The Atonement (51 page)

As she watched him sleep, Callie was reminded
of how much Darius resembled Jim in terms of his personality, and
she became annoyed if not angry. All Jim did was whine, and his son
was the same way. Jim was the one who had caused all her problems
in the first place. He was the one who had got her drunk and
seduced her into having an affair, and left her pregnant. Jim was
the one who had turned Allen against her, and had ruined her life.
Soon he would be headed down to North Carolina to start a new life
for himself without a care in the world. “It’s not fair!” thought
Callie, “Once again he gets to turn my life upside down and then
run off to do whatever he wants.”

“You can’t let him get away with that,”
another voice told her. “Jim needs to pay for what he’s done to
you. It’s time you let him feel what its like to be in your
shoes.”

Callie felt the voice was right. There was no
way she could let Jim run off to live happily ever after given what
he’d done to her. He had to pay. The only thing left to figure out
was how she’d enact her revenge. It would have to be something that
would make Jim deeply regret he’d ever made an enemy out of
her.

Forty-Eight

“I am not my past, I am what God is calling
me to be. My life is in Him. I let go of all my burdens and desires
that I might surrender to His will and trust that He knows what’s
best for me. He is with me no matter what I feel like. He is gives
me the strength to go through. As long as I remain in Him I have
already overcome.”

With this declaration, the men in the
counseling group ended their session for the evening. This was the
third session that Jim had attended, and at this point all his
earlier fears and apprehensions about counseling had dissipated
like fog in sunlight. Here he found a lot of solidarity amongst
people who he felt understood what he was going through. As the
meeting began to disband, Daniel came over to where Jim and Chris
were standing.

“Jim, before you go. I just want to let you
know about this job-counseling program in NC that I found online.
It may help you get a lead. Here’s the flyer.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”

“They’re right by Allen’s folks. When you get
down there check it out. And remember, if you need something just
call me. I got people down by there, too, and I can even jet down
there if necessary.”

“It’s okay Dan. Don’t think you have to come
all the way down. A call will do.”

“Just make sure you do.”

“I will – and Dan?”

“What?”

“Thanks for having my back these past couple
of days. I want you to know I appreciate you”

“That’s what brothers are for, man.”

Daniel and Jim gave each other the pound
before going their separate ways.

“Hey, Jim. Davis said he was gonna meet up
with me to hit the donut shop for some coffee. You want to stick
around and join us,” said Chris.

“I don’t know, man. He may not be down.”

In the fallout of his disagreement with
Allen, Jim was sure that most of their set had been taking sides.
Since he hadn’t seen much of any of them lately, he could guess
whose side they’d taken. As such, he didn’t think that Davis would
welcome his company.

“C’mon, Jim. He’s chill. Here he comes now.
I’ll ask him,” said Chris.

“Chris, you ready?” said Davis.

“Yeah. But I asked Jim to come along. You
don’t mind, right?” said Chris.

“Nah. We cool. How you doin’ man? You gettin’
around any better?” said Davis.

Jim was surprised by his casual attitude. He
was certain Allen had been badmouthing him to everyone they knew.
However, Davis didn’t seem to be influenced by it.

“Every day is better than the day before. I’m
getting used to the fact that it’s going to take time, ya know?”
said Jim.

“I feel you. But you don’t have to worry
about gettin’ a work out, we only going ‘round the corner,” said
Davis.

The three men left and headed out down the
street and around the corner to a popular donut chain. Jim ordered
coffee, Chris had tea, and Davis ordered a whole-wheat donut to go
with his java. At first, Chris and Davis did most of the talking,
with Jim staring sullenly at his coffee, getting lost in his own
thoughts. There were going to be a lot of changes in store for him
in the coming weeks. He was moving down south for an indefinite
stay. He and Riley were supposed to have been headed out to North
Carolina by now, but Pop Vernon and Momma Lena insisted that he
extend his time until after Thanksgiving. They were stalling for
time, waiting for Allen to come back home to patch things up.
However, Jim had given up that hope and made peace with the fact
that maybe he had lost his best friend and brother forever. Jim
didn’t deal well with change, but he had no choice but to relegate
his fate to the will of the Father. This wasn’t what he wanted, but
if it had to be, then so be it.

