The Art of Life (64 page)

               
“Can you not behave yourself?” I
inquire, trying to not smile.

               
“Never,” Jeremy responds.

               
The waiter appears next to us,
and starts to set our drinks down.
 
When
he is done, he looks at us.
 
“Have you
decided on your entrees this evening?”

               
“Yes,” Jeremy replies.
 
“She is going to have the filet mignon,
medium well please.”

               
Looking at me, the waiter asks,
“Soup or salad?”

               
“Salad,” I answer.
 
“With Italian dressing,
please.”

               
He nods and looks at Jeremy,
“And for you sir?”

               
“I will have the steak and
lobster, please.
 
I would like my steak
medium, please, and ranch for my dressing,” Jeremy replies.

               
“Very well,” the waiter says,
taking our menus.
 
“I will put your order
in right away.”

               
“Thank you,” Jeremy retorts.

               
When the waiter walks away, I
say, “Thanks for ordering for me.”

               
“No problem.
 
You will enjoy this, I know it,” Jeremy
declares.

               
We smile at each other and then
are quiet.
 
My eyes drift across the
restaurant.
 
“I didn’t even know they had
restaurants where people danced anymore.”

               
“Would you like to go dance?”
Jeremy inquires.

               
My eyes nearly bulge out of my
head.
 
“No!” I gasp.
 
“I have never danced with a guy in my entire
life.
 
The last thing I am going to do is
dance in front of people!”

               
“Oh come, I am not going to
waltz with you, just simple dancing.”

               
 
I vigorously shake my head.
 
“No, I would be too embarrassed.”

               
“Alright,” Jeremy laughs
lightly.

               
“Do you know how to waltz?” I
ask.

               
He smiles and nods.
 
“Yes I do.”

               
“That would be fun to learn,” I
say.
 
“I would probably trip over my own
feet.”

               
“I think you could do it just
fine.
 
Have you ever danced at all?”

               
Trying not to giggle, I reply,
“Only in my room, by myself.”

               
“Well then, I will have to take
you dancing,” Jeremy notes.

               
I put my napkin on my lap.
 
“Kent said he wants to take me to the club.”

               
“Yeah, we had talked about
that.
 
Once you are alright with going
out, we will do that.”

               
Fiddling with the scarf on my
neck, I say, “When this heals.
 
I think
it will be fun.”

               
“It will be,” Jeremy
declares.
 
He reaches across the table
and takes my hand.
 
“I promise to show
you as many things as I can.
 
You need to
be shown the things that you have missed.”

               
“Is that why we are here?” I
ask.

               
He nods and then grins.
 
“Yes and no.
 
Yes, I wanted you to experience this, and no, I really wanted steak and
lobster, but either way, you are the only one I wanted to bring.”

               
“That’s sweet,” I murmur,
looking down at the table.
 
He just rubs
his thumb on my hand.
 
After that, we just
talk about normal stuff.
 
I tell him how
I think I just opened
Pandora’s box
with Sonya, but he
says how proud he is that I am starting to stand up to her.

               
Dinner is so awesome.
 
I have never had food this good before.
 
Jeremy has me try his lobster.
 
“Oh
my gosh
,” I
moan.
 
“That is really good.”

               
“Here,” he replies.
 
“Take some.”
 
He cuts me off a portion and puts it on my plate.

               
“Thank you,” I whisper.
 
He is so nice to me.
 
I still don’t understand why.

               
We finish dinner and the waiter
brings the bill.
 
Jeremy sticks his
credit card in the folder.
 
The waiter
comes back and takes it.
 
“Did you enjoy
yourself?” Jeremy asks.

               
“Oh yes, thank you so much.
 
Dare I ask how much the bill was?”

               
Shaking his head, Jeremy
answers, “That is not anything you need to worry about.
 
I am just happy that you had a good
time.
 
We should get you home
though.
 
I don’t want you being too tired
for school in the morning.”

               
“Yeah, that is probably a good
idea,” I reply.

               
Shortly after that we leave.
 
The drive home is quiet but nice.
 
When we get out of the car, it’s even colder
than when we left.
 
