems to do something to him, but he tries to hide it. Sean’s voice sounds a little too breathy when he speaks. “Well then, it’s only fair to tell you that…” he leans closer. I lean in to hear him whisper, taking a sip of wine as he speaks. “I’m not wearing any panties either.”

I try so hard not to react to him, but I can’t help it. I snort laugh and choke on the wine. It’s so embarrassing. I keep coughing and I can’t stop. Sean smiles at first and then looks concerned. He moves his chair closer to me, leaning in and placing his hand on my back. “Are you okay?”

I punch his arm and he sits back and smiles. Everyone is looking at us. “You’re such an ass,” I hiss.

Sean scoots back to his place. The grin on his face lights him up. I can’t picture him looking more perfect than he does right now. “You started it, Miss Smith. I suggest you only step up to the net if you intend to play hard.”

“Tennis euphemisms? Really? Nothing says highbrow like tennis,” I lift the glass and make snobby face. I suck at not letting him affect me. Within minutes of arriving, Sean cracked my shell and is pulling me out, but I can’t have it.

“Well, the balls are the right size…” he opens his hands like he’s explaining something that would be rational.

I laugh. I can’t help it. “Not for you, they’re not.”

“Flattery will not get you anywhere, Miss Smith.”

“I already have a free pass into your panties after dinner, Mr. Jones. I expect my flattery to get me everywhere and then some.” I sip my wine again with a smug look on my face.

Sean’s expression shifts from neutral to that lazy sultry look that’s so damn hot. “Where exactly is the
and then some
. It sounds titillating.” He strokes his chin, drawing my eye to his lips as he does it.

“Check my preference sheet. It’s recently been updated.”

Sean’s smirk falters, but he puts it back. The movement is so fast that I’m not sure I saw it. Maybe I just hope that I did. “Is that so?”

I nod and tap my finger nail once against my wine glass. “You can titillate anything you want. No restrictions. No hang ups.”

Sean just stares at me. After a moment, he asks, “Why the change in pace?”

I avert my gaze and trace my finger around the curve of the glass. “Why not? I mean, that is if you’re willing to. Unless, you’re only into fake relationship kind of sex…” Sean stares at my lips like he wants to devour them. He doesn’t speak.

“Oh, come on,” I say, leaning closer to him. I take his tie between my fingers and feel the silky fabric with my thumb. Sean looks at my hand and slowly returns his gaze to my face. “You’ve got to have some fetish or kinky desire, something that you
need
.” I say the last word slowly, wrapping my lips around the syllables.

Sean sits perfectly still, like he’s under a spell. It breaks when the waiter comes back and puts our food down on the table. Sean lifts his fork. He doesn’t talk about my offer. Instead, he points at me with a fork and says, “Eat.”

Dinner progresses in silence. I don’t like eating with him. It feels too informal, too personal. He knows what food I like. The meal on my plate wasn’t listed on the menu. It’s a salty sweet lover’s paradise with sweet sundried cranberries, sprinkles of feta cheese, and pork so savory that it melts in my mouth. There’s some kind of sweet glaze over the meat. I could die. It’s perfectly delicious. I chew slowly, wishing that Sean’s thoughtfulness didn’t appeal to me, but it does.

After dinner, Sean stands and takes my hand, pulling me up. With my heels on, I can look directly into his eyes. They captivate me and swallow me whole. The floor of my stomach falls away. I suck at this. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this and not be affected by him. Sean tells the waiter to send up the desserts in an hour or so. He takes my hand and leads me to the elevators.

Someone tries to come in with us, but Sean says, “Sorry, better catch the next one.” He holds up his hand until the doors close a second later. We’re alone.

I glance at him like he’s lost his mind. Sean grins wickedly and reaches past me. He pulls the stop button and the elevator goes dark. Sean presses into me and my back slams into the wall. Sean’s hands run over my sides as he leans in, pinning me in place. My breath catches in my throat. The darkness in the tiny room chokes me. Panic slide up my throat.

Sean whispers in my ear, “I’m sorry, but you seriously think you can tell me that you’re wearing nothing beneath this skimpy little dress and not make me hard the instant you say it? Feel me, Avery. That’s what you do to me.” Sean tilts his hips and presses into my leg. I feel his hard length press against me from under the constraints of his slacks.

I’m breathing harder and faster than usual. I hate elevators. I can’t breathe. The first time Sean stopped it, we started moving again two seconds later, but this terrifies me. Beads of sweat form on my face. I suck in a jagged breath, trying not to scream.

Sean has me pressed against the wall, which makes it worse. I can’t see him. I can’t move. Voice shaking, I plead, “Stop.”

Sean drops my hands and before I know it, my palms are against his chest and I’m pushing him away. Sean steps back. I feel a vacuum of cold air fill his place. He must push the button back in, because the lights flicker on and we start moving again. Nervously, I tuck my hair behind my ear. I wish I could shrink into the corner and disappear. My heart is still pounding like I’m going to die. Elevators are like big caskets. When they stop, it feels like there’s no air. My heart nearly exploded. It’s not sexy, it’s terrifying. And then Sean pinned me. I gasp, thinking that I’m going to be sick.

Sean gazes at me with a strange look on his face. Desire still swims in his eyes. His affection for me doesn’t diminish, the way I thought it would. After watching me for a second, Sean says, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you are claustrophobic.” His eyes are burning a hole in my face, demanding that I meet his gaze.

