The Art of Seduction (46 page)

parents and which, it must
changes in him. She still addressed him familiarly, spicing the conversation
be admitted, they fall for.
with brazen comments, but now he returned them, delighting in this kind
The same is true for the
of saucy banter. He assumed the same lively mood that she strategically
masses, who imitate their
forced on herself. At first he had dressed in military uniform, or in his Ital
leader, bear his name and
repeat his gestures. They
ian suits. Now he dressed casually, even going barefoot, conforming to the
bow to him, but at the
casual style of their relationship. One night he remarked that he liked the
same time they are
color of her hair. It was Clairol, blue-black, she explained. He wanted to
unconsciously baiting a trap

to hold him. Great
have the same color; she had to bring him a bottle. She did as he asked,
ceremonies and
imagining he was joking, but a few days later he requested her presence at
demonstrations are just as
the palace to dye his hair for him. She did so, and now they had the exact
much occasions when the

multitudes charm the
same hair color.

leader as vice versa.

The book,
Sukarno: An Autobiography as Told to Cindy Adams,
was pub—SERGE MOSCOVICI,
THE AGE

lished in 1965. To American readers' surprise, Sukarno came across as re
OF THE CROWD,
TRANSLATED BY

markably charming and lovable, which was indeed how Adams described J . C . W H I T E H O U S E

him to one and all. If anyone argued, she would say that they did not know him the way she did. Sukarno was well pleased, and had the book distributed far and wide. It helped gain sympathy for him in Indonesia, where he
My sixth brother, he who
was now being threatened with a military coup. And Sukarno was not
had both his lips cut off,
surprised—he had known all along that Adams would do a far better job
Prince of the Faithful, is

called Shakashik.
•
In his
with his memoirs than any "serious" journalist.
youth he was very poor.

One day, as he was

begging in the streets of Interpretation.
Who was seducing whom? It was Sukarno who was doing
Baghdad, he passed by a

splendid mansion, at the
the seducing, and his seduction of Adams followed a classical sequence.
gates of which stood an
First, he chose the right victim. An experienced journalist would have re
impressive array of
sisted the lure of a personal relationship with the subject, and a man would
attendants. Upon inquiry

my brother was informed

have been less susceptible to his charm. And so he picked a woman, and
Enter Their Spirit • 223

one whose journalistic experience lay elsewhere. At his first meeting with
that the house belonged to
Adams, he sent mixed signals: he was friendly to her, but hinted at another
a member of the wealthy
and powerful Barmecide

kind of interest as well. Then, having insinuated a doubt in her mind (Per-
family. Shakashik
haps he just wants an affair?), he proceeded to mirror her. He indulged her
approached the door-
every mood, retreating every time she complained. Indulging a person is a
keepers and solicited alms.
form of entering their spirit, letting them dominate for the time being.

•
"Go in," they said,

"and our master will give

Perhaps Sukarno's passes at Adams showed his uncontrollable libido at
you all that you desire."
•

work, or perhaps they were more cunning. He had a reputation as a Don
My brother entered the
Juan; failing to make a pass at her would have hurt her feelings. (Women
lofty vestibule and
proceeded to a spacious,

are often less offended at being found attractive than one imagines, and
marble-paved hall, hung
Sukarno was clever enough to have given each of his four wives the im-
with tapestry and
pression that she was his favorite.) The pass out of the way, he moved fur-
overlooking a beautiful
garden. He stood

ther into her spirit, taking on her casual air, even slightly feminizing himself
bewildered for a moment,
by adopting her hair color. The result was that she decided he was not what
not knowing where to turn
she had expected or feared him to be. He was not in the least threatening,
his steps, and then
advanced to the far end of

and after all, she was the one in control. What Adams failed to realize was
the hall. There, among the
that once her defenses were lowered, she was oblivious to how deeply he
cushions, reclined a
had engaged her emotions. She had not charmed him, he had charmed her.
handsome old man with a
What he wanted all along was what he got: a personal memoir written by a
long beard, whom my
brother recognized at once

sympathetic foreigner, who gave the world a rather engaging portrait of a
as the master of the house.
man of whom many were suspicious.

•
"What can I do for you,

Of all the seductive tactics, entering someone's spirit is perhaps the
my friend?" asked the old
man, as he rose to welcome

most devilish of all. It gives your victims the feeling that they are seducing
my brother.
•
When
you. The fact that you are indulging them, imitating them, entering their
Shakashik replied that he
spirit, suggests that you are under their spell. You are not a dangerous se-
was a hungry beggar,
the old man expressed the

ducer to be wary of, but someone compliant and unthreatening. The atten-
deepest compassion and
tion you pay to them is intoxicating—since you are mirroring them,
rent his fine robes, crying:
everything they see and hear from you reflects their own ego and tastes.