“You got any plans for North Carolina?” asked
Davis. It was almost as if he had been reading Jim’s mind.

“Not really. Just going to take it day by
day.”

“You been down there before, right?” asked
Chris.

“When I was a kid, I’d visit there sometimes.
Haven’t been there in about eight years.”

“That’s a long time. But why you stayin’ with
Allen’s people? Don’t you have any family down there?” said
Chris.

“No. My grandparents died when I was a baby.
My mother was an only child, and my Dad had one brother who was
killed when he was young. Technically that makes me an orphan.”

“Sorry to hear that, man,” said Chris.

“It’s all right. I’m not alone,” said
Jim.

“That’s right, you got the Sharpes,” said
Chris.

“Even better, you always got God,” said
Davis.

“Amen,” said Chris.

“I take it Allen is still angry?” asked
Jim.

“I don’t think I’d put it like that, chief,”
said Davis.

“Haven’t heard anything from him. But then
again, I can’t blame him. It’s like you said before, I gotta man up
and accept my punishment,” said Jim.

“Look, Al’s still sorting things. Just give
him some time,” said Davis.

“Didn’t want to leave with all the loose ends
hanging around,” said Jim.

“Sometimes you can’t help it. We’re not in
control, God is,” said Chris.

“True, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have
choices to make. Jim, if Al, won’t talk to you, maybe you should
try to get in touch with him,” said Davis.

“Now you sound like Riley. I don’t want to go
over there if he doesn’t want to see me,” said Jim.

“It may not be what he wants, but it’s what
he needs – what you both need,” said Davis.

“What if we end up getting into an argument
and things get worse?” said Jim.

“And if you don’t it could
get worse. It’s like the Bible says: Agree with thine adversary
quickly whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the
adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to
the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee,
Thou shalt by no means come out thence ‘til thou hast paid the
uttermost farthing.
¹
Sometimes resentment builds over time and makes
things worse than when it started. The longer you wait, the harder
it’s gonna be. And you don’t want this thing to block your
relationship with God. It’s best to deal with things now,” said
Davis.

Jim looked away and played with his coffee
cup.

“Look, I’m not telling you to do nothin’ I’ve
never done myself. There’s risk involved, yes, but you have to
trust that God will have your back. He knows your heart, he knows
you’re tryin’ to do what’s right. Promise me you’ll pray about it –
see what the Lord says,” Davis continued.

“That’s about all I can promise,” said
Jim.

Davis’s words made sense, but Jim knew he
couldn’t do it. However, he knew who could.

Forty-Nine

Allen was startled out of his sleep when he
heard the buzz of the intercom. He was hoping Tim would answer it
since his room was closer, and Allen didn’t want to have to get up
out of bed, especially since he had just gotten into it after a
monster study session for his contracts class. To his
disappointment the only thing he heard was Tim’s loud
garbage-disposal-like snoring and the intercom buzzing again.
“Can’t believe he’s out that deep. It’s not like he came back home
late last night,” thought Allen as he got out of bed, put on his
robe and walked to the living room, where he saw the clock. It was
7:30am. Allen had no idea who would be calling on them at this time
in the morning. Then he had a second thought. “Maybe it’s mom
coming for my laundry.”

“What’s up, Brad?”

“Mr. Sharpe to see you Mr. Sharpe.”

“My dad? Why would my dad come all the way
here this early? I hope something hasn’t happened,” mused Allen.
“Okay” he said to Bradley.

Allen went to the door and unlocked it. As he
waited for his father, he tried to anticipate what he’d come for.
His dad was not the type of person to make a long trip to talk to
him, when the phone was readily available. Allen was so busy
thinking he didn’t hear his father approaching and was startled
when the doorbell rang.

“Dad, what are you doing here so early? Is
mama alright?”

“Yo’ mama’s fine. I came to talk to you.”