When I look up, I can’t breathe. Sean is so intense, so attractive. He lures me in and I never had a chance. “I’m not,” I lie. No one’s realized this about me. I hate it that Sean does. I try to break the gaze, but I can’t.

“Then what upset you?” When I don’t answer he steps closer to me. “Was it the way I touched you?” I shake my head. I know where he’s going with this.

Swallowing hard, I answer. “I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.”

Sean nods and seems to accept that as my answer. It isn’t until later that I found out that he didn’t accept it at all.

CHAPTER 13

Sean unlocks the door to the penthouse. I follow him into the room. My heart still beats too fast, too hard. When Sean throws his keys onto the hallway table, he follows me into the room. Taking my hand, he leads me to the center of the room. Sean closes the space between us and presses his body against mine. He starts to sway slightly, like we’re dancing. I wrap my arms around him and hold on loosely. His hands slip over the back of my dress. I feel his fingers cup my butt before finding the hem of the dress insanely close. Sean’s hands smooth over the outside of my dress and he looks at me. I know he’s aroused. I don’t have to feel his pants, I can see it in his eyes.

My heart thumps in my chest when he looks at me like that. My entire body responds to him and prickles. I want to feel his hands slip over my skin.

Sean seems to read my mind. Without breaking eye contact, he slides his hands down my sides, feeling my little black dress. When he reaches the hem, his hands move under the fabric. He pulls me closer and slides his hands around back, feeling my bare ass. He responds instantly. I can feel his dick pressing into my belly. The sensation warms me in a way that makes my insides pulse. Why do I react to him? Can’t I just let him fuck me and not care?

The thoughts vanish along with every other logical thing in my brain. Sean dips his head to my neck and finds the place that makes me weak. He presses our bodies together, still swaying his hips gently against mine. One hand is firmly holding my butt and squeezes hard while the other drifts around to the front. He lowers his hand between us and dips his fingers between my legs. The response is instant. I moan and fall into him. I can’t stand when he does that to me, but Sean makes me remain where I am.

“I expect you to stand here and do what I say,” his voice is deep, commanding. It makes me want to obey him. I shiver, wondering what he’s going to ask. “Pull up your skirt.”

I inch the fabric up until he tells me to stop. My bottom is revealed in all its naked glory. Sean’s eyes darken and fill with a carnal gaze that makes me too hot. “Legs apart.” I shift my feet. “More.”

I move again and now they are shoulder’s width apart. Sean kneels in front of me. He presses his face against the V in my legs, breathing in deeply. He stares at my pussy for a moment, like he’s trying to control himself, but he fails. Sean dips his head and licks the seam of my lower lips. I nearly jump. “Stay still, Smith,” he scolds me.

To make sure I don’t move this time, Sean holds onto my hips. When he lowers his head and licks me, every inch of my body flares to life. I gasp as his tongue strokes my sensitive folds. A spark ignites somewhere in my core and I want more. I need more. I hate how he does this to me, but I let him. Sean detected the parts of me that respond the most. That spot on my neck, I didn’t even know it was there. It’s nearly all the way around on my back, but Sean found it. One kiss there makes me so weak and so turned on. It’s hard to not want sex when he kisses me there.

And now, this sexy man is on his knees at my feet doing the most divine things to me. I can barely stand. One more sweep of his tongue and my knees buckle. Sean stands and takes me over to the bed. That’s when things change. He removes his belt and binds my wrists together. He explains what he’s doing, what he needs. “You’re right. I didn’t call Black to play house with someone. I need something. I want this.” His breaths are jagged. My heart races faster. I let him tie my hands before I realize what he’s saying. Looking in my eyes, he asks, “Tell me no now if you can’t do this.”

“I don’t know what you’re doing,” I confess, feeling afraid and stupid. My heart slaps against my ribs so fast that I think I’m going to stroke out.

Sean’s eyes are so dark. Whatever he held back the last few times he was with me is coming forward. “I want to tie you down and have my way with you. I want you at my mercy. I want you to fight back.”

I look into his eyes. I don’t understand. “You want to rape me?” That can’t be what he means, but after I say it, I see the look on his face. I know it’s what he wants. My heart pounds harder, faster. “Sean—”

“Say no or yes. Nothing else. You asked what I wanted. This is what I want.” His eyes penetrate me. There’s a desperation in them. It tells me that he’s barely in control of himself. I nod slowly. Tension lines Sean’s neck. His hands tighten into fists. “Say it. I have to hear you say yes. I don’t want to hurt you, but I might. Sex is power. I need to feel that right now. Avery,” he breathes my name like he can’t imagine taking another breath if I say no, “tell me what you want.”

Sex is power. He needs to feel like he has some control over his life. I look down at my hands knowing how this is going to make me feel. I hate being pinned down. If he ties me up, I‘ll scream, but that’s what he wants—complete power over another person. He’s so fucked up.

And so am I, because I say, “Yes.”

I don’t have to say the word twice. Sean grabs me and throws me down on the bed. I try to roll away, but can’t. Sean stretches my tethered hands above my head, straddling me as he moves across my body. Fear pulses through me. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. He reaches over the side of the bed and grabs something—a rope—and ties my hands down. I know he can’t stop and I don’t want to make him, but I’m scared. I don’t know why. He’s made love to me several times.
This is not love.
It was never love.

I twist and kick out at him. Sean grabs each foot and ties them to each bed post so that my legs are splayed. I’m face down with my butt hanging over the side of the bed. Sean moves slowly toward me. I want to tell him to stop. I want him to stop and say he loves me. I want something besides this, but this is what I offered.