The Ascendancy Veil (31 page)

It made sense to Kaiku then. ‘You want me to make you fertile.’

‘You can do this!’ Asara said, and there was naked hunger in her voice. ‘I have heard of the deeds you and your kind are capable of. I have seen Sisters bring men back from the brink of death, healing with their hands. I watched you save that Tkiurathi woman’s life just hours ago! You have the power to repair whatever is wrong with me.’

‘Perhaps,’ said Kaiku.

‘
Perhaps
?’ Asara cried.

‘I am not a god, Asara,’ Kaiku said. ‘I cannot create what is not there. I do not know what kind of changes Aberrancy has wreaked in you. What if you have no womb? I cannot give you one.’

‘Then look! Look inside! You can tell me!’ Asara was desperate now; her hopes had been vested in this for so long that the possibility of them being dashed was too much for her to take. For so long, lonely and empty; ever outcast, ever unable to fill the void that yawned inside her. There were none like she was, even among the Aberrants. In all ninety of her years, she had never found another. And it was Shintu’s cruellest trick indeed to make her ageless and yet rob her of the power to procreate.

But Kaiku’s brow was creased in a frown. ‘I will have to think on this, Asara.’

‘You
owe
me,’ Asara spat, her fear turning to fury. ‘I gave you a life; now you give me one!’

‘And what would you do with it, Asara?’ Kaiku asked. Her hair hung across one eye, but the other one regarded Asara steadily. ‘What would I be unleashing if I allowed more creatures like you into the world?’

‘It is the right of every woman! I was denied!’

‘
Are
you even a woman?’ Kaiku asked. ‘Were you one to begin with? I wonder.’ She had lapsed into the tone she used when she wore the make-up of the Sisterhood: stern, authoritative. ‘Perhaps the gods had a reason to deny you. Perhaps one of you is enough.’

‘Do not pronounce moral judgements upon me!’ Asara raged. ‘Not when you and your Red Order plot and scheme towards the throne. Your conscience is not unstained, Kaiku. Ask Cailin why your kind let the Weavers take the Empire. Ask her if hundreds of thousands, if
millions
of lives were worth sacrificing so that the Sisterhood could rise!’

Kaiku gazed at her levelly. ‘Perhaps I will,’ she said, and she turned and walked away. She could sense Asara’s hateful glare prickling against her nape, and was half expecting the spy to attack her out of sheer thwarted anger; but Asara let her go.

Kaiku let the quietude of the forest envelop her, broken only by the sinister ticks and taps in the distance. Once her mind was still, she began to consider what Asara had said.

They spent an uneasy night within the emyrynn village, but when dawn came they were still all there. None of them were in good shape, however. Terrifying dreams haunted them, and the early watches had been punctuated by the shrieks of waking men. Most gave up trying to sleep, too afraid of what lurked just beneath the skin of unconsciousness. Those that persevered caught snatches of slumber, a few minutes at a time, before awakening in a worse state than they had been before. Tempers were fraying among the men. They resented the forest and the spirits and so, lacking targets, they snapped at each other.

What was worse, it became clear soon afterward that they would not be going anywhere that day. Peithre had improved a little, but Phaeca had become sick. Kaiku talked with Doja, who admitted that it was foolhardy to go on with one of the Sisters down and the other one determined to stay. He broke the news to his men, sweetening it by pointing out that he believed they were safe from the forest in the emyrynn village.

Kaiku was dubious about this last statement, but it served her purpose. The soldiers accepted their fate with stoic expressions, though later there would be dissent amongst them. The spirits were bad enough, but the sleeplessness was getting to them too. There was something in this place that poisoned the mind, and they did not want to linger a moment more than necessary. She knew how they felt. There was no telling how much longer it would take them to get to the Xhiang Xhi, and every day there was a day back.

She visited Phaeca. Against Doja’s wishes, Phaeca had moved herself out of her tent and inside one of the emyrynn dwellings, where she had unrolled her sleeping-mat. It was warm and oddly sterile there, an irregularly shaped room with the curve of a tree bole as one wall. Protuberances of sap were moulded from parts of the floor and ceiling, things that could have been sculpture or which might have had a mundane and utilitarian purpose. A thin tunnel, too small for anything bigger than a mouse, opened out into the room. From what Kaiku could determine, it wound all the way up the tree until it was lost in the branches, but she could not imagine what it was for.

