The Art of Seduction (47 page)

panying mental seduction. The key is to enter his spirit. Men are often
heartily, then," said his
seduced by the masculine element in a woman's behavior or character.
host, "and do not be

In the novel
Clarissa
(1748) by Samuel Richardson, the young and de-
ashamed!"
•
"I thank
you, sir," answered

vout Clarissa Harlowe is being courted by the notorious rake Lovelace.
Shakashik, "but I have
Clarissa knows Lovelace's reputation, but for the most part he has not acted
already eaten my fill. "
•

as she would expect: he is polite, seems a little sad and confused. At one
Presently, however, the old
man clapped his hands

point she finds out that he has done a most noble and charitable deed to a
again and cried: "Bring in
family in distress, giving the father money, helping the man's daughter get
the wine!"
• . . . "
Sir,"
married, giving them wholesome advice. At last Lovelace confesses to
said Shakashik, "your
generosity overwhelms

Clarissa what she has suspected: he wants to repent, to change his ways. His
me!" He lifted the invisible
letters to her are emotional, almost religious in their passion. Perhaps she
cup to his lips, and made
will be the one to lead him to righteousness? But of course Lovelace has
as if to drain it at one gulp.
trapped her: he is using the seducer's tactic of mirroring her tastes, in this •
"Health and joy to
you!" exclaimed the old

case her spirituality. Once she lets her guard down, once she believes she
man, as he pretended to
can reform him, she is doomed: now he can slowly insinuate his own spirit
pour himself some wine
into his letters and encounters with her. Remember: the operative word is
and drink it off. He
handed another cup to his

"spirit," and that is often exactly where to take aim. By seeming to mirror
guest, and they both
someone's spiritual values you can seem to establish a deep-rooted harmony
continued to act in this
between the two of you, which can then be transferred to the physical
fashion until Shakashik,
feigning himself drunk,

plane.

began to roll his head from

When Josephine Baker moved to Paris, in 1925, as part of an all-black
side to side. Then, taking
revue, her exoticism made her an overnight sensation. But the French are
his bounteous host
notoriously fickle, and Baker sensed that their interest in her would quickly
unawares, he suddenly
raised his arm so high that

pass to someone else. To seduce them for good, she entered their spirit. She
the white of his armpit
learned French and began to sing in it. She started dressing and acting as a
could be seen, and dealt
stylish French lady, as if to say that she preferred the French way of life to
him a blow on the neck
which made the hall echo

the American. Countries are like people: they have vast insecurities, and
with the sound. And this
they feel threatened by other customs. It is often quite seductive to a people
he followed by a second
to see an outsider adopting their ways. Benjamin Disraeli was born and
blow.
•
The old man rose
in anger and cried: "What

lived all his life in England, but he was Jewish by birth, and had exotic fea-
are you doing, vile
tures; the provincial English considered him an outsider. Yet he was more
creature?"
•
"Sir" replied
English in his manners and tastes than many an Englishman, and this was
my brother, "you have
received your humble slave

part of his charm, which he proved by becoming the leader of the Conser-
into your house and loaded
vative Party. Should you be an outsider (as most of us ultimately are), turn
him with your generosity;
it to advantage: play on your alien nature in such a way as to show the
you have fed him with the
group how deeply you prefer their tastes and customs to your own.

choicest food and quenched

his thirst with the most

In 1752, the notorious rake Saltykov determined to be the first man in
potent wines. Alas, he
the Russian court to seduce the twenty-three-year-old grand duchess, the
became drunk, and forgot
future Empress Catherine the Great. He knew that she was lonely; her hus-
his manners! But you are
so noble, sir, that you will

band Peter ignored her, as did many of the other courtiers. And yet the ob-
226
•
The Art of Seduction
surely pardon his offence. "

stacles were immense: she was spied on day and night. Still, Saltykov man•
When he heard these
aged to befriend the young woman, and to enter her all-too-small circle.
words, the old man burst

He finally got her alone, and made it clear to her how well he understood
out laughing and said:

"For a long time I have
her loneliness, how deeply he disliked her husband, and how much he
jested with all types of
shared her interest in the new ideas that were sweeping Europe. Soon he
men, but no one has ever
found himself able to arrange further meetings, where he gave her the im
had the patience or the wit
to enter into my humors as
pression that when he was with her, nothing else in the world mattered.
you have done. Now,

Catherine fell deeply in love with him, and he did in fact become her first
therefore, I pardon you,

lover. Saltykov had entered her spirit.

and ask you in truth to cat

and drink with me, and to

When you mirror people, you focus intense attention on them. They

he my companion as long
will sense the effort you are making, and will find it flattering. Obviously
as I live. "
•
Then the old

you have chosen them, separating them out from the rest. There seems to
man ordered his attendants
be nothing else in your life but them—their moods, their tastes, their spirit.
to serve all the dishes

which they had consumed

The more you focus on them, the deeper the spell you produce, and the in
in fancy, and when he and
toxicating effect you have on their vanity.

