The Art of Life (67 page)

               
Kaitlin said she didn’t want to
go.
 
She lost all her hair and never
really left the house, but in the end, she did go get a dress.
 
I was excited, but the day before Prom, she
got really sick.
 
Her parents were
worried about her leaving home.
 
Kaitlin
was devastated.
 
I think she was really
looking forward to going.

               
So, that night I talked to her
parents, and the next day, we gave her
her
own
prom.
 
I showed up in my tux.
 
Her mom got her ready in her dress.
 
They had their chef make us a huge,
extravagant dinner.
 
Kaitlin really
couldn’t eat, but it was the experience we wanted her to have.
 
Later, I took her into their ballroom and we
danced.
 
It was all slow dancing because
she was so weak, but we danced.
 
It was
great.
 
She was so happy.

               
Afterwards, we sat outside on
the veranda.
 
We talked and she just
beamed.
 
As we were talking, Kaitlin took
my hand gently.
 
I just smiled at
her.
 
She nervously bit her lip and then
looked up at me.
 
I asked her what was
wrong.

               
She instantly blushed and looked
away.
 
Finally, she whispered, ‘I am
dying.’

               
I snapped and said, ‘No you are
not, you are going to beat this.’

               
‘We know I am not,’ Kaitlin whispered
quietly.
 
‘That isn’t what I want to talk
about.’

               
Slightly aggravated, I said,
‘What did you want to talk about?’

               
‘You are my best friend and I
love you,’ she sighed.

               
‘I feel the same way,’ I
replied.

               
With her beautiful eyes, she
just looked at me.
 
Kaitlin whispered, ‘I
want to ask you the biggest favor in the world, and you can say no.
 
I would understand if you said no.’

               
‘I will do anything for you, you
know that,’ I reassured her.

               
Kaitlin looked off towards the
horizon.
 
‘There is something I want to
do before I die.’

               
‘What?
 
We can do anything,” I urged.

               
Taking in a deep breath, she
quickly spit out, ‘I want to be with someone before I die.’
 
Her eyes turned to me.
 
‘And I want it to be you.’

               
I kind of stared at her for a
while because I had no idea what she meant.
 
Then it hit me.
 
‘Oh!’ I gasped.
 
‘You want us to BE together?’

               
‘I have already missed so much,
and if I die, there is even more things I will never get to do.
 
I want to experience that one thing.’

               
Obviously, I said, ‘Of
course.
 
I would gladly do that with
you.’
 
Now, I was still a virgin at this
point, too, and she knew that.
 
We kind
of awkwardly sat there for a while.
 
She
just held my hand.
 
Gently I rubbed the
back of it with my thumb.
 
‘When do you
want to do this?’

               
‘Soon,’ she replied.
 
‘I want to do it before I get worse.’
 
Kaitlin started to giggle.
 
‘I would actually like to enjoy it, if we are
going to do it.’
                                        

               
That made us both laugh, even
though it was really sad.
 
‘I want it to
be special,’ I finally said.
 
‘Not
tonight.’

               
She giggled again.
 
‘Not with my parents around.’

               
So, we planned ahead.
 
Her parents were going to be gone for a night
and I told them I would stay in the guest room and take care of her.
 
We were both 17 at this point.
 
So leaving us on our own wasn’t that big of a
thing.
 
Kaitlin had been feeling
better.
 
We were all really hopeful.
 
That night we sat on her bed and just held
each other’s hand.
 
Now, we had never
kissed, never done anything, but I loved her none the less.
  
So, carefully I put my hand on her face and
gently placed my lips on hers.

               
I won’t get into details because
that is obviously a private thing, but it was perfect.
 
I was afraid of hurting her though.
 
So, it was just soft and intimate.
 
That night we fell asleep in each other’s
arms.
 

               
The next day, we were just
happy.
 
It was something really special
that we had…….”
 
Jeremy pauses and takes
a deep breath.

               
“Are you okay?” I ask.
 
“You don’t have to tell me anymore.”

               
He looks up at me and shakes his
head, “I am alright.”

               
“Kaitlin sounds wonderful,” I
whisper.

               
“She was.
 
She was everything to me, the only family
that I had.
 
Actually, her family was the
only family that I had.
 
We were
teenagers, so that wasn’t the only time that we were together.
 
I think her parents knew, but I don’t think
they cared.
 
She was feeling so much
better.
 

               
Our senior year came around, and
we thought Kaitlin was going to beat it.
 
For my birthday that year, she and her family presented me with the
GTO.
 
Kaitlin knew I had wanted one.
 
