The Art of Seduction (53 page)

Who sleeps in the anus of

in working on his victim's mind. This is precisely where Cordelia's previous
Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion • 257

suitors have failed: they have begun by imposing themselves, a common
almighty Zeus?" \ And

mistake. We think that by being persistent, by overwhelming our targets
with that she unbound

from her breast \ An ornate

with romantic attention, we are convincing them of our affection. Instead
sash inlaid with magical
we are convincing them of our impatience and insecurity. Aggressive atten-
charms. \ Sex is in it, and
tion is not flattering because it is not personalized. It is unbridled libido at
Desire, and seductive \

work; the target sees through it. Johannes is too clever to begin so obvi
Sweet Talk, that fools even
the wise. . . . \ Hera was

ously. Instead, he takes a step back, intriguing Cordelia by acting a little
fast approaching Gargarus,
cold, and carefully creating the impression of a formal, somewhat secretive

\ Ida's highest peak, when

man. Only then does he surprise her with his first letter. Obviously there is
Zeus saw her. \ And when

he saw her, lust enveloped

more to him than she has thought, and once she has come to believe this,
him, \ Just as it had the

her imagination runs rampant. Now he can intoxicate her with his letters,
first time they made love, \

creating a presence that haunts her like a ghost. His words, with their im
Slipping off to bed behind
their parents' backs. \ He

ages and poetic references, are constantly in her mind. And this is the ulti-
stood close to her and said:
mate seduction: to possess her mind before moving to conquer her body.

\ "Hera, why have you left

The story of Johannes shows what a weapon in a seducer's armory a

Olympus? \ And where are

your horses and chariot?" \

letter can be. But it is important to learn how to incorporate letters in se-
And Hera, with every
duction. It is best not to begin your correspondence until at least several
intention to deceive: \ "I'm
weeks after your initial contact. Let your victims get an impression of you:
off to visit the ends of the
you seem intriguing, yet you show no particular interest in them. When
earth \ And Father Ocean

and Mother Tethys \ Who

you sense that they are thinking about you, that is the time to hit them
nursed and doted on me in

with your first letter. Any desire you express for them will come as a sur
their house. . .
. " \
And
prise; their vanity will be tickled and they will want more. Now make your
Zeus, clouds scudding

about him: \ "You can go

letters frequent, in fact more frequent than your personal appearances. This
there later just as well. \

will give them the time and space to idealize you, which would be more
Let's get in bed now ami

difficult if you were always in their face. After they have fallen under your
make love. \ No goddess or

woman has ever \ Made

spell, you can always take a step back, making the letters fewer—let them
me feel so overwhelmed
think you are losing interest and they will be hungry for more.

with lust. . . . \ I've never

Design your letters as homages to your targets. Make everything you
loved anyone as I love you

now, \ Never been in the

write come back to them, as if they were all you could think about—a
grip of desire so sweet. " \

delirious effect. If you tell an anecdote, make it somehow relate to them.
And Hera, with every
Your correspondence is a kind of mirror you are holding up to them—they
intention to deceive: \

"What a thing to say, my

get to see themselves reflected through your desire. If for some reason they
awesome lord. \ The

do not like you, write to them as if they did. Remember: the tone of your
thought of us lying down

letters is what will get under their skin. If your language is elevated, poetic,
here on Ida \ Ami making

creative in its praise, it will infect them despite themselves. Never argue,
love outdoors in broad

daylight! \ What if one of

never defend yourself, never accuse them of being heartless. That would
the Immortals saw us \

ruin the spell.

Asleep, and went to all the

A letter can suggest emotion by seeming disordered, rambling from one
other gods \Aud told
them? I could never get up

subject to another. Clearly it is hard for you to think; your love has un
\ And go back home. It
hinged you. Disordered thoughts are exciting thoughts. Do not waste time
would be shameful. \ But if

on real information; focus on feelings and sensations, using expressions that
you really do want to do

this, \ There is the bedroom

are ripe with connotation. Plant ideas by dropping hints, writing sugges
your dear son Hephaestus \

tively without explaining yourself. Never lecture, never seem intellectual or
Built for you, with good

superior—you will only make yourself pompous, which is deadly. Far bet-
solid doors. Let's go \

ter to speak colloquially, though with a poetic edge to lift the language
There and lie down, since

you're in the mood. " \

above the commonplace. Do not become sentimental—it is tiring, and too
258
•
The Art of Seduction