Phaeca was making little sense. She was babbling as if feverish, but she had no temperature, and though she was agitated she was not sallow. She slapped Kaiku’s hand away when it was laid on her cheek, and muttered unpleasant things about her as if she was not in the room. Kaiku knelt by her for a time, deeply concerned. There was no healing possible: she had defences to keep others out, even other Sisters. Besides, the more she studied her companion, the more Kaiku worried that the affliction was not physical at all. Her shrieks had been the loudest last night. Like Lucia, the forest was battering her, and Kaiku did not know how well her sanity would hold.

Gods, why did we ever come to this cursed place
? she thought to herself, but she already knew the answer to that one. They came here because it was their last chance.

She glimpsed the emyrynn a few times that day, flitting among the trees in the distance. Each time, she stared out into the blue and green folds of the forest and wondered about the nature of their curious hosts. She went to see Peithre, who was very weak but awake, and spoke with Tsata for a time. But he seemed odd to her today: there was something in his manner that she could not fathom, and eventually she gave up on trying and left him alone. The atmosphere in the camp depressed her, but she was stuck here, as they all were.

She took to wandering around the village, to give herself space to think. The charge laid on her by Asara was a heavy one. At least she knew now why Asara had followed her into the forest: she had an investment to protect. But even if Kaiku could do it, the question was:
should
she? Did she dare allow a being like that to procreate?

It was not the same to her as being asked to stop Asara having children. That she would never do. That was taking something away from her. But giving her the ability to breed seemed another matter entirely. It was action rather than inaction: every deed of her offspring, every result would be because of Kaiku.

What if they all grew with Asara’s abilities? What if they were all as deceitful as their mother? How could they fail to be? Gods, she would be making Asara the progenitor of a new race. A race of beings who could take on any face, any human form; the perfect spies, lethal mimics, with unguessable life-spans. Only the Sisters would be able to penetrate their disguise.

She caught herself. Her imagination was running away with her, perhaps. There was no guarantee that Asara’s off-spring would inherit her gift. And even if they did, there was no reason why they should become the beautiful and dreadful creatures that Kaiku envisaged. Asara’s nature would not necessarily be theirs.

But the possibility was there. She could not deny that.

She wanted to talk it over with Tsata. It was frustrating that he was so close by and yet she was oath-bound not to speak of it. She admired his incisive mind and his honesty. He would have been able to help her untangle the knots. He would have told her that action and inaction are the same in this matter, that if she was prepared to deny Asara the gift of fertility for fear of creating a race of monsters then she should be prepared to prevent her from conceiving too, and vice versa. He would have cut through the deceptions that she made for herself, the double standards and smokescreens of etiquette and belief. He would have told her that the real reason she was debating this was because she did not want the responsibility of having to make that choice.

She knew all this, but it did not make the deciding any easier.

Night stole across the land again, and this time there were no moons to leaven it.

The soldiers had come to dread the darkness. The prospect of sleep was worse than the exhaustion of being awake, and many were too afraid to even try; yet always they were dragged down towards unconsciousness. Sentries nodded at their posts; heads lolled, and their owners were startled awake with a cry as the nightmares leaped hungrily upon them. The forest was a place that tricked the eye anyway, but deprived of sleep as they were, they were constantly seeing movement and fleeting hallucinations.

‘We have to set out tomorrow,’ Doja had growled at Kaiku. ‘These men can’t take this any longer. We’ll carry Phaeca and the Tkiurathi woman if necessary.’

Kaiku had not flatly forebade it, but she was reluctant. In the end, she agreed that if Peithre’s condition improved overnight enough to safely move her, then they could fashion stretchers and set off again. She, too, was concerned about the state of mind of the party. Her
kana
-ministered metabolism meant that she was not so exhausted as the others, but she feared that accidents were bound to happen if there was much more of this. There were altogether too many rifles and jumpy trigger fingers in this camp.

