The Art of Love (The Windswept Saga) (43 page)

He thought that just a trace of exasperation escaped from her lungs before a smile returned to her face.  “You’d have to ask him about
that one.  He’s a pretty easy-going guy.  I’m the stubborn partner in this marriage.  He loves me in spite of my faults—or maybe because of them.”

“You changed his life,” Chandler surmised.

“That’s what he says.”

He cleared his throat.  “I felt a lot better about myself when I was with her, than I do now that we’re separated.”

She gave him an anxious look.  “Crisis of confidence?”

“I don’t think so,” h
e shrugged.  “I just…I was more complete.  I don’t know.  It’s hard to talk about with my mother.”

“What’s hard to talk about?” Chase asked, sweeping into the room.  Bryn smiled at her son sympathetically.

“Your youngest and I were just having a conversation about the birds and the bees,” she joked.

“Oh,” Chase answered in a sing-song manner.
   

“I said some things to Taylor that I shouldn’t have.  Assumed a lot that wasn’t true.  Now I’m giving us a few days apart.”

Chase nodded.  “You’ve been enjoying ranching with Mark this week, right?”

“Yeah, Dad.  Some people go to a spa to relax—I put on my chaps and get covered in dirt.”  Chase replied with a knowing grin.  “
It’s just temporary, though.  Sooner or later I’ve gotta head back to town and take my lumps.”

Chase hooked an arm around Bryn’s shoulders and held her close.  “Just don’t go in there with guns blazing, son.
”

“What do you mean?”

“Listen more than you talk.  Pretend you’re even-keeled when you’re not.”  His eyebrow lifted solemnly.  “Was there yelling on your part?”

“On both our parts,” Chandler admitted grudgingly.

“Been there.”  He gave Bryn a light squeeze.  “Why don’t you help me set the table?  We’ll talk man-to-man.”

“Get the set with blue rings around
the edges,” Bryn hastened to add.  “Brings out that nice hue of your eyes.” 

Chase smiled lovingly at her, then gathered up the plates and handed them to Chandler.  They worked in concert, setting three places with flatware and blue-and-white-striped clot
h napkins.  “The engagement ring,” he murmured.

“Still locked up,” Chandler assured him.  “I don’t know.  If I’d asked her already, went with my gut, we may not be in this situation.”

“One thing’s for sure.  Love’s always unpredictable, in ways good and bad.”  Bryn placed a large, steaming dish in the middle of the table.  Both men lingered over the scent.

“Mom, that beef smells amazing,” Chandler noted.  “It also seems like a lot of food for just the three of us.”

Bryn waved off his suggestion.  “You’re looking a little scrawny for my tastes, and I know you’re throwing yourself headlong into roping practice.  Eat without reservations, son.”

Chase nudged him playfully in the stomach before lowering his voice to a whisper.  “Some folks say the way to a man’s
heart is through his stomach,” he said.  “I’ve never been one to argue with them.”  He pulled out Chandler’s chair and pointed his head toward it.  “Dig in, cowboy.” 

***

With Chandler still not back in the gallery on Friday, Taylor worked up the courage to visit Alison.  She’d left Liam with her mother and come into town on her own, using the briefest of errands as an excuse.  It felt strange now to be standing out on the sidewalk, peering nervously through the glass.  A few customers milled about inside, inspecting wares and holding up shirts to their chests.  She sucked in several breaths, lifted her chin, and pushed past the door.  She made a beeline for the counter, catching Alison’s gaze.  She looked relieved to see her, stopping herself short from running out and embracing her.  Taylor moved to the far side, away from the clear frontage where customers paid for their purchases.

“I wanted to call you,” Alison whispered in aside.  “I also didn’t want to involve myself.”

Taylor tried to assuage her with a nod of understanding.  “How is he, Alison?  It’s not like him to just close down the gallery and abandon his daily routine.”