I quickly run up to
the apartment steps.
 
I hate being cold.
 
Jeremy comes sauntering up behind me.
 
“Chilled?”
   

               
“Just a little,” I stutter.

               
“Then let’s get you
inside.”
 
He opens the door and we walk
in.
 
It is nice and warm.
 
I sigh happily.
 

               
Taking off my jacket, I say, “I
am going to get ready for bed.”

               
“Sounds good,” Jeremy replies.

               
I dart into my room.
 
I desperately want to put on a pair of warm
pajamas. Quickly, I do and sigh, “Much better.”
 
A little while later, I walk back out into the hallway, I hear music,
classical music to be exact.
 
I go into
the living room, to find Jeremy standing there.
 
“What are you doing?” I ask.

               
“We have a little bit before you
have to go to sleep, so I am going to give you an experience.”

               
“Umm, okay,” I reply.
 
“What is that?”

               
He extends his hand and says,
“Come here.”
 
Cautiously, I walk over to
him.
 
Jeremy grabs a hold of me and pulls
me against him.
 
“You are going to
dance.”

               
“In my
pajamas?”
I laugh.

               
“Yes, you are very alluring in
your flannel jammies,” Jeremy teases.
 
I
can’t help but blush.
 
I really need to
learn to stop doing that.
 
“We are going
to keep it simple.
 
Just follow my lead.”

               
I look up at him.
 
“No waltzing, right?”

               
“No, not this
evening.
 
We are going to keep it
simple.”
 
Jeremy starts to move and I go
with him.
 
Bashfully, I look away.
 
We are up against each other, and even though
we are touching each other all the time, for some reason this
feels
different.

               
We dance around for quite some
time.
 
Jeremy touches me very
softly.
 
We drift even closer to each
other.
 
I don’t do it on purpose, but
pretty soon, we are pressed up against each other.
 
Jeremy takes my arms and puts them around his
neck.
 
This feels a lot more intimate
than I thought it was going to.
 
He
presses his face into my hair and kisses me gently.

               
My heart is beating fast and
hard.
 
I close my eyes and place my face
into him.
 
I breathe in his scent.
 
It sends shivers down my spine.
 
Suddenly, it’s a little overwhelming.
 
I pull back from him.
 
“What’s wrong?” He whispers.

               
“Nothing,” I murmur.
 
“I should probably go to bed.”

               
Jeremy stops and looks down at
me.
 
“
Mmm
, are
you alright?”

               
“Yeah,” I reply, stepping
completely away from him.
 
“I just don’t
want to be tired in the morning.”

               
His eyes stare at me
tenderly.
 
Putting his hand on the side
of my face, Jeremy bends over and kisses me softly.
 
“Thank you for being a great date this
evening.”

               
With my breath caught in my
throat, I quietly say, “Thank you for everything.”

               
“Sweet dreams Isabelle,” Jeremy
retorts, pulling his hand away.

               
“Night,” I reply.
 
Turning I walk back to my room.
 
When I shut my door, I lean my back against
it.
 
Oddly, I feel a little
different.
 
I pause and just stare ahead
of myself.
 
This feeling in my chest, I
don’t know what it is.
 
Finally, I shake
my head and go to bed.

               
The next couple of weeks go bye
quickly.
 
Jeremy, Kent, Cassandra or Josh
picks me up from school every day.
 
I think
it’s a little silly, but Jeremy insists.
 
He does live too far to walk, but I tell him there is a thing called a
bus.
 
I don’t even get a response from
him.
 
We go through our daily routines
without getting in each other’s way.
 
Living with him isn’t as weird as I thought it would be.
 
It’s actually nice to have someone around who
is of sound mind.

               
Then one day I wake up.
 
It’s Friday, so I am excited to have the
weekend off.
 
I get out of bed and go to
get a cup of coffee.
 
I walk into the
kitchen to find Jeremy leaning against the counter.
 
I say, “Good morning!”
Cheerfully.

               
He doesn’t even look at me, and
hums, “
Mmhmm
.”

               
“Is there something wrong?” I
ask.

               
“Nope,” he articulates sharply.