"Is it possible that there

should be a man as hungry

What a boost to their vanity. All this sets up the seduction, the series of ma-
as yourself in a city where
neuvers that will turn the dynamic around. Once their defenses are down,
I am living? It is, indeed, a
they are open to your subtle influence. Soon you will begin to take over the
disgrace that I cannot
dance, and without even noticing the shift, they will find themselves enter-
endure!" Then he
comforted my brother,

ing
your
spirit. This is the endgame.

adding: "I insist that you

stay with me and partake

Women are not at their ease except with those who take

of my dinner."
•
With this

the master of the house

chances with them, and enter into their spirit.

clapped his hands and

— N I N O N D E L ' E N C L O S

called out to one of the

slaves: "Bring in the basin

and ewer." Then he said to

my brother: "Come

Keys to Seduction

forward, my friend, and

wash your hands."
•

Shakashik rose to do so,

One of the great sources of frustration in our lives is other people's
but saw neither ewer nor
stubbornness. How hard it is to reach them, to make them see things
basin. He was bewildered
our way. We often have the impression that when they seem to be listening
to see his host make
to us, and apparently agreeing with us, it is all superficial—the moment we
gestures as though he were
pouring water on his hands

are gone, they revert to their own ideas. We spend our lives butting up
224
•
The Art of Seduction

from an invisible vessel and

against people, as if they were stone walls. But instead of complaining
then drying them with an
about how misunderstood or ignored you are, why not try something dif
invisible towel. When he
ferent: instead of seeing other people as spiteful or indifferent, instead of
finished, the host called out

to his attendants: "Bring
trying to figure out why they act the way they do, look at them through
in the table!"
•
Numerous
the eyes of the seducer. The way to lure people out of their natural in
servants hurried in and out
tractability and self-obsession is to enter their spirit.
of the hall, as though they

were preparing for a meal.

All of us are narcissists. When we were children our narcissism was
My brother could still see
physical: we were interested in our own image, our own body, as if it were
nothing. Yet his host
a separate being. As we grow older, our narcissism grows more psychologi
invited him to sit at the
cal: we become absorbed in our own tastes, opinions, experiences. A hard
imaginary table, saying,

"Honor me by eating of
shell forms around us. Paradoxically, the way to entice people out of this
this meat."
•
The old man
shell is to become more like them, in fact a kind of mirror image of them.
moved his hands about as
You do not have to spend days studying their minds; simply conform to
though he were touching

invisible dishes, and also
their moods, adapt to their tastes, play along with whatever they send your
moved his jaws and lips as
way. In doing so you will lower their natural defensiveness. Their sense of
though he were chewing.
self-esteem does not feel threatened by your strangeness or different habits.
Then said he to

Shakashik: " E a t your fill,
People truly love themselves, but what they love most of all is to see their
my friend, for you must be
ideas and tastes reflected in another person. This validates them. Their ha
famished."
•
My brother
bitual insecurity vanishes. Hypnotized by their mirror image, they relax.
began to move his jaws, to
Now that their inner wall has crumbled, you can slowly draw them out,
chew and swallow, as

though he were eating,
and eventually turn the dynamic around. Once they are open to you, it be
while the old man still
comes easy to infect them with your own moods and heat. Entering the
coaxed him, saying: "Eat,
other person's spirit is a kind of hypnosis; it is the most insidious and effec
my friend, and note the
excellence of this bread and

tive form of persuasion known to man.

its whiteness. "
•
"This

In the eighteenth-century Chinese novel
The Dream of the Red Cham-
man," thought Shakashik,

ber,
all the young girls in the prosperous house of Chia are in love with the

"must be fond of practical

jokes. " So he said, "It is,
rakish Pao Yu. He is certainly handsome, but what makes him irresistible is
sir, the whitest bread I have
his uncanny ability to enter a young girl's spirit. Pao Yu has spent his youth
ever seen, and I have never
around girls, whose company he has always preferred. As a result, he never
tasted the like in all my

life. "
•
"This bread," said

comes over as threatening and aggressive. He is granted entry to girls'

the host, "was baked by a

rooms, they see him everywhere, and the more they see him the more they
slave girl whom I bought
fall under his spell. It is not that Pao Yu is feminine; he remains a man, but
for five hundred dinars."

one who can be more or less masculine as the situation requires. His famil
Then he called out to one
of his slaves: "Bring in the
iarity with young girls allows him the flexibility to enter their spirit.
meat pudding, and let there

This is a great advantage. The difference between the sexes is what
be plenty of fat in it!"

makes love and seduction possible, but it also involves an element of fear

• . . .
Thereupon the host

moved his fingers as though
and distrust. A woman may fear male aggression and violence; a man is
to pick up a morsel from an
often unable to enter a woman's spirit, and so he remains strange and
imaginary dish, and

threatening. The greatest seducers in history, from Casanova to John F.
popped the invisible

delicacy into my brother's
Kennedy, grew up surrounded by women and had a touch of femininity
mouth.
•
The old man
themselves. The philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, in his novel
The Seducer's
continued to enlarge upon Diary,
recommends spending more time with the opposite sex, getting to
the excellences of the
know the "enemy" and its weaknesses, so that you can turn this knowledge
various dishes, while my

brother became so
to your advantage.

ravenously hungry that he

Ninon de l'Enclos, one of the greatest seductresses who ever lived, had
would have willingly died

definite masculine qualities. She could impress a man with her intense
Enter Their Spirit • 225

philosophical keenness, and charm him by seeming to share his interest in
for a crust of barley bread.
politics and warfare. Many men first formed deep friendships with her, •
"Have you ever tasted
anything more delicious,"

only to later fall madly in love. The masculine in a woman is as soothing to
went on the old man,
men as the feminine in a man is to women. To a man, a woman's strange
"than the spices in these
ness can create frustration and even hostility. He may be lured into a sexual
dishes?"
•
"Never,
encounter, but a longer-lasting spell cannot be created without an accom-
indeed," replied
Shakashik.
•
"Eat