It needed to be fixed up, but her dad planned
for us to do that together.
 
Richard was
like a father to me.
 
Kaitlin was so happy
to see me excited.
 
We spent the next few
weeks, planning for our futures.

               
Then one day, she just
fell.
 
I caught her in my arms and
Kaitlin just laid there.
 
She put her
hand on my face and whispered, ‘I love you.’

               
I quickly replied, ‘I love you,
too.’
  
She then just slipped into a coma
right in my arms.
 
We rushed her to the
hospital and she was put in hospice.
 
They said they didn’t know why she took such a hard turn.
 
I stayed with her.
 
I slept in hospital chairs next to her
bed.
 
That’s why the night I slept in the
chair by you, I made the comment that I was used to it.
 

               
Kaitlin held on for three
months.
 
She never woke up again.
 
I would talk to her and tell her about
school.
 
I was there every day.
 
I diligently did my homework, because I knew
that is what she would have wanted.
 
Then
one night, I kissed her hand gently, and just prayed to God.
 
I asked him to not let her suffer anymore.
 
That I was ready to let her go, and a few
hours later, she passed.”
 
Jeremy stops
and stares at the wall.

               
Unbeknownst to me, I feel tears
run down my cheeks.
 
I quickly wipe them
away.
 
“I am so sorry Jeremy.”

               
He takes in a deep breath and
chokes out, “Her funeral was tough.
 
I
knew it was her time to go, but it was still hard.
 
To my shock, a lot of kids from school showed
up.
 
Part of me was happy that they
remembered her, and part of me was furious, because none of them cared enough
to see her when she was sick.

               
A week or so went by, when her
parents called me and asked if I would come to the house.
 
So, I did.
 
We did the usual, how are you doing conversation.
 
Then they sat me down, and said, ‘Kaitlin
asked us to do something if she ever passed away.’

               
Hesitantly, I asked, ‘What was
it?’

               
Her mom reached out her hand and
took mine.
 
‘She asked us to leave you
her trust.
 
Kaitlin wanted you to have it.’

               
My jaw dropped and I shook my
head.
 
‘I can’t take that.’

               
‘We want you to have it,’ her
father said.
 
‘She wanted you to go to
school, to be able to do the things she wouldn’t be able to do.
 
Kaitlin gave us one message for you, that you
should live your life for both of you.’
 

               
I instantly started to cry.
 
In the end, the trust was transferred to
me.
 
It was five and a half million
dollars, but I have never really touched it.
 
I finished my senior year and graduated.
 
The day after I graduated, I sat there and thought about her.
 
I didn’t know what to do.
 
All I knew was that I couldn’t stay around
there anymore.
 
Everything reminded me of
her.
 
So, like I told you, I took a dart
and threw it at a map of the US.
 
It
landed here.

               
The next day I went to her
parents’ house.
 
I told them I was
leaving, that I couldn’t stay around anymore.
 
Her mom begged me not to go, but I told her I had to.
 
She demanded that I write her and tell her
where I was, and I did when I got here.”

               
That makes me gasp.
 
“Those letters that I saw, they were from her
parents!”

               
“Yeah,” Jeremy sighs.
 
“At first I wrote them and told them what I
was doing.
 
When her mom would write me
back, it would tear me apart every time.
 
So one day, I stopped writing and stopped reading.
 
The letters still come every week.
 
I have a stack of, I don’t know how
many.
 
I just can’t think about it, but I
still think of her every day.”

               
“I am so sorry Jeremy.
 
You shouldn’t be using that money to help me.
 
She left that for you!”

               
He quickly sits up and looks at
me.
 
“No, she would have wanted me to
help you Isabelle.
 
Kaitlin would have
adored you.
 
I think you would probably
have become best friends and shoved me to the side.
 
You remind me so much of her.”

               
My mind kind
of stops at that.
 
“Are you…..am
I…replacing her?
 
Is that why you are
friends with me, because I remind you of her?”

               
Jeremy gets this shocked look on
his face.
 
“No,
Isabelle, no!
 
At first, yes, you
reminded me of her.
 
That’s why I wanted
to help you, but that is not why I am friends with you!
 
You are similar, but so different, too.
 
She was timid.
 
You are a pistol when you want to be.
 
You have different senses of humor.
 
But, you both are talented beyond
recognition.
 
You are my best friend, but
it is not like that!
 
I am not trying to
replace her with you!
 
Please, never
think that.”
 
He puts his hand on the
side of my face.
 
“Please, you have to
understand.”

               
I place my hand on top of
his.
 
“No, I do.
 
Thank you for sharing that with me.”