“He’s getting by,” she replied.  She ceased long enough to make small-talk with a customer, maintaining a friendly ease as she ta
bulated the purchases. Taylor could see that she had a knack for making every person who shopped there feel special, whether they were there for repeat business or simply a tourist passing through.  With business concluded for the moment, she continued in a soft voice.  “He’s been spending most of his time with Mark.  Look for one and you’ll usually find the other.  I guess they’ve been doing a little work on the house, but mostly they’re playing cowboy.  A role they are both good at,” she finished with a wink.

“I’ve thought about calling
.”

Alison nodded in acceptance of that.  “
That’s another thing Chandler has in common with both CJ and Mark—they can engage the silent treatment like no other man you will ever meet.  It may be their finest weapon.”

“Kind of
makes you wonder how any of them ever got a woman,” she jested.

Alison laughed a little too loud, startling her patrons.  “Genetics allowed them to be born better looking than they deserved.”  A
wink accompanied her smirk.  “You didn’t hear it from me, but I’m about ninety-five percent certain Chandler will be in Monday morning.  If you can resist the urge to text or call, you’d be able to meet face-to-face.”

“I don’t know…”

“Give yourself the weekend to think about it.  I may come in a few minutes late just to ensure your privacy.  That’ll be our little secret.”

“Of course,” Taylor answered conspiratorially.  “
It’ll take me that long to work up the nerve.”

“I don’t think you’ll be the only
one,” she replied.

Taylor felt a sense of relief as she headed home
, thinking about the things she needed to tell him Monday morning.  She needed to come clean about so much, make sure he understood her feelings—and if that didn’t work, maybe she could stick her hand inside his shirt and play his favorite hand of cards.  She parked and stepped into the house quietly, not wanting a confrontation or debriefing with her mother at that moment.  She found Liam watching television attentively with Alice, his lips forming a smile but making no move to open.

“Mom, I can’t believe
you’ve got him watching your story, too.”

“Shh!” she whispered.  “The doctor is talking.”

Taylor moved into the room and lowered her face close to Liam’s.  “This airs every weekday in the hospital but I’m always too busy to watch.  Looks like Raven is pregnant.”

They came to a commercial break.  “Mom, is there any chance she’s carrying Mitch’s baby?”

“An outside chance,” Alice explained with all the alacrity of someone versed in sports betting.  “Would you like to make another bet?”

“Oh, no,” Taylor quickly
rejoined.  “I’ve seen this one before.  Raven’s sister is
also
pregnant, some interloper does a baby swap, a paternity test shows the swapped babies have the wrong DNA when there was no hanky-panky going on and it blows the couples all to hell.  Good drama, but a little more than I’m interested in digesting right now.”

Alice smiled back at her.  “Suit yourself.”  

Liam glanced at her a touch more sympathetically.  “Rough day?”

“I’ve had worse,” she whispered.  “I’m going to take a nap.  I really want to m
entally prepare myself for next week.”

“Rest as much as you’re able.  I’ll keep your mom company.”

“Thank you,” she said, laying a hand on his shoulder.  “You are a lifesaver.”

He shook his head in a self-effacing manner.  “Unless I can get you smiling aga
in, and at the mention of Chandler’s name, I won’t think that way about myself.”

Taylor pulled her lips into a small frown.  “Easier said than done.”

Chapter 28

He still wasn’t sure about his course of action.  He told himself that he would’ve felt more confident skiing away from an avalanche.  Nevertheless, and in spite of his better judgment, he requested this meeting with no confirmation she would actually come.  His text message to her had been short and to the point.

“
Monday morning, my office—will you meet me?”  And her reply had been equally succinct.

“Yes.”

He had no way to know she’d planned to be there all along, with or without his invitation.  When she entered his office door, he stood, his body ramrod-straight, his eyes expectant and his lips open with the ghost of a question.

“
I used my key,” she informed him.  The chestnut hair was swept over her head, framing the right side of her face.  He recognized the yellow-checked shirt as one he’d insisted she buy while they were shopping.  She took his breath away, and it took every ounce of strength in him to not wrap her up in a bracing hug.  Instead he waited for her to take the seat closest to him.

