The Art of Life (80 page)

               
“Okay,” I draw out.
 
Reading, I scan down the lines.
 
I burst out laughing.
 
“These are too funny, oh
my
gosh
.
 
Okay, you need to do
either:
 
Are you from Tennessee, because
you are the only ten I see, or
was
that an earthquake
or did you just rock my world.”

               
“Tennessee,” Kent says.

               
“Earthquake,” Cassandra retorts.

               
Jeremy smirks, “Tennessee wins.”

               
“Excellent,” Josh says, with a
HUGE smile.
 
“Now Isabelle, pick the
victim.”

               
“I have to pick the girl?” I
ask, flabbergasted.
 
Josh just nods his
head.
 
Turning I look out into the crowd
of tables.
 
“I have no idea who to pick,”
I mumble.

               
Putting his lips by my ear,
Jeremy
murmurs,
“Pick the prettiest girl…I mean, other
than yourself.”

               
My cheeks burn
from blushing.
 
Scanning the
crowd, I point to a girl.
 
“
That chick in the horrible leopard print
dress.”

               
“Easy,” Josh shouts.
 
He takes a big swig of his beer and walks
over to the girl.
 
I kind of stand there
with my mouth open watching this.
 
He
casually struts up behind the girl.
 
With
the funniest smile, he leans in and whispers in her ear.
 
The girl quickly turns to him with a look of
disgust.
 
Josh just wiggles his eyebrows
and she shoves him away.

               
We all roar with laughter.
 
Josh grabs at his chest and dramatically
walks away.
 
I turn around to
Jeremy.
 
“That was hilarious.”

               
“It is,” he replies.
 
“This is what we do.
 
Are you embarrassed by us yet?”

               
“Never,” I say, cheerfully.
 
“It’s your turn.”

               
Jeremy gives me a surprised
look.
 
“You want me to go hit on a girl?”

               
“Only because I am going to give
you a horrible pick-up line,” I tease.
 
“Let’s see, what to do, what to do.
 
Oh, I got
it,
my mom won’t be home for hours.”

               
With a smile, Jeremy is like,
“That’s the one you want me to do?”
 
I
nod.
 
“Alright, who?”

               
Cassandra jumps up and
down.
 
“I want to pick.”
 
She taps her chin and looks out into the
crowd.
 
Finally, she points to a
brunette.
 
Jeremy shakes his head and
makes his way over there.
 
We all watch
with much amusement as he talks to this girl.
 
Leaning in, he obviously says the line.
 
The girl gives him the most confused look.
 
Jeremy just winks at her.
 
This chick just stands there in shock.
 
She has much the same reaction as the other
girl, shoving Jeremy away from her.

               
I laugh my butt off.
 
We go through many more pick-up lines.
  
Such as:
 
Do you know karate, because your body is really kicking; I am not drunk,
I am intoxicated by your beauty;
 
I know,
I know, I am
fricking
fabulous; and my favorite, Hey,
do you have any band-aids, no, why, because I skinned me knees falling for you.

               
Finally, we are almost through
the list.
 
I can’t even breathe, I am
laughing so hard.
 
Josh suddenly slams
his hand on the table.
 
“I forgot one,
but it’s specifically for Jeremy.
 
I bet
money that he can actually get this one to work.”

               
“Huh?” I ask.

               
“He needs to say, your lips look
lonely, would they like to meet mine?” Josh exclaims.
 
“I read that one and was like Jeremy can pull
that off!”

               
My chest tightens and I don’t
even say anything.
 
Jeremy is standing
next to me.
 
I see his face kind of
freezes.
 
His eyes drift over in my
direction and then he says, “I don’t know Josh, that one is pretty dumb.”

               
“No it is not!
 
Come on, you know you can make that one
work!”

               
Jeremy stares at his friend and
doesn’t say anything.
 
“Come on,” Kent
starts in, “you need to do that one.”

               
“Kent,” Cassandra says under her
breath.

               
“What?” He laughs.
 
“He can totally pull it off.
 
I would put money on it, too.
 
I sure can’t do it, you would slap me.”

               
“That’s true,” Cassandra
replies.
 
Her eyes look at me and seem
concerned.

               
No one says anything, so I
finally whisper, “You should do it.”

               
“What?” Jeremy snaps, looking at
me.

               
My heart sinks, but I try to put
on a smile.
 
“This is what you do
right?”
 
I pause and nearly choke on my
words.
 
“Why wouldn’t you want to kiss a
girl?
 
Don’t you have a kissing quota?”

               
“Isabelle,” he replies
softly.
 
“I don’t need to do this.”