               
I kind of stand there, staring
at him.
 
Slowly I go over and get a cup
of coffee.
 
He doesn’t move.
 
He just continues to stare at the
ground.
 
It is really awkward.
 
I stir in my sugar and look at him.
 
“Are you sure there is nothing wrong?”

               
“No Isabelle, I am fine,” he states
matter-of-factly.

               
“Did I do something wrong?” I
ask hesitantly.

               
Jeremy’s eyes look up at
me.
 
“No, you did nothing wrong.
 
I am going to get ready for work.”
 
With that he walks away.

               
My heart falls down in my
chest.
 
What did I do?
 
Why is he so angry? I have never seen him
angry.
 
The rest of the morning is very
tense.
 
The air is thick between us.
 
I don’t say anything.
 
I just keep quiet.
 
The car ride is even worse.
 
He doesn’t say a word to me.

               
When we get to my school, I
whisper, “See you later.”

               
“I am going out tonight,” is all
the reply that I get.
 
“Will you be
alright on your own, or do you want someone to sit with you?”

               
“I think I will be okay on my
own,” I quietly reply.
 
“It’s been long
enough.”

               
He nods curtly.
 
“I will see you in the morning sometime.
 
I will leave money on the counter if you need
anything.”

               
“I should be fine,” I
murmur.
 
“See you tomorrow.”

               
His eyes turn to look at me and
they seem lost.
 
I frown, but still get
out of the car.
 
When he drives away, I
just stand there for a while staring off into the distance.
 
What in the world did I do?

               
The day goes by without
event.
 
Jeremy doesn’t text or
call
me at all, which is odd, because he usually does every
day.
 
A heaviness
sits in my chest because I feel like something is terribly wrong.
 
When I get home that night, he is nowhere to
be seen.
 
I find money on the counter,
but no note.
 
I spend the evening doing
my homework, though I can barely concentrate.
 
Part of me wants to stay up until he gets home, but I think he would get
mad about that, so sometime before eleven, I go to sleep.

               
Somewhere in the night, I am
woken up by a loud thump.
 
It makes me
jump up in bed.
 
Since I am home alone,
it kind of scares me.
 
There is some
noise coming from the living room.
 
I sit
in my bed for a while, trying to think of what I am going to do.
 
My stupid self left my cell phone on the
kitchen table.
 
Hearing even more noise,
I finally get up.
 
If I am going to die,
I would rather see how it’s going to happen.

               
Taking a deep breath, I open my
bedroom door.
 
All the lights are off, so
I really can’t see anything.
 
Creeping my
way down the hallway, I suddenly flick on the living room light.
 
Then I squeak.
 
Jeremy and some girl are kissing each other
by the door.
 
“OH MY
GOSH!”
 
I yell.
 
“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”
 
I quickly flick off the light.
 
With my heart pounding out of my chest, I
dart back to my room and slam the door.

               
I put my hand on my face in
mortification.
 
I did not just see
that!
 
Part of me hurts.
 
Like there is pain in my chest.
 
Am I having a heart attack?
 
I go and sit down on my bed.
 
Tears start to well up in my eyes and I hang
my head.
 
What in the hell is wrong with
me?
 
Really Isabelle, what did you think
was going to happen?
 
Sooner or later
this was going to occur.
 
I didn’t think
I would have to see it though.
 
My chest
heaves as it tightens even more.

               
Suddenly, there is a knock on
the door.
 
I don’t answer.
 
I just sit there, staring at it.
 
A few seconds later, there is another knock,
this time heavier.
 
“What?” I
exclaim.
 
“I am going back to
sleep!”
 

               
Jeremy opens my door and lets it
swing open.
 
He is leaning in the doorway
with his hands on the frame.
 
“You are
not in bed,” he articulates.
 
“It’s hard
to go to sleep, when you are not in bed.”

               
“I am so sorry,” I whisper,
standing up.
 
“I didn’t know!
 
I heard noise, and had to check.
 
I mean, after everything I have been through,
you can’t blame me!”

               
“No,” he says quietly.
 
“You had every right to come out there.
 