And Zeus, who masses the
direct. Better to suggest the effect your target has on you than to gush
clouds, replied: \ "Hera,
about how you feel. Stay vague and ambiguous, allowing the reader the
don't worry about any god
space to imagine and fantasize. The goal of your writing is not to ex
or man \ Seeing us. I'll
enfold you in a cloud so
press yourself but to create emotion in the reader, spreading confusion and
dense \ And golden not
desire.

even Helios could spy on

You will know that your letters are having the proper effect when your
us, \ And his light is the

sharpest vision there is."
targets come to mirror your thoughts, repeating words you wrote, whether in their own letters or in person. This is the time to move to the more

— H O M E R ,
THE ILIAD,

physical and erotic. Use language that quivers with sexual connotation, or,

better still, suggest sexuality by making your letters shorter, more frequent, and even more disordered than before. There is nothing more erotic than the short abrupt note. Your thoughts are unfinished; they can only be com
ANTONY: Friends,
pleted by the other person.

Romans, countrymen, lend

me your ears; \ I come to

Sganarelle to Don Juan: Well, what I have to say is . . . I

bury Caesar, not to praise

don't know what to say; for you turn things in such a

him. \ The evil that men

do lives after them; \ The

manner with your words, that it seems that you are right;

good is oft interred with

and yet, the truth of it is, you are not. I had the finest

their bones. \ So let it be

thoughts in the world, and your words have totally scram-

with Caesar. . . . \ I speak

bled them up.

not to disprove what

Brutus spoke, \ But here I

—MOLIÈRE

am to speak what I do

know. \ You all did love

him once, not without

cause. \ What cause

Keys to Seduction

withholds you then to

mourn for him? \ O

judgment, thou art fled to

brutish beasts, \ And men
We rarely think before we talk. It is human nature to say the first thing that comes into our head—and usually what comes first is some
have lost their reason! Bear
thing about ourselves. We primarily use words to express our own feelings,
with me. \ My heart is in
ideas, and opinions. (Also to complain and to argue.) This is because we are
the coffin there with Caesar,

\And I must pause till it
generally self-absorbed—the person who interests us most is our own self.
come back to me. . . . \
To a certain extent this is inevitable, and through much of our lives there is
PLEBEIAN: Poor soul! his
nothing much wrong with it; we can function quite well this way. In se
eyes are red as f i r e with
weeping. \ PLEBEIAN:

duction, however, it limits our potential.

There's not a nobler man

You cannot seduce without an ability to get outside your own skin and
in Rome than Antony. \
inside another person's, piercing their psychology. The key to seductive
PLEBEIAN: Now mark

him. He begins again to
language is not the words you utter, or your seductive tone of voice; it is a
speak. \ ANTONY: But

radical shift in perspective and habit. You have to stop saying the first thing
yesterday the word of
that comes to your mind—you have to control the urge to prattle and vent
Caesar might \ Have stood
your opinions. The key is to see words as a tool not for communicating
against the world. Now

lies he there, \ And none so
true thoughts and feelings but for confusing, delighting, and intoxicating.
poor to do him reverence. \

The difference between normal language and seductive language is like
O masters! If I were
the difference between noise and music. Noise is a constant in modern life,
disposed to stir \ Your

hearts and minds to
something irritating we tune out if we can. Our normal language is like
mutiny and rage, \ I should
noise—people may half-listen to us as we go on about ourselves, but just as
do Brutus wrong, and
often their thoughts are a million miles away. Every now and then their ears
Cassius wrong, \ Who,

you all know, are
prick up when something we say touches on them, but this lasts only until
Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion
•
259

we return to yet another story about ourselves. As early as childhood we
honorable men. \ I will not
learn to tune out this kind of noise (particularly when it comes from our
do them wrong. . . . \ But
here's a parchment with the

parents).

seal of Caesar. \ I found it

Music, on the other hand, is seductive, and gets under our skin. It is in-
in his closet; 'tis his will. \

tended for pleasure. A melody or rhythm stays in our blood for days after we
Let but the commons hear
have heard it, altering our moods and emotions, relaxing or exciting us. To
this testament, \ Which