               
“YES, you do!” Josh
exclaims.
 
“Go.
 
Isabelle can pick the girl.”

               
Cassandra and Jeremy shout,
“No!” at the same time.

               
Josh gives them a bewildered
look.
 
“Why not?”

               
“I wouldn’t know who to pick,” I
reply.
 
“You know, it would be like him
picking a boy for me to kiss.”

               
“I bet you could get a kiss out
of a guy.
 
We should do that instead!”
Josh says cheerfully.

               
Jeremy stands up straight, “No,
I am going to do it.
 
It will be
funny.
 
Pick the girl.”

               
Scanning the crowd, Josh points
to a girl.
 
“The
blonde.”

               
I turn and look.
 
She is gorgeous: perfect hair, perfect body,
beautiful blue eyes.
 
Great.
 
Jeremy sighs and looks at me.
 
I
advert
my gaze,
looking out into the crowd.
 
He turns and
walks over to the girl.

               
As he takes each step, my heart
falls farther and farther into my stomach.
 
Finally, Jeremy comes up to her at the bar.
 
He leans against it in front of her.
  
She eyes him up and then smiles.
 
They converse a little bit and then Jeremy
leans in by her and whispers one line.
 
The girl hesitates, which makes me sigh in relief, but like a kick to
the stomach, she leans in and kisses him.
 
I think I am going to vomit, because it’s not just some little kiss.

               
You can hear Josh and Kent start
cheering in the background.
 
I have to
look away.
 
I grab the table to steady
myself.
 
You can’t react this way!
 
YOU CAN’T!!!
 
You need to breathe, just breathe.
 
Looking up I ask Josh, “Where is the bathroom?”
               

               
“Downstairs,” he replies.
 
“Do you need to visit it?”

               
“Yeah,” I reply, a little
shakily.

               
Cassandra steps forward and
says, “I will take her.”

               
“No!” I say, probably too
harshly.
 
“I will go find them.”

               
“Nonsense,” Josh
interjects.
 
“We use the private
bathroom, not the club one.
 
I will go
with
ya
.
 
It
seems that Jeremy will be preoccupied for a while.”

               
 
I can’t even look over there.
 
The
images running through my head are bad enough.
 
“Let’s go then,” I declare, trying to be cheery.

               
Josh comes around the table and
takes my hand.
 
He pulls me through the
crowd.
 
I didn’t realize we would walk
right past Jeremy and this chick.
 
I make
sure I don’t look at him, so I press myself against Josh, and we walk down the
steps.

               
When we get down to the first
floor, we push through the crowd on the dance floor.
 
I hold onto Josh for dear life.
 
I just need the touch of someone right now.
 
We get to the other end of the club and I
stop.
 
There is a very, long, long line
outside of the girl’s bathroom.
 
“I don’t
have to wait in that, right?” I ask.

               
“
Pffff
, no,” Josh replies.
 
“Down the same hallway is the door that leads
to the back offices.
 
There is a really
nice bathroom back in my brother’s office area.”

               
“Oh good,” I sigh.

               
We start to walk forward.
 
As we pass the line, I suddenly hear, “Hey!
No cutting in line.”

               
I turn and groan.
 
Sonya is standing there with Jessica and
Daniella
.
 
Sonya’s
eyes suddenly get huge.
 
“ISABELLE!”

               
“Yup,” I reply, standing up
straighter.
 
Yeah, I look good, what are
you going to say now?

               
Josh turns around.
 
“Friends of yours?”

               
“No,” I articulate harshly.

               
“That isn’t Jeremy,” Jessica
says.

               
I roll my eyes, “What an astute
observation.”

               
“My name is Josh!” My friend
interjects.

               
“You are as cute as Jeremy,”
Daniella
states.

               
Getting a big grin, Josh
replies, “Thank you, that’s a compliment.”
 
He leans in by my ear.
 
“Who are
these chicks?”
               

               
Turning around, I wrap my arms
around his neck and whisper, “They are my tormentors.
 
They make my life hell.”

               
“Got it,” he murmurs back.
 
I turn back around, but Josh keeps his arms
on me.
 
“Well, Isabelle and I are going
to go to the bathroom.”

               
“You can’t cut in line,” Sonya
snaps.

               
Kind of bouncing, Jessica moans,
“Yeah, I have to go and am not letting ANYONE in front of us.”

               
“Umm, we don’t need these
bathrooms,” Josh replies.
 
“We have a
private bathroom, which we will be going to use now.”
 
He pulls me against him and bites my
neck.
 
That makes me squeal and giggle.

               
“What private bathroom?” Sonya
snarls.