I am sorry you had to see that.”

               
The pain I feel is
excruciating.
 
“Go back out there,” I
hiss.
 
“I promise to just go to
sleep.
 
Go, do….whatever it was you were
going to do.”

               
“She is gone now,” Jeremy says
softly.

               
That makes me groan.
 
“I am so sorry Jeremy!
 
I didn’t mean for that to happen!
 
I had no idea.
 
From now on, I will stay in my room.
 
Even if I am going to die, I will stay in my
room.”

               
He snorts and laughs.
 
“I sent her home.”

               
“Why?” I ask.
 
“Never mind!
 
It’s none of my business!”

               
It’s dark, but I see his eyes
look up at me.
 
They look so sad.
 
“Have you ever just needed the touch of
someone Isabelle?”

               
Okay, now that pisses me
off.
 
“Jeremy,” I snap.
 
“Really?
 
You are asking ME that?”

               
“Just the feel
of someone?”

               
“Jeremy!” I yell.
 
“I have never felt the touch of anyone!
 
Never, my whole life!
 
The only person who has ever shown me any
affection is you!
 
So, yes, I have wanted
very much the touch of someone, but I don’t have that option.
 
So sorry, I don’t sympathize.
 
Why did you send her home if that’s what you
needed?
 
I don’t care what you do.”

               
There is silence as he stares at
me.
 
The air is very thick and
tense.
 
“She was empty.
 
Her touch was empty.”

               
“Are you drunk?” I ask.

               
“Maybe,” he says, “just a
little.”

               
Rolling my eyes, I just say, “Oh
geez.”

               
“Isabelle, I just NEED to have
the touch of someone.
 
Someone
who matters.”
 
Jeremy just looks
dead at me.

               
My heart stops and I don’t even
know what to say.
 
My mouth opens and
shuts.
 
“What am I…
.
”
I start.
 
Before I know it, Jeremy rushes
at me.
 
He plants his lips on mine and
kisses me.
 
It takes me a second because
I am taken so off guard.
 
Jeremy starts
off soft but as soon as I kiss back, he eagerly meets me.
 
The kisses become passionate.
 
Now, I have never experienced this before, so
I tense up.
 
He brings his hands up and
holds my face with them.
 
My hands somehow
find themselves wrapping around him.
 
We
press up against each other.
 
My body is
feeling things it has NEVER felt before.
 
Part of me feels like my legs are going to give out.
 
Jeremy parts my lips with his and kisses me
in a way he never has before.
 
I actually
take a quick breath in.
 
Okay, wasn’t
expecting that.
 
What am I doing?
 
What am I doing?
 

               
It’s like a heat starts to build
up inside of me.
 
I pull Jeremy tight
against me.
 
He finally pulls his hands
away and pushes me back.
 
I gasp lightly.
 
Walking with me, he backs me up to the
bed.
 
Not being able not to, I sit
down.
 
Reaching down, Jeremy takes his
shirt off.
 
Really, okay, in this
situation, that does not help on calm me down.
 
“Jeremy,” I barely whisper.

               
“Hmmm,” he hums, pushing me
down.
 
His lips find mine again.
 
I can’t help
myself,
I lose it and kiss him back.
 
Jeremy
grabs me by the waist and shoves me up farther on the bed.

               
When he pulls back and starts to
kiss my neck.
 
I stutter, “Jeremy, what
are you doing?”

               
He playfully bites me.
 
“I am enjoying myself.
 
Are you not?”

               
“Oh no,” I whimper.
 
“I am.”

               
“Good,” he breathes against my
skin.

               
My eyes actually roll into the
back of my head, but when his hand starts to pull at my clothes, they shoot
back open.
 
“Jeremy!” I yell.

               
He props himself over me.
 
“Yes?”

               
“I am not going to do that with
you!” I shout.

               
Raising his eyebrow, Jeremy
asks, “You won’t do what with me?”

               
“Have sex,” I hiss.

               
Letting his head hang, Jeremy
sighs.
 
“Isabelle, I may be drunk but I
am not stupid.
 
I would not have sex with
you right now.
 
That was not my
intention.”