“It’s fine,” he assured her as he sat down.  “I didn’t want to open this morning until I had a chan
ce to see you.”  He cleared his throat uneasily.  “How’ve you been?”
“Lost without you,” she freely admitted.  “It’s been interesting.  Mom’s roped Liam into watching TV with her every day.  I think he’s working remotely, too, even though he’s on vacation.”

“He’s a good guy,” Chandler observed.

“He is.”

“Taylor…”

She lifted a hand to quiet him.  “Chandler, I’ve been dishonest with you.”  His heart fell at the utterance of those words.  “I should have been upfront but I guess it was too chicken.”

“Don’t be
hard on yourself,” he said, unclenching his jaw.  “You’ve a pretty tough girl.”

Her body stiffened in anticipation of the disclosure.  “I overheard you tell your brother that you didn’t want to marry me out of a sense of obligation.  I wasn’t eavesdropping
—I respect you too much to do that—but I heard it by accident.”

“How much did you hear?”

“That was the extent of it,” she promised, placing a hand to her chest for emphasis.  “I felt guilty for hearing that much.”

His jaw tightened again.  “That’s the prob
lem with eavesdropping,” he said ruefully.  “You miss out on the rest of the conversation.”  His gaze turned baleful.  “How many times did we make love after that?  How many nights did you lay in my arms and tell me your most private thoughts?  And I did the same damned thing…”  He looked away from her, fixing his eyes to a spot on the floor.  “What is this about, Taylor?  Trying to assuage your guilt?  Trying to let me down easy?  Done.”  He stared into her eyes, wishing he could turn the cold green flecks warm again.  “I’ve got a pretty thick skin.  I love my brother, but growing up with him, I had to develop one pretty fast.  It won’t hurt that much.  I have prior experience.”

She gave him a tight frown.  “This sounds disturbingly like a job interview.” 
She wove her fingers together nervously and glanced down at her thumbs.  “I felt you pulling away from me, Chandler.  I think you were, and still are, too scared of your own feelings.  That’s fine.  There are no easy answers in life.”  She looked up and met his eyes.  “And I could live happily with you for a hundred years if that was all of it.  But I don’t want to just be with you because you have some misguided ideas about love.  I’m going to be flat-out honest with you, lay all of my cards on the table. I’d love to be a part of your family.  I have a deep, abiding affection for everyone—even your brother—but I won’t make you unhappy just to make myself a part of your life.”  She stood to leave, and was at the door when his voice stopped her.

“Taylor, if
this is the end…”  She turned and their gazes locked.  “…then I have to tell you the truth.  I am obligated to love you.  I’m obligated because my heart tells me to.  If that’s not good enough for you, or if I’ve been too much of a jerk, I understand if you don’t want this to continue.  If you still want a job here, it’s yours.  You don’t have to worry about seeing me with another woman.”  She watched his blue eyes grow wet and sad.  “It’s going to take me a very long time to get over you.”

Her face was unr
eadable, her expression impassive.  He couldn’t tell if she was about to throttle him, kiss him, or burst into tears.  Before any of the above could take place, she turned and closed the door behind her with a decisive thud.  His heart fell to the floor, where it lay in a million pieces, irreparable for all time.  He cursed himself for being so stupid.  He cursed Mark for pouring his bourbon down the drain.  And he cursed fate most of all, for having played such a cruel trick with his heart.

***

Taylor ambled through the house like a zombie, following the sound of his voice.  It was a true miracle she’d made it home alive.  She’d driven there in a haze of tears and regret, cursing herself the whole way for being such a damned fool.  “Why?” she had moaned gutturally. “Why did I leave him?”  She could see the forgiveness in his eyes, but then he’d flipped it off as easily as a light switch.  He’d never had a poker face, and his expression betrayed everything in his head, but she was too stubborn and proud to throw her arms around his neck and say, “I forgive you—now forgive me for being a fool.”  Now she found Liam sitting alone in the kitchen, talking into his phone.