“At 7:30 in the morning?”

“What you talkin’ bout 7:30. I been up since
5:00. You young folks just too lazy for any good.”

“It’s Saturday – and I was up studying ‘till
late last night.”

“I don’t want to get into nothin’ bout no
studyin’. I want to know…” began Vernon before he paused and looked
around. “What is makin’ that noise like that?”

“That’s just Tim’s snoring.”

“Boy needs to get his adenoids checked –
anyway, I want to know when you gon’ cut this foolishness and bring
yo’ behind back home. This baby-boy temper – tantrum you havin’
done gone on long enough.”

“Temper tantrum! How can you say that after
what Jim did to me? How would you feel if you found out the Pastor
was having an affair with Ma!”

“That ain’t nothin’ like what we talkin’
‘bout. And even if it did, you think I’m gon’ run to Smitty’s house
and never go to church again.”

“Dad, Jim is not the same person he was when
we were growing up. His actions have made that clear. Now, I’m over
what’s happened and I’m not angry anymore, but I can’t help but
think that all of this came out when it did for a reason. Maybe
this is the way God wants it to be. I’m just trying to go along
with the inevitable progression of things.”

“Or maybe it’s the way the Devil wants it to
be. Allen, you and Jimmy been friends for too long to let some
shady gal come between you two.”

“Jim’s just as shady as she is. She had a
partner, after all.”

“Jimmy told you the truth and apologized. Did
she do that? Cause those actions tell me a lot more than what came
before.”

“Still…”

“Don’t you ‘still’ me when I’m talkin’ to you
– Listen, that boy been wearing out the prayer rug at the church
over this thing.”

“If he’d done that before, this would’ve
never happened.”

“Allen, I know you ain’t gon’ allow yourself
to be so hardened against Jimmy. Especially after everything you
been through.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking ‘bout when you prayed that Davis
would forgive you for runnin’ your mouth in his business, and if
that’s not enough, what about when you prayed to God to have mercy
on you and speak to you after you’d turned your back on Him lookin’
for that corner office job. Even now, when you shruggin’ off Bible
study, and cuttin’ out of church, He’s still being merciful. And
look at how you repayin’ that.”

There was nothing that Allen could say.

“The Bible say, “seventy
times seven”. Remember that man Jesus talked about that threw his
friend in prison over 100 dollars after his boss forgave him for
10,000.00.
¹
Don’t ask God for mercy no mo’ if you ain’t willing to give
it.”

Just then Tim stumbled out of his room, half
asleep.

“What’s going on, out here?” he said through
a yawn as he stretched himself. Then he rubbed his eyes. “Mr.
Sharpe?”

“Boy, how you coming out half-naked like that
in this cold!” scolded Mr. Sharpe.

Tim looked down at his grey t-shirt and black
sweatpants, puzzled. Then he sent another puzzled look towards
Allen’s way. Allen merely shrugged.

“Go git yo’ robe and put it on! You makin’ me
cold just looking at you! No slippers or nothing.’”

“But I’m not…” began Tim, before Allen shot
him a look of warning. “I’ll – just – be – right back.”

“Allen, you’re not the first person that was
wronged in this world, and you haven’t been wronged in the worst
way. Jesus died for sinners - all sinners - and that means you
don’t have the right to hold nothing against nobody. Now you chew
on that for a while.”

“Dad…”

“I’ve said my piece – I’m going. But also
know that I expect you back in our house for Sunday dinner. Is that
clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Cause even if you gon’ be a grudge, you can
at least be civil and say goodbye.”

As Vernon headed for the door, Tim reappeared
wearing a dark green full-length terry-cloth robe.

“I’m properly robed now, sir.”

“Good. And get your adenoids checked ‘cause
your snoring sounds like construction” returned Vernon before
leaving.

“I will, sir.”

Allen closed the door, leaned against it and
let out a sigh.

“What was that about?”

“Just my dad being a papa bear, that’s all.
If he nags you that means he sees you as his kid.”

“That I know. What did he want to see you
about?”