my brother had eaten their

Many of us have difficulty reconciling the person we are right now

fill they repaired to the

drinking chamber, where
with the person we want to be. We are disappointed that we have compro
beautiful young women
mised our youthful ideals, and we still imagine ourselves as that person
sang and made music. The
who had so much promise, but whom circumstances prevented from real
old Barmecide gave
Shakashik a robe of honor
izing it. When you are mirroring someone, do not stop at the person they
and made him his constant

have become; enter the spirit of that ideal person they wanted to be. This
companion.

is how the French writer Chateaubriand managed to become a great se— " T H E TALE OF SHAKASHIK, ducer, despite his physical ugliness. When he was growing up, in the latter THE BARBER'S SIXTH BROTHER,"

eighteenth century, romanticism was coming into fashion, and many

TALES FROM THE THOUSAND

AND ONE NIGHTS,
TRANSLATED

young women felt deeply oppressed by the lack of romance in their lives. BY N.J. DAWOOD

Chateaubriand would reawaken the fantasy they had had as young girls of being swept off their feet, of fulfilling romantic ideals. This form of entering another's spirit is perhaps the most effective kind, because it makes people feel better about themselves. In your presence, they live the life of the person they had wanted to be—a great lover, a romantic hero, whatever it is. Discover those crushed ideals and mirror them, bringing them back to life by reflecting them back to your target. Few can resist such a lure.

Symbol:
The

Hunter's Mirror. The lark is a sa-

vory bird, but difficult to catch. In the field, the

hunter places a mirror on a stand. The lark lands in

front of the glass, steps back and forth, entranced by its own

moving image and by the imitative mating dance it sees per-

formed before its eyes. Hypnotized, the bird loses all sense of its
surroundings, until the hunter's net traps it against the mirror.
Enter Their Spirit • 227

Reversal

This desire for a double of

the other sex that resembles

us absolutely while still

In 1897 in Berlin, the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, whose reputation would
being other, for a magical
later circle the world, met Lou Andreas-Salomé, the Russian-born writer
creature who is ourself
and beauty who was notorious for having broken Nietzsche's heart. She
while possessing the
was the darling of Berlin intellectuals, and although Rilke was twenty-two
advantage, over all our
imaginings, of an

and she was thirty-six, he fell head over heels in love with her. He flooded
autonomous existence. . . .
her with love letters, which showed that he had read all her books and
We find traces of it in even

knew her tastes intimately. The two became friends. Soon she was editing
the most banal
circumstances of love: in

his poetry, and he hung on her every word.

the attraction linked to any

Salomé was flattered by Rilke's mirroring of her spirit, enchanted by
change, any disguise, as in
the intense attention he paid her and the spiritual communion they began
the importance of unison
and the repetition of self in

to develop. She became his lover. But she was worried about his future; it
the other. . . . The great,
was difficult to make a living as a poet, and she encouraged him to learn
the implacable amorous
her native language, Russian, and become a translator. He followed her ad-
passions are all linked to
the fact that a being

vice so avidly that within months he could speak Russian. They visited
imagines he sees his most
Russia together, and Rilke was overwhelmed by what he saw—the peas-
secret self spying upon him
ants, the folk customs, the art, the architecture. Back in Berlin, he turned
behind the curtain of
his rooms into a kind of shrine to Russia, and started wearing Russian peas-
another's eyes.
ant blouses and peppering his conversation with Russian phrases. Now the —ROBERT MUSIL, QUOTED IN

D E N I S DE ROUGEMONT,
LOVE

charm of his mirroring soon wore off. At first Salomé had been flattered
DECLARED,
TRANSLATED BY

that he shared her interests so intensely, but now she saw this as something RICHARD HOWARD

else: he seemed to have no real identity. He had become dependent on her for his own self-esteem. It was all so slavish. In 1899, much to his horror, she broke off the relationship.

The lesson is simple: your entry into a person's spirit must be a tactic, a way to bring him or her under your spell. You cannot be simply a sponge, soaking up the other person's moods. Mirror them for too long and they will see through you and be repelled by you. Beneath the similarity to them that you make them see, you must have a strong underlying sense of your own identity. When the time comes, you will want to lead them into your spirit; you cannot live on their turf. Never take mirroring too far, then. It is only useful in the first phase of a seduction; at some point the dynamic must be reversed.

Create Temptation

Lure the target deep into your seduction by creating the

proper temptation: a glimpse of the pleasures to come. As

the serpent tempted Eve with the promise of forbidden

knowledge, you must awaken a desire in your tar-

gets that they cannot control. Find that weakness

of theirs, that fantasy that has yet to be real-

ized, and hint that you can lead them toward

it. It could be wealth, it could be adventure, it

could be forbidden and guilty pleasures; the

key is to keep it vague. Dangle the prize before

their eyes, postponing satisfaction, and let their

minds do the rest. The future seems ripe with possi-

bility. Stimulate a curiosity stronger than the doubts

and anxieties that go with it, and they will follow you.

The Tantalizing Object

Some time in the 1880s, a gentleman named Don Juan de Todellas was