But there was one ray of hope among it all: just after the last of the dusk had fled the sky, word came to Kaiku that Lucia was awake and lucid. Kaiku hurried to her, and found her outside her tent. She gave Kaiku a fleeting smile and invited her to walk. They wandered a little way from the camp, among the nacreous wonders of the emyrynn, and Kaiku was relieved to see that she was indeed clear-headed and attentive.

‘The Xhiang Xhi is not far,’ Lucia said.

‘Is that so?’ Kaiku asked in surprise. ‘We cannot have penetrated very deep into the forest yet.’

Lucia cast her a slyly amused look. ‘This is a place of spirits,’ she said. ‘We could walk forever and never reach the other side, or we could emerge there within an hour’s march. Distance is fluid here. Don’t you think it a coincidence that this village happened to be so close to where Peithre fell? In a forest this size, wasn’t that extraordinarily convenient?’

‘It had occurred to me,’ Kaiku admitted.

‘If the Xhiang Xhi did not want to be found, we would never find it,’ Lucia said. ‘But it does.’

‘Then why does it not appear? Why put us through this?’

‘I don’t know. The ways of the spirits are strange. Perhaps it’s testing us. Perhaps it’s curious about me, and wishes to study me first.’

Kaiku did not like that thought. ‘You could still turn back, Lucia,’ she said. ‘It is not too late.’

Lucia gave her a sorrowful look. ‘Oh, it is.
Far
too late.’ She looked away, out of the village through the dark trees and unfamiliar foliage. ‘Besides, if we turned back now we would never get out of the forest. The Xhiang Xhi wants to see me. It’s intrigued, I think. If not for that, we would not have survived even this long.’

‘If it wants to see you, why is it allowing us to be harmed?’ Kaiku asked rhetorically.

Lucia answered anyway. ‘It wants to see
me
,’ she replied. ‘The rest of you are expendable, perhaps.’

Kaiku felt a slow chill creep through her.

Lucia turned with a suddenness of movement that made Kaiku stop walking. The younger woman gazed at her with an unfamiliar purpose in her eyes.

‘Lucia, what is it?’

‘There are things I must say to you,’ she said. ‘In case I never again get the chance to speak them.’

Kaiku frowned. ‘Do not talk that way.’

‘I’m serious, Kaiku,’ she said. ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be this clear-headed again.’

‘Of course you will!’ Kaiku protested. ‘Once we get out of the forest, you will—’

‘Let me speak!’ Lucia snapped. Kaiku was shocked into silence. Lucia softened. ‘Forgive me. Let me say this. That is all I ask.’

Kaiku nodded.

‘I want to thank you. That is all. You and Mishani. I want you to know that . . . I appreciate everything you have done for me. For being like sisters to me. And you have always, always been on my side. When all this is done, I . . .’ She trailed off. ‘I just wanted you to know. You have my love, and you always will.’

Kaiku felt her eyes welling, and she gathered Lucia up in an embrace. ‘Heart’s blood, you make it sound like a farewell. We will come through this, Lucia. You will live to tell Mishani that yourself.’ Lucia clutched her closer. ‘I will protect you, even if it means my life.’

‘There are some things that even you cannot protect me from,’ Lucia whispered. And then she looked up, over Kaiku’s shoulder, and some aspect of her body language told Kaiku there was somebody there. She turned, and it was Heth.

‘Is Tsata with you?’ he asked without apology or preamble.

The tone in his voice killed the caustic reply Kaiku was about to make. ‘I have not seen him,’ she replied instead.

‘But he left to go after you,’ Heth said, his features animate with confusion as he wrestled with the unfamiliar Saramyrrhic syllables. ‘Into the forest.’

‘I have not been out of the village,’ Kaiku said.

‘He saw you leave,’ Heth persisted. ‘I was with him. I did not see you, but he did. He said he must talk with you.’

An odd foreboding was settling into Kaiku’s marrow. ‘When was this?’

‘A few minutes ago. Peithre has worsened; I came to fetch him.’

Kaiku looked at Lucia. ‘Three nights past, the night I was attacked by the spirit in the trees . . . I saw you walk out into the forest, and I went to follow you.’

Lucia looked blank. ‘I didn’t leave my tent that night. I was asleep, and there were guards outside.’