(pardon me) I do not mean

make music instead of noise, you must say things that please—things that re-
to read, \And they would
late to people's lives, that touch their vanity. If they have many problems,
go and kiss dead Caesar's
you can produce the same effect by distracting them, focusing their attention
wounds \ And dip their

napkins in his sacred

away from themselves by saying things that are witty and entertaining, or
blood. . . . \ PLEBEIAN:

that make the future seem bright and hopeful. Promises and flattery are mu
We'll hear the will! Read
sic to anyone's ears. This is language designed to move people and lower
it, Mark Antony. \ ALL:
The will, the will! We will

their resistance. It is language designed for them, not directed at them.
hear Caesar's will! \

The Italian writer Gabriele D'Annunzio was physically unattractive, yet
ANTONY: Have patience,
women could not resist him. Even those who knew of his Don Juan repu-
gentle friends; I must not
read it. \ It is not meet you

tation and disliked him for it (the actress Eleanora Duse and the dancer
know how Caesar loved

Isadora Duncan, for instance) fell under his spell. The secret was the flow of
you. \ You are not wood,
words in which he enveloped a woman. His voice was musical, his language
you are not stones, but

poetic, and most devastating of all, he knew how to flatter. His flattery was
men; \ And being men,

hearing the will of Caesar,

aimed precisely at a woman's weaknesses, the areas where she needed vali
\ It will inflame you, it
dation. A woman was beautiful, yet lacked confidence in her own wit and
will make you mad. \ 'Tis
intelligence? He made sure to say that he was bewitched not by her beauty
good you know not that
you are his heirs; \ For if

but by her mind. He might compare her to a heroine of literature, or to a
you should, O, what

carefully chosen mythological figure. Talking to him, her ego would dou
would come of it? . . . \ If
ble in size.

you have tears, prepare to

shed them now. \ You all

Flattery is seductive language in its purest form. Its purpose is not to
do know this mantle. I

express a truth or a real feeling, but only to create an effect on the recipient.
remember \ The first time

Like D'Annunzio, learn to aim your flattery directly at a person's insecuri-
ever Caesar put it on. . . .

\ Look, in this place ran

ties. For instance, if a man is a fine actor and feels confident about his pro
Cassius' dagger through. \

fessional skills, to flatter him about his acting will have little effect, and may
See what a rent the

even accomplish the opposite—he could feel that he is above the need to
envious Casca made. \

have his ego stroked, and your flattery will seem to say otherwise. But let us
Through this the well-

beloved Brutus stabbed; \

say that this actor is an amateur musician or painter. He does this work on
And as he plucked his
his own, without professional support or publicity, and he is well aware that
cursed steel away, \ Mark
others make their living at it. Flattery of his artistic pretensions will go
how the blood of Caesar

followed it. . . . \ For

straight to his head and earn you double points. Learn to sniff out the parts
Brutus, as you know, was

of a person's ego that need validation. Make it a surprise, something no one
Caesar's angel. \ Judge, O

else has thought to flatter before—something you can describe as a talent or
you gods, how dearly

Caesar loved him! \ This

positive quality that others have not noticed. Speak with a little tremor, as if
was the most unkindest cut
your target's charms had overwhelmed you and made you emotional.

of all; \ For when the noble

Flattery can be a kind of verbal foreplay. Aphrodite's powers of seduc
Caesar saw him stab, \

Ingratitude, more strong

tion, which were said to come from the magnificent girdle she wore, in
than traitors' arms, \ Quite
volved a sweetness of language—a skill with the soft, flattering words that
vanquished him. . . . \ O,

prepare the way for erotic thoughts. Insecurities and nagging self-doubts
now you weep, and I

have a dampening effect on the libido. Make your targets feel secure and al-
perceive you feel \ The dint
of pity. These are gracious

luring through your flattering words and their resistance will melt away.
260
•
The Art of Seduction

drops. \ Kind souls, what

Sometimes the most pleasant thing to hear is the promise of something
weep you when you but
wonderful, a vague but rosy future that is just around the corner. President
behold \ Our Caesar's
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in his public speeches, talked little about spe
vesture wounded? Look
you here! \ Here is himself,
cific programs for dealing with the Depression; instead he used rousing
marred as you see until
rhetoric to paint a picture of America's glorious future. In the various leg
traitors.
ends of Don Juan, the great seducer would immediately focus women's at—WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, tention on the future, a fantastic world to which he promised to whisk
J U L I U S C A E S A R

them off. Tailor your sweet words to your targets' particular problems and fantasies. Promise something realizable, something possible, but do not make it too specific; you are inviting them to dream. If they are mired in dull routine, talk of adventure, preferably with you. Do not discuss how it will be accomplished; speak as if it magically already existed, somewhere in the future. Lift people's thoughts into the clouds and they will relax, their defenses will come down, and it will be that much easier to maneuver and lead them astray. Your words become a kind of elevating drug.

The most anti-seductive form of language is argument. How many

silent enemies do we create by arguing? There is a superior way to get people to listen and be persuaded: humor and a light touch. The nineteenthcentury English politician Benjamin Disraeli was a master at this game. In Parliament, to fail to reply to an accusation or slanderous comment was a deadly mistake: silence meant the accuser was right. Yet to respond angrily, to get into an argument, was to look ugly and defensive. Disraeli used a different tactic: he stayed calm. When the time came to reply to an attack, he would slowly make his way to the speaker's table, pause, then utter a humorous or sarcastic retort. Everyone would laugh. Now that he had warmed people up, he would proceed to refute his enemy, still mixing in amusing comments; or perhaps he would simply move on to another subject, as if he were above it all. His humor took out the sting of any attack on him. Laughter and applause have a domino effect: once your listeners have laughed, they are more likely to laugh again. In this lighthearted mood they are also more apt to listen. A subtle touch and a bit of irony give you room to persuade them, move them to your side, mock your enemies. That is the seductive form of argument.

Shortly after the murder of Julius Caesar, the head of the band of conspirators who had killed him, Brutus, addressed an angry mob. He tried to reason with the crowd, explaining that he had wanted to save the Roman Republic from dictatorship. The people were momentarily convinced—

yes, Brutus seemed a decent man. Then Mark Antony took the stage, and he in turn delivered a eulogy for Caesar. He seemed overwhelmed with emotion. He talked of his love for Caesar, and of Caesar's love for the Roman people. He mentioned Caesar's will; the crowd clamored to hear it, but Antony said no, for if he read it they would know how deeply Caesar had loved them, and how dastardly this murder was. The crowd again insisted he read the will; instead he held up Caesar's bloodstained cloak, noting its rents and tears. This was where Brutus had stabbed the great general, he said; Cassius had stabbed him here. Then finally he read the will, which
Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion
•
261

told how much wealth Caesar had left to the Roman people. This was the coup de grace—the crowd turned against the conspirators and went off to lynch them.

Antony was a clever man, who knew how to stir a crowd. According to the Greek historian Plutarch, "When he saw that his oratory had cast a spell over the people and that they were deeply stirred by his words, he began to introduce into his praises [of Caesar] a note of pity and of indignation at Caesar's fate." Seductive language aims at people's emotions, for emotional people are easier to deceive. Antony used various devices to stir the crowd: a tremor in his voice, a distraught and then an angry tone. An emotional voice has an immediate, contagious effect on the listener. Antony also teased the crowd with the will, holding off the reading of it to the end, knowing it would push people over the edge. Holding up the cloak, he made his imagery visceral.

Perhaps you are not trying to whip a crowd into a frenzy; you just want to bring people over to your side. Choose your strategy and words carefully. You might think it is better to reason with people, explain your ideas. But it is hard for an audience to decide whether an argument is reasonable as they listen to you talk. They have to concentrate and listen closely, which requires great effort. People are easily distracted by other stimuli, and if they miss a part of your argument, they will feel confused, intellectually inferior, and vaguely insecure. It is more persuasive to appeal to people's hearts than their heads. Everyone shares emotions, and no one feels inferior to a speaker who stirs up their feelings. The crowd bonds together, everyone contagiously experiencing the same emotions. Antony talked of Caesar as if he and the listeners were experiencing the murder from Caesar's point of view. What could be more provocative? Use such changes of perspective to make your listeners feel what you are saying. Orchestrate your effects. It is more effective to move from one emotion to another than to just hit one note. The contrast between Antony's affection for Caesar and his indignation at the murderers was much more powerful than if he had stayed with one feeling or the other.